American Girls

1. Social media dominates teenage girls' lives, shaping their self-image and relationships

"Social media is destroying our lives," said the girl at the Grove. "So why don't you go off it?" I asked. "Because then we would have no life," said her friend.

Ubiquitous presence: Social media has become an integral part of teenage girls' lives, with many reporting that they are "on it twenty-four/seven." This constant connectivity shapes how girls view themselves and interact with others.

Impact on self-image: The pressure to present a perfect image online leads many girls to obsess over their appearance and carefully curate their online personas. This often results in:

• Excessive time spent taking and editing selfies
• Anxiety over the number of likes and comments received
• Comparison to idealized images of peers and celebrities

Relationships in the digital age: Social media has fundamentally altered how teenage girls form and maintain relationships:

• Communication primarily occurs through texting and social media platforms
• The concept of "stalking" someone's profile has become normalized
• Relationships are often defined by their online status and visibility

2. The pressure to be "hot" and gain likes leads to increased sexualization of young girls

"Being hot gets you everything," Teresa went on. "You'd be amazed how many things I got when I turned into this."

The pursuit of hotness: Many girls feel intense pressure to present themselves as sexually attractive online, believing it's the key to social success and validation.

Consequences of sexualization:

• Girls as young as 13 posting provocative photos
• Increased body image issues and eating disorders
• Normalization of sending nude photos ("nudes")
• Objectification of girls by both boys and other girls

The desire for likes and followers often leads girls to push boundaries, emulating the hyper-sexualized images they see in popular media and pornography. This early sexualization can have lasting impacts on girls' self-worth and relationships.

3. Cyberbullying and online harassment disproportionately affect girls, causing lasting trauma

"I was completely traumatized," Sydney said. "I had to switch schools." She went to another private school then. "I became insanely insecure."

Pervasive problem: Cyberbullying has become a widespread issue, with girls more likely to be victims than boys. The anonymous nature of online interactions often emboldens bullies and amplifies the cruelty of their attacks.

Lasting impacts:

• Anxiety and depression
• Low self-esteem and trust issues
• Social isolation and academic struggles
• In extreme cases, self-harm or suicidal thoughts

Many girls struggle to escape cyberbullying due to the constant connectivity of social media. Even when not actively online, the fear of what might be said about them can be overwhelming.

4. Hookup culture and the normalization of casual sex create a double standard for girls

"If a girl hooks up with three boys in one night," she went on, "that's a problem for girls. But if a boy does the same thing, they're celebrated. It's like, Oh, congratulations, that's great."

Shift in dating norms: Traditional dating has largely been replaced by a hookup culture that emphasizes casual sexual encounters over committed relationships.

Double standard:

• Boys praised for multiple sexual partners
• Girls labeled as "sluts" or "thots" for similar behavior
• Pressure on girls to be sexually available but not "too easy"

This culture often leaves girls feeling confused, used, and emotionally unfulfilled. Many report feeling pressured to engage in sexual activities they're not comfortable with to avoid being labeled as "prudes."

5. Porn's influence on teenagers distorts expectations and behaviors in intimate relationships

"When you have sex with a guy, they want it to be like a porno," says a nineteen-year-old girl in New York. "They want anal and oral right away. Oral is, like, the new kissing."

Easy access: The widespread availability of online pornography has made it a primary source of sex education for many teenagers, particularly boys.

Distorted expectations:

• Unrealistic body standards for both genders
• Emphasis on male pleasure and female submission
• Normalization of aggressive or degrading acts

Many girls report feeling pressure to perform acts they've seen in porn, often without regard for their own comfort or pleasure. This can lead to negative sexual experiences and a disconnect between intimacy and emotional connection.

6. The rise of social media "celebrities" impacts girls' aspirations and self-worth

"Amanda is my idol!" said one of her 1.5 million YouTube followers. "AMANDA IS MY QUEEN," said one of her 1 million followers on Instagram. "AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT."

New role models: Social media influencers and "internet famous" personalities have become major cultural icons for teenage girls, often eclipsing traditional celebrities in terms of influence and aspirational value.

Impact on girls' goals and self-image:

• Emphasis on physical appearance and lifestyle
• Pressure to gain followers and become "Instagram famous"
• Blurring of lines between authentic self and curated online persona

While some girls find inspiration and community through these online figures, others struggle with feelings of inadequacy when comparing their lives to the carefully crafted images presented by influencers.

7. Parents and schools struggle to address the challenges posed by social media

"Being a parent of a teenager today, it's hard to advise them," Debby said. "We didn't grow up with social media, so we can't understand what they're experiencing."

Generational disconnect: Many parents and educators feel ill-equipped to guide teenagers through the complexities of social media, having not experienced it themselves during adolescence.

Challenges for adults:

• Difficulty monitoring online activities
• Balancing privacy concerns with safety
• Addressing cyberbullying and online harassment
• Navigating rapidly changing platforms and trends

Schools often struggle to create effective policies around social media use, while parents grapple with setting appropriate boundaries and fostering open communication about online experiences.

8. Girls face increased sexual harassment, both online and in real life

"Girls were more likely than boys to be sexually harassed, by a significant margin (56 percent versus 40 percent)," the AAUW report went on.

Pervasive problem: Sexual harassment has become a common experience for many teenage girls, occurring both online and in person, particularly in school settings.

Forms of harassment:

• Unwanted sexual comments and jokes
• Sharing of explicit images without consent
• Physical touching or intimidation
• Online stalking and solicitation

Many girls report feeling powerless to stop harassment, often normalizing it as "just part of life." This acceptance can have long-lasting impacts on girls' sense of self-worth and their expectations in future relationships.

9. Social media exacerbates mental health issues, including anxiety and depression

"It stresses me out, honestly," Julie said. "I suffer from anxiety. I've been suffering for so long now. I go to a therapist and I do take medicine for it."

Increased vulnerability: The constant pressure to present a perfect image online, combined with the fear of missing out (FOMO) and cyberbullying, can exacerbate existing mental health issues or trigger new ones.

Common mental health impacts:

• Anxiety and depression
• Low self-esteem and body image issues
• Sleep disturbances
• Social isolation and withdrawal

The addictive nature of social media can create a cycle of seeking validation online, leading to increased anxiety when that validation isn't received, further driving social media use.

10. Despite challenges, some girls find empowerment and community through social media

"I am a feminist," Montana said. "I am definitely a feminist. Every girl has to be a feminist, and if she's not, she's against her own kind."

Positive aspects: While social media presents many challenges, it also offers opportunities for girls to connect with like-minded peers, express themselves creatively, and engage with important social issues.

Empowering uses of social media:

• Sharing feminist ideas and resources
• Finding support for marginalized identities (e.g., LGBTQ+ youth)
• Organizing around social and political causes
• Showcasing talents and interests beyond physical appearance

Some girls report feeling more confident and supported through their online communities, using social media as a tool for self-expression and personal growth rather than solely for validation.

Last updated: January 24, 2025