Workaholic's Unusual Vacation

Dr. Greg Hewitt, a Toronto psychologist specializing in phobias, is convinced by his sister to take a long-overdue vacation. Planning a trip to Mexico, he leaves his office, only to be lured—by mysterious compulsion—into the trunk of a stranger's car. This impulsive act, out of character for the workaholic Greg, sets the stage for a journey far stranger than any tropical getaway, as he is delivered to a mansion and tied to a bed as a "birthday present" for a woman he's never met.

Hungry Hearts and Blind Dates

Lissianna, a beautiful, kind-hearted vampire with a peculiar problem—she faints at the sight of blood—struggles to feed herself. Her friends set her up with a "quick bite" in a bar's parking lot, but the experience goes awry when her date is anemic and faking his masculinity. Lissianna's hunger and frustration mount, and she looks forward to her mother's birthday party, hoping for a more satisfying meal.

Birthday Surprises Unwrapped

At her family's party, Lissianna discovers Greg, tied to her bed with a bow, intended as her "birthday present." Expecting a delicious "Sweet Tooth" (a diabetic for a rare treat), she's shocked to learn Greg is a psychologist, brought by her mother to cure her phobia. The family's well-meaning but high-handed intervention throws Greg and Lissianna together in a most unconventional therapy session.

Tied Up and Tempted

Greg, confused and helpless, is seduced by Lissianna as she attempts to feed on him. Their physical and mental connection is immediate and intense, with Lissianna unable to read or control Greg's mind—a rarity among her kind. The encounter is interrupted by family, but the spark between them is undeniable, setting the stage for both romance and chaos.

Family of Immortals

Greg is introduced to Lissianna's extended family, a clan of modern vampires descended from Atlanteans with nanotechnology in their blood. The family's dynamics are both comedic and touching, with cousins, siblings, and matriarchs all invested in Lissianna's happiness and health. Greg learns about their rules, history, and the unique challenges of immortality.

The Phobia Revealed

The family's concern centers on Lissianna's inability to feed from blood bags—she faints at the sight of blood, a humiliating and dangerous condition for a vampire. Her attempts to feed at a homeless shelter are fraught with risk, and her mother's desperation leads to Greg's "kidnapping." Greg, initially angry, is moved by the family's love and Lissianna's vulnerability.

A Psychologist's Dilemma

Greg is torn between his professional ethics and his growing attraction to Lissianna. The family pleads with him to help her, but he's also aware of the bizarre circumstances of his involvement. As he learns more about the Argeneaus, he's drawn into their world, questioning his own beliefs about reality, love, and what it means to help someone.

Seduction, Secrets, and Siblings

Lissianna and Greg's relationship deepens amid family antics, pajama parties, and midnight confessions. The Argeneau cousins conspire to bring them together, while Lissianna's phobia and Greg's resistance to mind control mark him as her potential "true life mate." Their mutual attraction grows, but so do the complications.

The True Nature of Vampires

Lissianna reveals the truth about her people: they are not cursed, but the result of ancient nanotechnology designed to heal and prolong life. They need blood to fuel the nanos, and their abilities—strength, mind control, fangs—are evolutionary adaptations. Greg is fascinated, and the two share intimate moments that blend physical pleasure with psychic connection.

Therapy, Trauma, and Trust

Greg begins therapy with Lissianna, uncovering the traumatic origins of her phobia: a disastrous first feeding, exacerbated by her father's cruelty. Their sessions are as much about trust and vulnerability as psychology, and their emotional intimacy grows. Meanwhile, the threat of the vampire council looms, as Greg's knowledge of their world makes him a liability.

Escape Plans and Pursuits

When the council threatens to erase Greg's memory—or worse—Lissianna helps him escape. Their flight through Toronto's underground malls, movie theaters, and safe houses is both thrilling and romantic. They are pursued not only by the council but by a zealous priest and a spurned "quick bite," who believe Lissianna is a monster.

Staked and Rescued

Lissianna is staked by Dwayne, the anemic bar date, manipulated by Father Joseph, the priest. Greg saves her, but both are captured and chained in a sunroom, facing death by sunlight and staking. The Argeneau family, led by the formidable Lucian, races to the rescue, using their powers to subdue the attackers and save the couple.

Turning Point: Becoming Immortal

To save Greg from death and the council's mind-wipe, Lissianna turns him into an immortal. The process is excruciating, both physically and emotionally, but it cements their bond. Greg's acceptance of immortality is both a sacrifice and a declaration of love, as he chooses a future with Lissianna over his mortal life.

Love, Fear, and Forever

Both Greg and Lissianna struggle with fears—of loss, of repeating past mistakes, of the unknown. With the help of family and friends, they confront their insecurities and realize that love is worth the risk. Lissianna's phobia remains, but with Greg's support, she is ready to face it, and together they plan a future.

The Priest's Crusade

Father Joseph's crusade against Lissianna is revealed as a tragic misunderstanding, fueled by zeal and misinformation. The family intervenes, erasing memories and restoring peace, but not before Greg and Lissianna are forced to fight for their lives and their right to be together.

Sunlight, Chains, and Confessions

Chained in the sunroom, facing death, Greg and Lissianna confess their love and fears. Their vulnerability and honesty break down the last barriers between them, and Lissianna's strength—both physical and emotional—frees them. The family's timely arrival ensures their survival and a new beginning.

Family to the Rescue

The Argeneau family rallies around the couple, healing wounds and welcoming Greg as one of their own. Old misunderstandings are cleared, enemies are neutralized, and the couple is finally free to choose their future. Lissianna's phobia is no longer a source of shame, but a challenge to be faced together.

