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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

by Drew Hayes 2014 300 pages
3.86
15k+ ratings
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Plot Summary

Fred's Unwanted Invitation

Fred's peaceful life disrupted

Fredrick Frankford Fletcher, a mild-mannered vampire accountant, is unexpectedly visited by his sire, Quinn, and his powerful lackey, Beauregard. They break into Fred's apartment, taking his girlfriend, Krystal, hostage. Quinn demands Fred meet him at a church by midnight if he wants to save her. Fred, who has always avoided confrontation, is thrust into a situation where he must face his fears and the darker side of his vampire nature.

A Vampire's Dilemma

Fred's friends rally to help

Fred's friends, including Bubba the weresteed, Neil the necromancer, Albert the zombie, and Amy the alchemist, gather to devise a plan to rescue Krystal. They realize Quinn's plan is to turn Fred into a monster by exploiting his vampire nature. Neil suggests using a spell to amplify Fred's powers, but Fred is hesitant, fearing the loss of control. Instead, they concoct a plan to deceive Quinn and save Krystal without turning Fred into a monster.

The Unexpected Allies

Seeking help from powerful allies

The group seeks assistance from Richard, the weremayor, and Gideon, a dragon in disguise. Richard agrees to help due to his connection to Amy, who is a mentor to his daughter. They track Krystal's scent to a park, where they encounter magical constructs set by Quinn. Fred narrowly escapes a trap, realizing the extent of Quinn's preparations and the danger they face.

A Dangerous Game

Fred's plan in motion

Fred and his friends arrive at the church, where Quinn has set a trap with ghouls and Beauregard. Fred, using a potion from Amy, pretends to be under the influence of a powerful spell, appearing as a monstrous version of himself. This deception allows Neil to cast a spell that freezes the ghouls and Beauregard, giving Fred a chance to confront Quinn and free Krystal.

The Trap is Set

Krystal's unexpected transformation

As Fred struggles against Quinn, Krystal reveals her true nature. She is a vessel for a devil, a powerful being that revives her upon death. With her devilish powers unleashed, Krystal easily dispatches Beauregard and turns her wrath on Quinn. However, Quinn manages to escape, leaving Fred and Krystal to deal with the aftermath.

Krystal's Secret Unveiled

Krystal's past and powers revealed

In the safety of her apartment, Krystal explains her heritage to Fred. She is part of a bloodline that binds devils, granting her incredible powers and immortality until she passes the curse to a daughter. Fred learns that Krystal's agency role is to manage supernatural threats, and her powers are both a blessing and a curse.

A New Understanding

Fred and Krystal's relationship deepens

Despite the dangers and secrets, Fred and Krystal reaffirm their commitment to each other. Fred realizes that his life, though more dangerous, is also more fulfilling with Krystal and his friends. They agree to face future challenges together, embracing their unique roles in the supernatural world.

Characters

Fredrick Frankford Fletcher

Reluctant vampire hero

Fred is a vampire who struggles with his new identity, preferring a quiet life as an accountant. Despite his fears, he shows courage and loyalty to his friends, ultimately embracing his role in the supernatural world.

Krystal Jenkins

Agent with a devilish secret

Krystal is Fred's girlfriend and a government agent who manages supernatural threats. Her hidden power as a devil vessel makes her a formidable force, though it complicates her relationship with Fred.

Quinn Thames

Manipulative vampire sire

Quinn is Fred's sire, who seeks to unleash Fred's potential as a monster. His plans are thwarted by Fred's friends and Krystal's unexpected powers.

Beauregard

Therian-draining vampire lackey

Beauregard is Quinn's powerful henchman, enhanced by drinking therian blood. He is ultimately defeated by Krystal's devilish transformation.

Neil

Young necromancer apprentice

Neil is a friend of Fred's, learning magic under Amy's guidance. His quick thinking and spellcasting play a crucial role in the rescue mission.

Albert

Cheerful zombie assistant

Albert is Fred's loyal assistant, providing support and comic relief. His unwavering optimism helps keep the group together.

Amy Wells

Brilliant alchemist and mentor

Amy is Neil's mentor and a skilled alchemist. Her potions and knowledge are vital to the group's success in rescuing Krystal.

Bubba Emerson

Loyal weresteed ally

Bubba is a weresteed who aids Fred in his quest to save Krystal. His strength and courage are invaluable in the face of danger.

Richard

Powerful weremayor

Richard is the leader of the therians in the area, who assists Fred due to his connection with Amy. His strength and authority are crucial in the group's efforts.

Gideon

Mysterious dragon in disguise

Gideon is a dragon posing as a child, with immense power and influence. His presence adds a layer of complexity to the supernatural dynamics.

Plot Devices

Mortis Invictus Spell

Amplifies vampire powers dangerously

This spell is central to Quinn's plan to turn Fred into a monster. It enhances a vampire's abilities but also increases aggression and bloodlust, making it a double-edged sword.

Krystal's Devil Heritage

Source of her hidden power

Krystal's ability to transform into a devil is a key plot device, revealing her true strength and complicating her relationship with Fred. It serves as both a blessing and a curse.

Supernatural Alliances

Network of powerful allies

Fred's connections with various supernatural beings, including Richard and Gideon, highlight the importance of alliances in navigating the parahuman world. These relationships are crucial to overcoming challenges.

Analysis

Exploration of identity and power

"The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant" delves into themes of identity, power, and the struggle to balance one's nature with societal expectations. Fred's journey from a timid accountant to a courageous vampire reflects the broader human experience of self-discovery and acceptance. The novel also examines the complexities of relationships in a world where supernatural elements add layers of danger and intrigue. Through humor and heart, Drew Hayes crafts a narrative that challenges traditional vampire tropes, offering a fresh perspective on the genre.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.86 out of 5
Average of 15k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant receives mixed reviews. Many readers find it a humorous, light-hearted take on vampire fiction, praising its unique premise and likable characters. The episodic structure and Fred's character growth are appreciated by some. However, others criticize the repetitive nature of the storytelling, lack of depth, and occasional misogynistic undertones. The audiobook narration by Kirby Heyborne is highly praised. Overall, the book is seen as a fun, easy read that subverts vampire tropes, though it may not appeal to all readers.

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About the Author

Drew Hayes is an American author known for his unconventional approach to fantasy and urban fantasy genres. He specializes in web serials and has gained popularity for his unique storytelling style. Hayes is recognized for creating relatable, often underdog characters who grow throughout his narratives. His writing is characterized by humor, witty dialogue, and a focus on character development. While some readers find his work repetitive or lacking depth, many appreciate his ability to blend comedy with fantasy elements. Hayes has published several series, with "Fred, the Vampire Accountant" being one of his most well-known works.

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