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Promise Me, Dad

Promise Me, Dad

A Year of Hope, Hardship, and Purpose
by Joe Biden 2017 260 pages
4.14
23k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Biden's commitment to family and public service shapes his career

Family had been an essential escape in the five-and-a-half years I had been vice president; being with them was like flying in the eye of a storm—a reminder of the natural ease and rhythms of our previous life, and of the calm to come when my time in office was done.

Family as anchor: Throughout his political career, Biden prioritized his family, using their support as a source of strength and balance. This commitment influenced his decision-making, from commuting daily as a senator to considering a presidential run.

Public service ethos: Biden's dedication to public service stemmed from his upbringing and personal values. He viewed politics as a means to improve people's lives, focusing on issues like middle-class struggles, foreign policy, and social justice.

  • Key family moments: Daily train commutes, family vacations, holiday traditions
  • Public service milestones: 36 years as senator, two terms as vice president
  • Policy priorities: Economic recovery, healthcare reform, foreign relations

2. Tragedy and loss test Biden's resilience and faith

I pulled out my diary and started to write: March 29—Leaving MD Anderson with hope. Beau is an amazing man. As is Hunter. He is staying with [Beau] until the next procedure. I'll be coming back. I paused. What else was there to say? I was afraid if I really opened up, I would give into a lurking despair, and I could not allow that to happen.

Facing personal tragedies: Biden endured multiple devastating losses, including the death of his first wife and daughter in 1972 and his son Beau in 2015. These experiences deeply affected him but also strengthened his resolve and empathy.

Faith as a source of comfort: Biden's Catholic faith provided solace during difficult times. He found comfort in rituals, prayer, and the belief that his loved ones remained a part of him.

  • Major losses: First wife and daughter (1972), son Beau (2015)
  • Coping mechanisms: Prayer, family support, commitment to work
  • Impact on leadership: Increased empathy and understanding of others' pain

3. Biden's role as VP strengthens his leadership and policy expertise

Barack Obama had handed me big things to run from the beginning of our first term, and once he assigned me to oversee the Recovery Act of 2009, or budget negotiations with Senator Mitch McConnell, or diplomatic relations with Iraq, he did not look over my shoulder.

Expanded responsibilities: As Vice President, Biden took on significant roles in domestic and foreign policy, including overseeing the economic recovery, managing relations with Iraq, and addressing issues in Ukraine and Central America.

Partnership with Obama: Biden developed a close working relationship with President Obama, characterized by mutual trust and respect. This partnership allowed Biden to grow as a leader and expand his policy expertise.

  • Key assignments: Economic Recovery Act, Iraq policy, Ukraine crisis
  • Skills developed: Diplomacy, crisis management, legislative negotiation
  • Preparation for potential presidency: Foreign policy experience, executive leadership

4. Beau Biden's illness and death profoundly impact the family

May 30. 7:51 p.m. It happened, I recorded in my diary. My God, my boy. My beautiful boy.

Beau's battle with cancer: The Biden family faced a devastating challenge when Beau was diagnosed with brain cancer. His courage and determination during treatment inspired the family and shaped their perspectives on life and politics.

Family unity in crisis: The Bidens came together to support Beau, with each member playing a crucial role. This experience reinforced their bonds and influenced their approach to both personal and public life.

  • Beau's impact: Inspiration for potential presidential run, legacy of public service
  • Family roles: Hunter as primary support, Jill as caregiver, Joe balancing work and family
  • Lasting effects: Renewed focus on cancer research, changed political calculus

5. Biden wrestles with running for president while grieving

I knew from previous experience that grief is a process that respects no schedule and no timetable. I would be ready when I was ready, if I was ready, and not before. I had no idea when that would be.

Emotional struggle: Biden grappled with the decision to run for president while mourning Beau's death. He faced internal conflicts between fulfilling Beau's wishes and managing his own grief.

Political considerations: Despite personal challenges, Biden and his team assessed the viability of a presidential campaign. They weighed factors such as timing, funding, and public perception.

Key factors in decision-making:

  • Emotional readiness
  • Family support
  • Political landscape
  • Campaign feasibility
  • Influence of Beau's wishes on Biden's deliberations

6. Biden's political strategy focuses on middle-class revival

We had to remind corporate America and Wall Street that just taking care of themselves and their shareholders wasn't good enough. They had a responsibility to their workers, their communities, and their country, too.

Economic vision: Biden's potential campaign strategy centered on revitalizing the middle class and addressing economic inequality. He advocated for policies that would benefit working families and promote shared prosperity.

Bold policy proposals: Biden envisioned a campaign platform that included ambitious goals such as free community college, infrastructure investment, and tax reform to address wealth disparities.

