God Wears Lipstick

1. Life's Purpose: To Transform Desire into Sharing

The whole purpose of the study of Kabbalah is to enlighten you about these nonphysical laws for the sake of your receiving fulfillment.

Understanding desire. We are all driven by desires—for happiness, love, security, and more. Kabbalah, meaning "to receive," teaches us how to truly receive lasting fulfillment by understanding the spiritual rules governing life. This fulfillment isn't merely physical; it's about actualizing our full potential and connecting to a deeper, non-physical energy.

The original creation. Before creation, there was the Light (infinite sharing, the Creator) and the Vessel (infinite receiver, the original soul). This perfect harmony broke when the Vessel, imbued with the Light's nature, developed a desire to share rather than just receive, leading to a cosmic impasse. This "Bread of Shame"—receiving without earning—caused the Light to withdraw, shattering the Vessel in what Kabbalah calls the "Big Bang," creating our physical universe and all human souls.

Our true mission. Our existence in this world is not just to receive, but to transform our inherent "Desire to Receive for the Self Alone" into a "Desire to Receive for the Sake of Sharing." This transformation is our ultimate purpose, allowing us to reconnect with the Creator's Light and regain our original wholeness, becoming givers like the Light itself.

2. The Universe's Dual Nature: Male and Female Energy

Two parallel forces exist in the universe: Light and Vessel, sun and moon, positive and negative, sharing and receiving, yin and yang, male and female.

Parallel systems. Everything in the universe operates through two parallel forces: the Light (masculine, sharing, Zeir Anpin) and the Vessel (feminine, receiving, Malchut). Just as the sun gives light and the moon reflects it, or electricity flows but needs a bulb to manifest, these forces are interdependent. The male energy is abstract and unformed, while the female energy gives it shape and form.

The Vessel's role. The Vessel, representing the feminine, is crucial because Light cannot exist in a void; it needs a container to be perceived and utilized. This is why women are seen as the "Light of the house," determining the capacity for Light to enter. Without the Vessel, the outpouring of good remains uncontained and unmanifested, like water without a cup or electricity without an appliance.

Beyond gender. While these principles manifest as male and female in humanity, they are cosmic forces. Every soul contains both male and female aspects, and our physical world (Malchut) is the realm where these energies are brought into tangible form. Understanding this duality helps us appreciate the complementary nature of all things and the necessity of both forces for creation and fulfillment.

3. Unlocking Light Through Restriction and Proactive Action

The resistance, the push-back, is what creates the light.

The light bulb principle. Just as a light bulb needs a filament to resist the flow of electricity and create light, our spiritual fulfillment comes from "restriction." This means resisting our natural "Desire to Receive for the Self Alone" (the "me, me, me" mentality) and transforming it into a "Desire to Receive for the Sake of Sharing." This resistance is the "third column" that reveals the Light.

Proactive living. When we act reactively—indulging in instant gratification, laziness, or a victim mentality—we disconnect from the Light and invite chaos. To reconnect, we must be proactive: giving, creating, and initiating. This means consciously pushing back against our baser urges and taking responsibility for our lives, rather than complaining or expecting others to solve our problems.

Consciousness is key. Our consciousness determines the size of our Vessel and how much Light we can receive. If our focus is solely on ourselves, our Vessel remains small. But if we expand our consciousness to care for others and the world, our capacity for Light grows immensely. This proactive effort, though challenging, is the only path to lasting fulfillment and control over our physical universe.

4. Relationships as Catalysts for Spiritual Growth

The purpose of our relationships is to help us get to our destination.

No coincidences. Kabbalah teaches that everything in our lives, especially our relationships, happens for a reason. Challenges are not random but are divinely designed opportunities for spiritual growth and transformation. The more difficult an interaction, the greater its potential to reveal Light and help us mend our ways.

Mirrors of the soul. The people we attract into our lives, particularly intimate partners, often reflect our unresolved issues or "tikune"—the aspects of ourselves we need to correct. Instead of blaming others for relationship problems, we are encouraged to look inward and take responsibility for our own reactions and patterns. When we change ourselves, the external situation often shifts spontaneously.

A shared journey. Viewing relationships from this perspective transforms conflict into collaboration. We realize that we and our partners are not distinct individuals but aspects of a single soul working on a common project: spiritual union. This understanding fosters tolerance, compassion, and a willingness to work through difficulties, knowing that every interaction is a chance to grow closer to the Light.

5. Cultivating Compassion and Understanding in Connection

Tolerance means seeing the negative aspects of your partner’s personality and being able to accept him, flaws and all, just as you would expect him to accept you.

The essence of tolerance. Tolerance is a cornerstone of loving relationships, standing in direct opposition to judgment and rejection. It means accepting others, including their flaws, without trying to "fix" them. This highest form of respect allows for flexibility and growth, enabling more love to enter our relationships.

