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The Power of Your Attitude

The Power of Your Attitude

by Stan Toler 2016 192 pages
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Key Takeaways

1. Your Attitude Shapes Everything

Your attitude has incredible power to shape your life.

Attitude is the lens. Your attitude is the fundamental filter through which you perceive yourself, the world, and others. Whether positive or negative, this outlook dictates how you interpret events and interactions, profoundly influencing your experience of life. It's more impactful than facts, circumstances, or what others say or do.

Cascading effect. A positive or negative attitude initiates a powerful chain reaction. It shapes your thoughts, which then dictate your words, which in turn drive your actions. Repeated actions solidify into habits, and these habits ultimately predict your future trajectory, determining your character and destiny.

Self-fulfilling prophecy. What you believe tends to become your reality. Negative thinkers anticipate negativity, leading to negative outcomes and reinforcing their pessimistic view. Conversely, positive thinkers see possibilities, pursue them, and bounce back from setbacks, creating a more hopeful and successful reality.

2. You Have the Power to Choose Your Attitude

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Freedom of choice. Even in the most dire circumstances, like the concentration camps described by Victor Frankl, the ultimate human freedom remains the power to choose one's response and attitude. This inherent ability means you are not a helpless victim of your circumstances.

Victim thinking limits. Believing you are powerless to improve your situation traps you in a victim mentality, preventing action and perpetuating negative outcomes. This mindset leads to inaction, missed opportunities, and a refusal to take responsibility for your life's direction.

Decision starts momentum. Making a conscious choice, especially a positive one, is a powerful catalyst. It energizes you, creates new possibilities you couldn't foresee, attracts resources and support, and builds momentum towards a better future. Choosing not to decide is itself a negative choice.

3. Choose Hope: Believe It Will All Work Out

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Hope is faith. Hope is the fundamental belief that the future will be better than the past, that good can emerge from difficulty, and that things will ultimately work out. It's the bedrock of a positive attitude, essential for navigating dark times.

Conviction fuels hope. Genuine hope isn't naive wishing; it's based on a conviction that goodness, renewal, and human dignity are resilient. Seeing the sun rise, the earth renew, and witnessing acts of profound goodness (like Father Kolbe's sacrifice) reinforces the belief that good is ultimately triumphant.

Hope enables perseverance. Despair, the opposite of hope, is the belief that things cannot improve, leading to inaction and giving up. Hope, however, provides the emotional and spiritual strength to keep fighting, seeing possibilities even in bleak situations, much like the optimistic child digging for a pony in manure.

4. Choose Humility: Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

Humility is perspective. Humility is the accurate self-awareness that recognizes your commonality with all people, placing you alongside others without feeling superior or inferior. It's not self-deprecation but a healthy self-esteem that doesn't require constant external validation.

Pride stems from insecurity. Negative thinking often leads to a poor self-image and low self-esteem. This insecurity fuels pride, a relentless need to prove worth by putting oneself first, bragging, or seeking constant approval, resulting in damaging social behaviors.

Positive self-image enables. Positive thinkers possess an accurate, positive self-image, freeing them from the need to constantly prove themselves. This allows them to put others first, admit mistakes, praise others, and share resources, making them well-liked and fostering positive interactions.

5. Choose Gratitude: Count Your Blessings

Reflect on your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Gratitude is thankfulness. Gratitude is the conscious choice to be thankful for the gifts in life, recognizing that much of what we have is undeserved. It stems from seeing oneself as blessed, regardless of circumstances, leading to a sense of well-being and generosity.

Entitlement breeds misery. The opposite, entitlement, leads to perpetual dissatisfaction because the world never meets perceived deserts. This mindset focuses on what's missing, fostering anger, resentment, and envy, undermining happiness and social relations.

Gratitude benefits you. Choosing gratitude has tangible benefits beyond feeling good. Studies show it improves physical health, sleep, and energy levels. It also fosters patience, leading to better financial decisions and making you more attractive to others, building stronger relationships.

6. Choose Generosity: Give More Than You Take

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.

Generosity is a response. Generosity flows naturally from gratitude, stemming from the belief that life and its resources are gifts to be shared. It extends beyond money to time, hospitality, ideas, and encouragement, reflecting an abundance mindset rather than scarcity.

Scarcity hinders giving. A scarcity mindset, the belief that resources are limited and giving diminishes oneself, is a major barrier to generosity. This fear leads to stinginess, hoarding, and suspicion, ultimately impoverishing the individual in non-material ways.

