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How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People

by Les Giblin 1985 192 pages
4.27
13k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Recognize the universal need for self-esteem and importance

We are all egotists: four facts of life

Human nature craves recognition. Everyone has an innate desire to feel important and valued. This universal need for self-esteem drives much of human behavior and interaction. Understanding and acknowledging this fundamental aspect of human nature is crucial for successful relationships, both personal and professional.

Practical applications:

  • Treat others with respect and dignity
  • Acknowledge people's contributions and achievements
  • Show genuine interest in others' opinions and experiences
  • Avoid belittling or dismissing others' ideas or feelings

By recognizing and catering to this basic human need, you can significantly improve your interactions with others, fostering goodwill and cooperation in all areas of life.

2. Master the art of active listening to build stronger relationships

To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people and tying up their friendship for good.

Listening is a powerful tool. Active listening involves fully concentrating on what the other person is saying, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. This skill not only helps you gather information but also makes the speaker feel valued and understood.

Key aspects of active listening:

  • Give your full attention to the speaker
  • Show interest through body language and verbal cues
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Paraphrase to ensure understanding
  • Avoid interrupting or jumping to conclusions

By mastering the art of active listening, you can build trust, improve communication, and strengthen relationships in both personal and professional settings.

3. Harness the power of praise and appreciation

Words of praise, gratitude, or thanksgiving expand, set free, and in every way radiate energy.

Praise motivates and energizes. Sincere appreciation and recognition can have a profound impact on people's behavior and performance. When you genuinely acknowledge others' efforts and achievements, you boost their self-esteem and motivation, leading to increased productivity and improved relationships.

Effective ways to give praise:

  • Be specific about what you're praising
  • Express appreciation promptly
  • Use the person's name
  • Tailor your praise to the individual's preferences
  • Be sincere and authentic

Consistently offering genuine praise and appreciation can create a positive atmosphere, foster loyalty, and inspire others to excel in their endeavors.

4. Develop effective communication skills for persuasion

The way to convince another is to state your case moderately and accurately. Then say that of course you may be mistaken about it; which causes your listener to receive what you have to say, and, like as not, turn about and convince you of it, since you are in doubt.

Persuasion requires finesse. Effective communication is essential for influencing others and gaining their support. Instead of forcefully arguing your point, adopt a more nuanced approach that encourages open-mindedness and collaboration.

Strategies for persuasive communication:

  • Present your ideas calmly and clearly
  • Show willingness to consider other perspectives
  • Use "yes, but" technique to acknowledge others' points
  • Speak through third parties or use analogies
  • Allow others to save face when changing their stance

By refining your communication skills and adopting a more diplomatic approach, you can increase your ability to persuade others and gain their cooperation.

5. Embrace participative management for increased cooperation

People support what they help create.

Involvement breeds commitment. When people are included in decision-making processes and their ideas are valued, they become more invested in the outcome. This principle applies to various settings, from business management to family dynamics.

Benefits of participative management:

  • Increased motivation and engagement
  • Better problem-solving through diverse perspectives
  • Enhanced creativity and innovation
  • Improved communication and trust
  • Greater commitment to implementing decisions

By involving others in planning and decision-making, you can tap into their knowledge and creativity while fostering a sense of ownership and commitment to shared goals.

6. Cultivate a positive attitude and enthusiasm

If you believe in yourself and act as if you believe in yourself, others will believe in you.

Attitude is contagious. Your outlook and energy level significantly impact those around you. By maintaining a positive attitude and demonstrating genuine enthusiasm, you can inspire and motivate others, creating a more productive and enjoyable environment.

Ways to cultivate and project positivity:

  • Practice gratitude daily
  • Focus on solutions rather than problems
  • Smile and maintain open body language
  • Speak with energy and conviction
  • Celebrate small victories and progress

A positive attitude not only improves your own well-being but also attracts others and enhances your ability to influence and lead effectively.

7. Learn to criticize constructively without offending others

If you're not looking for trouble, why ask for it?

Criticism requires tact. While criticism is sometimes necessary, it must be delivered carefully to avoid damaging relationships or demotivating others. The goal should be to help the person improve rather than to make them feel inferior.

Guidelines for constructive criticism:

  • Choose the right time and place (private setting)
  • Start with positive feedback
  • Focus on the behavior or action, not the person
  • Offer specific suggestions for improvement
  • End on a positive note

By mastering the art of constructive criticism, you can address issues effectively while maintaining positive relationships and fostering growth in others.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.27 out of 5
Average of 13k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing with People is highly rated for its timeless advice on improving interpersonal skills. Readers praise its practical techniques for building confidence, influencing others, and fostering positive relationships. Many compare it favorably to Dale Carnegie's work. The book is commended for its easy-to-understand format, real-life examples, and chapter summaries. While some find it outdated or overly religious, most appreciate its enduring relevance in personal and professional contexts. Criticisms include repetitiveness and manipulative tactics, but overall, it's widely recommended for those seeking to enhance their people skills.

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About the Author

Leslie T. Giblin, born in 1912 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was a pioneer in personal development. After military service, he began a successful career in door-to-door sales with Sheaffer Pen Company in 1946. His keen observations of human nature led to two national Salesman of the Year titles. Giblin authored "Skill With People" in 1968 and conducted numerous seminars for major corporations. His teachings on interpersonal skills remain relevant in today's digital age, emphasizing the importance of personal connections. Giblin's work continues to influence generations, offering timeless wisdom on effectively relating to others in both personal and professional settings.

Other books by Les Giblin

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