The Tech-Wise Family

1. Technology should serve, not dominate, family life

Technology is in its proper place when it helps us bond with the real people we have been given to love.

Technology as a tool. The Crouch family advocates for intentional and careful use of technology, rather than letting it take over our lives. They suggest placing devices at the edges of our living spaces and filling the center with activities that reward creativity and engagement. This approach helps maintain a balance between utilizing technology's benefits and preventing it from dominating family interactions.

Wisdom and courage. The authors emphasize that the primary purpose of family life is to develop wisdom and courage in its members. Technology, while useful, doesn't inherently foster these qualities. By limiting technology's role, families can focus on activities and interactions that truly build character and deepen relationships.

Practical steps:

• Place devices in less central locations in the home
• Establish tech-free zones or times for family interaction
• Use technology purposefully, not mindlessly

2. Create a home centered on creativity, not consumption

We want to create more than we consume. So we fill the center of our home with things that reward skill and active engagement.

Engaging environment. The Crouches recommend structuring the home's central spaces around activities that require skill and active participation. This approach encourages family members to be creators rather than passive consumers of entertainment or information.

Embodied learning. Research shows that the richest learning experiences are embodied ones, involving physical activity and engagement with the real world. By prioritizing hands-on activities over screen-based ones, families can foster deeper learning and skill development.

Ideas for creative engagement:

• Musical instruments
• Art supplies
• Board games
• Books
• Craft materials
• Cooking equipment

3. Embrace regular tech-free periods for rest and connection

We are designed for a rhythm of work and rest. So one hour a day, one day a week, and one week a year, we turn off our devices and worship, feast, play, and rest together.

Sabbath principle. Drawing from the biblical concept of Sabbath, the authors suggest implementing regular periods of rest from technology. This practice helps families reconnect with each other, their faith, and the physical world around them.

Rhythms of disconnection. The book recommends three levels of tech-free time:

• One hour daily (e.g., during dinner)
• One day weekly (e.g., Sundays)
• One week yearly (e.g., during vacation)

These periods of disconnection provide opportunities for deeper conversation, shared activities, and spiritual reflection that are often crowded out by constant connectivity.

4. Prioritize sleep and morning routines over device use

We wake up before our devices do, and they "go to bed" before we do.

Sleep hygiene. The authors emphasize the importance of good sleep habits, which are often disrupted by late-night device use. They suggest creating a "bedroom" for devices away from sleeping areas and establishing a nighttime routine that doesn't involve screens.

Mindful mornings. Starting the day without immediately checking devices allows for a more intentional and peaceful beginning. This practice can include activities like stretching, prayer, or simply enjoying a quiet moment before engaging with the digital world.

Practical tips:

• Use a traditional alarm clock instead of a phone
• Charge devices in a central location overnight
• Establish a morning routine that doesn't involve screens

5. Limit children's screen time, especially in early years

We aim for "no screens before double digits" at school and at home.

Early childhood development. The authors argue that the first decade of life should be as screen-free as possible to allow for rich, embodied learning experiences. This approach helps children develop important physical, social, and cognitive skills that may be hindered by excessive screen time.

Alternative activities. Instead of relying on screens for entertainment or education, families are encouraged to engage children in:

• Outdoor play
• Reading physical books
• Hands-on crafts and projects
• Face-to-face social interactions
• Imaginative play

Gradual introduction. As children approach their teenage years, technology can be introduced more deliberately, with ongoing parental guidance and clear boundaries.

6. Use car time for meaningful conversations, not entertainment

Car time is conversation time.

Captive audience. The authors point out that car rides provide a unique opportunity for uninterrupted family conversation. Without the distractions of home or individual devices, family members can engage in deeper discussions.

Building connection. Regular car conversations can help families:

• Share daily experiences
• Discuss important topics
• Develop listening skills
• Strengthen bonds between parents and children

Alternatives to screens:

• Audio books for shared listening
• Word games or storytelling
• Singing together
• Simply enjoying each other's company in conversation

7. Foster transparency and accountability with technology use

Spouses have one another's passwords, and parents have total access to children's devices.

Open communication. The authors advocate for a family culture of technological transparency. This approach helps prevent secretive or harmful online behaviors and fosters trust between family members.

Parental guidance. For children and teenagers, having parents involved in their online lives provides an opportunity for guidance and protection as they navigate the digital world.

Practical steps:

• Share passwords between spouses
• Regularly review children's device usage together
• Discuss online experiences as a family
• Use filtering and monitoring software as needed

8. Cultivate family worship through singing together

We learn to sing together, rather than letting recorded and amplified music take over our lives and worship.

Active participation. The authors emphasize the importance of singing as a form of worship that engages heart, mind, soul, and strength. They encourage families to sing together both at home and in church, rather than relying solely on passive listening to recorded music.

Benefits of family singing:

• Develops musical skills
• Strengthens family bonds
• Enhances worship experiences
• Provides a shared cultural and spiritual heritage

Practical suggestions:

• Learn hymns or worship songs together
• Sing during daily activities like chores or car rides
• Attend church services that encourage congregational singing
• Create family traditions around music during holidays

9. Show up in person for life's significant moments

We show up in person for the big events of life. We learn how to be human by being fully present at our moments of greatest vulnerability.

Physical presence. Despite the convenience of technology for remote communication, the authors stress the irreplaceable value of being physically present for important life events like weddings, funerals, and births.

Commitment to community. By prioritizing attendance at these events, families demonstrate their commitment to their broader community and social network. This practice helps build and maintain strong relationships outside the immediate family unit.

Learning humanity. Being present during moments of joy, grief, and vulnerability teaches children (and adults) important lessons about empathy, support, and the human experience that can't be fully conveyed through digital means.

Last updated: December 2, 2024