Overcome

1. Life Ambushes Are Inevitable: REACT to Get Off the X and Control Panic

In military terms, an ambush is an unexpected attack.

Recognize the ambush. A "life ambush" is a catastrophic, unexpected event—like a severe injury, job loss, or betrayal—that pins you to a "kill zone" (the X), causing paralysis, fear, and despair. Just as in combat, the only way to survive is to get off the X quickly. The author's own experience of being shot in Iraq, losing half his face, and nearly his arm, taught him this brutal lesson firsthand.

Control panic. When panic strikes, your brain shuts down rational thought, pushing you towards fight or flight. To counteract this, you must actively resist the urge to react impulsively. The author learned this during Hell Week in SEAL training, where he saw stronger men quit due to panic, and later, when he had to control his voice during a chaotic ship-boarding incident to ensure clear communication.

REACT to move. The immediate action drill for any ambush is REACT:

• Recognize your reality: Admit the severity of your circumstances.
• Evaluate your position: Assess assets, losses, and the condition of your team.
• Assess possible exit routes: Identify short- and long-term options.
• Choose a direction and communicate it: Make a decision and inform your team.
• Take action: Move immediately, even if it's painful, and don't wait for the "perfect moment."

2. Own Your Reality and Embrace Acceptance, Not Blame

An ignorant person is inclined to blame others for his own misfortune. To blame oneself is proof of progress.

Abandon blame. When a life ambush hits, the natural inclination is to find someone or something to blame, protecting your ego and absolving yourself of responsibility. However, blame keeps you stuck in the past, preventing recovery and forward motion. The author learned this after receiving a career-threatening reprimand and failing at Ranger School, initially blaming external factors before realizing he needed to own his mistakes.

Embrace ownership. True leadership, and personal progress, comes from taking "extreme ownership" of all outcomes, even those seemingly beyond your control, like the weather. This means planning contingencies for every possible scenario and refusing to make excuses. When you commit to getting the mission done no matter what, failure is no longer an option, and your preparation becomes far more solid.

Acceptance is not surrender. Acceptance is a radical recognition that your life has permanently changed, and you are actively choosing to enter that new reality. It's not about saying what happened is okay, but about acknowledging the new state and making adjustments. This allows you to move beyond denial, anger, or self-medication, and begin the long-term healing process, as exemplified by wounded warriors who accept their injuries and find new purpose.

3. Clarify Your Purpose and Embrace Discomfort for Growth

If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable.

Define your purpose. After an ambush, your previous mission may be destroyed, leaving you aimless. Crisis, however, brings clarity. Ask yourself: "What do I stand for?" and "What am I passionate about?" This broader life purpose will guide your new mission, even if it feels disorienting at first. Mark Divine, a former SEAL commander, redefined his purpose after losing a lucrative government contract, leading him to create a new, more impactful training program.

Embrace discomfort. Growth only occurs outside your comfort zone. After his injuries, the author struggled with physical limitations, initially feeling "broken" and unable to perform as before. He realized he needed to define a "new 100%" and incrementally push into discomfort, rather than trying to return to his past self. This "zone of discomfort" is where real, lasting change happens.

Discipline over motivation. Don't wait for motivation; rely on discipline. The "Pyramid of Change" illustrates that true progress lies in the "zone of discomfort," avoiding both apathy (no effort) and burnout (overextension). By consistently pushing slightly beyond your current limits, you build resilience and achieve new levels of performance, like the author deadlifting far beyond his doctor's prognosis for his injured arm.

4. Build Your Pentagon of Peak Performance for Resilience

The ability to lead yourself to success starts with change.

Five pillars of strength. To be truly ready for life's ambushes, you must lead yourself in five key areas, forming a "Pentagon of Peak Performance":

• Physical Leadership: Your body is your foundation. Prioritize good nutrition, consistent exercise, and adequate sleep. The author's fitness saved his life after being shot, demonstrating that physical health isn't just about quality of life, but survival.
• Mental Leadership: Continuously develop your mind through reading, learning new skills (like a foreign language or instrument), and engaging in mentally challenging activities. This builds cognitive resilience and expands your problem-solving toolbox.
• Emotional Leadership: Control your reactions and project positivity. The author admits this is his hardest area, learning to manage anger and frustration to avoid damaging relationships and credibility. Emotional control is a choice, even in chaos.
• Social Leadership: Intentionally build and nurture your inner circles of family and close friends. These are the relationships that will support you most during a crisis. General Stan McChrystal's wife was his rock after his career-ending ambush, highlighting the power of strong social bonds.
• Spiritual Leadership: Cultivate perspective, gratitude, and a sense of purpose beyond yourself. This can involve mindfulness, philanthropy, or faith. It helps you see minor inconveniences as just that, and appreciate the larger picture of life.

