The Anxious Truth

1. Anxiety is not a disease; it's a natural process gone wrong

Anxiety is NOT a disease.

Natural protection mechanism. Anxiety is a state that occurs in response to a perceived threat, real or imagined. It's a close relative of fear and is often a precursor to it. The physiological hallmarks of anxiety are well-known and easily measurable. They do not indicate that anything is wrong, broken, or malfunctioning.

Learned response. The problem arises when this natural protection mechanism gets triggered at the wrong time. Your brain has learned to react in fear to things that do not warrant that response. You have taught yourself that being afraid and uncomfortable is the same as being unsafe, which is untrue. This cognitive distortion is the core of your anxiety disorder.

Fixable issue. Understanding that anxiety is not a disease but a fixable cognitive issue is empowering. It means you're not broken or ill, and you can recover by retraining your brain's responses.

2. Your body is working as designed; the problem is cognitive

It's never how you feel.

Misinterpretation of sensations. Your body reacts to anxiety with various physical sensations, such as rapid heartbeat, dizziness, shortness of breath, and nausea. These are normal physiological operations in a healthy human body. The problem lies in how you interpret and react to these sensations.

Fear of fear. You've developed a fear of these sensations, leading to a cycle of anxiety about anxiety. This is not a physical problem but a cognitive one. Your brain has mixed up the connection between fear and safety, treating them as the same thing when they are actually different.

Cognitive retraining needed. To solve this problem, you need to retrain your brain to understand that these sensations, while uncomfortable, are not dangerous. This involves changing your thought patterns and reactions rather than trying to eliminate the physical sensations themselves.

3. Attacking symptoms and avoiding fear don't work

Avoidance is an evil plan. Most of all, it does not work.

Counterproductive strategies. Many people try to solve their anxiety problems by:

• Attacking individual symptoms
• Avoiding situations that trigger anxiety
• Seeking constant reassurance
• Engaging in safety behaviors

These strategies may provide temporary relief but ultimately reinforce the anxiety and make it worse in the long run.

Reinforcing false beliefs. Avoidance and symptom-focused approaches reinforce the false belief that anxiety is dangerous and must be escaped. This perpetuates the cycle of fear and prevents you from learning that you can handle anxiety without harm.

Need for exposure. Instead of avoiding or fighting anxiety, you need to expose yourself to it in a controlled manner. This allows you to learn through experience that anxiety, while uncomfortable, is not dangerous.

4. Recovery requires changing your reactions to anxiety

It's NEVER how you feel. It's always about how you REACT to how you feel.

Three key reactions to change:

1. Before: Anticipatory anxiety and over-preparation
2. During: Tensing, bracing, and seeking escape
3. After: Telling dramatic stories about narrow escapes

Non-reactive stance. The goal is to learn to experience anxiety without reacting to it as if it were dangerous. This means:

• Not tensing or bracing your body
• Not trying to escape or distract yourself
• Not engaging in safety behaviors
• Not telling dramatic stories afterward

Experiential learning. By changing your reactions, you teach your brain through direct experience that anxiety is not a threat. This is more powerful than any logical argument or reassurance.

5. Surrender to anxiety instead of fighting it

Surrender is brutal. It's harsh. But it's accurate.

Complete acceptance. Surrender means giving up all resistance to anxiety and its symptoms. It involves allowing the worst fears and sensations to come without trying to stop or control them.

Counterintuitive approach. This is difficult because it goes against every instinct to protect yourself. However, it's the fastest way to teach your brain that anxiety is not actually dangerous.

Leap of faith. Surrendering requires trust that you will be okay even when experiencing intense anxiety. It's like jumping into darkness, believing there's a net to catch you. With practice, you'll find that the net is always there.

6. Do the opposite of what fear tells you to do

Let's layout what this path is going to look like. In the next lesson, I will take you through an overview of what we're going to be doing to enact this change. The good stuff is about to start!

Reversal of instincts. Doing the opposite means:

• Staying put when you want to run
• Relaxing when you want to tense up
• Being silent when you want to seek reassurance
• Going toward feared situations instead of avoiding them

Systematic approach. This isn't about randomly facing your biggest fears. It involves a planned, gradual exposure to anxiety-inducing situations, starting with less challenging ones and working your way up.

Building new associations. By consistently doing the opposite of what fear tells you, you create new neural pathways. Over time, this rewires your brain to respond to anxiety-triggering situations with calm rather than panic.

7. Create a systematic, incremental recovery plan

Break it all down into that kind of detail and execute every motion intently and with full focus.

Set clear goals. Identify specific, measurable objectives for your recovery, such as:

• Being able to drive on the highway
• Shopping alone
• Attending social events

Break goals into small steps. Use the concept of a "fear ladder" to break each goal into manageable chunks. For example, if your goal is to drive on the highway:

1. Sit in the car in your driveway
2. Start the car
3. Drive around the block
4. Drive on a quiet street
5. Drive on a busier road
6. Enter the highway for one exit
7. Drive for longer distances on the highway

Consistent practice. Work on your goals daily, gradually increasing the challenge level as you become more comfortable. Consistency is key to retraining your brain.

8. Practice relaxation, breathing, and focus skills daily

You must practice relaxing your body. You must practice proper breathing. You must practice basic meditation (selective focus training). Not for hours on end, but at least a few times every day for a few minutes here and there.

Essential skills for recovery:

1. Physical relaxation: Learn to release tension in your body
2. Proper breathing: Practice slow, diaphragmatic breathing
3. Selective focus: Develop the ability to direct your attention away from anxious thoughts

Regular practice. Set aside time each day to work on these skills, even when you're not feeling anxious. This builds your ability to use them effectively during anxiety-provoking situations.

Complementary to exposure. These skills enhance your ability to face feared situations without reacting anxiously. They're not a substitute for exposure but a powerful tool to support it.

9. Prioritize recovery and commit to the process

You must make yourself and your recovery a priority in your life. To get things started, you have to put yourself at the very top of your list.

Make recovery a priority. This may mean temporarily putting other aspects of your life on hold or adjusting your schedule to make time for recovery work.

Commitment despite discomfort. Recovery often involves doing things that are uncomfortable or scary. Commit to following through with your plan even when you don't feel like it.

Support system. Inform family and friends about your recovery plan and ask for their support. Explain that you may need to prioritize recovery activities over other commitments for a while.

10. Expect struggles but persist through them

Expect to struggle as you execute your recovery plan. It happened to me. It happens to everyone. It is to be expected.

Normal part of the process. Struggles, setbacks, and periods of doubt are common during recovery. They don't mean you're failing or that the process isn't working.

Non-linear progress. Recovery doesn't follow a straight line. You may have good days and bad days, but the overall trend should be positive if you stick with the process.

Persistence is key. Keep working on your recovery plan even when it's difficult or you feel discouraged. Each time you face your fears and survive, you're making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

Last updated: October 2, 2024