Bad with Money

1. Your Family's Money History Matters.

Your money script is a puzzle, and other people hold most of the pieces.

Inherited money scripts. The way your parents and older family members interacted with money shaped your own financial views, often subconsciously. These "money scripts" can be categorized as "wealthy" (like saving for emergencies) or "poor" (like believing money is bad), regardless of actual wealth. Unlearning these deeply ingrained patterns is a significant challenge.

Generational patterns. Family dynamics around money, including debt, spending habits, and transparency (or lack thereof), get passed down. Talking to siblings or cousins who grew up in the same household can reveal different perspectives and pieces of the puzzle you might have forgotten or never saw. Understanding your family's financial history is the first step to deconstructing and changing your own habits.

Beyond the numbers. Family money issues aren't just about income or debt; they're tied to emotions, trauma, and life experiences. The author's family history included addiction, gambling, and surviving the Holocaust, all of which influenced how money was viewed and handled across generations. Recognizing these emotional roots is crucial for addressing your own financial behaviors.

2. Early Work & Hustle Builds Foundation.

I wanted to get PAID.

High school hustle. Early jobs, even seemingly unglamorous ones like catering or babysitting, provide valuable experience and cash. The author's high school jobs, including a paid newspaper internship, taught skills like interviewing, writing, and dealing with difficult situations (like drunk Uncle Fred). These experiences build work ethic and look good on college applications, especially for students who can't afford unpaid extracurriculars.

Finding opportunities. Getting early jobs often relies on leveraging connections and being vocal about your search. Don't be afraid to ask everyone you know if they're hiring or know someone who is. Embrace "nepotism" if friends can recommend you, but always perform well to reflect positively on them.

Beyond traditional jobs. Work doesn't just mean retail or restaurants; it includes neighborhood gigs like mowing lawns or organizing. The internet also offers remote options for teens. The key is to put yourself out there, create a simple resume, and keep trying, even if you face rejection.

3. College Debt is a Heavy Burden.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone did the same thing for student loans?

Emotional decisions. Choosing a college is often driven by emotion and prestige rather than financial reality, leading to massive debt. The author chose an expensive out-of-state school over a free in-state option due to a desperate need to escape her hometown, a decision she later regretted due to the resulting $30,000 in loans. Many students and parents make similar impractical choices.

Debt is the norm. Student loan debt is a widespread crisis affecting millions across generations, often viewed as too overwhelming to confront. Many bury their heads in the sand, hoping for forgiveness or simply planning to die with the debt. First-generation students often lack guidance on navigating loans, signing up without fully understanding interest rates or consolidation complexities.

Alternatives exist. Community colleges and vocational schools offer more affordable paths to education and good-paying jobs, often without debt. However, these options still face stigma compared to four-year universities. Parents increasingly help pay off their children's student loans, sometimes jeopardizing their own retirement, highlighting that student debt is often a family burden.

4. Unpaid Work is Often Exploitative.

If you don’t pay your interns, that is at odds with this desire to increase diversity.

Paying to work. Unpaid internships, especially in "glamorized" industries, became common during economic downturns, allowing companies to get free labor from desperate young people. The author even paid a community college for credits to make her unpaid Daily Show internship technically count, highlighting the absurdity of paying for the privilege of working for free. These internships often require additional expenses like professional clothing and transportation.

Barrier to entry. Unpaid internships create significant racial and economic barriers, weeding out working-class students who cannot afford to work without pay. This results in a less diverse workforce, predominantly composed of wealthy and middle-class individuals. Unpaid minority interns may also face additional, uncompensated labor related to their identity.

Questioning the value. While some believe unpaid internships open doors, experts argue there's little data to support this unless the internship provides genuinely useful skills, not just fetching coffee. Companies have faced lawsuits over unpaid internships, leading some to start paying. Experts advise seeking paid opportunities first, as unpaid experience can signal desperation and lead to lower salary offers later.

5. Mental Health & Money Are Intertwined.

For as long as it has taken me to open up about my disorder, it has taken me even longer to connect the dots between my mental health and my finances.

