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What Every Woman Wants in a Man/What Every Man Wants in a Woman

What Every Woman Wants in a Man/What Every Man Wants in a Woman

10 Essentials for Growing Deeper in Love |10 Qualities for Nurturing Intimacy
by John Hagee 2015 322 pages
3.97
100+ ratings
Marriage
Christianity
Spirituality
Listen
11 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. Communication is Key: Honesty and Open Dialogue Foster Strong Marriages

Communication is to love what blood is to the body. When it stops flowing, your marriage dies.

Open and honest communication is the lifeblood of a healthy marriage. It involves not just talking, but actively listening and understanding your partner's perspective. Effective communication requires:

  • Sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment
  • Listening attentively without interrupting or planning your response
  • Being honest about your needs, desires, and concerns
  • Addressing issues promptly rather than letting them fester

Overcoming communication barriers is crucial. This may involve:

  • Setting aside dedicated time for meaningful conversations
  • Learning to express emotions constructively
  • Practicing empathy and putting yourself in your partner's shoes
  • Seeking professional help if communication breakdown persists

Remember, good communication is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. It requires patience, practice, and a willingness to be vulnerable with your spouse.

2. Mutual Respect and Appreciation: The Foundation of a Healthy Relationship

Respect at this level is earned. A cardinal rule to follow when desiring this treasured form of respect is to give equal amounts of it away.

Cultivating mutual respect involves recognizing and valuing your partner's unique qualities, contributions, and perspectives. This respect forms the foundation of a strong, lasting relationship. To foster respect:

  • Acknowledge and appreciate your partner's efforts and achievements
  • Avoid criticism and contempt, even during disagreements
  • Treat your spouse as an equal partner in decision-making
  • Show consideration for your partner's feelings and opinions

Expressing appreciation regularly strengthens the bond between partners. Simple gestures can make a significant impact:

  • Verbalize gratitude for both big and small actions
  • Write notes or leave small gifts to show you care
  • Compliment your spouse in front of others
  • Remember and celebrate important dates and milestones

By consistently demonstrating respect and appreciation, couples create a positive cycle that reinforces love and strengthens their connection over time.

3. Faithfulness and Trust: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

If you keep your vows, they will keep your marriage.

Faithfulness goes beyond physical fidelity. It encompasses emotional and mental loyalty to your spouse. Building trust requires:

  • Maintaining appropriate boundaries with others
  • Being transparent about your activities and relationships
  • Avoiding situations that could lead to temptation
  • Prioritizing your spouse's feelings and needs

Trust is earned through consistent actions over time. To build and maintain trust:

  • Keep your promises, no matter how small
  • Be reliable and dependable in your actions
  • Admit mistakes and take responsibility for your actions
  • Share your thoughts and feelings openly

Remember that trust can be easily broken but takes time and effort to rebuild. Protecting your marriage from infidelity involves a daily commitment to honesty, transparency, and prioritizing your relationship above all others.

4. Balancing Leadership and Partnership in Marriage

Wives, follow your husband's lead, and husbands, meet your wife's need.

Effective leadership in marriage is not about domination but about serving and guiding the family with love and wisdom. This involves:

  • Making decisions that benefit the entire family
  • Taking responsibility for the family's well-being
  • Seeking input and valuing your spouse's perspective
  • Leading by example in areas like spirituality and personal growth

Partnership is equally important in a strong marriage. This means:

  • Sharing responsibilities and decision-making
  • Supporting each other's goals and dreams
  • Working together to solve problems and overcome challenges
  • Respecting each other's strengths and compensating for weaknesses

The key is to find a balance that works for your unique relationship, based on your individual strengths, values, and circumstances. This balance may shift over time, requiring ongoing communication and adjustment.

5. The Power of Forgiveness and Letting Go of Past Hurts

Forgiveness is not a feeling we achieve but a choice we make. Granting forgiveness is not always easy. At times it is the hardest thing we will ever do.

Forgiveness is crucial for healing and moving forward in a marriage. It involves:

  • Acknowledging the hurt and its impact on you
  • Choosing to let go of resentment and the desire for revenge
  • Extending grace to your spouse, even when it's difficult
  • Committing to not bring up past offenses in future arguments

The process of forgiveness often includes:

  • Open communication about the hurt and its effects
  • Expressing genuine remorse and a commitment to change (for the offending party)
  • Rebuilding trust through consistent actions over time
  • Seeking professional help if needed to work through deep-seated issues

Remember that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing harmful behavior. It's about freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment, allowing your relationship to heal and grow stronger.

6. Financial Responsibility and Shared Goals in Marriage

Remember this rule: you will seldom find something as much fun to own as it is to look forward to owning.

