Certified Public Parahuman

Fredrick "Fred" Fletcher, a mild-mannered vampire and accountant, celebrates earning his Certified Public Parahuman Accountant (CPPA) license. This new credential allows him to serve supernatural clients—parahumans—who have their own labyrinthine tax codes. Fred's circle includes his girlfriend Krystal (a powerful agent), his loyal zombie assistant Albert, necromancer Neil, were-creature Bubba, and alchemist Amy. Fred's new status quickly lands him a job with Richard, the local therian (were-creature) leader, setting the stage for Fred's immersion into the complex, bureaucratic, and often dangerous world of supernatural society. The chapter establishes Fred's unique blend of mundane supernaturalism and the everyday anxieties of professional life, setting a tone of dry humor and self-deprecation.

Therian Politics and Paperwork

Fred's first big client is Richard, the imposing alpha of the city's therians. To do Richard's taxes, Fred must endure elaborate rituals of respect and etiquette, highlighting the strict, animalistic social order of the were-community. Richard's paperwork is a nightmare, reflecting the chaotic lives of parahumans. Fred's humility and honesty win Richard's trust, but the job is complicated by the presence of Richard's daughter Sally and the terrifying dragon Gideon, who is both a houseguest and Sally's playmate. The chapter explores the intersection of supernatural power, tradition, and the mundane supernaturalism of tax season.

Kidnapping at Tax Time

While working at Richard's, Fred is drawn into a kidnapping plot when Sally is abducted by rival therians seeking leverage over Richard. Fred is taken hostage as well, bound in silver (which weakens parahumans). The kidnappers, led by Orson, hope to force Richard to surrender his position. Fred's primary concern is Sally's safety, and he tries to keep her calm. The situation is tense, with Fred's usual passivity challenged by the need to protect a child in a world where violence is the norm.

Dragon's Blood Bargain

As the kidnappers plan their next move, the true power in the city reveals itself: Gideon, the ancient dragon, arrives. His presence is so overwhelming that even Fred, a vampire, is paralyzed by fear. Gideon entrusts Sally's safety to Fred, giving him a drop of dragon blood that temporarily grants Fred immense power and immunity to Gideon's aura. Fred escapes with Sally while Gideon deals with the kidnappers in a manner both final and terrifying. The experience leaves Fred shaken but alive, and he delivers Sally safely back to Richard.

The Unlikely Champion

Back at home, Fred's assistant Albert accidentally unsheathes the Blade of the Unlikely Champion, a magical weapon that chooses its own wielder. This is unprecedented, as no zombie has ever been chosen by such a weapon. The event triggers a response from the Agency, which whisks Fred, Albert, and their friends to a secure facility for testing. The group's loyalty and concern for Albert are tested as he faces an uncertain fate, and the narrative explores themes of destiny, agency, and the burdens of power.

Convention of the Supernatural

Fred, Krystal, Bubba, and others attend CalcuCon, a convention for parahumans. The event is both a celebration and a recruitment opportunity for the Agency. Krystal's booth features magical weapons seeking their destined owners. The convention is a microcosm of supernatural society, full of rivalries, paranoia, and the ever-present threat of chaos. Fred's insecurities about his relationship with Krystal are highlighted by the presence of her old friend (and ex-fiancé's sister) June, a half-fey agent.

Weapons of Destiny Stolen

During a blackout, three powerful weapons are stolen from the Agency's booth. Krystal, June, Bubba, and Fred must recover them before word gets out, as the Agency's reputation for invincibility is at stake. Fred and June team up to track the thief, leading to a tense and revealing hunt through the convention center. The theft is ultimately revealed to be a test orchestrated by June to assess Fred's character and suitability as Krystal's partner, blending supernatural intrigue with personal drama.

Fey Games and Friendship

The pursuit of the thief leads Fred and June onto the catwalks above the convention floor, where June's fey magic and cunning are on full display. When June is seemingly thrown to her death, Fred risks himself to save her, only to discover it was all a ruse. June's brownie accomplice returns the stolen weapons, and June admits the whole ordeal was a test. Fred's selflessness and honesty win June's grudging respect, and the episode cements his place in Krystal's life, while also highlighting the unpredictable, often manipulative nature of fey and Agency politics.

Zombie with a Sword

The Agency subjects Albert to a series of tests to determine if it's safe for a zombie to wield a weapon of destiny. The group's bonds are tested as Neil, Albert's creator and best friend, struggles with guilt and fear for Albert's safety. The trial is both physical and magical, culminating in a battle against a chimera. Neil's intervention, enabled by Amy's magical support, allows Albert to triumph not through violence, but by using the sword's power to unmake the chimera's suffering, demonstrating compassion and the unique magic of chosen family and found community.