Key policy proposals:

  • $15 minimum wage
  • Free public college tuition
  • Infrastructure modernization
  • Middle-class tax cuts
  • Emphasis on fairness and opportunity in economic policy

7. Personal connections and empathy define Biden's approach to politics

I have come to believe that the first duty of a public servant is to help bring people together, especially in crisis, especially across difficult divides, to show respect for everybody at the table, and to help find a safe way forward.

Empathetic leadership: Biden's political style is characterized by his ability to connect with people on a personal level. He draws on his own experiences of loss and struggle to relate to voters and colleagues.

Bridge-building approach: Throughout his career, Biden sought to find common ground and build relationships across party lines. This approach influenced his legislative work and diplomatic efforts.

Examples of personal connections:

  • Comforting families of fallen soldiers
  • Relating to middle-class struggles
  • Building rapport with foreign leaders
  • Impact on policy-making: Emphasis on bipartisanship and compromise

8. Biden navigates complex foreign policy challenges as VP

I had been threading the very narrow eye of a needle for the past year in the Ukraine crisis. President Obama's sympathies were all with Ukraine, but he was not going to allow this regional conflict to escalate into a hot war with Russia.

Diplomatic balancing act: As Vice President, Biden played a crucial role in managing international crises, particularly in Ukraine, Iraq, and Central America. He balanced U.S. interests with the need for diplomatic solutions.

Strategic decision-making: Biden's approach to foreign policy involved careful consideration of long-term consequences and the use of economic and diplomatic tools to achieve U.S. objectives.

Key foreign policy challenges:

  • Russian aggression in Ukraine
  • ISIL threat in Iraq
  • Instability in Central America
  • Strategies employed: Economic sanctions, military aid, diplomatic negotiations

9. Family traditions and rituals provide stability amid political pressures

The Biden tradition of Thanksgiving on Nantucket started as an act of diplomacy, back in 1975. I was a first-term senator and a single father of two boys—Beau was six years old and Hunter just five—and Jill Jacobs and I had started to talk seriously about a future together.

Maintaining normalcy: The Biden family established and maintained traditions, such as their annual Thanksgiving trip to Nantucket, to create stability and togetherness despite the demands of political life.

Balancing public and private lives: These rituals helped the family stay connected and grounded, providing a respite from the pressures of public office and a sense of continuity across generations.

Key family traditions:

  • Nantucket Thanksgiving
  • Christmas list-making
  • Family vacations to national parks
  • Benefits: Strengthened family bonds, created lasting memories, maintained perspective

10. Biden's Catholic faith offers solace and guidance through hardship

I've always found comfort in the ritual associated with my Catholicism. I find the rosary soothing. It's almost like my meditation. And mass is a place I go to be by myself, even in the middle of the crowd. I always feel alone, just me and God.

Faith as a foundation: Biden's Catholic upbringing and continued practice provide a moral framework and source of comfort throughout his life and career.

Navigating personal and public roles: His faith influences his approach to both personal challenges and public policy, informing his views on social justice and ethical leadership.

Expressions of faith:

  • Regular mass attendance
  • Praying the rosary
  • Invoking religious teachings in speeches
  • Impact on leadership: Emphasis on compassion, forgiveness, and serving others

Last updated:

FAQ

What's Promise Me, Dad about?

  • Personal Journey: Promise Me, Dad is a memoir by Joe Biden that details his experiences as Vice President while dealing with his son Beau's illness and death. It intertwines personal grief with political responsibilities.
  • Themes of Family: The book emphasizes the importance of family, love, and traditions, particularly the Biden family's Thanksgiving gatherings, which provide comfort and strength.
  • Political Context: Biden discusses his political career, including significant events and decisions during the Obama administration, offering insights into his life during this challenging period.

Why should I read Promise Me, Dad?

  • Emotional Resonance: The memoir offers a deeply personal account that resonates with anyone who has experienced loss or adversity, providing comfort and understanding.
  • Insight into Leadership: It provides insights into Biden's leadership style and governance approach, illustrating how personal experiences shape political decisions.
  • Inspirational Message: Biden's message of hope and purpose in life can inspire readers to find their own paths through challenges, emphasizing the power of family and community.

What are the key takeaways of Promise Me, Dad?

  • Value of Family: The memoir underscores the importance of family support during difficult times, highlighting how family bonds provide strength and solace.
  • Facing Adversity: Biden shares his philosophy on resilience and hope, advocating for maintaining a sense of purpose when navigating grief and hardship.
  • Political Reflections: The book offers a behind-the-scenes look at Biden's political life, detailing his experiences in the Obama administration and his views on key issues.

What are the best quotes from Promise Me, Dad and what do they mean?

  • "Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for." This quote by Immanuel Kant encapsulates Biden's reflections on life, emphasizing purpose, love, and hope as happiness's foundational elements.
  • "I wanted the power to cheat time." This reflects Biden's desire to hold onto moments with his family, especially during Beau's illness, conveying the universal wish to pause time in the face of loss.
  • "You never address somebody by the job they do." This lesson from Beau Biden emphasizes recognizing the humanity in others, regardless of their roles, reminding us to treat everyone with respect and dignity.

