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Comfortable with Uncertainty

Comfortable with Uncertainty

108 Teachings on Cultivating Fearlessness and Compassion
by Pema Chödrön 2003 250 pages
4.25
7k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Embrace Uncertainty and Impermanence as Paths to Wisdom

Comfortable with uncertainty is learning to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears.

Impermanence is fundamental. Everything in life is constantly changing, and this realization can be a source of profound wisdom and liberation. Instead of resisting change and uncertainty, we can learn to embrace them as natural aspects of existence.

Wisdom through acceptance. By accepting impermanence, we develop a more flexible and resilient approach to life. This doesn't mean we become passive or indifferent, but rather that we learn to flow with life's changes instead of constantly fighting against them.

Practical application:

  • Practice mindfulness to observe the constantly changing nature of thoughts, emotions, and sensations
  • Remind yourself daily of life's impermanence to cultivate gratitude and presence
  • When facing difficulties, ask yourself: "How can I use this situation to grow and learn?"

2. Cultivate Bodhichitta: The Awakened Heart of Compassion

Bodhichitta is our heart—our wounded, softened heart. Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die.

Awakening compassion. Bodhichitta is the awakened heart of loving-kindness and compassion. It's our innate capacity to care deeply for ourselves and others, even in the face of suffering and difficulty.

The path of the warrior-bodhisattva. Cultivating bodhichitta is not about escaping from the world's problems, but about diving into them with an open heart. It's a courageous path that involves facing our fears and vulnerabilities while maintaining a sense of warmth and compassion.

Practices for cultivating bodhichitta:

  • Loving-kindness meditation: Sending wishes of well-being to yourself and others
  • Tonglen practice: Breathing in others' suffering and breathing out relief
  • Acts of kindness: Regularly engaging in small acts of compassion and generosity
  • Self-reflection: Examining your motivations and cultivating an intention to benefit others

3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation to Stay Present

Meditation takes us just as we are, with our confusion and our sanity. This complete acceptance of ourselves as we are is a simple, direct relationship with our being.

Mindfulness as a foundation. Regular mindfulness and meditation practice helps us develop a more stable and clear mind. It allows us to observe our thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them.

Staying present. Through meditation, we learn to stay present with whatever arises in our experience, whether pleasant or unpleasant. This cultivates a non-judgmental awareness that can be applied to all aspects of life.

Key meditation instructions:

  1. Find a comfortable seated position
  2. Focus on your breath, noticing the sensations of inhaling and exhaling
  3. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to the breath
  4. Practice regularly, even if only for a few minutes each day
  5. Gradually extend your practice to daily activities, cultivating moment-to-moment awareness

4. Transform Negative Emotions into Compassion through Tonglen

Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering—ours and that which is all around us—everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our heart.

Embracing discomfort. Tonglen, or "sending and taking," is a powerful practice for transforming difficult emotions and experiences into compassion. Instead of pushing away what's unpleasant, we learn to breathe it in and send out relief.

Expanding compassion. Through tonglen, we develop the capacity to stay present with our own suffering and that of others. This practice helps us recognize our interconnectedness and cultivate a more open-hearted approach to life.

Steps for tonglen practice:

  1. Breathe in the suffering or difficulty (your own or others')
  2. Breathe out relief, comfort, or whatever would be helpful
  3. Repeat this process, gradually expanding your circle of compassion
  4. Apply tonglen in daily life when facing challenging situations or emotions

5. Apply the Four Limitless Qualities: Love, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity

As we train in the paramita of patience, we are first of all patient with ourselves. We learn to relax with the restlessness of our energy—the energy of anger, boredom, and excitement.

Cultivating positive qualities. The four limitless qualities—love, compassion, joy, and equanimity—are fundamental aspects of an awakened heart. By cultivating these qualities, we expand our capacity to relate positively to ourselves and others.

Balancing and integrating. Each quality supports and balances the others. Love prevents compassion from becoming overwhelmed, joy keeps us inspired, and equanimity helps us maintain balance in the face of life's ups and downs.

Practices for developing the four limitless qualities:

  • Love: Practice loving-kindness meditation, wishing happiness for yourself and others
  • Compassion: Engage in tonglen practice and acts of kindness
  • Joy: Cultivate gratitude and appreciate others' happiness
  • Equanimity: Reflect on the equality of all beings and practice non-attachment

6. Adopt the Warrior-Bodhisattva Mindset for Fearless Living

The safest and most nurturing place to begin working this way is during sitting meditation. On the cushion, we begin to get the hang of not indulging or repressing and of what it feels like to let the energy just be there.

Cultivating fearlessness. The warrior-bodhisattva path is about developing the courage to face life's challenges with an open heart. It involves staying present with our fears and vulnerabilities while maintaining a sense of compassion and wisdom.

Embracing the journey. This path is not about achieving a perfect state of fearlessness, but about continually working with our fears and limitations. It's a lifelong journey of growth and transformation.

