Key Takeaways
1. Reclaiming Sex for God's Glory: The Forgotten Conversations
It's time to begin reclaiming sex for the glory of God. It's time to invite Jesus back into the bedroom. It's time to start the conversations that the church forgot.
The church's silence: Many churches have shied away from open, honest discussions about sex, leaving a void filled by secular culture's distorted messages. This silence has led to confusion, shame, and misunderstanding among believers.
God's design: Sex is God's invention, designed as a beautiful gift for unity, pleasure, and reproduction within marriage. It's meant to be a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual act of connection and worship.
Reclaiming the narrative: Christians need to:
- Speak up boldly about God's design for sex
- Address the deeper 'whys' behind sexual purity
- Offer grace-filled, redemptive messages to those struggling with sexual sin
- Celebrate sex as a good gift within marriage
2. Understanding Our Inherent Worth as God's Creations
You were no accident. You were no mistake.
Image-bearers of God: Every person is fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image, with inherent worth and value that doesn't depend on looks, achievements, or relationship status.
Identity crisis: Many struggle with insecurity and a distorted self-image, leading to:
- Seeking validation through sexual relationships
- Compromising values for attention
- Falling into patterns of sexual sin
Embracing true worth: Understanding our value in God's eyes is foundational to:
- Developing healthy relationships
- Making wise sexual choices
- Resisting temptation and peer pressure
3. The Difference Between Virginity and True Purity
Physical virginity can't be restored. But spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional purity can.
Beyond physical virginity: True purity encompasses thoughts, attitudes, and heart motivations, not just abstaining from intercourse.
Purity as heart transformation: God desires purity in all aspects of life:
- Thoughts and intentions
- Words and actions
- Relationships and choices
Grace and redemption: Even those who have engaged in sexual sin can experience:
- Forgiveness and cleansing
- Renewed purity through Christ
- A fresh start in pursuing holiness
4. Guarding Our Eyes and Hearts in a Sex-Saturated Culture
If you are what you eat, are you not also what you see?
Media influence: Constant exposure to sexual content in media, advertising, and entertainment shapes our perceptions and desires.
Pornography epidemic: The widespread use of pornography has devastating effects on:
- Relationships and intimacy
- Brain chemistry and addiction
- Views of human worth and sexuality
Practical steps for guarding hearts:
- Be intentional about media consumption
- Install accountability software and filters
- Cultivate friendships that encourage purity
- Regularly engage with Scripture and prayer
5. Breaking Free from the Darkness of Sexual Sin
The sustainability of the darkness is just a myth.
False security of secrecy: Many believe they can hide their sexual sin, but it inevitably affects:
- Relationship with God
- Self-worth and integrity
- Current and future relationships
God's all-seeing nature: Nothing is truly hidden from God, who desires to bring healing and freedom.
Steps toward freedom:
- Confess sin to God and trusted others
- Embrace God's forgiveness and grace
- Seek accountability and support
- Replace darkness with light through renewed thoughts and actions
6. God's Redemptive Love: The Ultimate 'Why' Behind Sexual Purity
That love and sacrifice carry a perspective-shifting weight.
Love as the motivator: Understanding God's incredible love and sacrifice should compel us toward purity, rather than just following rules.
Identity in Christ: Recognizing our position as forgiven and beloved children of God transforms our approach to sexuality.
Grace-driven obedience: Pursuing purity becomes a response of gratitude and love toward God, rather than a burden or checklist.
7. Participating in Our Own Healing: Forgiveness and Faith
God invites us into our own healing with the invitation to extend forgiveness and ask to be forgiven ourselves.
Active participation: Healing from sexual brokenness often requires our engagement through:
- Extending forgiveness to those who've hurt us
- Seeking forgiveness from those we've wronged
- Accepting God's forgiveness for ourselves
Breaking soul ties: Forgiving and seeking forgiveness helps sever unhealthy emotional and spiritual connections from past sexual relationships.
Faith for healing: Believing God can and will bring healing is crucial to the restoration process.
8. Navigating Sexual Temptation in Dating Relationships
We had talked about our big-picture stance on things—the fact that neither of us believed in living together before marriage and the fact that both of us desired to abstain from sex until marriage. But prior to our first kiss we hadn't talked, in more detail, about appropriate boundaries in dating.