How does Promise Me, Dad address the theme of hope?

  • Hope Amid Grief: Biden illustrates how hope can coexist with grief, particularly through his relationship with Beau, emphasizing its necessity for coping with loss.
  • Purpose as a Driving Force: The memoir suggests that having a purpose provides direction and motivation during challenging periods, with Biden reflecting on how his work and family commitments helped him navigate grief.
  • Inspiration from Family: The support and love from his family serve as a source of hope, with Biden believing that family connections inspire perseverance through adversity.

What role does family play in Promise Me, Dad?

  • Central Theme: Family is a central theme, with Biden reflecting on the importance of family gatherings and traditions, providing stability and comfort amid public life chaos.
  • Support System: Biden describes how his family rallied around him and Beau during his illness, highlighting the strength from familial bonds.
  • Legacy of Love: The memoir emphasizes the lasting impact of family love and memories, serving as a testament to the enduring nature of familial relationships.

How does Promise Me, Dad reflect on Biden's political career?

  • Political Insights: The memoir provides insights into Biden's experiences as Vice President, detailing his involvement in key political decisions and events.
  • Lessons Learned: Biden reflects on lessons learned throughout his career, particularly regarding empathy, resilience, and the importance of service.
  • Connection to Personal Life: The intertwining of personal and political narratives illustrates how family life influenced his political decisions, with his commitment to public service rooted in his values and experiences.

What challenges does Biden face in Promise Me, Dad?

  • Dealing with Loss: Biden grapples with the impending loss of his son Beau, navigating the emotional turmoil accompanying such a profound experience.
  • Balancing Responsibilities: The memoir highlights the challenge of balancing his duties as Vice President with family obligations, often feeling torn between public responsibilities and family needs.
  • Public Scrutiny: Biden faces public life pressures, including media scrutiny and political expectations, while dealing with personal tragedy, complicating the grieving process.

How does Promise Me, Dad explore the concept of resilience?

  • Personal Resilience: Biden emphasizes resilience in adversity, illustrating how it can be cultivated through love and support.
  • Coping Mechanisms: The memoir discusses coping mechanisms Biden and his family employed to navigate grief, including maintaining traditions and finding purpose in work.
  • Inspiration from Others: Biden draws inspiration from others' strength, including Beau, whose courage and determination serve as a guiding light during his struggles.

What lessons about leadership can be learned from Promise Me, Dad?

  • Empathy in Leadership: Biden illustrates the importance of empathy in leadership, particularly in understanding others' struggles, believing effective leaders must connect personally.
  • Staying True to Values: The memoir emphasizes the need for leaders to stay true to their values and principles, even in adversity, reflecting on how personal experiences shaped his leadership approach.
  • Building Trust: Biden highlights the significance of building trust with colleagues and constituents, essential for effective governance and fostering collaboration in challenging times.

How does Promise Me, Dad address the issue of cancer?

  • Personal Experience: Biden shares his family's journey through Beau's cancer diagnosis and treatment, providing an intimate look at the disease's impact.
  • Advocacy for Research: The memoir emphasizes Biden's commitment to advancing cancer research and finding new treatments, reflecting on the need for increased funding and support.
  • Hope and Resilience: Biden's narrative conveys hope and resilience in the face of cancer, highlighting the importance of supporting patients and their families throughout the journey.

What impact did Beau's death have on Biden's decision to run for president?

  • Motivation to Serve: Beau's death catalyzed Biden to consider running for president, feeling a renewed sense of purpose to honor his son's legacy.
  • Emotional Readiness: The loss made Biden question his emotional readiness to run for office, grappling with whether he could fully commit to a campaign while processing grief.
  • Legacy of Service: Biden recognized that running for president would allow him to carry on Beau's commitment to public service and social justice, feeling responsible for fighting for the issues that mattered to his son.

Review Summary

4.14 out of 5
Average of 23k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

"Promise Me, Dad" receives mostly positive reviews for its emotional depth and Biden's candid portrayal of grief. Readers appreciate his honesty about family struggles and political challenges. Many find the book touching and inspiring, praising Biden's resilience and compassion. Some criticize the heavy focus on political accomplishments, feeling it detracts from the personal narrative. Overall, reviewers commend Biden's writing style and ability to balance personal tragedy with public service, though a few find certain sections overly detailed or self-promoting.

Your rating:

About the Author

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is an American politician who served as the 47th Vice President of the United States from 2009 to 2017 under President Barack Obama. He represented Delaware in the U.S. Senate for 36 years before becoming Vice President. As VP, Biden focused on middle-class issues, gun violence prevention, and foreign policy, traveling extensively to over 50 countries. He worked closely with Congress and led various interagency efforts. In November 2020, Biden was elected as the 46th President of the United States, bringing decades of political experience to the White House.

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