When Ghosts Speak

1. The Gift of Sight: Communicating with Earthbound Spirits

I HAVE BEEN seeing spirits and professionally communicating with them for more than twenty-five years, and the only time I have ever heard of a ghostbuster was watching Dan Aykroyd battle with slime in the Ghostbuster movies.

A unique ability. Mary Ann Winkowski possesses the rare ability to see and communicate with earthbound spirits, a gift she discovered as a toddler and which was nurtured by her Italian grandmother. Unlike mediums who speak with spirits that have "crossed over" into the Light, Mary Ann interacts directly with those who remain tethered to the earthly plane. This distinction is crucial, as earthbound spirits retain their human personalities and limitations, offering no special wisdom or foresight.

Early development. Her grandmother, who had her own "gift" for lifting curses, recognized Mary Ann's ability when she was just two years old, conversing with a recently deceased neighbor. From age four, Mary Ann accompanied her grandmother to funerals, acting as an interpreter between the living and the dead. This early exposure normalized her unique perception, allowing her to develop her skills without fear or skepticism from her primary caregiver.

A practical calling. Over decades, Mary Ann's gift evolved from a family secret to a full-time career as a paranormal investigator. Her work involves helping both the living and the dead find peace, often by relaying messages or convincing spirits to move on. Her practical, no-nonsense approach, as exemplified by her consultation for the TV series Ghost Whisperer, highlights that her daily encounters are far more mundane and less dramatic than Hollywood portrayals.

2. Ghosts Are Just Dead People: Separating Fact from Fiction

Ghosts are merely human beings who have died.

Not monstrous entities. Contrary to popular media portrayals, ghosts are not physically monstrous, obnoxious, or demonic. They are simply human beings who have died and retain their earthly personalities, memories, and interests. They don't wear white sheets or appear as foggy clouds; they look like regular people, often in the clothes they died in, which can sometimes be a clue to their era.

Energy, not superpowers. Earthbound spirits are pure energy and require metaphysical energy from the living to sustain their existence. They do not siphon electrical current, nor do they possess superpowers like predicting the future or winning lottery numbers. Their influence on the physical world is often indirect, causing disruptions to electronics or subtle temperature changes, which are merely side effects of their energy interacting with ours.

Common misconceptions debunked:

• Cold spots: While subtle temperature shifts can occur, persistent cold spots are usually environmental.
• Walking through walls/people: Ghosts prefer doors and generally move out of the way of the living.
• Physical harm: Ghosts cannot directly kill, stab, or choke a person, though malicious spirits can indirectly influence the environment to cause harm (e.g., tampering with wiring).
• Slime or chains: These are purely fictional elements from entertainment.
• Higher knowledge: Earthbound spirits know they are dead and how they died, but gain no special wisdom about the afterlife or future events.

3. The White Light: A Universal Path to Peace

The white Light that comes to people when they die serves a very practical purpose.

A welcoming presence. The white Light is a manifestation of positive energy, a universal phenomenon that appears to individuals at the moment of death, and sometimes even before, to ease fears and offer comfort. Those experiencing near-death events often describe seeing loved ones in this blindingly bright, peaceful Light, feeling a strong impulse to join them.

The choice to cross over. While the Light is always present for a spirit after death, crossing into it is an act of free will. Spirits have a "grace period" of approximately 72 to 80 hours after their last memorial service during which the Light remains accessible. During this time, they can see and hear their loved ones within the Light, but cannot communicate with them until they themselves step through.

Restoration and evolution. Once spirits cross into the Light, they are restored to their "best selves," shedding any illness, age, or disfigurement they had in life. Mary Ann believes this journey allows spirits to evolve spiritually and emotionally, moving beyond the limitations of their earthly existence. Her role is to make the Light available and encourage spirits to embrace this next stage, without judgment.

4. Why Souls Stay Behind: Unfinished Business and Earthly Attachments

Each earthbound spirit is as much of an individual as he or she was in life, and most of them feel strongly about their reasons for not leaving.

Personal motivations. Spirits remain earthbound for a myriad of reasons, often reflecting their personalities and unresolved issues from life. These reasons range from deep emotional attachments to places, objects, or people, to fears of judgment, desires for revenge, or simply plain nosiness. Mary Ann's role often involves acting as a "paranormal psychiatrist," listening to their fears and grievances to help them find peace.

