HBR Guide to Getting the Mentoring You Need

1. Sponsorship is a Two-Way Street

A protégé who doesn’t do everything in her power to make her sponsor look smart for backing her is wasting the sponsor’s time.

Mutual Benefit. Sponsorship is most effective when it benefits both the sponsor and the protégé. Sponsors put their reputation on the line, advocating for the protégé's advancement, while protégés demonstrate loyalty, exceptional performance, and a commitment to the sponsor's vision. This creates a mutually beneficial alliance where both parties gain influence and achieve their goals.

Earning Sponsorship. Protégés must earn sponsorship through consistent performance and loyalty. This includes keeping the sponsor informed, delivering exceptional results, and demonstrating a proactive effort. Sponsors look for individuals who are hungry for backing and willing to make the most of the opportunities provided.

Beyond Mentoring. Sponsors go beyond traditional mentoring by offering advocacy, resources, and tactical support. They actively promote the protégé's career, ensuring they are considered for key opportunities and challenging assignments. This active support is crucial for career advancement, especially at mid-career levels.

2. Mentoring Comes in Many Forms

Mentoring can be a one-hour session. We don’t have to escalate it to a six-month or yearlong event.

Developmental Network. Mentoring is not limited to a single, long-term relationship. Instead, individuals should cultivate a developmental network of mentors, each offering unique expertise and perspectives. This network can include peers, colleagues, friends, and even individuals outside the organization.

Various Sources. Mentoring can come from unexpected sources, including junior colleagues who can provide reverse mentoring on new technologies. The key is to be open to learning from anyone who can offer valuable insights, regardless of their position or experience level.

Flexibility and Adaptability. Mentoring relationships can be short-term and focused on specific skills or challenges. This allows individuals to tap into mentoring when needed, without the pressure of maintaining a formal, long-term commitment. This flexibility is essential in today's rapidly changing work environment.

3. Self-Awareness is the Foundation

Taking responsibility for your career starts with an accurate assessment of your current skills and performance.

Accurate Assessment. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses is crucial for career development. This involves meaningful reflection and soliciting feedback from trusted colleagues who can provide honest and constructive criticism.

Identifying Passions. Discovering what you truly enjoy doing is essential for long-term career satisfaction. Aligning your career with your passions provides the strength to overcome challenges and setbacks, and to work the long hours typically needed to reach your full potential.

Continuous Improvement. Self-awareness is an ongoing process that requires continuous feedback and a willingness to confront weaknesses. This proactive approach enables individuals to adapt to new challenges and demands throughout their careers.

4. Excel at What Matters Most

What makes leaders indispensable to their organizations, our data unmistakably show, is not being good at many things but being uniquely outstanding at a few things.

Critical Tasks. Identifying the three or four most important activities that lead to success in your job or business is essential. Focusing on excelling at these critical tasks will drive performance and career advancement.

Prioritization. Promising leaders sometimes lose sight of the connection between critical tasks and overall success. It's important to prioritize these tasks and delegate less central activities to ensure that time and energy are focused on what truly matters.

Distinctive Strengths. Leaders become indispensable by being uniquely outstanding at a few things, allowing their inevitable weaknesses to be overlooked. Developing these strengths requires focusing on complementary skills and engaging in the business equivalent of cross-training.

5. Character and Leadership Distinguish Greatness

Excellent leaders are willing to do things for others without regard to what’s in it for them.

Putting Others First. Character and leadership often make the difference between good performance and great performance. One measure of character is the degree to which you put the interests of your company and colleagues ahead of your own.

Courage to Speak Up. Being a leader also means being willing to express unpopular views. CEOs often want dissenting opinions so they can make better choices. Emerging leaders need to be aware that they can hit a plateau by playing it safe when they should be asserting their heartfelt opinions.

Doing the Right Thing. Doing the right thing is a reward in itself—psychologically in the short run and professionally in the longer run. This approach requires faith that justice will prevail and that acting with integrity will ultimately lead to success.

6. Build a Diverse Mentoring Network

What you need instead is a board of directors for your career, a group of people you consult regularly to get advice and feedback on matters ranging from job performance to career advancement to personal enrichment.

