I'm Judging You

1. Judgment is Necessary in a World Lacking Common Sense

In a world where we are more connected to each other than ever, with endless access to information at our fingertips, too many of us seem to have missed the message on how to behave.

Modern disconnect. Despite unprecedented connectivity and access to information, basic decency and common sense seem increasingly rare. The author argues that this new world order requires new rules and a guide for navigating social interactions, both online and off.

The need for a playbook. The book serves as this guide, offering pointed observations and judgments on behaviors that demonstrate a lack of sense. It aims to call out logic-deficient actions in areas ranging from personal habits to social media use and cultural issues.

Judging is commentary. The author embraces judgment not just as criticism, but as a form of social commentary. By highlighting absurd or harmful behaviors, the book encourages readers to reflect on their own actions and the collective state of decency in society.

2. Everyday Annoyances Reveal Our Collective Flaws

We are all annoying and do assholish things every single day.

Universal flaws. The author points out that annoying behaviors are common and reveal shared human flaws. Examples include perpetual lateness, especially for non-work events, which disrupts others' time and plans.

Dinner scrooges. Group dinners often expose inconsiderate behavior related to splitting bills. Whether it's ordering excessively and wanting to split evenly, calculating costs to the cent while ignoring tax/tip, or leaving early without paying, these actions highlight selfishness.

Tiny tyrants. Even toddlers, despite their cuteness, are judged for their demanding, couthless behavior and ability to manipulate adults. These everyday annoyances, while seemingly small, reflect a broader lack of thoughtfulness and consideration for others.

3. Friendship Requires Effort, Not Just Presence

Friendship is a two-way street, and some people block the way like a parked U-Haul truck in the middle of your road of friendship so school busses can't get past, and that's just rude.

One-sided relationships. The author identifies several types of friends who fail to uphold their end of the friendship. The Competitor constantly tries to one-up your achievements, indicating they don't truly wish you well.

SOS Pals. The SOS Pal only reaches out when they need something, disappearing during good times. This creates a codependent dynamic where one person is always the caretaker, leading to feelings of being taken advantage of.

Other problematic types. Other judged friends include The Adventurer, whose recklessness can endanger you; The Lannister, who cannot be trusted; The Surface, who remains guarded despite years of knowing them; The Frenemy, who is mean and backhanded; The Enabler, who never challenges you; and The Flake, who is chronically unreliable.

4. Baehood Goes Bad When Logic Takes a Backseat

Love is blind and can render you averse to making sensible decisions.

Poor choices. The author critiques the illogical decisions people make in romantic relationships, often driven by infatuation rather than sense. A prime example is dating someone with obvious red flags like unemployment, gambling addiction, and living with their mother, especially when these issues lead to legal trouble.

The "magic peen" theory. A humorous, yet pointed, observation is that behind many "ain't-good-for-nothing" partners are exceptional bedroom skills. This suggests people tolerate significant dysfunction for sexual satisfaction, highlighting a disconnect between physical attraction and responsible partnership.

Unhealthy dynamics. The book also judges concepts like "promise rings" as meaningless gestures and critiques the "ride-or-die" mentality that encourages staying in toxic or dangerous relationships. True partnership involves mutual support and growth, not blind loyalty to destructive behavior.

5. Impossible Beauty Standards Drive Us to Absurdity

We are at the point where we are so bent on perfection that we will lighten the inner sanctums of our assholes to achieve better beauty.

Extreme measures. The author uses the existence of anal bleach as a stark example of the absurd lengths people go to achieve narrow beauty standards. This desperation extends to skin bleaching, particularly in cultures where colorism is prevalent, driven by the harmful idea that lighter skin is more beautiful.

Plastic surgery pitfalls. While not inherently against cosmetic procedures, the book judges excessive or poorly executed plastic surgery driven by body dysmorphia or unrealistic ideals. The pursuit of perfection often leads to unnatural results and health risks.

Body shaming. Society constantly shames bodies that don't fit the current ideal, whether too big or too small. This pervasive criticism, from media portrayals to casual comments, damages self-esteem and fuels the desire for drastic physical changes, ignoring that true worth isn't tied to appearance.

6. Basic Hygiene and Decorum Aren't Optional

Don’t walk around looking like Pigpen and leaving a cloud of funk in your wake.

Public concern. While acknowledging personal laziness (like laundry piles), the author judges poor hygiene habits that affect others. Not showering regularly, neglecting handwashing after using the bathroom, and failing to moisturize are called out as inconsiderate behaviors.

Undergarment neglect. A specific point of judgment is women who rarely wash their bras, highlighting how easily people become accustomed to their own odors. This lack of basic care for items worn close to the body is seen as a sign of significant neglect.

Ashiness and denim. Ashy skin, particularly on legs and knuckles, is judged as easily preventable with lotion. The author also questions how often people wash jeans, suggesting some denim could stand on its own from
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Last updated: May 21, 2025