Key Takeaways
1. Activate the Artist: See Her Essence, Beauty, and Depth
Within every woman is a powerful desire to be seen.
Three Levels of Seeing. To truly connect with a woman, a man must see her on three levels: her feminine essence, her unique physical beauty, and her deep inner beauty. This goes beyond mere physical attraction and taps into a deeper appreciation for her as a whole person.
Feminine Essence. This involves recognizing and appreciating the qualities that are universally feminine, such as emotionality, expressiveness, and sensuality. It's about respecting her as a feminine being and taking pleasure in how she complements you as a man.
Unique Physical Beauty. This is about looking beyond typical sexual triggers and seeing something uniquely beautiful about her physical appearance. It could be the shape of her eyes, the curve of her smile, or the way she moves.
Deep Inner Beauty. This involves understanding and appreciating her emotional landscape, her life experiences, her hopes, and her dreams. It's about knowing what has shaped her into the woman she is today.
2. The Poet's Touch: Choose, Celebrate, and Invite Her
Poetic language is meaningless unless it’s personal and she can feel it as meant genuinely and solely for her.
Three Opportunities to Connect. The Poet archetype involves giving voice to your feelings and connecting with a woman on a deeper level. This can be achieved by choosing her explicitly, celebrating her unique qualities, and inviting her to a place that surprises her.
Choosing Her. This means making a conscious and ongoing choice to be with her, not just as a default or an accident of fate. It's about letting her know that you chose her from among all the women you could have.
Celebrating Her. This involves putting attention on your good fortune and demonstrating your delight in being with her. It's about making her feel like the center of your attention and appreciating her presence in your life.
Inviting Her. This means taking her mind, body, and heart to new places and creating a sense of possibility and excitement in the relationship. It's about leading her into experiences that create intense feelings of love and desire.
3. The Director's Vision: Lead with Confidence and Care
Women clearly want different things in love than men.
The Gift of Leadership. The Director archetype is about providing leadership and direction in the relationship. This doesn't mean being controlling or domineering, but rather having a clear vision and the confidence to move forward.
Directionality and Focus. Women are drawn to men who have a sense of purpose and know where they're going in life. This provides a sense of security and allows her to relax and trust in his leadership.
Balance and Respect. Good leadership is never about force. It's about leading with respect, care, and deference. It's about inviting her to join you on your journey, not dragging her along against her will.
Overcoming Fear. Many men have lost their confidence to lead women romantically and sexually. This is often due to a fear of saying the wrong thing or overstepping boundaries. However, women want men who are fully in their power and unafraid to take the lead.
4. Unleash the Warrior: Defend Her Heart and Your Beliefs
When you embrace the truth and power of your masculinity, the women you touch will be transformed and blossom.
Courage and Conviction. The Warrior archetype is about having the courage to stand up for what you believe in, even in the face of opposition. It's about being willing to fight for what you care about, both in the world and in your relationship.
Protecting Her Heart. A woman wants to know that you will defend her heart and protect her from harm, both physically and emotionally. This doesn't mean being overly jealous or controlling, but rather being a source of strength and support.
Fighting for Your Beliefs. This involves aligning your actions with your highest truth and not relenting until you achieve a satisfying end. It's about having a purpose that is bigger than yourself and being willing to make sacrifices for it.
The Power of Passion. Women are drawn to men who are passionate about something, whether it's their work, their hobbies, or their beliefs. This passion is contagious and inspires her to be a better version of herself.
5. Embrace the Sage: Trust Your Wisdom and Share It
Your greatest opportunity in loving women is that fundamental acceptance, and it begins with this deeper, more compassionate way of seeing and reflecting.
The Foundation of Trust. The Sage archetype is about building an unbreakable trust with a woman. This is achieved by being impeccable in your words and actions, honoring your commitments, and being a source of wisdom and guidance.
Integrity and Consistency. A woman wants to know that she can count on you to do what you say you will do. This creates a sense of security and allows her to relax and trust in your leadership.
Sharing Your Wisdom. This involves offering your insights and perspectives without attachment to an outcome. It's about being a sounding board for her thoughts and feelings and helping her to see things from a different angle.
The Power of Acceptance. The Sage archetype is also about accepting a woman for who she is, flaws and all. This creates a safe space for her to be vulnerable and authentic, which deepens the connection between you.
6. The Dark Knight's Edge: Live Fully, Embrace Risk, and Defy Fear
The shadow of The Artist is, unfortunately, a man who hasn’t discovered the feminine as a complement and a source of strength.
Living at Your Edge. The Dark Knight archetype is about living fully and embracing risk. It's about pushing the boundaries of what's possible and not being afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.
Defying Fear. This involves facing your fears head-on and not letting them control your life. It's about being willing to take risks and make sacrifices in order to achieve your goals.
Embracing Danger and Death. This doesn't mean being reckless or suicidal, but rather accepting the finite nature of life and living each day to the fullest. It's about being aware of your mortality and not letting it hold you back from pursuing your dreams.
The Allure of the Unknown. Women are drawn to men who are willing to explore the unknown and push the boundaries of what's possible. This creates a sense of excitement and adventure in the relationship.
7. The Lover's Gift: Own Your Sexuality and Give It Freely
I’ve uncovered the secrets to empowering men that translate into deeply satisfying relationships with women.
Sacred Sexuality. The Lover archetype is about owning your sexuality and recognizing it as a powerful force for good. It's about using your sexuality to connect with a woman on a deeper level and to create a transcendent experience.
Beyond Pleasure. This involves having a higher purpose for your sexuality than mere physical gratification. It's about using your sexuality to express love, intimacy, and connection.
The Power of Choice. This means recognizing that you always have a choice about how you express your sexuality. It's about not being a victim of your desires, but rather being in control of your actions.
A Gift of Self. This involves giving the best of your erotic and sexual energy as a gift to your partner. It's about being present, attentive, and fully engaged in the moment.
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Review Summary
Open Her receives mixed reviews, with many praising its insights into masculine archetypes and their impact on relationships. Readers appreciate the unique female perspective on masculinity and find the book helpful for self-reflection and personal growth. Some criticize it for being subjective, lacking scientific basis, and potentially reinforcing gender stereotypes. Critics also note its repetitive nature and occasional disconnect from reality. Overall, the book is seen as thought-provoking, offering valuable perspectives on masculine-feminine dynamics, though its approach may not resonate with everyone.
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