Personal Board of Directors. Instead of relying on a single mentor, create a personal board of directors—a group of individuals with diverse expertise and perspectives who can provide guidance and support. This network should include people who know more than you about something, are better than you at something, or offer different points of view.

Complementary Strengths. The people on your board should make different contributions to your thinking about how to reach your professional and personal goals. Match your weaknesses with others’ strengths, and your strengths with their weaknesses, to create a well-rounded support system.

Reciprocal Relationships. Stay in touch with your board members and reciprocate their generosity by offering your own expertise and support. This creates a mutually beneficial relationship where everyone benefits from the exchange of knowledge and experience.

7. Define Clear Goals and Expectations

What do you really want to be and do? Examine not only your business goals but also your driving passions in life.

Articulate Objectives. To set your mentoring relationship up for success, you have to decide what exactly you want to learn. This involves examining your business goals and your driving passions in life.

Specific Questions. Use guiding questions to define your objectives, such as:

• What are you doing well that will help you get there?
• What are you not doing well that will prevent you from getting there?
• What will you do differently tomorrow to meet those challenges?
• Where do you need the most help—and who can provide it?

Limited Scope. Stick to four or five goals for the relationship. If you include more than that, you’ll have trouble taking in what your mentor has to offer. Be sure to spell them out for the person who agrees to mentor you.

8. Structure and Rigor are Essential

To keep the mentoring relationship going, you’ll need structure—and it’s up to you, the mentee, to supply it.

Regular Meetings. Set up regular meetings with agendas so your conversations won’t degenerate into aimless bull sessions. Base your agendas on an overall plan and make sure each meeting moves you closer to your objective.

Milestones. Work with your mentor to create milestones—they’ll give your plans direction and, just as important, help you measure your progress. Without milestones, it’s not so clear where you started, what you got out of the relationship, and how that benefited you at the end.

Assignments. If your mentor isn’t providing regular assignments that sync up with your overall plan, ask for them, and work them into your agendas. They’ll keep you moving toward your goals.

9. Give Value to Get Value

She’s got to make me want to be her mentor. Isn’t she supposed to do something for me?

Reciprocity. Mentors can provide valuable insight, information, and advice, but to get all that and more, you’ve got to figure out how to repay the favor and make the relationship work for both of you. Mentors have competing demands on their time and resources, so you must make their investment in you worth their time and energy.

Providing Value. Ways to provide value to your mentors include:

• Sharing relevant ideas and articles
• Providing access to resources
• Providing insight into the rank and file of your organization
• Participating in activities and programs your mentor cares about
• Buying them lunch

Building Goodwill. A nice glass of wine and a good meal goes a long way toward building goodwill.

10. Gen X: Consolidate and Focus on Strengths

Now is the time to consolidate your efforts and focus on what you do best.

Leverage Experience. Gen Xers can attract good mentors by leveraging their experience. Think of all that experience as a stack of poker chips acquired for being an effective, valuable contributor over the years—chips that you can now cash in to get the specific career advice and support you need.

Tailored Mentoring. Now that you’re well into your thirties or forties, you need mentoring that’s tailored to your individual strengths and career goals. And at this point, you’ve earned it.

Reinforce Strengths. When you sign up for responsibilities outside work, try to choose ones that build on your expertise. If you’re good at managing large projects, consider joining the school building committee in your district.

11. Millennials: Accelerate Development Through Mentorship

By putting your mentoring and development on a fast track. Don’t wait for your company to notice you and groom you.

Compete for Opportunities. Millennials can compete for jobs formerly held by people with decades more experience by putting their mentoring and development on a fast track. Don’t wait for your company to notice you and groom you.

Diverse Network. Build a diverse network of mentors to round out your skills and knowledge. To fill a retiring Boomer’s shoes, you’ll probably need to broaden and deepen your skill set—and the longer that takes, the more likely you’ll be to lose out to someone who’s a quicker “study.”

Reverse Mentoring. As a Millennial, you have digital skills that your mentor may want to pick up, so offer some reverse mentoring: Show her how to sign up for Google Alerts and receive articles on topics of mutual interest.

Last updated: April 20, 2025