The Princess Diarist

1. A Teenager's Unexpected Journey into Stardom

Today, her fame as an author, actress and pop-culture icon is indisputable, but in 1977, Carrie Fisher was just a (sort-of) regular teenager.

From Showbiz Kid to Star. Carrie Fisher, despite her famous parents, never envisioned a life in show business. Her early experiences, including a role in "Shampoo," were more accidental than intentional. She was a teenager navigating the complexities of family, identity, and the unexpected path that led her to the iconic role of Princess Leia.

• Her parents' fame created a unique upbringing, but also a desire to avoid the spotlight.
• Her early roles were not part of a grand plan, but rather a series of unexpected opportunities.
• She was a teenager grappling with typical teenage issues while also being thrust into the world of Hollywood.

The Unforeseen Path. Fisher's journey was marked by a sense of surprise and disbelief. She never actively sought fame, yet found herself at the center of a cultural phenomenon. This unexpected turn of events shaped her life and career in profound ways, forcing her to confront the realities of stardom and its impact on her personal identity.

2. The Unlikely Casting of a Princess

I could pretend I was a princess whose life went from chaos to crisis without looking down between chaoses to find, to her relief, that her dress wasn’t torn.

A Mute Director and a Big Role. George Lucas, known for his quiet demeanor, cast Fisher in "Star Wars" after a series of auditions. She was initially considered for both "Star Wars" and "Carrie," highlighting the unpredictable nature of casting. Her audition process was unconventional, involving conversations about her life and experiences, rather than just reading lines.

• Lucas's quiet nature contrasted with the more vocal director, Brian De Palma.
• The audition process was more about personality than acting skills.
• She was initially unsure if she was right for the role, but her unique qualities stood out.

The Upside-Down Princess. The script's description of Leia as "upside down and unconscious with yellow eyes" captured Fisher's imagination. This image, though never fully realized in the film, symbolized the unique and challenging nature of the role. It was a role that would define her career and life, despite her initial uncertainty.

3. Behind the Scenes of a Sci-Fi Phenomenon

We were filming Star Wars in London in 1976, and none of us in the cast had any idea how significantly our lives would be altered when the movie premiered the following year.

Low-Budget Beginnings. The filming of "Star Wars" in London was a far cry from the blockbuster it would become. The cast and crew were largely unaware of the cultural impact the film would have. The set was a mix of British and American crew members, creating a unique working environment.

• The film was shot on a low budget, with the cast and crew unaware of its potential.
• The set was a mix of British and American crew members, creating a unique working environment.
• The cast was mostly male, with few women in key roles.

The Buns of Navarone. Fisher's iconic hairstyle was a source of both amusement and frustration. The elaborate process of creating the "buns of Navarone" required hours in the makeup chair each morning. This hairstyle, along with her white robe, became a defining aspect of her character, shaping how she was perceived for decades to come.

4. The Complicated Reality of On-Set Romance

Do I at times wish I’d had a calmer, wiser, and more manageable sort of existence? One that even at times included pauses and yawning? Absolutely.

An Affair Begins. Fisher's affair with Harrison Ford was a significant part of her experience during the filming of "Star Wars." She was a young, inexperienced actress, while he was a married man, creating a complex and often awkward dynamic. The affair was kept secret for decades, adding to its mystique and impact on her life.

• She was a young, inexperienced actress, while he was a married man.
• The affair was kept secret for decades, adding to its mystique.
• She struggled with the moral implications of the affair, given her own family history.

A Mix of Attraction and Insecurity. Fisher was drawn to Ford's charisma and star power, but also intimidated by his aloofness. Their relationship was marked by a lack of meaningful conversation and a sense of her own inadequacy. She was trying to navigate her first affair while also dealing with the pressures of filming a major movie.

5. Diaries as a Window into Inner Turmoil

I’m frightened of the power I have given him over me and of how he will almost certainly abuse it, merely by not being fully aware he has it.

Unfiltered Thoughts. Fisher's diaries from the filming of "Star Wars" reveal her inner turmoil and insecurities. They provide a raw and honest account of her feelings about Ford, her career, and herself. The diaries were a way for her to process her emotions and make sense of her experiences.

• The diaries were a way for her to process her emotions and make sense of her experiences.
• They reveal her insecurities and her struggle with her identity.
• They provide a raw and honest account of her feelings about Ford and her career.

