Fight Back With Joy

1. Joy is a Weapon, Not Just a Feeling

More than whimsy, joy is a weapon we use to fight life’s battles.

Joy's true power. The author initially viewed joy as a pleasant byproduct of a good life, like a bonus item. However, facing a life-threatening cancer diagnosis revealed joy's true nature: a dynamic, forceful weapon for confronting adversity. It's not a passive emotion but an active choice and strategy.

Fighting with joy. Choosing joy doesn't deny hardship; it acknowledges and faces it head-on. This perspective shift allows one to size circumstances according to God's character rather than sizing God's character according to circumstances. It's a declaration that darkness will not win.

Defiant joy. Practicing defiant joy means embracing a reality deeper than current suffering and awakening to one's identity as a beloved, joyful child of God. This weapon empowers individuals to rise above challenges, transforming the fight itself into an act of faith and resilience.

2. Relationships Are Living, Breathing Gifts of Joy

Friends are living, breathing gifts of joy.

Conduits of refreshment. In the midst of crisis, people can be powerful conduits of joy and deep refreshment. The author found that surrounding herself with safe and compassionate friends breathed life into her, providing reasons to laugh, lifting her with generosity, and distracting her from darkness.

The Philemon effect. Like Philemon refreshed the hearts of God's people, friends who stand by you in battle offer courage and comfort. They don't just sympathize; they enter in and help carry the weight, becoming incarnate reminders of God's fierce love and providing a sense of "withness."

Embracing connection. Though tempted to withdraw, opening her heart to those God sent brought unexpected joy. These relationships, whether from long-time friends or new acquaintances met in the midst of the struggle, grounded her and kept her going, offering glimpses into the holy.

3. Acceptance, Adaptation, and Dependence Lead to Contentment

For Paul, accepting his circumstances is the secret to being content in them.

The journey to contentment. When life constricts due to illness, financial loss, or other limitations, the natural tendency is to resist or deny. The author learned, like the apostle Paul in prison, that accepting circumstances is the first step toward contentment, freeing attention from what's lost to what's possible.

Adapt and depend. Once circumstances are accepted, the next step is adaptation – reorganizing life to move forward despite limitations. This isn't self-sufficiency but a deeper dependence on Christ, who becomes the source of strength in weakness.

• Acceptance: Acknowledging helplessness, loosening grip.
• Adaptation: Reorganizing life to move forward.
• Dependence: Turning to Christ as the source of strength.

Magnified opportunities. When life shrinks, opportunities for joy are magnified. Forced to reorder priorities, the author found herself focusing on essentials and noticing "everyday commas" – small moments of joy in simple things, leading to greater intentionality and a rediscovery of God as Sustainer.

4. Mourning Is a River That Carries Us to Joy

Mourning is a river that carries us to joy.

Grief's necessary flow. The emotional response to loss, even something seemingly temporary like losing hair during chemo, can be profound. The author realized the need to mourn the innumerable losses brought by illness, recognizing that grief is not the antithesis of joy but a necessary pathway.

Ancient wisdom. Studying Jewish mourning rites provided a "theology in action" for processing pain. Practices like aninut (deep grief) and keriah (tearing garments) offered sanctioned expressions of anguish, anger, and confusion, validating the spectrum of emotions felt during loss.

• Aninut: Time for deep grief, free from everyday demands.
• Keriah: Tearing garments as a symbolic expression of a torn heart.

Healing through tears. Just as a river smooths stones and flushes debris, the river of mourning washes away pain, ingratitude, and immaturity. Allowing tears to flow, even when it feels like emptying oneself, is crucial for breathing joy more deeply. Joy and sorrow coexist, and mourning well leads toward healing and wholeness.

5. Celebration Is a Discipline, Even in Suffering

Celebration sometimes requires hard work.

Merrymaking's power. When life knocks you down, merrymaking boosts you back up. The author learned that celebration, even in the midst of pain and difficult circumstances, infuses strength and hope, poking holes in the darkness until light breaks through.

God's rhythm of party. The Bible reveals God loves a good party, commanding Israelites to celebrate his goodness and provision throughout the year. Jesus attended and performed miracles at celebrations, and the Bible concludes with a giant dinner party. Celebration reorients us toward God's presence and faithfulness.

Practicing abundance. Throwing a party in a trial means choosing active expressions of joy, like bringing snacks to hospital staff, wearing bright colors, or finding humor. These acts are outward expressions of inward trust in God's ability to meet needs and expand our capacity to enjoy and obey God, even in scarcity.

6. Joy Has a Side No One Talks About: Rejoicing When It Makes No Sense

Fighting back with joy rarely makes sense.

Irrational joy. The author faced overwhelming side effects and the devastating news of her father's cancer diagnosis shortly after her own. In moments of complete exhaustion and despair, she discovered that choosing to rejoice when it makes no sense is precisely when it matters most.

Habakkuk's example. Like the prophet Habakkuk, who chose to rejoice in God even when the fig tree didn't bud and the fields produced no food, we can choose to praise God based on his character and ability to save, not on present conditions. This isn't a results-based faith but a defiant act of trust.

Cultivating faithfulness. Rejoicing in suffering doesn't always make you feel better immediately; sometimes it opens a floodgate of tears. However, these microscopic offerings cement commitment to follow God in anything, cultivating a defiant joy, the habit of worship, and the discipline of faithfulness fortified in the storms.

