Some Girls

1. Chasing Dreams Can Lead to Unexpected Destinations

Each time I unzipped that suitcase it contained a whole different set of carefully folded plans.

Unforeseen paths. Jillian Lauren's initial aspirations of acting stardom take a sharp turn when she accepts a mysterious job in Brunei. This decision highlights how the pursuit of dreams can lead to unforeseen and often transformative experiences, far removed from the original vision.

Embracing the unknown. The author's willingness to embrace the unknown, despite the potential risks, underscores the importance of adaptability and openness to new opportunities. This willingness to deviate from a set path can lead to unexpected growth and self-discovery.

The journey vs. the destination. Lauren's story emphasizes that the value of a journey often lies not in reaching a specific destination, but in the experiences and lessons learned along the way. The unexpected turns and challenges encountered in Brunei ultimately shape her understanding of herself and her place in the world.

2. The Allure and Illusion of Royal Life

Catfights, mad cash, priceless jewels—welcome to the sultan’s harem.

Surface vs. reality. The initial allure of royal life, with its promise of wealth, luxury, and exotic adventure, quickly gives way to a more complex and often disillusioning reality. The author's experiences reveal the superficiality and emotional emptiness that can exist beneath the glittering facade.

The gilded cage. The confines of the harem, despite its opulence, represent a form of imprisonment, limiting the women's freedom and agency. The author's growing awareness of this confinement underscores the importance of autonomy and self-determination.

Power dynamics. The story exposes the power dynamics inherent in a system where women are treated as objects of desire and entertainment. The author's struggle to navigate these dynamics highlights the challenges of maintaining one's sense of self-worth in a world defined by external validation.

3. The Price of Objectification and the Search for Self-Worth

The whole trick is, how much can you get for how little you give, get it?

Commodification of self. The author's experiences as an escort and a "guest" in the Brunei harem reveal the dehumanizing effects of objectification. The pressure to conform to specific ideals of beauty and desirability leads to a constant struggle for self-acceptance.

Internalized judgment. The author's internal conflict between her desire for external validation and her growing awareness of the moral compromises she is making highlights the insidious nature of internalized judgment. The need to reconcile these conflicting desires becomes a central theme in her journey.

Beyond external validation. Lauren's story underscores the importance of finding self-worth beyond external validation. The fleeting moments of recognition and approval from the Prince are ultimately unsatisfying, leading her to seek a more authentic and sustainable sense of self.

4. Friendship and Rivalry in a Harem's Confined World

I was a liar. And I left.

Complex relationships. The confined environment of the harem fosters both intense friendships and fierce rivalries among the women. The author's relationships with Taylor, Fiona, and other "guests" reveal the complexities of female relationships in a world defined by competition and limited resources.

Alliances and betrayals. The shifting alliances and betrayals among the women highlight the precarious nature of trust in a system where everyone is vying for the same prize. The author's experiences underscore the importance of loyalty and integrity in navigating these treacherous waters.

Shared experiences. Despite their differences, the women in the harem share a common bond of exploitation and objectification. This shared experience creates a sense of camaraderie and understanding, even amidst the constant competition.

5. The Seduction and Peril of Power

Grab your star and ride it to the top, Jilly.

The allure of influence. The author's initial attraction to Prince Jefri stems from the allure of his power and influence. The promise of wealth, status, and access to a world beyond her reach proves to be a powerful temptation.

Moral compromises. The pursuit of power often requires making moral compromises, as the author discovers in her dealings with Prince Jefri and his entourage. The story raises questions about the ethical boundaries of ambition and the potential for corruption.

The cost of control. The author's growing awareness of the Prince's manipulative and controlling nature underscores the dangers of unchecked power. The story serves as a cautionary tale about the potential for abuse and the importance of resisting those who seek to dominate others.

6. The Longing for Authenticity Amidst Artifice

I was unsure of my destiny, but I could tell you with absolute certainty that it did not lie there.

The search for "realness." Throughout her experiences in Brunei, the author grapples with a longing for authenticity and a desire to escape the artificiality of her surroundings. This search for "realness" becomes a driving force in her decision to leave.

Performing identity. The author's background as an actress informs her ability to perform different roles and adapt to various social situations. However, this skill also creates a sense of detachment from her true self, leading her to question the authenticity of her own identity.

Beyond the stage. Lauren's story underscores the importance of finding a sense of self that transcends performance. The need to connect with something genuine and meaningful becomes a central theme in her journey.

7. The Ghosts of the Past Haunt the Present

I was a liar. And I left.

Unresolved trauma. The author's past experiences, including her difficult relationship with her father and her struggles with body image, continue to haunt her in Brunei. These unresolved traumas shape her choices and influence her perceptions of herself and others.

Repeating patterns. The author's tendency to repeat patterns of self-destructive behavior, such as her struggles with eating disorders and her attraction to emotionally unavailable men, highlights the cyclical nature of trauma. Breaking free from these patterns requires confronting the underlying issues and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

The weight of secrets. Lauren's story underscores the importance of honesty and self-acceptance in healing from past wounds. The burden of keeping secrets and living a double life ultimately takes a toll on her mental and emotional well-being.

8. Finding Agency in a World of Limited Choices

I was a liar. And I left.

Limited autonomy. The author's experiences in Brunei highlight the limited autonomy afforded to women in a patriarchal system. Her choices are often constrained by the expectations and desires of the men around her.

Subtle acts of resistance. Despite these limitations, the author finds ways to assert her agency and resist the forces that seek to control her. These subtle acts of resistance, such as her decision to befriend Yoya and her refusal to fully embrace the role of a submissive "guest," demonstrate her determination to maintain a sense of self-determination.

Reclaiming power. Lauren's story underscores the importance of reclaiming power and control over one's own life. The decision to leave Brunei, despite the potential financial rewards, represents a crucial step in her journey toward self-empowerment.

9. The Illusion of Control and the Reality of Chaos

I was unsure of my destiny, but I could tell you with absolute certainty that it did not lie there.

The unpredictable nature of life. The author's experiences in Brunei challenge her belief in her ability to control her own destiny. The unexpected turns and chaotic events that unfold highlight the unpredictable nature of life and the importance of embracing uncertainty.

Letting go of expectations. The story underscores the need to let go of rigid expectations and embrace the present moment. The author's attempts to impose order and control on her surroundings ultimately prove futile, leading her to seek a more flexible and adaptable approach to life.

Finding peace amidst chaos. Lauren's story emphasizes the importance of finding inner peace amidst the chaos and uncertainty of the world. The ability to accept what is and to find meaning in the present moment becomes a crucial skill for navigating life's challenges.

10. The Search for Identity Beyond External Validation

I was a liar. And I left.

Beyond the looking glass. The author's experiences in Brunei force her to confront the limitations of defining herself through the eyes of others. The constant scrutiny and judgment of those around her lead her to question the validity of her own identity.

Internal compass. Lauren's story underscores the importance of developing an internal compass to guide one's choices and actions. The ability to trust one's own instincts and values becomes crucial for navigating the complexities of life and finding a sense of purpose.

Embracing imperfection. The author's journey ultimately leads her to embrace her imperfections and to accept herself for who she is, rather than who she thinks she should be. This self-acceptance becomes the foundation for a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Last updated: April 13, 2025