Key Takeaways
1. Kokoro: The Intelligent Heart Illuminates Life's Path
The kokoro is the intelligent heart, which communicates our innate wisdom and responds to the world in the present moment, in the form of felt impulses.
Beyond Simple Translation. Kokoro, often translated as "heart," encompasses mind, spirit, and soul. It's the source of innate wisdom, untainted by societal pressures or external opinions. It guides us through felt impulses, helping us navigate relationships and life choices with ease and freedom.
Accessing Innate Wisdom. The kokoro is a mechanism for accessing the soul’s intelligence and our deepest wisdom. It is the source of our innate capacity for feeling the innermost nature of things (which join us to each other and the world we live in), as well as the source of our natural creative response to the world. In Japanese culture, the understanding of this felt language of the kokoro is absolutely essential in navigating relationships, appreciating beauty, and responding to the world from moment to moment.
A Personal and Invisible Force. The kokoro is both generative and responsive. It's the flutter of the heart when witnessing beauty or the tightening when facing sorrow. It's a wealth of spiritual richness, guiding us toward a life well-lived, beyond material possessions.
2. Embracing Impermanence: Death as a Guide to Living Fully
A life well lived is a life lived in full awareness of the impermanence of everything.
Facing Mortality. The book explores the author's journey through grief after the loss of a close friend and her mother, prompting a deep reflection on mortality. This awareness of impermanence becomes a catalyst for re-evaluating life's priorities and making intentional choices.
Death as a Teacher. The author learns that facing death can teach us how to live more fully. It encourages us to treasure what is precious, let go of what doesn't matter, and trust in our own heart's wisdom. It is a reminder to cultivate a strong sense of what really matters, so we can treasure it before it is lost, and make the most of every day.
The Gift of Clarity. The experience of loss brings a new clarity, stripping away the superficial and highlighting the importance of love, connection, and gratitude. It's a call to live each day with intention, knowing that time is precious and not guaranteed.
3. Stillness and Silence: Tuning into the Kokoro's Wisdom
A life well lived is a life enriched by stillness.
The Power of Space. The book emphasizes the importance of creating space and stillness in our lives to tune into the wisdom of the kokoro. This involves disconnecting from the constant noise of the modern world and finding moments of quiet contemplation.
Learning from Nature. Drawing inspiration from figures like Zen poet Ryōkan, the author explores how nature can be a source of stillness and inspiration. Spending time in nature, away from distractions, allows us to listen to our inner voice and gain clarity about what truly matters.
Spaciousness and Potential. Stillness is not just about quietening the mind; it's about creating a fertile void from which newness can arise. It's about leaving white space in our lives for the unknown, allowing for a widening of perspective and the emergence of new possibilities.
4. Timefulness: Being Present in the River of Existence
A life well lived is a life we are present to.
Beyond Linear Time. The book challenges our conventional understanding of time as a linear resource to be managed and controlled. Instead, it introduces the concept of "being-time," where existence and time are intertwined.
The Eternal Now. Drawing on the teachings of Zen Master Dōgen, the author explores the idea that each moment contains all of time—the past, present, and future. This perspective encourages us to be fully present in each moment, giving it our full attention.
Living in the Flow. By embracing the concept of being-time, we can shift from "doing-time" (a life governed by schedules and obligations) to a more fluid and intentional way of living. This involves surrendering to the moment, letting go of striving, and simply experiencing life as it unfolds.
5. Heart-Mindfulness: Navigating Life with Sensitivity and Awareness
A life well lived is a life experienced heart-mindfully.
Beyond Rationality. The book advocates for a way of living that goes beyond rational decision-making and embraces heart-mindfulness. This involves tuning into our feelings and responding to the world with sensitivity and awareness.
The Language of Feeling. Heart-mindfulness is about recognizing the energetic impulses that arise within us in response to the world. It's about trusting the intelligence of our kokoro and allowing it to guide our choices.
Joy as a Compass. By making decisions guided by joy and other positive emotions, we navigate life in a different way. Our days look different, and we feel different at the end of each one. We might call this feeling approach “heart-mindfulness.” We don’t make a conscious decision to feel a certain way, the feeling just arises, and we are aware of its arising.
6. Rebirth and Renewal: Letting Go to Become Who We Are
A life well lived is a life fully expressed.
The Cycle of Change. The book explores the concept of rebirth as a continuous process of letting go and becoming. This involves shedding old identities, beliefs, and patterns that no longer serve us.
Embracing Vulnerability. Rebirth requires courage and vulnerability. It's about being willing to dissolve who we thought we were in order to become who we are destined to be.
The Power of the Present. By embracing the process of rebirth, we can live more fully in the present moment. We can let go of the past and open ourselves to new possibilities, knowing that each day is a chance for a new beginning.
7. Nourishment: Cultivating Goodness Within and Without
A life well lived is a life well nourished.
Beyond Physical Sustenance. The book emphasizes the importance of nourishing ourselves on all levels—physical, emotional, and spiritual. This involves being mindful of what we take in, from the food we eat to the media we consume.
The Kokoro and Digestion. Everything we take in goes so deep into our bodies and affects the functioning of every part of us, down to the decisions we make about the way that we live.
The Power of Omoiyari. The book highlights the Japanese concept of omoiyari, which involves thoughtfulness and care for others. This extends to the way we prepare and share food, creating a sense of connection and community.
8. Intentionality: Choosing a Life of Gratitude and Purpose
A life well lived is an intentional life, lived fully and in gratitude.
Beyond Material Wealth. The book challenges our conventional notions of success and encourages us to prioritize a "wealth of kokoro" over material possessions. This involves focusing on the richness of our inner life and the impact we have on others.
Living with Purpose. Intentionality is about making conscious choices that align with our values and passions. It's about living a life of purpose, guided by our kokoro and a deep sense of gratitude.
The Power of Now. By living intentionally, we can make the most of each day, knowing that time is precious and not guaranteed. We can create a legacy of love, kindness, and compassion that extends far beyond our own existence.
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Review Summary
Kokoro receives mostly positive reviews, praised for its blend of Japanese wisdom, personal memoir, and self-help guidance. Readers appreciate Kempton's exploration of grief, midlife challenges, and cultural insights. Many find the book thought-provoking and transformative, with useful reflection exercises. Some critics note familiar self-help concepts repackaged with Japanese themes. The book's structure, writing style, and cultural depth are generally well-received. Readers value its insights on slowing down, embracing nature, and living mindfully, though a few find it lacks practicality for those with limited resources.