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Face the Music

Face the Music

A Life Exposed
by Paul Stanley 2014 485 pages
4.12
4k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. From insecurity to stardom: Paul Stanley's journey with KISS

I realized it wasn't about what I could buy with the money. It was about what I didn't have to do—simply put, money gives you the ability to stop worrying about money.

Overcoming insecurities. Born with a deformed ear and partial deafness, Paul Stanley struggled with self-esteem issues throughout his childhood and early adulthood. These insecurities shaped his personality and drove him to seek validation through music and performance.

Formation of KISS. Stanley's partnership with Gene Simmons led to the creation of KISS, a band that would revolutionize rock and roll with their theatrical performances and iconic makeup. The band became a vehicle for Stanley to express himself and overcome his inner demons.

Rise to fame. KISS's unique blend of hard rock and visual spectacle catapulted them to stardom in the mid-1970s. Stanley found himself living out his rock and roll fantasies, experiencing the adulation of fans and the excesses of fame. However, his newfound success didn't immediately erase his deep-seated insecurities.

2. The power of image and persona in rock and roll

The makeup was armor. It protected me.

Creating alter egos. KISS's use of makeup and costumes allowed each member to create a larger-than-life persona. For Stanley, the "Starchild" character became a shield behind which he could hide his insecurities and project confidence.

Visual impact. The band's striking visual appearance set them apart from other rock acts and became a crucial part of their appeal. Their elaborate stage shows, complete with pyrotechnics and levitating drum kits, created an unforgettable experience for fans.

Marketing and merchandising. KISS's image lent itself perfectly to merchandising, leading to an unprecedented range of products bearing the band's likeness. This savvy marketing approach helped cement KISS's place in popular culture and generate significant income beyond music sales.

3. Navigating success and tension within KISS

Being lied to and having my role and the role of others diminished and even negated was not only selfish, it was unkind. It hurt.

Internal conflicts. Despite their public image of unity, KISS experienced significant internal tensions, particularly between Stanley and Simmons and the other original members, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. These conflicts often stemmed from differences in work ethic, substance abuse issues, and disagreements over creative control.

Leadership challenges. As the band's success grew, Stanley found himself increasingly taking on a leadership role, often at odds with Simmons' business-focused approach. This dynamic created friction but also drove the band forward.

Personnel changes. The departure of Frehley and Criss in the early 1980s marked a turning point for KISS. Stanley and Simmons had to navigate the challenges of replacing key members while maintaining the band's identity and success.

4. The ups and downs of KISS's musical evolution

We weren't going to get to the level of the previous lineup, or any previous lineup, honestly, but there was now a bit of chemistry. We had a bit of that ragtag feel like we'd had in the early years.

Experimentation and backlash. KISS's attempts to evolve their sound in the late 1970s and early 1980s, with albums like "Dynasty" and "Music from 'The Elder'," met with mixed reactions from fans and critics. These creative detours highlighted the challenges of balancing artistic growth with fan expectations.

Unmasking and resurgence. The decision to remove their makeup in 1983 marked a new era for KISS. While initially successful, this period also brought new challenges as the band tried to compete in the changing landscape of 1980s rock music.

Return to form. The 1990s saw KISS gradually return to their hard rock roots, culminating in the successful "Revenge" album and tour. This period demonstrated the band's ability to adapt while staying true to their core sound.

5. Reunion tours: Rekindling the magic and facing new challenges

We should wake up every day and thank whatever God we believe in for what we are experiencing.

Fan excitement. The 1996 reunion of the original KISS lineup generated immense excitement among fans, leading to sold-out shows and a resurgence of interest in the band. This period allowed Stanley to revisit and appreciate the band's legacy with a new perspective.

Personal and professional challenges. While the reunion tours were hugely successful, they also brought back old tensions and introduced new ones. Stanley had to navigate the challenges of working with Frehley and Criss again, dealing with their personal issues and diminished musical abilities.

Balancing nostalgia and progress. The reunion era forced KISS to grapple with the balance between honoring their past and moving forward as a band. This tension would continue to shape the group's decisions in the years that followed.

6. Personal growth and relationships amidst fame

I wanted validation. Instead, I had to explain to her all the details about the car, how the 320SL was the same body and interior as a 500SL but that it had a six-cylinder engine instead of a V-8, which made no difference for the way she used her car around town. But as I began to explain all this, I suddenly changed my mind.

Romantic struggles. Despite his fame and success, Stanley struggled to form lasting romantic relationships. His marriage to actress Pam Bowen was marked by communication issues and a growing sense of disconnection.

Fatherhood as transformation. The birth of Stanley's son, Evan, in 1994 marked a profound shift in his perspective on life and his sense of purpose. Fatherhood provided a new source of fulfillment and helped him confront some of his long-standing emotional issues.

Therapy and self-reflection. Throughout his career, Stanley engaged in therapy to address his childhood traumas and ongoing insecurities. This process of self-reflection and growth played a crucial role in his personal development and ability to navigate the challenges of fame.

7. The lasting legacy of KISS and Paul Stanley's reflections

I was overwhelmed by a sense of gratitude.

Cultural impact. KISS's influence extended far beyond music, shaping popular culture and inspiring generations of fans and musicians. Stanley's role in creating and maintaining this legacy is a source of pride and reflection.

Musical theater aspirations. Stanley's interest in musical theater, culminating in his role in "Phantom of the Opera," demonstrated his desire to grow as an artist and explore new creative avenues beyond KISS.

Lessons learned. Looking back on his career, Stanley gained valuable insights into the nature of fame, the music industry, and personal growth. His journey from an insecure youth to a rock icon offers lessons in perseverance, self-discovery, and the power of artistic expression.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.12 out of 5
Average of 4k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Face the Music receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising Paul Stanley's honesty and vulnerability. Many find his journey from insecurity to self-acceptance inspiring. Fans appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at KISS, though some feel Stanley is too critical of bandmates. The book is lauded for its depth, exploring themes of family, fame, and personal growth. While a few readers found it self-absorbed, most agree it's well-written and engaging. Overall, it's considered one of the best rock autobiographies, offering insight into both KISS and Stanley's personal life.

Your rating:

About the Author

Paul Stanley is best known as the guitarist, co-lead vocalist, and frontman of the iconic rock band KISS. Born with a congenital deformity affecting his right ear, Stanley overcame early challenges to become a successful musician, songwriter, and performer. He co-founded KISS in the early 1970s, adopting the "Starchild" persona that would become his trademark. Beyond music, Stanley is also an accomplished painter. His contributions to rock music were recognized when KISS was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014. Stanley's autobiography, Face the Music, offers insights into his personal journey and the band's history.

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