Balanced foundation. Just as a table needs all its legs to be stable, neglecting any area of the pentagon weakens your overall resilience. A strong, balanced pentagon makes you almost impossible to overturn, preparing you for any challenge life throws your way. Proactive investment in these areas ensures you're not just surviving, but thriving.

5. Adapt to Unfairness by Visualizing Outcomes and Planning Contingencies

The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair.

Life is unfair. SEAL training intentionally teaches recruits that life is unfair, preparing them for the unpredictable nature of combat. Instructors will set impossible tasks or change rules mid-exercise, forcing adaptation. This mindset is crucial because, in the real world, "the enemy always has a vote," and unexpected events will derail even the best-laid plans.

Visualize worst-case scenarios. To adapt effectively, proactively think through what could go wrong. In the Iraq War, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates ensured helicopter refueling points (FARPs) were strategically placed to achieve a "golden hour" for trauma care, saving lives like the author's. This foresight, visualizing potential casualties, allowed for critical contingencies.

Plan for the unexpected. Don't just react; anticipate. In SEAL operations, every team member brainstorms scenarios and plans contingencies, even for unlikely events. This practice builds the mental agility to adapt quickly when conditions change, preventing paralysis in a crisis. The mindset is "no matter what, no matter how," you will find a way to complete the mission.

6. Lead by Example: Get Your Head Under the Boat and Reforge Trust

To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.

Carry your weight. "Getting your head under the boat" in SEAL training means every team member carries their share of the burden. As a leader, this means working alongside your team, not just barking orders. When one person disengages, it shifts the weight to others, creating animosity and inefficiency. Leaders must be present, engaged, and actively contributing to the shared mission.

Reforge trust through action. If your credibility is damaged, whether by your own mistakes or external factors, you must reforge trust. This requires self-respect, humility, and consistent hard work. General Stan McChrystal, after a career-ending media ambush, focused on maintaining his values and continuing to lead by example, refusing to wallow in self-pity.

Humility and hard work. Humility opens you to learning from others and building rapport, acknowledging that you don't have to know everything. Hard work, demonstrated through consistent effort and volunteering for tasks, proves reliability and competence. The author rebuilt his reputation in the SEALs by arriving early, doing every job to the utmost, and seeking opportunities to contribute, eventually earning back his teammates' trust.

7. Communicate Clearly, Execute Relentlessly, and Stay the Course

Be silent for the most part, or, if you speak, say only what is necessary and in a few words.

Listen first, then simplify. Effective communication starts with listening—to your team, to external information, and to those you report to. Then, sift through the noise to deliver a simple, clear message. Admiral Bill McRaven emphasized that for the Bin Laden raid, the plan was "simple, carefully concealed, repeatedly rehearsed, and exercised with surprise, speed, and God knows we had purpose." A shared, clear purpose is paramount.

Verify understanding. Don't assume your message is received as intended. The author learned this when a miscommunication with an Iraqi leader during a firefight nearly cost lives. Always verify that your team understands the mission and their roles, ideally by having them repeat it back. This proactive approach prevents costly errors in high-stakes situations.

Execute and persevere. Once the mission is clear, it's time for action. Execution means trusting your team to do their jobs without micromanagement. It's about consistent, small efforts that compound over time. When faced with setbacks, like the author having to close his nonprofit, the "Overcome Mind-Set" means staying the course, making necessary adjustments, and refusing to quit, even when the path is difficult.

8. Cultivate Discipline, Pursue Peak Performance, and Launch from Adversity

The only thing stopping you from accomplishing greatness…is YOU.

Fight complacency. Success can breed complacency, leading to a decline in discipline and readiness. To "lead always," you must maintain self-discipline and constantly seek improvement. Admiral McRaven, even as a high-ranking officer, demanded good order and discipline, knowing that professionalism and adherence to standards are crucial for unit effectiveness, especially in harsh environments.

Pursue margins of performance. Elite performance is often separated by tiny margins. Like Usain Bolt shaving milliseconds off his sprint times, you must continuously seek incremental improvements ("kaizen") in all areas of your life and business. This involves eliminating waste, embracing new ideas, and constantly monitoring for areas to optimize, never settling for "good enough."

Launch from adversity. A life ambush, while painful, is a powerful launch point for new purpose. Instead of dwelling on what was lost, embrace what you've learned and use that experience to help others. Wounded warriors like Mike Schlitz and Ozzie Martinez transformed their devastating injuries and PTSD into platforms for inspiring and serving others, demonstrating that crisis can be a catalyst for a new, even better trajectory.

Last updated: August 8, 2025