Giving brings blessing. The principle holds true: giving to others brings blessings in return. It builds community, strengthens relationships, and often leads to receiving unexpected resources and opportunities. The act of giving itself brings deep satisfaction and meaning, enriching the giver's life far more than hoarding.

7. Choose Compassion: Be Kind to Everyone

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Compassion is gentleness. Compassion means treating others with kindness, patience, and respect, even when they may not seem to deserve it. It stems from a positive attitude that recognizes everyone faces hidden struggles and that we are all imperfect and in need of grace.

Reprisal harms you. The opposite, seeking reprisal or treating others based on perceived desert, often stems from a negative outlook and fear of being taken advantage of. This judgmental attitude isolates you and prevents the flow of grace and understanding.

Kindness benefits all. Choosing kindness creates a better world and benefits the giver immensely. It wins friends, builds influence, aids in personal recovery (the helper principle), and improves physical health. Holding grudges and being unkind ultimately harms you more than the intended target.

8. Choose Joy: Celebrate Life

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but sorrow makes the bones dry.

Joy is a deep choice. Unlike fleeting happiness, which depends on circumstances, joy is a deep-seated sense of well-being rooted in a positive outlook, available regardless of external events. It's a conscious choice that provides lasting rejuvenation and resilience.

You can choose joy. While genetics influence temperament, a significant portion of your joy level is controllable through intentional activities and thought patterns. Research in positive psychology confirms that you can cultivate joy by focusing on positive thoughts and engaging in uplifting behaviors.

Joy improves well-being. Choosing joy has tangible health benefits. Anticipating positive experiences and engaging in mirthful laughter can improve neuroendocrine and stress-hormone responses, boost the immune system, and offset the negative effects of chronic stress.

9. Choose Perseverance: Keep Going No Matter What

Unless the divine power has raised you up to be as “Athanasius against the world,” I see not how you can go through your glorious enterprise in opposing that execrable villainy, which is the scandal of religion, of England, and of human nature.

Perseverance is determined hope. Perseverance is the ability to persist through difficulties and setbacks, fueled by a positive attitude and the belief that the goal is achievable. It's a positive attitude put into action, essential for achieving long-term goals and building a lasting legacy.

Despair leads to quitting. The opposite, despair, is the belief that positive outcomes are impossible, leading people to give up just before potential breakthroughs. This stems from a negative outlook that interprets setbacks as defining failures rather than temporary obstacles.

Perseverance requires focus. People who persevere keep their goal clearly in sight, refusing to be deterred by obstacles or critics. They view failure as a learning opportunity, not a definition of their identity, and creatively seek solutions, believing in their ability to succeed despite challenges.

10. Renew Your Mind: Break Negative Patterns

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Mind is the battleground. Transforming your attitude begins with changing your thoughts. Negative thinking is a deeply ingrained pattern, like a rut in the brain, but it can be broken and replaced with positive thinking.

Break old patterns. To shift from a "turkey vulture" focus on negativity to a "hummingbird" focus on the positive, you must actively disrupt old thought patterns. This involves:

  • Taking a mental inventory (thought diary)
  • Taking a media fast to reduce negative input
  • Carefully selecting companions to limit negative influence

Develop new thinking. Breaking negative patterns is only half the battle; you must also cultivate positive thought. This involves:

  • Giving your self-image a makeover by replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations
  • Choosing positive inputs from friends, media, and private thoughts
  • Stretching yourself through lifelong learning and new experiences

11. Improve Your Habits: Leverage the Mind-Body Connection

Your habits predict your future.

Mind and body align. A positive attitude is best supported by a total quality life, encompassing mind, body, resources, and spirit. Your physical health and daily habits significantly impact your emotional state and ability to maintain a positive outlook.

Healthy habits support. Developing positive daily routines creates an unseen support system for your attitude. Automating healthy behaviors ensures consistent physical and mental energy, reducing stress and making it easier to choose positive responses.

Key habits for support:

  • Eating properly for nutrition and stable energy
  • Exercising frequently for physical and mental fitness
  • Getting adequate rest to combat fatigue and stress
  • Meditating daily to nurture your spirit
  • Balancing stress through avoidance, alleviation, and self-care

12. Become a Positive Influence: Help Yourself by Helping Others

If your life in any way connects with other people, you are an influencer.

