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Surrender to Love

Surrender to Love

Discovering the Heart of Christian Spirituality
by David G. Benner 2003 112 pages
4.37
2k+ ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Love is the core of Christian spirituality and human fulfillment

Christianity is the world's great love religion. The Christian God comes to us as love, in love, for love.

Love is foundational. Christianity places love at the center of spiritual life and human existence. This love originates from God, who is defined as love itself. The Christian journey is fundamentally about experiencing, receiving, and expressing this divine love.

Human fulfillment through love. Our deepest longing as humans is for connection and belonging, which can only be fully satisfied through love. This includes both receiving God's love and learning to love others. The ability to give and receive love is seen as the pinnacle of psychological growth and spiritual maturity.

Love's transformative power. Unlike other forces in the universe, love has the unique ability to transform persons. It can soften hard hearts, renew trust, inspire self-sacrifice, and free us from fear. This makes love the most potent force for personal and spiritual growth.

2. God's love is unconditional and transformative

God bursts with love for humans. He is far from being emotionally uninvolved with his creation. God's bias toward us is strong, persistent and positive.

God's radical love. The Christian conception of God's love is radical in its unconditional nature. Unlike other religious traditions that often emphasize earning divine approval, Christianity presents a God who loves humans regardless of their actions or worthiness.

Love as God's character. This love is not merely an emotion or response but is intrinsic to God's very nature. It remains constant despite human failures or sins. This steadfast love forms the basis for human trust and surrender to God.

Transformative potential. Experiencing this unconditional love has profound transformative potential. It can heal deep wounds, overcome fears, and reshape one's entire identity and way of being in the world.

3. Fear hinders our ability to receive and give love

In love there can be no fear, but fear is driven out by perfect love: because to fear is to expect punishment, and anyone who is afraid is still imperfect in love.

Fear as a barrier. Fear often prevents us from fully receiving and expressing love. This fear can manifest in various forms, such as fear of intimacy, abandonment, or vulnerability. It creates protective barriers that block the transformative power of love.

Sources of fear. These fears often stem from past hurts, negative experiences, or distorted views of God. Many people struggle with the idea that God might be disappointed or angry with them, which hinders their ability to trust in His love.

Overcoming fear. The antidote to fear is experiencing perfect love, which can only come from God. As we encounter and internalize God's unconditional love, it gradually displaces our fears and enables us to love more freely and deeply.

4. Surrender to love is essential for spiritual growth

Surrender to love offers us the possibility of freedom from guilt, freedom from effort to earn God's approval, and freedom to genuinely love God and others as the Father loves us.

Surrender defined. In the Christian context, surrender means relinquishing control and trusting in God's love. It involves letting go of self-reliance and allowing God's love to guide and transform us.

Barriers to surrender. Many resist surrender due to:

  • Fear of vulnerability
  • Desire for control
  • Misunderstanding of God's nature
  • Pride or self-sufficiency

Benefits of surrender. Surrendering to divine love offers:

  • Freedom from guilt and shame
  • Release from the burden of earning approval
  • Capacity to love others more genuinely
  • Deeper spiritual growth and transformation

5. Obedience should flow from love, not obligation

Christ does not simply want our compliance. He wants our heart. He wants our love and he offers us his. He invites us to surrender to his love.

Beyond mere compliance. True Christian obedience is not about following rules out of duty or fear. Instead, it should be a natural response to experiencing God's love. The focus shifts from external behavior to internal transformation.

Heart transformation. God desires a change of heart, not just a change in actions. This involves developing a willingness to follow God's will out of love and trust, rather than obligation or fear of punishment.

Love as motivation. When love becomes the primary motivation for obedience:

  • It becomes less burdensome and more joyful
  • It stems from gratitude rather than guilt
  • It leads to deeper intimacy with God
  • It results in more consistent and genuine obedience

6. Transformation occurs through vulnerability and experiencing love

Genuine transformation requires vulnerability. It is not the fact of being loved unconditionally that is life-changing. It is the risky experience of allowing myself to be loved unconditionally.

