Beside Every Successful Man

1. Wives can significantly impact their husbands' career success

There is a reason that the old adage "Behind every successful man is a good woman" became conventional wisdom.

The marriage premium. Research shows that married men earn 20-50% more than their single counterparts, even without additional effort. This "male marriage premium" is attributed to wives' support, which includes emotional encouragement, practical assistance, and networking opportunities.

Historical examples. Throughout history, influential women have played crucial roles in their husbands' success:

• Abigail Adams: Vital to John Adams' political career
• Alma Hitchcock: Collaborated on all aspects of Alfred Hitchcock's films
• Rachel Robinson: Supported Jackie Robinson in breaking baseball's color barrier

Modern partnerships. Today's successful men often credit their wives for their achievements. Examples include:

• Sandy Weill (former Citigroup CEO)
• Richard Parsons (former Time Warner CEO)
• Jeff Bezos (Amazon founder)

2. Identifying and leveraging strengths is key to professional growth

Our strengths are, for the most part, fixed, and our greatest potential for excellence lies in the areas where we have the strongest synaptic connections.

Understanding strengths. Neuroscience reveals that our talents are largely determined by our brain's synaptic connections, which are influenced by genetics and early experiences. Focusing on these innate strengths leads to greater success than trying to improve weaknesses.

Identifying strengths:

• Look for areas of yearning or childhood dreams
• Notice skills learned easily or tasks that bring satisfaction
• Pay attention to activities that energize rather than drain
• Consider feedback from others about perceived talents

Applying strengths. Once identified, strengths should be intentionally leveraged in one's career:

• Seek roles that align with natural talents
• Adapt current positions to utilize strengths more frequently
• Collaborate with others who complement your abilities
• Continuously seek opportunities to develop and apply core strengths

3. Effective motivation transforms applause into profit

When wives reflect back to their husbands' closely held beliefs about who they want to be, their wives help them move closer to that ideal.

The power of belief. A wife's confidence in her husband's abilities can significantly impact his performance and career trajectory. This phenomenon, known as the Michelangelo Effect, occurs when one partner's perceptions and behaviors help "sculpt" the other into their ideal self.

Effective motivation strategies:

• Emphasize specific strengths relevant to his career goals
• Celebrate efforts and persistence, not just outcomes
• Help reframe setbacks using an optimistic explanatory style
• Encourage process-based visualization of success
• Provide unwavering support during challenging times

Avoiding pitfalls. Motivation should come from a place of confidence, not fear or resentment. Avoid nagging or criticizing, which can undermine self-esteem and motivation.

4. Wives possess unique advising abilities that benefit their husbands

We pick up on everything from a change in tone to a slight shift in expression to read a person's emotional state and respond appropriately. Men, on the other hand, can have a difficult time recognizing even those emotional signals a woman would consider obvious.

Women's intuitive advantage. Research shows that women's brains are better equipped to process emotional and social cues, giving them an edge in interpersonal situations. This "female intuition" can be a valuable asset in business settings.

Key advising strengths:

• Superior ability to read nonverbal cues and emotions
• Enhanced communication and listening skills
• Greater capacity for empathy and understanding different perspectives
• Talent for defusing conflicts and navigating complex social situations

Effective advising techniques:

• Offer insights on people and relationships in business contexts
• Help interpret subtle emotional dynamics in workplace situations
• Provide a fresh perspective as an "outsider" to his industry
• Communicate advice clearly and directly, avoiding manipulation tactics

5. Networking and PR skills can boost household income

We are all cut out from the same cookie cutter!

Leveraging female networking strengths. Women typically have wider social circles and are more adept at forming and maintaining relationships. These skills can be powerful tools for advancing a husband's career.

Effective networking strategies:

• Start with existing connections: friends, family, and acquaintances
• Attend work-related social events and actively engage with others
• Join or create networking groups focused on mutual career support
• Leverage social media platforms for professional networking

PR skills in action:

• Help craft and maintain a positive public image for your husband
• Assist in preparing presentations or promotional materials
• Act as a brand ambassador at professional events
• Identify and pursue opportunities for positive media exposure

6. Wives' talents can generate substantial earnings, even from home

Using your skills and education to further your own career or you're not using them at all.

Collaborative partnership. Many successful men attribute their achievements to their wives' active involvement in their careers. This collaboration can take many forms, from behind-the-scenes support to official business partnerships.

Ways to contribute:

• Offer expertise in areas complementary to your husband's skills
• Take on administrative or organizational tasks to free up his time
• Assist with research, writing, or creative projects
• Provide valuable insights as an outside observer of his industry

Examples of impactful contributions:

• Leslie Baird: Created marketing materials for her husband's pharmaceutical sales career
• MacKenzie Bezos: Served as Amazon's first accountant and contributed to various aspects of the startup
• Kim Johnson: Manages administrative tasks for her professional golfer husband, allowing him to focus on his game

7. Maintaining perspective and work-life balance enhances success

Actions by wives to urge and help their husbands to "get a life" will have the same effect.

The importance of balance. Overwork can lead to burnout, health issues, and decreased productivity. Encouraging a healthy work-life balance can actually improve professional performance and overall life satisfaction.

Strategies for maintaining perspective:

• Insist on regular vacations and technology-free time
• Act as a gatekeeper, helping to filter non-essential work demands
• Encourage involvement in volunteer activities or hobbies
• Remind him of his identity and value outside of work
• Foster a sense of purpose beyond career achievements

Benefits of balance:

• Increased creativity and problem-solving abilities
• Improved mental and physical health
• Enhanced relationships with family and friends
• Greater overall life satisfaction and career longevity

Last updated: August 9, 2024