7. Boldly Ask God for What You Need to Survive

Miraculous transformation begins with one question from God: “What do you want Me to do for you?”

Achsah's audacious request. Exiled to a difficult "desert" of illness, the author found inspiration in Achsah, who boldly asked her father for springs of water in the Negev land she was given. This story reminds us we can petition God for what we need to survive and thrive in challenging circumstances.

Praying for springs. Asking for "springs of water" in the desert is a prayer to discover the fullness of life even amidst trouble. It's not about asking for wealth or treating God like a vending machine, but asking Christ, the Living Water, to replenish and grow us in the wilderness.

God's generous response. The author's prayer for springs led to unexpected refreshment – perfect timing of encouraging messages, increased gratitude, deep sleep, and even front-row tickets to a comedy show. God may not answer in the way expected, but he responds with droplets of grace, splashes of love, and dribbles of mercy, providing the sustenance needed to survive.

8. Giving Joy Away Is a Powerful Way to Receive It

It’s more blessed to give than to receive.

The boomerang effect. Jesus' teaching that it's more blessed to give than receive is not a magical formula but a call to radical faith dependent on God's provision. As we receive divine gifts like grace and joy, passing them to others causes them to ricochet back, filling us as we give.

Becoming a joy giver. When the author's own joy reserves were depleted, she felt called to become a joy giver. Taking a leap of faith, she offered red balloons (symbols of joy) to others in the infusion center, despite her own fear and exhaustion.

Mysterious replenishment. As her balloon bouquet shrank, God filled her with an unmistakable sense of blessedness and gratitude. Giving joy away, even when you don't feel you possess it, is one of the fastest ways to receive it, lifting you up as you lift others.

9. Joy Involves Both "What If God?" and "But If Not!"

Joy asks “What if God?” and declares “But if not!”

The tension of faith. Facing the possibility that chemotherapy might not work, the author prayed for "zero" cancer cells, an expectant "What if God?" This bold prayer for a miracle was coupled with the quiet resolve of "But if not!" – trusting God's plan even if rescue didn't come in the desired way.

Biblical examples. The Bible is filled with stories of both miraculous rescue ("What if God?") and faithful endurance without earthly deliverance ("But if not!").

• "What if God?": Jairus's daughter raised, the woman with the hemorrhage healed.
• "But if not!": Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego's commitment before the furnace, Abraham, Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus himself facing death.

Sturdy resolve. Joy means holding onto hope in God regardless of the outcome. It's a sturdy resolve to entrust oneself wholly to God, knowing he is present in both the miraculous rescues and the furnaces of suffering. Praying for zero is an act of faith, but accepting the "but if not" is profound trust.

10. Forgiveness Heals the Deepest Wounds

Joy expands with every “I forgive,” “I’m sorry,” and “thank you.”

Wounds from friendly fire. The author experienced deep pain not just from illness but from the silence and abandonment of friends who disappeared during her crisis. These heart wounds, often more painful than physical scars, cut to the core of our need for connection.

Jesus' example. Jesus, betrayed and abandoned by his closest friends and followers, responded with continued love, service, and forgiveness, even praying for those who crucified him. His life demonstrates the power of choosing love over bitterness.

The path to healing. Making lists of those who hurt her, forgiving them aloud, and offering blessings over their names began the healing process. Recognizing her own failures and reaching out to apologize to those she had neglected, and expressing gratitude to those who stayed, expanded her capacity for joy and mended relationships.

11. God's Fierce Love Is the Source of Joy

If joy emanates out of the abiding sense of God’s fierce love for us, then celebration asks us to take action by practicing abundance in times of scarcity.

Foundation of joy. At its core, joy emanates from the abiding sense of God's fierce love. This love is not passive but a feisty, fiery pledge to grow us into Christ's likeness, guarding, protecting, and strengthening us through all circumstances.

Created and destined for joy. We are founded in joy (Genesis 1), created for joy (imbued with the capacity for delight), and destined for joy (Isaiah's promise of new heavens/earth filled with gladness). Joy is our heritage, purpose, and destiny, rooted in the relational dance of the Trinity and God's delight in creation and his people.

Embracing the source. Cultivating an awareness of God's fierce love fills our hearts with joy, strengthening our resolve to face any fight knowing God is with and for us. This divine affection empowers us to practice abundance (celebration) even in scarcity, trusting God's character over our circumstances.

12. Joy Can Be Found in Unexpected Places

I never imagined I’d find joy in waiting rooms, MRI machines, wig shops, and hiking trails.

Beyond expectations. The author's journey revealed that joy flows from unsuspecting and often daunting places, not just positive experiences. It's illogical to think great adversity could lead to a fuller life, yet the suffering cracked open her heart to more pain and more joy than she knew possible.

Gifts in the darkness. While not counting cancer a gift, the author discovered gifts along the way: fortified friendships, a deeper relationship with her husband, spiritual enrichment through God's presence in affliction, and increased gratitude. Even small moments like a spider web display or a floating red balloon became reminders of God's goodness.

A lifelong fight. Fighting back with joy is a continuous process, a collection of tools for battles ahead. The journey taught the author to practice defiant joy, rooted in her heritage, purpose, and destiny, finding glimmers of joy even in the midst of tears and embracing unknowing with resolve.

Last updated: June 19, 2025