Financial harmony is essential for a stable marriage. This involves:

  • Open communication about finances, including income, debts, and spending habits
  • Creating a shared budget and financial goals
  • Agreeing on spending priorities and savings strategies
  • Making major financial decisions together

Developing financial responsibility as a couple includes:

  • Living within your means and avoiding unnecessary debt
  • Saving for the future (retirement, emergencies, children's education)
  • Being generous with each other and in charitable giving
  • Seeking professional financial advice when needed

Remember that money is often a source of conflict in marriages. By approaching finances as a team and aligning your goals, you can reduce stress and build a stronger foundation for your future together.

7. Nurturing Romance and Intimacy Throughout the Years

Romance is so much more. Romance lasts. Romance generates a love so deep that if sex were not possible for whatever reason, love would still grow.

Keeping romance alive requires intentional effort and creativity. Some ways to nurture romance include:

  • Regular date nights or quality time together
  • Expressing affection through words, touch, and thoughtful gestures
  • Surprising your spouse with small gifts or acts of kindness
  • Maintaining physical intimacy and exploring new ways to connect

Intimacy goes beyond physical connection. It involves:

  • Emotional closeness and vulnerability
  • Sharing hopes, dreams, and fears
  • Supporting each other through life's challenges
  • Creating shared experiences and memories

Remember that romance and intimacy may look different as your relationship evolves. The key is to prioritize your connection and find new ways to express love and affection throughout the different stages of your marriage.

8. Embracing Differences: Understanding and Adapting to Your Spouse

We must learn to adapt to these differences.

Recognizing and appreciating differences is crucial for a harmonious marriage. This involves:

  • Understanding that men and women often communicate and process emotions differently
  • Accepting that your spouse may have different needs, preferences, and ways of showing love
  • Valuing the unique strengths and perspectives your partner brings to the relationship
  • Avoiding the temptation to change your spouse to fit your ideal

Adapting to differences requires:

  • Learning your spouse's love language and how they best receive affection
  • Compromising on issues where you disagree
  • Finding common ground and shared interests
  • Celebrating the ways your differences complement each other

Remember that differences can be a source of strength in a marriage, bringing balance and growth to both partners. The key is to approach them with curiosity, respect, and a willingness to learn and adapt.

9. The Importance of Spiritual Connection in Marriage

When we come to Him united, in one accord, as husband and wife, and lay our needs at His altar, our Lord makes a promise to us.

Shared faith can provide a strong foundation for marriage. This involves:

  • Praying together regularly
  • Studying religious texts or attending services as a couple
  • Discussing spiritual matters and supporting each other's growth
  • Making decisions based on shared values and beliefs

Spiritual connection can enhance marriage by:

  • Providing a sense of purpose and shared mission
  • Offering comfort and guidance during difficult times
  • Fostering forgiveness and grace in the relationship
  • Creating a legacy of faith for future generations

Even if partners have different beliefs, respecting each other's spiritual journey and finding common values can strengthen the relationship. The key is to approach spiritual matters with openness, respect, and a desire for mutual understanding.

10. Raising a Family Together: Teamwork in Parenting

A parent is only as happy as their saddest child.

Effective parenting requires a united front and shared responsibilities. This involves:

  • Agreeing on parenting styles and discipline methods
  • Supporting each other's decisions in front of the children
  • Dividing childcare duties and household responsibilities
  • Making time for both individual and family activities

Building a strong family includes:

  • Creating family traditions and rituals
  • Fostering open communication with children
  • Teaching values and life skills through example
  • Balancing the needs of the marriage with the demands of parenting

Remember that a strong marriage provides the foundation for a healthy family. Prioritizing your relationship with your spouse benefits your children by providing them with a model of love, respect, and commitment.

Last updated:

Review Summary

3.97 out of 5
Average of 100+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

What Every Woman Wants in a Man/What Every Man Wants in a Woman receives positive reviews, with readers praising its biblical insights, personal anecdotes, and practical advice for nurturing relationships. Many find it helpful for both married and single individuals seeking to understand gender perspectives in relationships. The book is appreciated for its humor, transparency, and focus on putting God at the center of relationships. Some readers note it's more traditional in approach, while others find it eye-opening. A few mention it's geared more towards married couples than singles.

Your rating:

About the Author

John Hagee is a pastor, author, and televangelist based in San Antonio, Texas. He leads the 17,000-member Cornerstone Church and produces three television programs reaching millions of homes. Hagee is known for his straightforward preaching style, often incorporating humor and addressing contemporary issues through a biblical lens. He comes from a family of preachers and is regarded as a pastor to other pastors. Along with his wife Diana, Hagee has written several books and is active in spreading Christ's message throughout the Northern Hemisphere. The couple has five adult children and resides in Texas with their extended family.

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