Clear boundaries: Couples should have explicit conversations about physical and emotional boundaries early in the relationship.
Accountability: Surrounding yourselves with supportive friends who encourage purity is crucial.
Practical safeguards:
- Avoid compromising situations (e.g., being alone late at night)
- Have an exit strategy for tempting scenarios
- Regularly discuss and reassess boundaries
9. The Reality of Marriage: Unrealistic "Sexpectations" and God's Design
False sexpectations of what sex was supposed to be, matched with a heart unprepared for how Satan was going to capitalize on my unresolved sin struggles and insecurities, completely robbed me of peace and enjoyment of sex and of my husband, ultimately.
Cultural myths: Many enter marriage with unrealistic expectations about sex shaped by media, pornography, or well-meaning but misguided advice.
Common struggles:
- "Sex guilt" from years of viewing sex as forbidden
- Performance anxiety and insecurity
- Unresolved issues from past sexual experiences
God's design for marital intimacy:
- A process of learning and growing together
- Characterized by grace, patience, and selfless love
- Intended for mutual pleasure and deep connection
10. Inviting God into the Bedroom: Rediscovering Sex as Worship
Sex is worship, and wonderful, even through the growing pains and the trial-and-error learning curve that come early on in marriage.
Holy intimacy: Sex within marriage is meant to be a beautiful expression of worship and unity.
Spiritual warfare: The enemy often attacks marriages through sexual struggles, making it crucial to invite God into this area.
Practical steps:
- Pray together about your sex life
- View sex as a gift from God to be celebrated
- Communicate openly and honestly about desires and struggles
- Seek godly counsel when facing persistent issues
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FAQ
What's "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot" about?
- Author's Journey: The book is a personal narrative by Mo Isom, exploring her journey through sexual sin, redemption, and the role of faith in understanding sexuality.
- Church's Silence: It addresses the silence and awkwardness of the church in discussing sex, and how this has led to misconceptions and struggles among believers.
- Redefining Sex: Isom aims to redefine sex through the lens of God's design, emphasizing its purpose as a holy act of worship within marriage.
- Personal Testimony: The book combines Isom's personal testimony with biblical teachings to encourage open and honest conversations about sex in the Christian community.
Why should I read "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Honest Exploration: The book offers an honest exploration of the author's struggles with sexual sin and her journey to redemption, providing relatable insights for readers.
- Biblical Perspective: It provides a biblical perspective on sex, challenging cultural norms and encouraging readers to align their views with God's design.
- Encouragement for Change: Isom's story encourages readers to confront their own sexual struggles and seek healing and transformation through faith.
- Conversation Starter: The book serves as a conversation starter for individuals and churches to address the often-taboo topic of sex openly and biblically.
What are the key takeaways of "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Sex as Worship: Sex is a gift from God meant to be an act of worship and unity within marriage, not a source of shame or guilt.
- Importance of Purity: The book emphasizes the importance of purity, not just virginity, as a heart condition that honors God.
- Role of the Church: It highlights the need for the church to engage in open conversations about sex to guide believers in understanding its true purpose.
- Redemption and Grace: Isom's story underscores the power of redemption and grace, showing that no one is too far gone for God's love and forgiveness.
How does Mo Isom redefine sex in "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- God's Design: Isom redefines sex as a sacred act designed by God for unity, pleasure, and reproduction within the covenant of marriage.
- Act of Worship: She emphasizes that sex is an act of worship and praise, meant to be enjoyed and celebrated in the right context.
- Beyond Physicality: The book highlights that sex is not just a physical act but involves mental, emotional, and spiritual connection.
- Countercultural View: Isom challenges cultural views that cheapen and commercialize sex, urging readers to reclaim its God-given meaning.
What are the best quotes from "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot" and what do they mean?
- "Sex is not a sin...": This quote emphasizes that sex, within the context of marriage, is a holy and pure act, contrary to the shame often associated with it.
- "Reclaiming sex as the act of holy worship...": It highlights the need to view sex as a sacred act of worship, aligning with God's design rather than cultural distortions.
- "God’s will is for you to be holy...": This quote underscores the call to purity and holiness, encouraging believers to live in a way that honors God.
- "You are not too far gone...": It offers hope and assurance of redemption, reminding readers that God's grace is available to all, regardless of past mistakes.