Influence is reciprocal. You are constantly influenced by others, but you also have the power to influence them. To maintain your positive attitude, you must become a positive force in your relationships, countering the negative drift around you.

Helper principle in action. Actively helping others overcome negativity is a powerful way to solidify your own positive outlook. By leading others towards positive thoughts, words, and actions, you reinforce these patterns within yourself, boosting your own growth and motivation.

Develop a positivity bias. Counteract the natural human tendency towards negativity bias by consciously focusing on the positive possibilities in any situation, like Mayor Giuliani after 9/11. By becoming a lighthouse of positive energy, you not only safeguard your own attitude but also subtly lift the spirits and outlooks of those around you.

Last updated:

FAQ

1. What is "The Power of Your Attitude" by Stan Toler about?

  • Core Message: The book explores how your attitude—your basic outlook on life—shapes your thoughts, words, actions, habits, and ultimately your destiny.
  • Personal Transformation: Stan Toler shares personal stories and research to show that anyone can change their life by changing their attitude, regardless of circumstances.
  • Practical Framework: The book provides a step-by-step guide to understanding, choosing, and implementing a positive attitude in daily life.
  • Christian Perspective: While rooted in positive psychology, the book also draws on Christian principles and scripture to reinforce its message.

2. Why should I read "The Power of Your Attitude" by Stan Toler?

  • Break Free from Negativity: The book is designed for people who feel stuck in negative thinking, fear, or self-doubt, offering hope and practical solutions.
  • Proven Strategies: Toler combines personal experience, scientific research, and real-life examples to provide actionable steps for lasting change.
  • Universal Relevance: The advice applies to all areas of life—relationships, career, health, and personal growth—making it broadly useful.
  • Inspiration and Encouragement: Readers are encouraged to believe that change is possible and are given the tools to make it happen.

3. What are the key takeaways from "The Power of Your Attitude"?

  • Attitude Shapes Destiny: Your attitude is the lens through which you see the world, and it determines your thoughts, words, actions, habits, and choices.
  • Seven Transformative Choices: The book identifies seven key choices—hope, humility, gratitude, generosity, compassion, joy, and perseverance—that can transform your life.
  • Practical Change Process: Toler outlines a three-part plan: understanding the power of attitude, making the seven positive choices, and implementing them through mind, habits, and relationships.
  • You Have the Power: The central message is that you can’t always control your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude and response.

4. How does Stan Toler define "attitude" in "The Power of Your Attitude"?

  • Basic Lens or Frame: Attitude is described as the fundamental way you view yourself, others, and the world.
  • Choice, Not Circumstance: Toler emphasizes that attitude is a choice you make, not something determined by your environment or past.
  • Source of Power: Your attitude is the starting point for a chain reaction that affects your thoughts, words, actions, habits, and ultimately your future.
  • Positive vs. Negative: A positive attitude leads to hope, energy, and opportunity, while a negative attitude results in helplessness, missed opportunities, and limited relationships.

5. What is the five-step chain reaction of attitude described in "The Power of Your Attitude"?

  • Attitude → Thoughts: Your basic outlook shapes the thoughts you have about yourself and your circumstances.
  • Thoughts → Words: The way you think influences the words you speak, which can be either uplifting or destructive.
  • Words → Actions: Your words drive your actions, determining how you behave and interact with the world.
  • Actions → Habits: Repeated actions become habits, forming the "operating system" of your life.
  • Habits → Choices/Future: Your habits set the course for your future, and the choices you make reinforce or change your trajectory.

6. What are the seven critical choices in "The Power of Your Attitude" and how do they transform your life?

  • Choose Hope: Believe that things will work out, even in difficult circumstances, fostering resilience and optimism.
  • Choose Humility: Don’t take yourself too seriously; see yourself as equal to others, which builds strong relationships and self-esteem.
  • Choose Gratitude: Focus on counting your blessings rather than what you lack, leading to greater happiness and satisfaction.
  • Choose Generosity: Give more than you take, which builds community, attracts resources, and brings personal fulfillment.
  • Choose Compassion: Be kind to everyone you meet, recognizing that everyone faces hidden struggles and needs kindness.
  • Choose Joy: Celebrate life and find reasons to be joyful, regardless of circumstances, which boosts health and well-being.
  • Choose Perseverance: Keep going no matter what, understanding that lasting change and success require persistence.