The Chimera Trial

In the arena, Albert's refusal to kill needlessly and Neil's willingness to risk everything for his friend result in an unprecedented outcome: the sword's magic unravels the chimera, restoring its component animals rather than destroying it. The Agency, represented by Arch, offers Albert a place as a trainee, but Albert chooses to remain with his friends, asserting his right to define his own destiny. The episode explores the themes of free will, the power of kindness, and the importance of chosen family and found community.

Haunted House Hostage

Fred's next client meeting turns into a supernatural hostage crisis when the bed-and-breakfast is revealed to be a sentient, mage-animated house named Charlotte. The house, threatened by redevelopment, traps Fred and several humans inside, demanding a solution. Fred's accounting skills and knowledge of parahuman law become the key to resolving the standoff, as he drafts a contract that grants Charlotte legal ownership of herself, using obscure supernatural legal precedents. The chapter is a clever blend of legal drama, horror, and Fred's unique brand of supernatural problem-solving.

Legal Loopholes and Ghosts

With the help of his old colleague Asha, who is initiated into the world of parahumans, Fred navigates the legal complexities of supernatural property law. The group's survival hinges on their willingness to accept the impossible and sign binding contracts. Fred's empathy and professionalism win Charlotte's trust, and the crisis is resolved without violence. The episode underscores the power of magical bureaucracy and legalism, the importance of compassion, and the value of seeing the humanity (or house-ness) in others.

Dragon Impostor Unmasked

At a formal gala celebrating therian unity, Fred senses that Gideon, the King of the West, has been replaced by an impostor dragon named Sinorah. With the help of Krystal, Arch, Amy, and Bubba, Fred investigates, discovering that the real Gideon is magically imprisoned within the building. The impostor's plot is part of a larger power struggle among dragons and therians, threatening the safety of everyone present. The chapter is a tense blend of espionage, magical politics, and Fred's reluctant heroism.

Gideon's Prison Break

To free Gideon, Fred must enter a magically warded prison and accept a dangerous infusion of dragon blood, allowing Gideon to work magic through him. The process is harrowing, nearly destroying Fred, but succeeds in breaking the spell. Gideon is freed, the impostor is unmasked, and the true power of dragons is revealed. The aftermath is chaotic, with the city's supernatural order shaken and Fred left changed by his brush with draconic magic.

Aftermath and New Beginnings

In the wake of the gala's destruction, Fred recovers with Krystal and their friends. The city's supernatural politics are in turmoil, but Fred's circle is safe. Arch, the enigmatic agent, becomes Charlotte's first tenant, and Fred's immunity to silver—an unexpected side effect of his dragon-blood ordeal—marks him as something unique even among vampires. Fred and Krystal finally express their love for each other, and Fred reflects on the strange, dangerous, and unexpectedly meaningful life he's built as an undead accountant in a world where the supernatural and the mundane are inseparable.

Characters

Fredrick "Fred" Fletcher

Fred is the heart of the story: a recently turned vampire who clings to his humanity through his work as an accountant. He is anxious, self-deprecating, and prefers paperwork to adventure, but repeatedly finds himself in the center of supernatural crises. Fred's greatest strength is his empathy and integrity—he solves problems through honesty, cleverness, and a refusal to abandon those in need. His relationships with Krystal, Albert, and his friends ground him, and his journey is one of reluctant growth, as he learns to accept both the burdens and the joys of his new life.

Krystal Jenkins

Krystal is Fred's girlfriend and a high-ranking agent in the supernatural world, tasked with enforcing the peace and upholding the secret treaties that govern parahuman society. She is tough, brash, and fiercely loyal, with a devil's power lurking beneath her human exterior. Krystal's relationship with Fred is both a source of strength and vulnerability; she pushes him to grow, but also fears for his safety. Her own past, including a broken engagement and complicated friendships, adds depth to her character, and her development is tied to learning to trust and express her feelings.

Albert

Albert is Fred's assistant, a zombie raised by his best friend Neil. Despite his undead status, Albert is cheerful, earnest, and eager to help. His accidental selection by the Blade of the Unlikely Champion thrusts him into a role of unexpected importance, challenging both his self-image and the prejudices of the supernatural world. Albert's journey is one of self-acceptance and agency, as he chooses to define his own destiny rather than be shaped by others' expectations.

Neil

Neil is Albert's creator and closest friend, a young necromancer whose ambition and insecurity often get him into trouble. His relationship with Albert is both a source of guilt and redemption, as he struggles with the consequences of bringing his friend back from the dead. Under Amy's tutelage, Neil learns responsibility and the true meaning of strength, culminating in his willingness to risk everything for Albert's safety.