Embracing Immortality Together

Greg and Lissianna, now true life mates, embrace their immortality and their love. With the support of their eccentric, loving family, they look forward to eternity together—ready to face whatever comes, as partners, equals, and soulmates.

Characters

Lissianna Argeneau

Lissianna is a two-hundred-year-old vampire with a unique problem: she faints at the sight of blood. Kind, empathetic, and self-sacrificing, she works at a homeless shelter, trying to feed without harming others. Her phobia is both a source of shame and a symbol of her vulnerability. Lissianna's relationships—with her loving but meddling family, her overbearing mother, and her new "life mate" Greg—are marked by a longing for acceptance and independence. Her journey is one of self-discovery, as she learns to trust, love, and embrace her true self.

Dr. Gregory Hewitt

Greg is a dedicated psychologist, logical and grounded, whose world is upended by the Argeneau family. Initially a victim of their schemes, he becomes Lissianna's therapist, lover, and ultimately, her partner in immortality. Greg's struggle is between his professional ethics and his growing love for Lissianna. His resistance to mind control marks him as her true life mate, and his willingness to sacrifice his mortal life for her cements their bond. Greg's humor, intelligence, and adaptability make him both a grounding force and a catalyst for change.

Marguerite Argeneau

Lissianna's mother, Marguerite, is the driving force behind the plot, orchestrating Greg's "kidnapping" and therapy. Fiercely protective and deeply loving, she is both a source of comfort and exasperation for her children. Marguerite's belief in true love and her willingness to bend rules for her family's happiness are both her strength and her flaw.

Thomas Argeneau

Raised alongside Lissianna, Thomas is more brother than cousin. He provides emotional support, practical help, and much-needed levity. His own experiences with the family's prejudices and his playful nature make him a bridge between the old and new generations.

Lucian Argeneau

The family patriarch and head of the vampire council, Lucian is feared and respected. His cold exterior hides a deep sense of responsibility and love for his family. Lucian's role is both judge and protector, and his eventual acceptance of Greg and Lissianna's bond is a turning point.

Mirabeau La Roche

Mirabeau, Lissianna's friend, is a centuries-old vampire with her own scars. She provides guidance, support, and a pragmatic perspective. Her loyalty to Lissianna and her willingness to challenge authority make her an essential ally.

Father Joseph

The priest at Lissianna's shelter, Father Joseph becomes obsessed with exposing and destroying her, convinced she is a soulless monster. His fanaticism is both dangerous and pitiable, and his actions drive much of the external conflict. Ultimately, he is a victim of his own fears and misunderstandings.

Dwayne (a.k.a. "Bob")

Dwayne, the anemic bar date, is both a source of humor and danger. His desire to impress and his susceptibility to Father Joseph's influence make him a pawn in the larger conflict. His actions—staking Lissianna and helping to imprison her—are driven by insecurity and confusion.

The Argeneau Cousins (Jeanne Louise, Elspeth, Julianna, Victoria)

The younger Argeneaus provide comic relief, emotional support, and a sense of community. Their antics, loyalty, and willingness to break rules for Lissianna's sake highlight the importance of family and chosen bonds.

Debbie James

Lissianna's coworker at the shelter, Debbie is a source of practical advice and emotional support. Her presence reminds Lissianna of the value of human connection and the importance of facing one's fears.

Plot Devices

Fish-Out-of-Water Narrative

The story's humor and tension stem from Greg's abrupt transition from rational psychologist to unwilling participant in vampire family drama. His outsider perspective allows for both comedic misunderstandings and genuine exploration of the Argeneau world.

Phobia as Metaphor

Her fear of blood is both a literal obstacle and a metaphor for shame, trauma, and the struggle for self-acceptance. The therapy sessions serve as a narrative device for character development and romantic intimacy.

True Life Mate Trope

The inability to read or control a true life mate's mind is both a plot device and a symbol of equality and genuine connection. It distinguishes Greg from other suitors and justifies the rapid, intense bond between him and Lissianna.

Family as Both Obstacle and Support

The Argeneau family's meddling creates both conflict and resolution. Their love is suffocating and redemptive, driving the plot forward and providing both comic relief and emotional depth.

Misunderstanding and Misinformation

Father Joseph's fanaticism, fueled by half-truths and urban legends, creates external conflict and raises questions about prejudice, fear, and the danger of zealotry.

Transformation and Sacrifice

The act of becoming immortal is both a literal and symbolic transformation, representing the ultimate commitment and the willingness to embrace change for love.

Romantic Comedy Structure

The novel's structure borrows from romantic comedy, with misunderstandings, family antics, and a series of escalating crises leading to a cathartic, joyful resolution.

Analysis

A Quick Bite reimagines the vampire romance as a blend of comedy, family drama, and psychological healing, using the supernatural as a lens for exploring vulnerability, trauma, and the search for belonging. Lissianna's phobia is both a literal and metaphorical barrier, challenging the myth of the invulnerable vampire and highlighting the universal struggle for self-acceptance. Greg's journey from rational skeptic to immortal partner underscores the power of love to transcend fear, tradition, and even mortality. The Argeneau family, with their eccentricities and deep bonds, serve as both obstacle and support, reminding readers that love—romantic or familial—is messy, complicated, and worth fighting for. The novel's humor, warmth, and focus on consent and equality set it apart from darker vampire tales, offering a hopeful message: that true partnership is built on trust, vulnerability, and the courage to embrace both change and forever.

Last updated: May 21, 2025