Astrology as a tool. Kabbalistic astrology helps us understand the innate temperaments influenced by planetary configurations at birth. Knowing our partner's astrological sign can foster compassion, as it explains their natural inclinations. For example, understanding a Leo's need for attention or a Cancer's sensitivity allows us to work with their nature rather than against it, improving communication and reducing conflict.

The art of listening. Compassionate listening is vital for developing tolerance. It means stepping outside ourselves, setting the intention to truly hear and feel another's spirit and energy, without judgment. This deep listening, aided by prayer and mindfulness, allows us to relate to others on their level, fostering safety and genuine expression, and inviting positive energy into our interactions.

6. The Power of Interdependence and Unconditional Sharing

Fulfillment doesn’t emanate from feeding selfish desires. Fulfillment doesn’t come from feeling entitled or dependent. Fulfillment doesn’t emerge from being an effect, a victim. Where does it come from? Unconditional sharing.

Beyond codependency. Healthy relationships are interdependent, not codependent. Unlike codependent dynamics driven by manipulation and selfish needs, interdependence means two individuals are self-sufficient, like the sun and moon, activating the universe together. Each person strives to be their own "Light," contributing to a shared journey of spiritual growth.

The sharing circuit. Unconditional sharing is the key to bringing Light into any relationship. When we reverse the flow from taking to giving, we create a continuous circuit of loving energy. This transforms our essence into that of the Creator, bringing true joy, vitality, and protection into our lives and relationships. Without sharing, Light energy becomes stagnant, leading to unfulfillment.

Honesty and motive. True honesty, a quality of the Light, involves being truthful about our own motives, even if it means confronting uncomfortable truths about ourselves. While sometimes a "white lie" for peace is permissible, hiding things out of fear or self-interest erodes trust. When we are honest with ourselves and others, we allow clarity to govern our relationships, even if it means letting a shaky structure collapse to build a more authentic one.

7. Embracing Effort, Loss, and Forgiveness for Transformation

Ultimately, it is your greatest challenges that bring the greatest gifts.

The necessity of effort. Spiritual and emotional growth requires consistent effort. We are wired to earn what we receive, and challenges provide the necessary "pressure" to transform us, much like coal becomes a diamond under immense force. Complaining or adopting a victim mentality prevents growth; instead, embracing the struggle with consciousness leads to greater happiness and reward.

Loss as a catalyst. The pain of losing a loved one, whether through death or separation, is a profound spiritual test. Kabbalah teaches that at the soul level, there is no true separation; death is merely a return to the Creator. Such painful endings are often the "jolt" needed to free our spirit and rekindle our awareness of the need to grow, pushing us to examine our own role and learn vital lessons.

The essence of forgiveness. True forgiveness goes beyond intellectual acceptance; it's understanding that there is nothing to truly forgive. Others don't harm us; we hurt ourselves by disconnecting from the Light. Every negative experience is a reminder to let go and trust God, designed to help us remember our connection. Releasing grudges and taking self-responsibility, rather than guilt, liberates us to embrace a brighter future.

8. The Innate Spiritual Advantage of Women

Women are born with tremendous spiritual power, whereas men must earn theirs.

Innate strength. Women possess an inherent spiritual advantage, being physically and intuitively stronger than men. This is why, historically, women were not required to pray as much in some traditions; their connection to the Light was considered more innate. They are the "crown to the man," tasked with ushering Light into the home and manifesting energy.

Eve's legacy and Sarah's power. The biblical story of Eve, interpreted kabbalistically, highlights women's capacity for knowledge, understanding, and building. While Eve's fall brought a curse, the women's refusal to participate in the Golden Calf incident marked a pivotal moment, correcting Eve's initial misstep and elevating women's spiritual status. This event signifies that women completed their correction, while men still need to earn theirs.

Our purpose today. Women are here to help men with their correction and to manifest Light in the world. This doesn't imply superiority but a complementary role. Women's innate drive for partnership and family stems from this soul-level purpose to assist the male aspect of their soul in its journey, ultimately leading to the completion of both halves.

9. The Transformative Power of Cheerfulness

Your smile sends out the message: My heart is open to be a friend, to listen to you, to have empathy for you. Inside of me I have made room for you.

Lightening up. Seeing the universe as a friendly presence allows us to lighten up and improve all our interactions. Complacency, especially with loved ones, is corrosive. Low moods are reactive; consciously restricting them invites Light back, naturally elevating our mood and fostering warmer, more courteous exchanges.

The power of a smile. Smiling is not superficial; it brings Light, reduces stress, and improves health. Studies show positive thoughts strengthen muscles, while negative ones weaken them. Negativity creates "pinholes" in our aura, attracting disease and depression, which is a direct result of disconnection from the Light. Reconnecting through simple acts like smiling can restore health and vitality.

A ripple effect. A genuine smile radiates an open heart, inviting others to share and connect. Conversely, anxiety or fear elicits similar states in those around us. By cultivating a cheerful attitude, we initiate a positive domino effect, encouraging others to extend beyond themselves and contribute to a world filled with shared Light and joy.

Last updated: July 30, 2025