How does Mo Isom address the church's role in conversations about sex?
- Silence and Awkwardness: Isom critiques the church's silence and awkwardness in discussing sex, which has left many believers without guidance.
- Need for Open Dialogue: She advocates for open and honest conversations within the church to address misconceptions and provide biblical guidance on sexuality.
- Responsibility to Educate: The book emphasizes the church's responsibility to educate believers on God's design for sex and the importance of purity.
- Creating Safe Spaces: Isom encourages churches to create safe spaces for individuals to share their struggles and seek healing and support.
What specific advice does Mo Isom offer for overcoming sexual sin in "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Intimacy Fast: Isom shares her experience of a year-long intimacy fast, focusing solely on her relationship with God to break free from sexual sin.
- Accountability and Community: She stresses the importance of accountability and surrounding oneself with a supportive community to resist temptation.
- Prayer and Surrender: The book highlights the power of prayer and surrendering one's desires to God as essential steps in overcoming sexual sin.
- Embracing Redemption: Isom encourages readers to embrace God's redemption and grace, believing in the possibility of transformation and healing.
How does Mo Isom's personal testimony shape the narrative of "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Vulnerability and Honesty: Isom's personal testimony is marked by vulnerability and honesty, sharing her struggles and journey to redemption.
- Relatable Experiences: Her experiences with sexual sin, shame, and eventual healing provide relatable insights for readers facing similar challenges.
- Faith Journey: The narrative is deeply intertwined with her faith journey, illustrating how her relationship with God transformed her understanding of sex.
- Inspiration for Change: Isom's story serves as an inspiration for readers to confront their own struggles and seek God's grace and redemption.
What is the significance of purity in "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Beyond Virginity: Isom emphasizes that purity goes beyond virginity, focusing on the heart condition that honors God in all aspects of life.
- Holistic Approach: The book advocates for a holistic approach to purity, encompassing thoughts, actions, and relationships.
- God's Call to Holiness: Purity is presented as a response to God's call to holiness, aligning one's life with His design and purpose.
- Path to Freedom: Isom highlights purity as a path to freedom from the bondage of sexual sin, leading to a more fulfilling and God-honoring life.
How does Mo Isom's book challenge cultural views on sexuality?
- Countercultural Message: The book challenges cultural views that cheapen and idolize sex, urging readers to align their understanding with God's design.
- Redefining Freedom: Isom redefines true freedom as living within God's boundaries, rather than succumbing to cultural pressures and temptations.
- Exposing Lies: She exposes the lies and misconceptions perpetuated by society about sex, encouraging readers to seek truth in Scripture.
- Empowering Believers: The book empowers believers to reclaim sex for God's glory, resisting cultural narratives that distort its purpose and meaning.
What role does redemption play in "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot"?
- Central Theme: Redemption is a central theme, illustrating God's grace and forgiveness available to all, regardless of past sexual sin.
- Personal Transformation: Isom's story of redemption highlights the transformative power of God's love and grace in her life.
- Hope for Healing: The book offers hope for healing and restoration, encouraging readers to embrace God's redemption and start anew.
- Invitation to Change: Redemption is presented as an invitation to change, to turn away from sin and live a life that honors God.
How does "Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot" encourage readers to start conversations about sex?
- Breaking the Silence: The book encourages readers to break the silence and engage in open, honest conversations about sex within the church and community.
- Providing a Framework: Isom provides a framework for discussing sex from a biblical perspective, challenging cultural norms and misconceptions.
- Creating Safe Spaces: Readers are encouraged to create safe spaces for sharing struggles and seeking support, fostering a culture of transparency and healing.
- Empowering Change: The book empowers readers to initiate change by addressing the often-taboo topic of sex, promoting understanding and growth in faith.
Review Summary
Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot receives mixed reviews. Many praise Isom's vulnerability in sharing her personal struggles with sexual sin and her emphasis on God's redemption. Readers appreciate her focus on purity rather than just virginity. Some criticize the book for reinforcing traditional views and blaming women for men's behavior. The content is seen as valuable for sparking conversations about sex in the church, though some feel it falls short of addressing broader issues. Overall, readers find the book thought-provoking and helpful for Christians seeking a biblical perspective on sexuality.
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