Painting With Ashes

1. Painting with Ashes: Transforming Wounds into Healing

If God can bring beauty from ashes, then ashes are the best materials we have to paint with.

Wounds as superpowers. Our deepest wounds and struggles can become our greatest sources of strength and healing for others. This concept of "painting with ashes" suggests that our painful experiences, rather than being discarded or hidden, can be transformed into something beautiful and meaningful.

Examples of ash painters. The book provides numerous examples of individuals who have turned their suffering into a force for good:

• Maya Angelou: Transformed childhood trauma into powerful literature and activism
• Martin Luther King Jr.: Used experiences of racial discrimination to fuel the civil rights movement
• Henri Nouwen: Embraced personal struggles to develop a spirituality of compassionate vulnerability

The healing journey. Transforming wounds into healing is not a one-time event but a lifelong process that involves:

• Acknowledging and accepting our brokenness
• Finding a supportive community
• Developing practices of self-reflection and growth
• Using our experiences to empathize with and help others

2. The Gift of Desperation: Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Sometimes God sends angels in green suits with handcuffs as an answer to our prayers.

Rock bottom as a catalyst. The author's personal story illustrates how hitting rock bottom can be a pivotal moment for change. His experiences with addiction, incarceration, and loss became the foundation for his eventual transformation and healing work.

Desperation as opportunity. The concept of the "gift of desperation" suggests that our lowest moments can:

• Force us to confront our need for help
• Break down barriers of pride and self-reliance
• Open us to new possibilities and ways of thinking
• Connect us with supportive communities and resources

Embracing vulnerability. The book emphasizes that true strength often comes from embracing our vulnerability rather than hiding it. This involves:

• Admitting our powerlessness over certain aspects of life
• Seeking help from others and a higher power
• Being willing to change and grow
• Using our experiences of desperation to help others in similar situations

3. Adoption and Belonging: Overcoming Abandonment

Ubuntu: we are people through other persons.

The impact of abandonment. The author's personal experience of being abandoned at birth and later adopted by his grandparents highlights the profound impact of early childhood experiences on our sense of self and belonging.

Finding family in community. The book emphasizes that healing from abandonment often involves:

• Recognizing the impact of early trauma
• Seeking and accepting love from chosen family and community
• Embracing spiritual adoption (e.g., through faith communities)
• Understanding our place in a larger human story

Ubuntu philosophy. This African concept emphasizes our interconnectedness and mutual dependence. It suggests that:

• Our identities are shaped by our relationships with others
• Healing happens in community, not in isolation
• We have a responsibility to contribute to the well-being of others
• Our individual stories are part of a larger, shared human narrative

4. From Hurt to Healer: Breaking the Cycle of Pain

Hurt people hurt people, but healed people heal people.

Understanding the cycle of pain. The author's journey from a troubled youth to a pastor and healer illustrates how unresolved pain can lead to harmful behaviors, but also how healing can break this cycle.

The wounded healer concept. Drawing on the work of Henri Nouwen, the book explores how our own wounds can become a source of healing for others:

• Personal struggles create empathy and understanding
• Shared vulnerability fosters authentic connections
• Overcoming challenges provides hope and inspiration for others

Steps to becoming a wounded healer:

1. Acknowledging and processing our own pain
2. Seeking help and support in our healing journey
3. Developing self-awareness and emotional intelligence
4. Using our experiences to connect with and help others
5. Continually working on our own growth and healing

5. Love as a Transformative Force: The Power of Unconditional Acceptance

To love another person is to see the face of God.

The author's transformation. The book details how the unconditional love of the author's wife, Jill, played a crucial role in his recovery and transformation, illustrating the profound impact of being truly seen and accepted.

Characteristics of transformative love:

• Acceptance without conditions
• Belief in the other's potential for change
• Willingness to stand by someone through difficulties
• Ability to see beyond current circumstances to a person's true self

The ripple effect of love. The book suggests that experiencing unconditional love not only heals the individual but also:

• Empowers them to love others more fully
• Breaks cycles of generational trauma and dysfunction
• Creates a positive impact on wider communities
• Reflects and embodies divine love in human relationships

6. Confession and Healing: The Importance of Vulnerability

We are only as sick as our secrets.

The power of confession. Drawing from both religious traditions and recovery programs, the book emphasizes how sharing our deepest struggles can lead to profound healing.

Benefits of vulnerable sharing:

• Releases the toxic burden of shame and guilt
• Creates opportunities for genuine connection and support
• Allows for accountability and growth
• Inspires others to be more open about their own struggles

Practical applications:

• Finding a trusted "soul friend" or sponsor
• Participating in support groups or recovery meetings
• Engaging in regular self-reflection and inventory
• Practicing radical honesty in appropriate contexts

Balancing vulnerability and boundaries. The book also acknowledges the importance of discernment in sharing, emphasizing the need for safe and supportive environments for vulnerable confession.

7. Imagination as a Superpower: Creativity in Recovery

To stop learning is in some ways to stop living and to stop following Jesus.

Imagination as a healing tool. The author describes how imagination, often honed as a survival skill in childhood, can become a powerful force for transformation and healing in adulthood.

Applications of creative imagination:

• Envisioning a different future for oneself and others
• Finding innovative solutions to personal and social problems
• Expressing difficult emotions and experiences through art
• Connecting with spirituality and higher meaning

Cultivating imagination:

• Engaging in creative practices (writing, art, music, etc.)
• Practicing mindfulness and meditation
• Exploring new ideas and perspectives
• Challenging limiting beliefs and assumptions

Imagination in spiritual life. The book connects imagination to spiritual growth, suggesting that it's essential for:

• Understanding abstract spiritual concepts
• Developing a personal relationship with the divine
• Envisioning and working towards a better world
• Interpreting and applying spiritual teachings in daily life

8. Shepherd Malpractice: Redefining Pastoral Care

Jesus is calling me to join him in the work of washing feet.

Challenging traditional ministry. The author's concept of "shepherd malpractice" involves prioritizing outreach to marginalized communities over maintaining the status quo within established church structures.

Key aspects of shepherd malpractice:

• Focusing on "lost sheep" rather than the "ninety-nine"
• Embracing discomfort and risk in ministry
• Challenging church norms that prioritize institutional preservation
• Embodying Jesus' example of radical inclusion and service

Balancing care and challenge. The book acknowledges the tensions this approach can create:

• Resistance from established church members
• Personal and professional risks for clergy
• The need for wisdom in navigating institutional structures
• The importance of self-care and boundaries in radical ministry

A call for church renewal. Ultimately, the concept of shepherd malpractice is presented as a way to revitalize the church's mission and relevance in contemporary society.

9. A Church in the Wild: Bringing Hope to Marginalized Communities

We need a church in the wild.

Redefining sacred space. The author's vision of "church in the wild" involves bringing spiritual community and healing to unconventional spaces and marginalized populations.

Characteristics of a wild church:

• Meets people where they are (physically and spiritually)
• Embraces diversity and inclusion
• Focuses on practical help alongside spiritual growth
• Challenges traditional notions of religious respectability

Examples from history and present:

• Jesus' ministry among social outcasts
• Vivaldi's work with orphaned girls in Venice
• Contemporary ministries in prisons, addiction recovery centers, and impoverished communities

Challenges and opportunities:

• Navigating cultural and social barriers
• Balancing outreach with spiritual depth
• Addressing systemic issues alongside individual needs
• Reimagining church structures and practices for new contexts

The book concludes by challenging readers to consider how they can participate in creating "churches in the wild" in their own communities, bringing hope and healing to those often overlooked by traditional religious institutions.

Last updated: August 13, 2024