Enough

1. Early Life & Washington Dream

I felt a magnetic bond—a sense of premonition—that Washington was my home.

Formative values. Growing up in Pennington, New Jersey, the author was shaped by her family's values, particularly her mother's resilience and work ethic, her grandmother's encouragement of curiosity, and her father's emphasis on mental fortitude and self-sufficiency, despite their complex relationship. The 9/11 attacks ignited a strong sense of patriotism and a desire to serve her country.

Early aspirations. Inspired by her family and a childhood visit to Washington, D.C., the author developed a deep fascination with politics and a clear ambition for public service. She saw Washington as her future home and college as a necessary step to achieve her goal of working there. This early dream fueled her dedication and hard work throughout her education.

Family support. Despite her parents' eventual separation and differing views on government, her mother and chosen father, Paul, provided a stable and loving home. Her aunt Steph and uncle Joe, a police officer and National Guardsman, further nurtured her patriotism and sense of duty, reinforcing her belief in the importance of serving the country.

2. Climbing the Ranks in DC

College was a means to an end for me, so I wanted to do well in my studies in order to get a good job in Washington.

Strategic internships. Recognizing the importance of experience, the author pursued multiple internships on Capitol Hill while in college, including in the offices of Majority Whip Steve Scalise and Senator Ted Cruz. These unpaid positions provided invaluable exposure to the legislative process and helped her build a network, despite the financial strain and personal sacrifices involved.

White House opportunity. Her dedication paid off with a coveted internship in the White House Office of Legislative Affairs (OLA). This role offered a unique vantage point, allowing her to interact directly with members of Congress and observe the intricacies of policymaking and the relationship between the executive and legislative branches.

Building relationships. In OLA, she quickly distinguished herself through her meticulous organization and personable approach. She made an effort to learn about members and staff, fostering relationships that would prove crucial later in her career. This period solidified her ambition to work on Capitol Hill after graduation.

3. Navigating White House Chaos

My internship granted me an invaluable perch in the East Wing.

Entry into OLA. After graduating, the author secured a paid position in the White House OLA, fulfilling her long-held dream. Her role as a liaison between the White House and the House of Representatives placed her in close proximity to power and the daily operations of the administration.

Impeachment focus. The first impeachment inquiry against President Trump over the Ukraine call significantly shifted OLA's focus. The author became deeply involved in coordinating messaging and outreach to House Republicans, working long hours to ensure party unity against impeachment.

Loyalty and dedication. This period tested her dedication, requiring immense effort and personal sacrifice. She viewed herself as a "loyal foot soldier," committed to advancing the president's agenda and navigating the intense political environment, even as she witnessed behaviors that gave her pause.

4. Becoming Chief of Staff's Aide

You’re going to be my eyes and ears.

Mark Meadows' offer. Following the first impeachment acquittal, Mark Meadows became President Trump's chief of staff. Recognizing the author's capabilities and relationships, Meadows recruited her to join his office as a principal aide, a significant promotion that placed her at the heart of the West Wing.

Defining the role. Meadows' instruction for her to be his "eyes and ears" was initially vague but quickly evolved into a demanding position. She became his gatekeeper, shadow, and key point of contact for members of Congress and other administration officials, requiring constant vigilance and presence.

Navigating dynamics. Her new role involved navigating complex relationships, including Meadows' distrust of some existing staff and his evolving relationship with the president. She sought to be a steadying influence and a bridge between different factions, while also grappling with the ethical implications of some of the tasks she was asked to perform.

5. Election Denial & Escalating Pressure

The erratic, to say the least, performances of the campaign’s lawyers and the rhetoric from some of the president’s surrogates were starting to worry me.

Post-election chaos. Following the 2020 election, the White House became consumed by President Trump's efforts to overturn the results. The author witnessed firsthand the disorganized legal challenges, the pressure campaigns on state officials, and the increasing embrace of conspiracy theories by some within the president's circle.

Rallies and messaging. Despite the pandemic and the election outcome, the focus shifted to large campaign rallies aimed at challenging the results and maintaining supporter energy. The author was heavily involved in coordinating these events, often dealing with logistical challenges and the president's fixation on crowd size.

Growing unease. As the rhetoric escalated and the legal avenues failed, the author felt increasing discomfort with the direction of the administration. While initially sympathetic to the idea of challenging results within legal bounds, the embrace of outlandish claims and the pressure on officials raised serious concerns about the integrity of the process.

6. January 6th: The Breaking Point

The rioters are getting close, Mark. Have you talked to the president?

Warnings of violence. Leading up to January 6th, the author became aware of intelligence indicating potential violence at the planned rally and march to the Capitol. She heard reports of weapons being confiscated from attendees but also the president's desire to remove magnetometers to allow armed individuals closer.

President's intent. She testified to the president's explicit knowledge that some rally-goers were armed and his instruction to let them through security, stating, "They aren't here to hurt me." This revealed a chilling prioritization of crowd optics over public safety and legal restrictions.

