Girl, Stop Apologizing

1. Embrace Your Ambition and Stop Apologizing for Your Dreams

"Ambition is not a dirty word."

Redefine ambition. Ambition is simply a strong desire to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work. It's not inherently selfish or negative. Embrace your ambitions, whether they're related to career, personal growth, or making a difference in the world.

Stop apologizing for your dreams. Society often tells women to downplay their ambitions, but this mindset holds you back. Recognize that your dreams and goals are valid, regardless of what others think. Don't let anyone else's expectations or judgments dictate your aspirations. Instead, own your ambitions and pursue them unapologetically.

2. Let Go of Excuses and Take Ownership of Your Life

"You are never, ever supposed to admit you don't like certain parts of parenting. It's an unspoken rule."

Identify and confront your excuses. Common excuses include lack of time, fear of failure, feeling inadequate, or believing something has already been done before. Recognize these as self-imposed limitations, not actual barriers to success.

Take responsibility for your choices. Instead of blaming circumstances or others, focus on what you can control. Make intentional decisions about how you spend your time and energy. Remember, you have the power to shape your life and pursue your goals, regardless of external factors.

Common excuses to let go of:

• "I don't have time"
• "I'm not good enough"
• "It's already been done"
• "What will others think?"
• "I can't be successful and be a good mom/partner/friend"

3. Adopt Behaviors That Set You Up for Success

"If everything is important, nothing is important."

Prioritize ruthlessly. Focus on what truly matters to you and align your actions with your goals. Learn to say no to activities and commitments that don't serve your priorities.

Develop supportive habits. Create routines and behaviors that reinforce your goals and values. This might include:

• Waking up earlier to work on personal projects
• Setting boundaries with your time and energy
• Asking for help when you need it
• Surrounding yourself with supportive people
• Taking care of your physical and mental health

Remember, success isn't just about what you do, but also about the foundation you build to support your efforts.

4. Develop Essential Skills to Achieve Your Goals

"Confidence is the belief that you can count on yourself—that you trust your gut in the place you find yourself in."

Cultivate confidence. Confidence is a skill that can be developed, not an innate trait. Build it through:

• Focusing on your strengths and accomplishments
• Taking on challenges and learning from failures
• Surrounding yourself with supportive people
• Acting confident even when you don't feel it

Master planning and effectiveness. Learn to create clear road maps for your goals and focus on results rather than busy work. Develop the ability to break down big dreams into actionable steps.

Practice persistence. Understand that achieving significant goals often takes time and involves setbacks. Cultivate the grit to keep going, even when progress seems slow or obstacles arise.

5. Create a Clear Road Map to Your Dreams

"You cannot get to where you want to go if you don't know where you are."

Start with the end in mind. Clearly define your ultimate goal or dream. Visualize what success looks like in detail.

Identify your starting point. Honestly assess your current situation, including your strengths, weaknesses, resources, and limitations.

Map out the journey. Break down the path between your starting point and goal into manageable steps:

1. Identify 3 major guideposts (significant milestones)
2. Create mile markers (smaller, actionable steps) between each guidepost
3. Focus on what needs to be done, not how difficult it might be

Remember, a road map provides direction but allows for flexibility as you progress towards your goal.

6. Build Confidence Through Action and Mindset

"If you wait until you're in front of your naysayer to decide how to respond to them, you're screwed."

Take action to build confidence. Confidence grows through experience and accomplishment. Push yourself to try new things and take on challenges, even if you don't feel fully prepared.

Prepare for challenges. Anticipate potential obstacles and criticism. Develop strategies to handle them before they arise, such as:

• Rehearsing responses to common criticisms
• Reminding yourself of your why and your accomplishments
• Surrounding yourself with supportive people

Cultivate a growth mindset. View challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than threats to your abilities. Embrace the idea that you can develop new skills and improve through effort and practice.

7. Persist in Pursuing Your Goals, No Matter How Long It Takes

"It never went as fast as I wanted it to, and if I had given up because I hadn't achieved my goal by a certain date, I wouldn't have achieved any of the things you know me for today."

Embrace the journey. Understand that significant achievements often take time and involve setbacks. Focus on consistent progress rather than arbitrary deadlines.

Learn from setbacks. View failures and obstacles as learning opportunities. Use them to refine your approach and strengthen your resolve.

Celebrate small wins. Recognize and appreciate the progress you make along the way. This helps maintain motivation during long-term pursuits.

Stay committed to your vision. Remember that pursuing your dreams is not a temporary endeavor but a lifestyle change. Your goals should shape your daily choices and habits for the long term.

8. Focus on Effectiveness, Not Just Productivity

"Replace your to-do list with a results list."

Prioritize results over busy work. Instead of focusing on completing tasks, concentrate on achieving meaningful outcomes that move you closer to your goals.

Create a results list. For each work session, clearly define the specific results you want to achieve. For example, instead of "work on manuscript," set a goal like "write 2,000 words."

Eliminate distractions. Identify and remove activities that feel productive but don't contribute to your desired results. This might include:

• Excessive social media use
• Over-planning without action
• Reworking completed tasks unnecessarily

Regularly assess your progress. Regularly review your efforts to ensure you're making tangible progress towards your goals. Adjust your approach as needed to stay on track and maintain effectiveness.

Last updated: October 10, 2024