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How to Say No

How to Say No

An Ancient Guide to the Art of Cynicism
by Diogenes of Sinope 2022 248 pages
3.40
100+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Cynicism: A Life Lived According to Nature

Diogenes pitted a life lived “according to Nature” against one lived in unthinking compliance with Custom.

Rejecting Convention. Cynicism, founded by Diogenes of Sinope, is not cynicism in the modern sense of negativity or distrust. Instead, it's a philosophy centered on living in accordance with nature, rejecting artificial societal norms and conventions. This involves a radical simplification of life, prioritizing virtue and self-sufficiency over material possessions and social status.

Diogenes as an Example. Diogenes embodied this philosophy through his actions, such as living in a storage jar, discarding his cup and bowl upon seeing children drink from their hands, and openly criticizing societal figures. These acts were not merely eccentric but deliberate attempts to expose the absurdity and hypocrisy of conventional life. He sought to strip away the layers of artifice that obscured true human needs and values.

The Core of Cynicism. At its heart, Cynicism is a call for authenticity and self-reliance. It challenges individuals to question the values they've been taught and to live in a way that is true to their own nature, rather than conforming to external pressures. This often involves a rejection of wealth, fame, and power, in favor of a simple, virtuous life.

2. Saying No to Societal Norms

In a sense, every sentence he utters contains a no in it.

The Art of Refusal. Saying "no" is central to the Cynic's practice. This isn't just about rejecting specific requests, but about a fundamental refusal to participate in societal games and expectations. Diogenes' famous encounter with Alexander the Great, where he asked the emperor to step out of his sunlight, exemplifies this spirit of defiance.

Challenging Authority. Cynics questioned authority and societal hierarchies, often using satire and mockery to expose their flaws. Diogenes' gesture of flipping the bird to Demosthenes, the orator, was a direct challenge to the established power structure and a rejection of its perceived importance.

Examples of Saying No:

  • Rejecting material possessions
  • Refusing to conform to social expectations
  • Questioning authority
  • Prioritizing virtue over reputation

By saying "no" to these external pressures, Cynics sought to create space for a more authentic and meaningful existence.

3. The Cynic's Training: Mental and Physical

He used to say that training is twofold, one kind mental, the other physical.

Holistic Development. Cynics believed in the importance of both mental and physical training. Physical training, through constant exercise, prepared the body to perform virtuous deeds. Mental training enabled impressions to pass through the system easily. This holistic approach aimed to cultivate a resilient and virtuous individual.

Practical Application. Diogenes exemplified this through his lifestyle. He would roll around in hot sand in the summer and hug snow-covered statues in the winter, subjecting himself to physical hardships to toughen his body and mind. This rigorous training was not an end in itself, but a means to cultivate self-sufficiency and resilience.

The Value of Askēsis:

  • Physical training for endurance
  • Mental training for clarity
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Resilience

By embracing hardship and discomfort, Cynics sought to develop the mental and physical fortitude needed to live a virtuous life, free from dependence on external circumstances.

4. Cosmopolitanism: A Citizen of the World

When asked where he was from, he replied, “I am a Cosmopolite.”

Beyond National Boundaries. Diogenes famously declared himself a "Cosmopolite," a citizen of the world. This concept reflects the Cynic's rejection of narrow national identities and their embrace of a universal human community. They saw themselves as belonging to all of humanity, rather than being bound by the arbitrary borders and customs of a particular nation.

Universal Values. This cosmopolitanism was rooted in a belief in shared human values and a recognition of our common humanity. Cynics believed that ethical principles should transcend cultural differences and that all people, regardless of their background, should be treated with respect and compassion.

Implications of Cosmopolitanism:

  • Rejection of narrow national identities
  • Embrace of universal human values
  • Recognition of shared humanity
  • Obligation to all people

By embracing cosmopolitanism, Cynics sought to create a more inclusive and just world, where individuals are judged by their character and actions, rather than by their nationality or social status.

5. The Cynic's Simplicity: Needs vs. Wants

They also hold that virtue is teachable and a possession that can’t be taken away; that the wise man deserves love, is blameless and friendly to his ilk; and that we should leave nothing to Fortune.

Distinguishing Essentials. Cynics emphasized the importance of distinguishing between needs and wants. They believed that true happiness comes from satisfying basic needs and cultivating virtue, rather than pursuing endless desires for material possessions and social recognition. This involved a radical simplification of life, focusing on what is essential for survival and well-being.

Minimalism in Practice. Diogenes exemplified this through his austere lifestyle. He owned only a cloak, a staff, and a knapsack, and he lived in a storage jar. He discarded his cup and bowl upon realizing that he could drink from his hands. These acts were not merely symbolic but practical demonstrations of his commitment to simplicity.

Benefits of Simplicity:

  • Reduced dependence on external factors
  • Increased self-sufficiency
  • Greater freedom from anxiety and stress
  • Enhanced appreciation for basic necessities

By embracing simplicity, Cynics sought to free themselves from the endless cycle of desire and consumption, allowing them to focus on cultivating virtue and living in accordance with nature.

6. Cynicism as Performance Art: The Power of Example

The Cynics were, to put it in contemporary terms, lifestylists and performance artists.

Living Philosophy. Cynicism was not just a set of ideas but a way of life. Cynics saw their actions as a form of communication, using their behavior to challenge societal norms and inspire others to question their own values. Their lives were a form of performance art, designed to provoke thought and inspire change.