Amy Wells

Amy is a master alchemist and Neil's teacher, known for her eccentricity, brilliance, and frequent self-experimentation. She is the group's magical expert, providing both comic relief and crucial support in crises. Amy's calm, analytical approach balances the group's more impulsive members, and her deep understanding of magic often provides the key to solving supernatural problems.

Bubba Emerson

Bubba is a therian (were-creature) who can transform into a horse, defying the usual werewolf stereotype. He is physically imposing but emotionally sensitive, serving as both muscle and moral compass for the group. Bubba's loyalty and wisdom make him a stabilizing force, and his struggles with vulnerability and powerlessness during magical suppression highlight the psychological costs of supernatural life.

Richard Alderson

Richard is the head of the city's therians, a powerful and respected leader who balances strength with compassion. His primary motivation is the safety of his daughter Sally, and his alliance with Gideon is both political and deeply personal. Richard's willingness to trust Fred and his friends reflects his openness to change, and his struggles with the burdens of leadership add depth to his character.

Gideon (King of the West)

Gideon is the city's resident dragon, a being of immense power and inscrutable motives. He serves as Sally's guardian and playmate, but his true nature is both awe-inspiring and terrifying. Gideon's actions—granting Fred his blood, orchestrating Sally's protection, and ultimately being imprisoned by a rival—drive much of the plot's supernatural intrigue. His relationship with Sally, and the revelation of her importance as a potential tiamat, hint at deeper mysteries in the parahuman world.

Arch

Arch is a senior agent whose calm, detached demeanor masks formidable power and experience. He serves as both antagonist and ally, testing Albert, enforcing the Agency's will, and ultimately helping to save the city. Arch's true nature is left ambiguous, but his actions reveal a deep commitment to order and a grudging respect for Fred and his friends.

Charlotte

Charlotte is a mage-animated house who becomes both antagonist and ally. Her fear of destruction leads her to take hostages, but Fred's empathy and legal acumen allow her to claim her own destiny. Charlotte's story is a metaphor for the struggle for agency and belonging, and her eventual partnership with Arch provides a hopeful coda to the narrative.

Plot Devices

Mundane Supernaturalism

The novel's core device is the collision of the mundane (accounting, taxes, conventions, legal contracts) with the supernatural (vampires, dragons, magic). This juxtaposition grounds the fantastical in relatable anxieties and humor, making the world both believable and absurd. Fred's perspective as a reluctant participant highlights the gap between expectation and reality in supernatural life.

Chosen Family and Found Community

The narrative repeatedly emphasizes the importance of chosen family—friends who become more than blood. Fred's group is a patchwork of outcasts and oddballs, each with their own traumas and insecurities. Their loyalty, mutual support, and willingness to risk everything for each other are the true sources of strength in a world where power is often defined by violence.

Magical Bureaucracy and Legalism

The story subverts traditional fantasy tropes by making bureaucracy, contracts, and legal loopholes the tools of heroism. Fred's accounting skills and knowledge of supernatural law repeatedly save the day, demonstrating that intelligence, empathy, and attention to detail can be as powerful as magic or brute force.

Subversion of Heroic Destiny

The "weapons of destiny" motif is used to question the idea of fate and heroism. Albert, a zombie, is chosen by a legendary sword not for his strength, but for his compassion. Fred, the least likely hero, becomes the linchpin in crises not by fighting, but by refusing to abandon others. The narrative structure repeatedly foreshadows disaster, only to resolve it through unexpected acts of kindness, cleverness, or self-sacrifice.

Foreshadowing and Misdirection

The story uses foreshadowing—Fred's anxieties, the presence of powerful beings, the threat of violence—to build tension, but often resolves conflicts in ways that defy genre expectations. The real dangers are often psychological or bureaucratic, and the true victories are those of empathy and community rather than conquest.

Analysis

Undeath and Taxes is a witty, subversive urban fantasy that reimagines the supernatural not as a realm of epic battles and dark romance, but as a world of paperwork, awkward social dynamics, and the quiet heroism of doing the right thing when no one else will. Drew Hayes uses Fred's perspective to explore themes of agency, belonging, and the value of ordinary virtues—kindness, honesty, and perseverance—in a world obsessed with power and destiny. The novel satirizes both fantasy tropes and modern bureaucracy, suggesting that real strength lies not in magical might, but in the courage to care, the humility to ask for help, and the wisdom to find solutions that don't require violence. In a time when many feel powerless or out of place, Fred's journey offers reassurance: you don't have to be a hero to make a difference—you just have to show up, do the work, and look out for your friends.

Last updated: May 19, 2025