A Glib Martyr. Her diary entries often portray her as a "glib martyr," someone who is both self-aware and self-deprecating. She uses humor and irony to cope with her feelings of inadequacy and her complicated relationship with Ford. The diaries are a mix of vulnerability and wit, reflecting her complex personality.

6. The Enduring Legacy of Princess Leia

I liked being Princess Leia. Or Princess Leia’s being me. Over time I thought that we’d melded into one.

Leia's Impact. Fisher came to see herself as intertwined with Princess Leia. The character became a part of her identity, and she recognized that the two were inseparable in the public's mind. This melding of identities was both a source of pride and a source of frustration.

• She saw herself as intertwined with Princess Leia.
• The character became a part of her identity.
• This melding of identities was both a source of pride and a source of frustration.

Beyond the Screen. Fisher's portrayal of Leia resonated with audiences, particularly women, who saw her as a strong and independent character. Leia became a symbol of female empowerment, and Fisher's performance helped to shape the way women were portrayed in science fiction. She was a role model for many, even though she struggled with her own identity.

7. Navigating Fame, Fans, and Self-Discovery

I am someone who wants very much to be popular.

The Intensity of Fame. The sudden fame that came with "Star Wars" was overwhelming for Fisher. She struggled to navigate the intense public scrutiny and the expectations that came with being a celebrity. She was trying to balance her public persona with her private self.

• She struggled to navigate the intense public scrutiny and the expectations that came with being a celebrity.
• She was trying to balance her public persona with her private self.
• She was forced to develop her public persona and talk show style on the fly.

The Desire to Be Liked. Fisher admitted to wanting to be liked, a desire that often conflicted with her rebellious nature. She was trying to reconcile her need for approval with her desire to be authentic. This internal conflict was a constant theme in her life and work.

8. The Lap Dance of Celebrity: Autographs and Intimacy

It is certainly a higher form of prostitution: the exchange of a signature for money, as opposed to a dance or a grind.

The Autograph as Exchange. Fisher humorously referred to signing autographs for money as a "celebrity lap dance." This metaphor highlights the transactional nature of fame and the often-uncomfortable intimacy between celebrities and their fans. She saw the exchange as a form of prostitution, where she was selling a piece of herself for money.

• She humorously referred to signing autographs for money as a "celebrity lap dance."
• This metaphor highlights the transactional nature of fame.
• She saw the exchange as a form of prostitution, where she was selling a piece of herself for money.

A Mix of Gratitude and Cynicism. While she was grateful for the fans' support, she also felt a sense of cynicism about the process. She recognized the absurdity of the situation, but also the genuine connection that many fans felt with her and her character. She was trying to reconcile her gratitude with her discomfort.

9. Finding Humor and Humanity in the Absurd

I must thank him someday for teaching me to be casual.

Humor as a Coping Mechanism. Fisher used humor as a way to cope with the absurdities of her life. Her wit and sarcasm were a defense mechanism against the pressures of fame and the complexities of her personal relationships. She was able to find humor in even the most difficult situations.

• She used humor as a way to cope with the absurdities of her life.
• Her wit and sarcasm were a defense mechanism against the pressures of fame.
• She was able to find humor in even the most difficult situations.

Humanizing the Icon. Her writing is marked by a self-deprecating tone, which humanized her and made her relatable to her audience. She was not afraid to reveal her flaws and insecurities, making her more accessible and endearing to her fans. She was able to connect with people on a human level, despite her iconic status.

10. Reflections on Love, Loss, and Lasting Connections

You have the eyes of a doe and the balls of a samurai.

A Complex Relationship. Fisher's relationship with Ford was a significant part of her life, even though it was brief and complicated. She reflected on their time together with a mix of fondness and regret. She was able to see him as a complex individual, not just a movie star.

• She reflected on their time together with a mix of fondness and regret.
• She was able to see him as a complex individual, not just a movie star.
• She acknowledged the impact he had on her life, both positive and negative.

The Enduring Power of Connection. Despite the challenges and heartaches, Fisher valued the connections she made with people. She recognized the importance of human relationships and the impact they had on her life. She was able to find meaning and purpose in her interactions with others, both on and off the screen.

Last updated: January 28, 2025