Diogenes' Provocative Acts. Diogenes' public acts, such as masturbating in the marketplace and walking around with a lamp in broad daylight searching for an honest man, were not merely shocking but deliberate attempts to expose the hypocrisy and absurdity of conventional life. He used these acts to challenge people's assumptions and to force them to confront uncomfortable truths.

The Cynic as a Model:

  • Living as an example
  • Challenging societal norms
  • Provoking thought
  • Inspiring change

By living their philosophy openly and unapologetically, Cynics sought to create a ripple effect, inspiring others to question their own values and to live more authentic lives.

7. The Cynic's Critique of Luxury and Excess

I wish to put in my line of sight those things that blind the eyes of states and kings.

Exposing Vanity. Cynics were highly critical of luxury and excess, seeing them as distractions from true happiness and as sources of corruption and social inequality. They believed that the pursuit of wealth and material possessions led to unhappiness and moral decay.

Demetrius's Rejection of Wealth. Seneca's account of Demetrius the Cynic's refusal of wealth offered by Emperor Caligula illustrates this rejection of luxury. Demetrius saw material possessions as a burden and a distraction from the pursuit of virtue. He critiqued the elaborate and costly items that people valued, such as tortoises decorated with intricate designs, tables made of rare wood, and clothing made from silk.

The Cynic's Perspective on Wealth:

  • Distraction from true happiness
  • Source of corruption and social inequality
  • Burden and a distraction from virtue
  • Unnecessary for a fulfilling life

By rejecting luxury and excess, Cynics sought to demonstrate that true happiness comes from within, rather than from external possessions.

8. Cynicism and Freedom: From External Constraints

You alone showed us, who mortals be, Life’s easiest road and autarky.

Self-Sufficiency. A central tenet of Cynicism is the pursuit of freedom through self-sufficiency. This involves minimizing one's dependence on external factors, such as wealth, social status, and the opinions of others. By reducing their needs and cultivating inner strength, Cynics sought to achieve a state of independence and autonomy.

Diogenes' Example of Freedom. Diogenes' ability to live contentedly in a storage jar, asking nothing more of Alexander the Great than that he step out of his sunlight, exemplifies this freedom. He was free from the constraints of material possessions and social expectations, allowing him to live according to his own values.

Achieving Freedom:

  • Minimizing dependence on external factors
  • Cultivating inner strength
  • Reducing needs
  • Living according to one's own values

By achieving self-sufficiency, Cynics sought to liberate themselves from the anxieties and pressures of conventional life, allowing them to live with greater peace and contentment.

9. The Enduring Relevance of Cynicism

Their “less is more” approach to living anticipates the lifestyle experiments of popular culture moguls.

Timeless Principles. Despite its ancient origins, Cynicism continues to resonate with contemporary audiences. Its emphasis on simplicity, self-reliance, and authenticity speaks to our modern anxieties about consumerism, social pressure, and the search for meaning in a complex world.

Modern Applications. The Cynic's "less is more" approach anticipates modern movements such as minimalism, environmentalism, and the pursuit of sustainable lifestyles. Their focus on decluttering and detachment aligns with our aspirational fixation on nonmaterialistic transcendence.

Contemporary Relevance:

  • Minimalism
  • Environmentalism
  • Sustainable lifestyles
  • Authenticity

By offering a timeless critique of societal norms and a practical guide to living a more meaningful life, Cynicism remains a relevant and valuable philosophy for our time.

10. Cynicism: A Universal Philosophy?

For Cynic philosophy seems somehow to be universal and most natural, needing no specialized study whatsoever.

Beyond Cultural Boundaries. Julian suggests that Cynicism is a universal philosophy, accessible to people of all cultures and backgrounds. Its emphasis on living according to nature and rejecting artificial conventions transcends cultural boundaries, making it relevant to anyone seeking a more authentic and meaningful life.

The Core Principles. The core principles of Cynicism – self-knowledge, disregard of empty opinions, and apprehension of the truth – are not limited to any particular time or place. They are fundamental to the human experience and can be applied in any context.

Universality of Cynicism:

  • Emphasis on living according to nature
  • Rejection of artificial conventions
  • Focus on self-knowledge
  • Pursuit of truth

By recognizing the universality of Cynicism, we can appreciate its enduring value and its potential to inspire positive change in individuals and societies around the world.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.40 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

How to Say No receives mixed reviews, with an average rating of 3.4/5. Some praise it as an insightful introduction to Cynic philosophy, particularly enjoying the "Interview with a Cynic" chapter. Others find it disappointing, lacking cohesion and depth. Readers appreciate the book's humor and interesting snippets but criticize its brevity and lack of focus on Diogenes specifically. Many consider it a decent starting point for exploring Cynicism but suggest seeking other sources for a more comprehensive understanding of Diogenes and his philosophy.

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About the Author

Diogenes of Sinope was a Greek philosopher and founder of Cynic philosophy, born in 412 or 404 BCE in Sinope. Exiled for debasing currency, he moved to Athens to challenge societal norms. Diogenes embraced poverty, lived in a ceramic jar, and performed philosophical stunts to criticize corrupt society. He famously mocked Plato and Alexander the Great. After being sold into slavery, he settled in Corinth, where he passed on his teachings. Though none of his writings survive, anecdotes about his life and sayings are preserved in classical sources. Diogenes' influence extended to Stoicism through his student Crates.

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