The Beast incident. A key piece of testimony involved a secondhand account from Tony Ornato about the president's furious reaction in the presidential vehicle ("the Beast") when the Secret Service refused to take him to the Capitol. The president allegedly lunged at the steering wheel and then at the Secret Service agent, Bobby Engel, demanding to be taken to the Capitol.

7. Aftermath & Internal Conflict

My soul feels broken.

Immediate shock. The events of January 6th left the author deeply shaken and disillusioned. Witnessing the attack on the Capitol and the president's delayed and reluctant response created a profound sense of trauma and betrayal.

Questioning loyalty. In the days and weeks that followed, she grappled with the conflict between her past loyalty to President Trump and her growing realization of the damage caused by his actions. The chaos and the president's continued denial of the election results intensified her internal struggle.

Seeking distance. The author sought to distance herself from the immediate aftermath, taking time off and reflecting on her experiences. The prospect of moving to Florida with the former president's team became increasingly fraught as she questioned her role and the direction of Trump's post-presidency.

8. Subpoena & Search for Counsel

I would accrue more than financial debt if I retained one of their attorneys.

Committee investigation. As the House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack began its work, the author anticipated being contacted due to her proximity to Mark Meadows. When she received a subpoena, she immediately recognized the need for legal representation.

Financial constraints. Her search for an attorney was complicated by her limited financial resources. She discovered that retaining independent counsel would be prohibitively expensive, forcing her to consider options she initially wanted to avoid, including seeking assistance from Trump World.

Avoiding Trump World control. Despite the financial pressure, the author was deeply reluctant to accept legal representation funded by Trump World, fearing it would come with stipulations that would compromise her ability to be truthful. She understood that accepting their help would mean sacrificing her independence and voice.

9. Trump World Pressure & Control

And just like that, I was back in the Family.

Assigned counsel. Facing the impossibility of affording independent legal representation, the author was eventually connected with an attorney, Stefan Passantino, through Trump World contacts. His representation came without a formal engagement letter and was implicitly tied to her loyalty to the former president.

Guidance on testimony. Passantino's advice focused on minimizing her testimony and downplaying her knowledge and access. He instructed her to keep answers short, avoid volunteering information, and use phrases like "I don't recall," emphasizing the goal was to get her "in and out" quickly.

Controlling the narrative. This period highlighted the control Trump World sought to exert over witnesses. Passantino's actions, such as discouraging her from refreshing her memory or discussing sensitive topics like the Beast incident, demonstrated an effort to shape her testimony and protect the former president.

10. Finding Independent Counsel

I had rediscovered my moral compass.

Crisis of conscience. Despite the guidance from her Trump World attorney, the author felt increasing guilt and discomfort over her incomplete testimony. The public release of excerpts from her depositions intensified her internal conflict and the realization that she had protected principals over principles.

Seeking a second chance. Motivated by a desire to correct the record and fulfill her civic duty, she reached out to contacts outside of Trump World, including Alyssa Farah and Liz Cheney, to explore the possibility of providing more complete testimony. This required immense courage and a willingness to break from the control exerted by her current legal team.

Finding pro bono representation. Through Liz Cheney's assistance, the author was connected with attorneys Bill Jordan and Jody Hunt at Alston & Bird. They agreed to represent her pro bono, removing the financial barrier that had tied her to Trump World and allowing her to pursue a path of truthfulness and integrity.

11. Testifying: Reclaiming Truth

The country needs to see you, needs to see your courage.

Breaking free. With independent counsel, the author was finally able to provide a full and truthful account of her experiences. She scheduled a fourth interview with the January 6th Committee, meticulously preparing with her new legal team to correct and expand upon her previous testimony.

Live hearing. The committee requested that she testify in a live public hearing, a daunting prospect she initially resisted. Her attorneys and Liz Cheney emphasized the importance of her testimony's impact and the need for the country to hear directly from someone with her access.

Courage under pressure. Despite intense nervousness and the knowledge that her testimony would provoke significant backlash from Trump World, the author chose to testify live. She provided vivid and detailed accounts of key events, including the president's temperament, his knowledge of armed individuals, and the incident in the Beast.

12. The Impact of Speaking Out

I was now free to empower my patriotism again and, as Alex Butterfield had, to reveal the truth rather than be a bystander.

Public reaction. Her live testimony had a dramatic impact, capturing national attention and providing crucial details about the events of January 6th and the president's actions. While praised for her courage by many, she also faced immediate and aggressive attacks on her credibility from Trump and his allies.

Personal cost. Speaking truth to power came at a significant personal cost. She lost friends and faced threats and harassment. Her life was irrevocably changed, forcing her to confront the consequences of her decision and navigate a new reality outside the protective, albeit controlling, sphere of Trump World.

Finding purpose. Despite the challenges, the author found a sense of purpose and liberation in telling her story. By choosing integrity and accountability, she sought to honor her oath and contribute to the historical record, ultimately finding strength in standing for the truth.

Last updated: May 14, 2025