Vulnerability as key. Real transformation happens when we allow ourselves to be truly seen and loved in our most vulnerable state. This involves risking exposure of our weaknesses, flaws, and deepest needs.

Beyond intellectual belief. Merely believing in God's love intellectually is insufficient for deep change. We must experientially know and receive this love in our core being. This often requires:

  • Letting go of self-protection mechanisms
  • Facing our fears and shame
  • Allowing ourselves to be deeply known

Transformative love. When we experience love in our vulnerability:

  • It heals deep wounds
  • It reshapes our identity
  • It enables us to love others more authentically
  • It aligns us more closely with God's nature

7. Becoming love involves moving from self-focus to community

Growth in love always involves movement beyond the hardened boundaries of the isolated self to the selves-in-relationship that make up community.

Shift in focus. Spiritual growth involves a fundamental shift from self-centeredness to an awareness of our interconnectedness with others. This reflects the communal nature of God (Trinity) and our creation in His image.

Expanding identity. As we grow in love:

  • Our sense of self expands to include others
  • We become more aware of and responsive to others' needs
  • We find fulfillment in giving rather than receiving
  • We develop a sense of solidarity with all humanity

Community as context. True love can only be fully realized and expressed within the context of community. This involves:

  • Genuine connection with others
  • Willingness to be vulnerable in relationships
  • Commitment to the well-being of others
  • Participation in the broader human family

8. The cross is central to Christian love and transformation

Christian love emerges only from the journey through the cross. There are no short cuts that allow us to bypass the cross on the Christian spiritual journey.

Cross as transformative symbol. The cross represents more than just Christ's death; it symbolizes the path of self-sacrifice and transformation that all Christians are called to follow.

Death and rebirth. The way of the cross involves:

  • Dying to self-centeredness
  • Letting go of control and self-reliance
  • Embracing vulnerability and weakness
  • Being reborn into a new way of living centered on love

No shortcuts. Genuine spiritual transformation requires facing our own "crosses" - the painful experiences and self-denials that lead to growth. Attempts to bypass this process result in superficial change.

9. Love fulfills our humanity and aligns us with God's design

Love is the fulfillment of everything that makes us human. The ability to care deeply for others and to place their interests ahead of our own is the capstone of psychospiritual development.

Love as human essence. The capacity to love is not just an add-on to human nature but is core to what it means to be truly human. We are most fully ourselves when we are loving.

Alignment with divine design. Learning to love aligns us with:

  • God's nature as love
  • The purpose for which we were created
  • The fundamental design of the universe

Highest development. Growing in love represents the pinnacle of human development, both psychologically and spiritually. It involves:

  • Overcoming self-centeredness
  • Developing empathy and compassion
  • Cultivating the ability to sacrifice for others
  • Experiencing deep connection and meaning

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.37 out of 5
Average of 2k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Surrender to Love receives mostly positive reviews, praised for its profound insights on God's unconditional love and the transformative power of surrendering to it. Readers appreciate Benner's blend of psychology and spirituality, finding the book helpful in deepening their faith. Some critics note the book's mystical elements and occasional lack of biblical grounding. Many readers report emotional responses and personal growth from engaging with the text. The book is often described as short but impactful, with thought-provoking ideas that encourage reflection.

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About the Author

David G. Benner is a renowned depth psychologist, author, spiritual guide, and personal transformation coach. He holds a PhD from York University and completed postdoctoral studies at the Chicago Institute of Psychoanalysis. Benner has authored or edited over 20 books on psychology and spirituality. He currently serves as Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at the Psychological Studies Institute, Richmont Graduate University. His work combines psychological insights with spiritual wisdom, focusing on personal transformation and the intersection of psychology and faith. Benner's expertise in both fields allows him to offer unique perspectives on human development and spiritual growth.

Other books by David G. Benner

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