Every Young Man's Battle

1. Sexual purity is a choice and a journey, not an unattainable goal

"God's way is far better than a state-of-the-art GPS navigational system."

Sexual purity is achievable. Despite cultural pressures and personal struggles, maintaining sexual purity is possible through intentional choices and commitment. This journey involves:

• Recognizing that purity is a process, not an instant transformation
• Making daily decisions to honor God with your body and mind
• Developing strategies to overcome temptation and build healthy habits

The path to sexual purity requires persistence, but it leads to greater intimacy with God and more fulfilling relationships with others. Remember that God's design for sexuality is ultimately for our benefit and His glory.

2. Recognize and combat the "bifurcation myth" in your sexual choices

"The bifurcation myth says that you can do what you want as a teenager because after you move into adulthood, it won't matter."

Reject the false divide. Many young people believe their sexual choices during adolescence are disconnected from their adult lives. This myth leads to:

• Rationalizing sexual experimentation and impurity
• Underestimating the long-term consequences of sexual choices
• Delaying the development of sexual integrity

In reality, sexual decisions made in youth significantly impact future relationships, self-esteem, and spiritual growth. Cultivating sexual purity early on builds a strong foundation for a lifetime of healthy sexuality and intimacy with God.

3. Develop a battle plan to guard your eyes and mind against temptation

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Create a strategic defense. Protecting your sexual purity requires a proactive approach:

1. Identify your personal weak spots and triggers
2. Establish clear boundaries and accountability measures
3. Develop specific strategies for common temptation scenarios

Examples of defensive tactics:

• Avoiding explicit media content
• Using internet filters and accountability software
• Practicing the "bouncing eyes" technique (see Key Takeaway 5)
• Memorizing Scripture to combat lustful thoughts

By preparing in advance, you'll be better equipped to face temptation when it arises.

4. Understand the difference between natural sex drive and false sexual pressure

"If we get into sexual sin naturally—just by being male—then how do we get out? Well, we can't eliminate our maleness, and we're sure we don't want to."

Distinguish genuine needs. It's crucial to differentiate between:

1. Natural sexual desires: God-given, biological urges
2. False sexual pressure: Artificially inflated cravings fueled by media, pornography, and lustful thoughts

Understanding this distinction helps in:

• Accepting your sexuality as a gift from God
• Recognizing when desires are being unnaturally amplified
• Developing healthy ways to manage sexual energy

By focusing on starving false sexual pressures while respecting your natural sexuality, you can achieve a balanced approach to sexual purity.

5. Practice "bouncing the eyes" to avoid visual temptations

"When your eyes bounce toward a woman's attributes, they must bounce away immediately."

Train your gaze. The "bouncing eyes" technique is a practical tool for avoiding visual temptations:

1. Recognize potentially tempting sights quickly
2. Immediately redirect your gaze elsewhere
3. Reinforce this habit through consistent practice

Benefits of mastering this skill:

• Reduces exposure to sexually stimulating images
• Helps break the cycle of lustful thoughts
• Demonstrates respect for women as whole persons

With time and persistence, "bouncing the eyes" becomes an automatic response, significantly reducing the power of visual temptations.

6. Take every thought captive to overcome mental sexual impurity

"The defense perimeter of the mind is less like a wall and more like a customs area in an international airport."

Guard your mind. Mental purity is as crucial as physical purity. To achieve it:

1. Recognize impure thoughts quickly
2. Evaluate thoughts against God's standards
3. Reject or reframe thoughts that don't align with purity

Strategies for mental purity:

• Memorize Scripture to counter lustful thoughts
• Practice redirecting your mind to wholesome topics
• Cultivate gratitude and appreciation for non-sexual attributes

By consistently filtering your thoughts, you create a mental environment conducive to sexual purity and spiritual growth.

7. Build authentic relationships and seek accountability for sexual integrity

"Accountability only works when coupled with a firm commitment to win."

Connect for support. Cultivating authentic relationships is crucial for maintaining sexual purity:

1. Find trusted friends or mentors for accountability
2. Join a support group or Bible study focused on sexual integrity
3. Be honest about struggles and victories in your journey

Benefits of accountability:

• Provides encouragement during difficult times
• Offers wisdom and perspective from others' experiences
• Creates a sense of responsibility to others in your commitment to purity

Remember that true accountability requires vulnerability and a genuine desire for growth.

8. Honor others, especially fathers, in your pursuit of sexual purity

"Until you've proven to me that you have honor, I don't even think you have the right to talk to my daughter, let alone hold her hand in the park."

Respect and honor. Recognizing the value others place on purity helps strengthen your own commitment:

• Understand the protective instinct of fathers for their daughters
• Consider how your actions impact the families of those you date
• Treat others with the same respect you'd want for your future spouse or children

By honoring others in your pursuit of purity, you cultivate integrity and earn trust in relationships. This mindset helps create a culture of mutual respect and commitment to sexual purity.

9. Integrate sexuality into a balanced Christian life for true fulfillment

"One of the most difficult assignments you'll ever have is to integrate the sexual person you are with the emotional, spiritual, social, and relational person you can and will be."

Holistic integration. Achieving sexual purity isn't about suppression, but about incorporating your sexuality into a well-rounded Christian life:

1. Recognize sexuality as a God-given aspect of your identity
2. Develop a healthy understanding of sex within God's design
3. Cultivate non-sexual aspects of relationships and personal growth

Benefits of integration:

• Reduces the power of sexual temptation by putting it in perspective
• Enhances overall spiritual and emotional maturity
• Prepares for a fulfilling marital sexual relationship in the future

By viewing sexuality as part of your whole person, you can pursue purity without unhealthy fixation or shame.

Last updated: November 23, 2024