Key aspects of the warrior-bodhisattva mindset:

  • Courage: Willingness to face difficulties and stay present with discomfort
  • Compassion: Cultivating kindness towards oneself and others
  • Wisdom: Developing insight into the nature of reality and our own minds
  • Discipline: Maintaining a consistent practice and commitment to growth
  • Humor: Cultivating a light-hearted approach to life's challenges

7. Use Lojong Slogans to Train the Mind and Cultivate Wisdom

When we catch ourselves grasping at beliefs or thoughts, just see what is. Without calling your belief right or wrong, acknowledge it. See it clearly without judgment and let it go. Come back to the present moment.

Mind training tools. Lojong slogans are pithy sayings that help us train our minds and cultivate wisdom. They serve as reminders to stay present, open-hearted, and compassionate in our daily lives.

Practical wisdom. These slogans offer practical guidance for transforming difficult situations and emotions into opportunities for growth and awakening. They help us shift our perspective and respond to life with greater skill and compassion.

Examples of lojong slogans and their meanings:

  • "Don't be swayed by external circumstances": Maintain inner stability regardless of outer conditions
  • "Be grateful to everyone": Recognize that all experiences and people can teach us something
  • "Always maintain only a joyful mind": Cultivate a positive outlook even in challenging times
  • "Don't expect applause": Act with pure motivation, without seeking recognition or praise
  • "Train in the three difficulties": Recognize, do something different, and aspire to continue practicing

8. Recognize Basic Goodness in Yourself and Others

As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, we feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We deserve something better than resolution: we deserve our birthright, which is the soft spot and open mind that is the wisdom and compassion of bodhichitta.

Innate wholeness. Basic goodness refers to our fundamental nature of awareness, compassion, and wisdom. It's not something we need to create or achieve, but rather something we can uncover and recognize in ourselves and others.

Beyond judgment. Recognizing basic goodness doesn't mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It's about seeing beyond our habitual judgments and connecting with the deeper, more open dimension of our being.

Practices for recognizing basic goodness:

  • Mindfulness meditation: Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment
  • Loving-kindness practice: Cultivating goodwill towards yourself and others
  • Contemplation: Reflecting on the qualities of awareness, compassion, and wisdom
  • Daily reminders: Pause throughout the day to recognize the basic goodness in yourself and those around you

9. Embrace Difficulties as Opportunities for Growth

Wholeheartedness is a precious gift, but no one can actually give it to you. You have to find the path that has heart and then walk it impeccably.

Transformative approach. Instead of seeing difficulties as obstacles to be avoided, we can learn to embrace them as opportunities for growth and awakening. This shift in perspective allows us to engage with life's challenges more skillfully and courageously.

Developing resilience. By facing our difficulties head-on, we develop greater emotional resilience and inner strength. This doesn't mean we seek out hardship, but rather that we learn to work with whatever arises in our lives with openness and curiosity.

Strategies for embracing difficulties:

  • Practice mindfulness to observe your reactions to challenges
  • Use tonglen to transform difficult emotions into compassion
  • Apply lojong slogans to shift your perspective on challenging situations
  • Reflect on past difficulties and recognize how they've contributed to your growth
  • Seek support from teachers, mentors, or a spiritual community when facing major challenges

10. Live with an Open Heart and Let Go of Fixed Ideas

The path is uncharted. It comes into existence moment by moment and at the same time drops away behind us.

Cultivating openness. Living with an open heart means approaching life with curiosity, flexibility, and compassion. It involves letting go of fixed ideas and preconceptions that limit our experience and understanding.

Embracing uncertainty. An open-hearted approach to life requires us to become comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity. Instead of seeking security in rigid beliefs or habitual patterns, we learn to rest in the openness of not knowing.

Practices for cultivating an open heart:

  • Meditation: Develop awareness of thoughts and emotions without clinging
  • Inquiry: Question your assumptions and beliefs with curiosity and openness
  • Compassion: Practice extending kindness to yourself and others, especially in difficult situations
  • Beginner's mind: Approach each moment with fresh eyes, as if experiencing it for the first time
  • Letting go: Practice releasing attachments to fixed ideas, expectations, and outcomes

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.25 out of 5
Average of 7k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Comfortable with Uncertainty receives mostly positive reviews, praised for its accessible Buddhist teachings and practical wisdom. Readers appreciate Chödrön's gentle approach to facing life's challenges and cultivating compassion. Many find the short chapters ideal for daily reflection or meditation. Some critics note the book's superficial treatment of complex topics, while others see it as a valuable introduction to Buddhist concepts. Overall, reviewers recommend it for those seeking spiritual growth and inner peace, though it may be less suitable for complete beginners.

Your rating:

About the Author

Pema Chödrön is an American Buddhist nun in the Tibetan tradition. Born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown, she became a novice nun in 1974 and received full ordination in 1981. Chödrön studied with Lama Chime Rinpoche and Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, considering the latter her root guru. She has served as director of Karma Dzong in Boulder, Colorado, and Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia. Chödrön teaches Buddhism in North America and spends time in solitary retreat. Her work focuses on making Buddhist teachings accessible to Western audiences, emphasizing compassion, mindfulness, and dealing with life's challenges.

Other books by Pema Chödrön

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