Impulsive spending. Mental health conditions, like bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression, can significantly impact financial behavior, leading to impulsive or comfort spending. Mania can cause reckless spending sprees, while depression can lead to buying things to feel better or cope. The author's bipolar II diagnosis explained years of impulsive purchases and financial instability.

Romanticizing illness. There's a harmful myth that mental illness fuels creativity or success, leading some to avoid treatment or embrace unhealthy habits. The author initially believed her best work came from manic periods, but this mindset ignored the debilitating consequences, including financial ruin and suicidal ideation. Seeking professional help and medication, if needed, is crucial for both mental and financial stability.

Breaking the cycle. Recognizing the link between mental health and money is the first step. Strategies like using cash, freezing credit cards, deleting shopping apps, and having a "bipolar buddy" can help manage impulsive spending. Seeking therapy or support groups, even on a sliding scale, is vital. Financial problems can exacerbate mental health issues, creating a vicious cycle that requires addressing both simultaneously.

6. Master Your Credit & Debt.

Building “good credit” is a task worth taking seriously since it can affect your ability to do so many important human adult things, like rent an apartment, secure a job, buy a car, apply for a good credit card, or take out a loan of any kind.

Credit score matters. Your credit score (300-850) is a measure of financial trustworthiness, impacting major life milestones. It's determined by factors like payment history, amounts owed, length of credit history, types of credit, and new credit applications. Checking your score annually for free is essential.

Navigating debt. High-interest debt, like credit cards, should generally be prioritized for payoff over lower-interest loans like student debt. Understanding interest rates is crucial, as they can drastically increase the total amount paid over time. Don't be afraid to negotiate payment plans with creditors or the IRS if needed.

Systemic inequality. The credit system is not a level playing field; historical racism and redlining have created disadvantages for marginalized communities, particularly people of color. Black and Latinx individuals often face higher interest rates and lower credit limits, even with comparable credit scores. Acknowledging this systemic bias is important when discussing individual credit building.

7. Track Spending & Budget Your Way.

To be completely honest, hearing people talk about intense budgeting makes me nervous from a political standpoint.

Budgeting philosophies. Financial gurus offer conflicting advice on budgeting, from strict cash-only methods to more flexible approaches. Some critics argue that intense budgeting places undue blame on individuals for systemic economic problems, focusing on cutting small expenses rather than addressing larger issues like stagnant wages and rising costs. The author initially resisted budgeting due to this political discomfort.

Know where money goes. Regardless of the method, tracking your spending is essential to understand your financial reality. Reviewing bank statements can reveal surprising expenditures, like excessive online shopping or ATM fees. Identifying where your money is actually going is the first step to making conscious choices about spending and saving.

Find your method. There's no one-size-fits-all budget. Options range from cash envelopes and percentage-based rules (like 50/30/20) to budgeting apps and simple spreadsheets. The goal is to find a system that works for your income stability and personality, allowing you to plan for expenses and save without feeling overly restricted or defeated.

8. Taxes Are Confusing, Get Help.

Taxes make my brain explode.

Freelance complexities. Taxes are complicated for everyone, but especially for freelancers who don't have employers withholding taxes automatically. Freelancers use W-9 forms for employers and receive 1099 forms detailing their income, requiring them to track expenses for potential write-offs. Full-time employees use W-2 forms, with taxes typically withheld from paychecks.

Deductions matter. Understanding potential deductions can significantly reduce your taxable income. Common write-offs for freelancers include business travel, meals with clients, home office expenses, and business-related purchases. Keeping meticulous records, like a calendar of work-related events and photos of receipts, is crucial for maximizing deductions.

Don't go it alone. Tax laws are complex and constantly changing. Don't be embarrassed to seek help from accountants, tax services (like H&R Block or TurboTax), or online resources. The IRS offers payment plans if you owe money, and they are generally willing to work with individuals. Being organized and proactive makes the process less stressful.

9. Money Impacts All Relationships.

Money, she warned, is the number one reason for divorce.

Dating dynamics. Money can create complex dynamics in dating, from feeling pressure to spend more than you can afford to navigating power imbalances based on
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Last updated: May 20, 2025