Gentle Writing Advice

1. Writing is Hard, But You'll Be Okay.

You're going to be okay.

It's meant to be hard. Writing is inherently difficult work, like building a universe word by word. Some days will be easy, others incredibly tough, and that's normal for everyone, from beginners to seasoned pros. Don't let the struggle convince you you're doing it wrong.

Persevere through difficulty. Even in challenging times, writing offers opportunities for escape, processing emotions, or simply enjoying vicarious thrills. It's okay to not be okay, and it's okay if writing feels harder sometimes.

You can do this. Whether you write a lot or a little, regularly or erratically, progress is progress. Believe in your ability to persevere through the difficulty and hang on to the rodeo bull of the writing life.

2. Your Process is Personal and Changes.

When your process fails, change your process.

No single right way. There's no universal formula for writing; what works for one writer, or even for you on one book, may not work for the next. Your process is subjective and unique to you.

Mythologizing process is dangerous. Don't treat your current method as rigid dogma. When your established process stops yielding results, recognize it's time to adapt and try something new, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Embrace the flow. Writing is like a river; sometimes you steer, sometimes you let it carry you. Be flexible, experiment, and allow your approach to change as you and each new project evolve.

3. Self-Care is Essential, Not an Excuse.

Self-care is not avoiding the arena entirely.

Protect your creative heart. The writing life involves vulnerability, rejection, and isolation. Practice self-care to protect yourself from burnout and despair.

Care for mind and body. Self-care includes rewarding effort, setting boundaries (like avoiding toxic social media or reviews), and maintaining physical health. Treat your body like a valuable machine that needs upkeep.

Find the balance. Self-care is crucial, but don't let it become an excuse to avoid the work entirely. It's about preparing yourself for the challenge, not hiding from it. Balance urgency with rest.

4. Day Jobs Are Not Shameful.

You shouldn’t be ashamed of having a day job.

Starvation hinders art. The romantic myth of the starving artist is dangerous and serves those who would exploit you. Worrying about basic needs makes creative work harder, not nobler.

Day jobs provide stability. Having a steady income allows you to pay bills, eat, and have a roof over your head, which are crucial for sustained creative effort. It provides the security needed to take creative risks.

Day jobs can motivate. Working a job you don't love can provide the impetus to pursue writing in your spare time. Many successful artists have day jobs; it's a normal part of the journey.

5. Know Thyself as a Writer.

You are the one original thing that you can bring to the page.

Originality comes from you. Ideas and plots are common, but your unique perspective, experiences, anxieties, and emotions are entirely original. This is your greatest asset as a writer.

Navigate the dark forest. Writing feels like being lost in a dark forest. Knowing yourself – your quirks, fears, and strengths – helps you navigate this uncertainty, recover from setbacks, and understand your own creative rhythms.

Practice mindfully. Knowing yourself isn't automatic; it's built through active engagement with writing and reading. Pay attention to what works for you, what you like, and what frustrates you.

6. Writing "Rules" Are Just Suggestions.

So break the rules if you must.

Rules are preferences, not laws. Many common writing "rules" (like avoiding adverbs, using only "said," or never using prologues) are subjective preferences or trends, not universal truths. They often have exceptions.

Question everything. Be suspicious of anything presented as absolute truth in writing advice. Understand why a suggestion exists, but don't be afraid to challenge it if it doesn't serve your story.

Embrace narrative chaos. Stories thrive on disruption and breaking norms. As a writer, allowing yourself to break perceived rules can lead to more interesting and unique work.

7. You Are Not Alone: Find Your Community.

Other writers are your community.

Writing is isolating. The act of writing is often solitary, and the publishing world can feel lonely and bewildering. Connecting with other writers combats this isolation.

Find understanding and support. Other writers uniquely understand the challenges and joys of the craft and business. They can offer empathy, advice, and celebration in ways non-writers often cannot.

Build healthy relationships. Seek out supportive, non-toxic connections. Community is about mutual respect and understanding, not transactional networking.

8. Genre is Made Up; Write What You Want.

Genre is just some shit somebody made up.

Genre is for marketing. Genre labels are primarily tools for bookstores and publishers, not rigid creative boundaries. They are often fluid and subjective.

Blend and experiment. Don't feel confined to one genre or its tropes. Readers and writers increasingly enjoy genre mash-ups. Write the story that excites you, regardless of how it might be categorized.

Trust your instincts. Don't ask permission to write the story in your heart. Focus on making the story work well, regardless of its genre elements. A good story has fundamental structures, like dolphin finger bones, regardless of its outward form.

9. Have Fun and Play on the Page.

You need to have more fun in your writing.

Writing should be enjoyable. Beyond the goal of publishing, remember why you started writing: because you like it. Don't let pressure or expectations steal the joy of creation.

Experiment and explore. Treat the page as a playground. Mess around, try weird things, write silly stories or experiments. This playful exploration is vital for learning and discovering your unique voice.

Focus on the process. Like a child learning to walk or playing a game, the initial drive comes from intrinsic enjoyment, not future rewards. Reconnect with the simple pleasure of putting words down.

10. Care Less (But Not Zero Fucks).

You need to learn to care less.

Too much pressure paralyzes. Overthinking and excessive worry about writing can make it impossible, like trying to consciously control breathing or walking. Release the pressure of needing to be perfect or instantly successful.

Lighten your load. Don't let external expectations or your own perfectionism weigh you down. Discard the "truckload of fucks" that hinder your progress.

Care just enough. You need to care about the work to do it, but not so much that it crushes you. Find the balance where caring propels you forward without causing paralysis.

11. Embrace Failure, Doubt, and Block.

Failure is magic.

Negativity can be normal. Feelings like self-doubt, Impostor Syndrome, and writer's block are common and not always detrimental. Like native species, they can be part of a healthy creative ecosystem.

Learn from setbacks. Failure is an essential teacher, providing lessons written in experience. Rejection is normal in publishing and often subjective, not a personal indictment.

Quitting can be progress. Sometimes, walking away from a project or opportunity is necessary to find the right path forward. It's okay to quit things that aren't working, as long as you keep moving towards what does.

12. Your Stories Matter.

Your stories matter.

Art is vital. Stories are fundamental to human experience, shaping understanding, providing escape, and acting as resistance or optimism. Your voice has value and contributes to this.

Find your reason. Whether complex (connecting with others, processing reality) or simple (because you want to), knowing why you write fuels perseverance.

Keep telling them. Even when broken or lost, your stories are worth telling. Go slow, be erratic, be yourself. The world needs your unique narrative voice.

Last updated: May 19, 2025