7. How does "The Power of Your Attitude" by Stan Toler suggest you can change a negative attitude?

  • Recognize Negative Patterns: Start by identifying negative thinking and speech in yourself, often with the help of trusted friends or self-reflection.
  • Resolve to Change: Make a conscious decision to adopt a positive attitude, understanding that it’s a choice, not a feeling.
  • Practice Displacement: Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, even in small ways, to begin shifting your mindset.
  • Get Accountability: Enlist support from others to help you recognize and change negative patterns, making the process more effective.

8. What practical strategies does Stan Toler recommend for developing and maintaining a positive attitude?

  • Reboot Your Mind: Keep a thought journal, take a media fast, and surround yourself with positive people to break old negative patterns.
  • Develop Healthy Habits: Establish routines for sleep, nutrition, exercise, and stress management to support a positive mindset.
  • Practice Gratitude and Generosity: Regularly count your blessings and look for ways to give to others, reinforcing positive feelings.
  • Check Negative Speech: Actively counter or leave conversations that are negative, and focus on encouraging and uplifting others.

9. How does "The Power of Your Attitude" address the mind-body connection in shaping attitude?

  • Physical Health Impacts Attitude: Good nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are essential for maintaining a positive outlook.
  • Stress Management: Balancing and managing stress helps prevent negativity from taking over your thoughts and actions.
  • Spiritual Practices: Meditation, prayer, and reflection are recommended to nurture your spirit and reinforce positivity.
  • Financial Habits: Living within your means, saving, and giving generously reduce stress and support a positive attitude.

10. What role do relationships and influence play in "The Power of Your Attitude"?

  • Influence Goes Both Ways: You are influenced by those around you, but you also have the power to influence others positively.
  • Helper Principle: Helping others not only benefits them but also reinforces your own positive attitude and growth.
  • Encouragement and Celebration: Regularly encourage, thank, and celebrate others to create a culture of positivity in your environment.
  • Check Negative Influences: Limit time with negative people and actively counter negative speech to protect your own outlook.

11. What are some of the most impactful quotes from "The Power of Your Attitude" and what do they mean?

  • "You cannot choose what happens to you, but you can choose how you respond to it." This highlights the central theme that attitude is always within your control.
  • "Your attitude determines your destiny." Toler emphasizes that your outlook is the most powerful factor in shaping your future.
  • "Choose hope. Choose humility. Choose gratitude. Choose generosity. Choose compassion. Choose joy. Choose perseverance." This summary of the seven choices encapsulates the book’s actionable advice.
  • "The greatest gift you can give yourself is the gift my father gave me: a positive attitude." Personalizes the message, showing the generational impact of a positive outlook.

12. How can readers implement the lessons from "The Power of Your Attitude" by Stan Toler in their daily lives?

  • Start Small, Be Consistent: Begin with small changes in thought and speech, and build positive habits over time for lasting transformation.
  • Use the Three-Part Plan: Understand the power of attitude, make the seven positive choices, and implement them through mind, habits, and relationships.
  • Seek Support and Accountability: Involve friends, family, or mentors to help you stay on track and reinforce positive changes.
  • Reflect and Adjust: Regularly assess your progress, celebrate successes, and make adjustments as needed to continue growing in positivity.

Review Summary

4.28 out of 5
Average of 178 ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Power of Your Attitude receives mostly positive reviews, with readers praising its practical advice on maintaining a positive outlook. Many find it uplifting and valuable for personal growth. Some appreciate the Christian elements, while others find them off-putting. Readers highlight the book's emphasis on choosing joy, gratitude, and compassion. Several reviewers mention re-reading the book regularly for its motivational content. Critics note a lack of scientific backing and some generalizations. Overall, readers find it an easy, enriching read with actionable tips for improving one's mindset.

Your rating:
4.57
59 ratings

About the Author

Stan Toler is a prominent Christian author and pastor, serving as the senior pastor of Trinity Church of the Nazarene in Oklahoma City. He is also a television host for "Leadership Today" and conducts seminars across the United States as the Model Church Instructor for INJOY Ministries, a leadership development organization for pastors. Toler has authored over 30 books, including co-authoring The Year Round Church Event Book. His work primarily focuses on leadership, personal development, and spiritual growth. As a prolific writer and speaker, Toler has established himself as an influential figure in Christian leadership and self-improvement circles.

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