Common reasons for staying:

• Attachments to possessions: Spirits may cling to cherished items like jewelry, cars, or furniture, refusing to cross over until their fate is settled. The ghost of a butler, for instance, delighted in hiding silverware from a collector who acquired his former family's pieces.
• Fear of judgment: Suicides, or those who felt they committed grave sins, often fear punishment in the afterlife. Mary Ann reassures them that the Light offers a path to peace, regardless of their past actions.
• Seeking revenge or justice: Murder victims may stay to expose their killers, while others harbor grudges against the living. A ghost of an arsonist, murdered by his employer, spent 20 years trying to burn down his killer's house.
• Protecting loved ones: Parents may stay to watch over children, or spouses to comfort their grieving partners, often inadvertently causing more problems through their presence.
• Busybodies and misconceptions: Some stay out of sheer curiosity, enjoying unlimited access to the living, or because they mistakenly believe being a ghost grants them superpowers like predicting lottery numbers.

5. Funerals and Unnatural Deaths: When Spirits Seek Closure or Justice

The fact is: You can expect to attend your own calling hours and funeral.

A final farewell. Almost all spirits attend their own wakes and funerals, observing the mourners, inspecting their bodies, and listening to conversations. This provides a final opportunity for them to witness their send-off before the white Light, which remains for 72-80 hours after the last service, eventually fades. Mary Ann often attends these events to relay specific information or help resolve lingering issues for both the deceased and their families.

Unnatural deaths and unresolved issues. Murders and suicides frequently result in earthbound spirits who refuse to cross over, driven by a need for justice, revenge, or fear of judgment. Mary Ann has worked with law enforcement, providing crucial (though not legally admissible) information from victims about their killers or the circumstances of their deaths. These cases highlight the intense emotional energy that can keep spirits tethered to the earth.

Complex family dynamics. Funerals often reveal deep-seated family secrets or conflicts, which spirits are eager to address. From a father's ghost exposing a son's fraudulent will to a mother's spirit revealing a hidden first child, Mary Ann navigates these delicate situations. She also encounters spirits of suicides who, in modern times, may view death as an act of spite or a new experience, rather than despair, making their transition to the Light particularly challenging.

6. Children and Animals: Unique Spirit Interactions

Children are remarkably in tune with the world of spirits that surrounds us.

Childhood sensitivity. Most living children possess an innate ability to see and sense spirits, often manifesting as "imaginary playmates" or "scary people." This sensitivity typically fades as they grow, influenced by adult skepticism. Mary Ann believes parents should expose children to funerals to demystify death and help them understand it as a natural process, rather than something to fear.

Infant and young child spirits. Mary Ann has never seen the spirits of infants at their funerals, believing they are immediately taken into the Light by guardian angels or deceased relatives. Ghosts of toddlers and young children (under five) are rare but articulate, often staying due to disorientation, fear, or a desire to remain with grieving parents. These young spirits do not age and may wander from home to home, seeking the company of living children.

Teenage and animal spirits. Teenage ghosts, like their living counterparts, are susceptible to influence and often possess high energy, enabling them to cause more significant physical disruptions. They are drawn to high-energy environments like gyms or malls. Animal spirits, too, retain their personalities and loyalties, often staying to comfort owners, protect homes, or complete perceived duties. Mary Ann has observed ghost service dogs, cats, and even racehorses, whose presence can affect living animals and humans.

7. Attracting Spirits: Everyday Actions and High-Energy Environments

The bottom line is, if you have a high-energy, Type A personality; if you have very high levels of physical energy—if you’re a professional athlete or performer, for instance—or if you work outside the home, especially in a job where you interact with the public, it’s likely only a matter of time until you attract a ghost.

Unintentional invitations. Many people unknowingly attract earthbound spirits through various means. Moving into a previously inhabited home, especially one that has been empty for a while or is undergoing renovations, can mean inheriting resident ghosts. These spirits, attached to the place, may become agitated by changes or simply await new sources of energy from the occupants.

Objects as anchors. Secondhand items, antiques, and inherited possessions are common conduits for spirits. Ghosts often remain attached to cherished objects like jewelry, furniture, or even silverware, following them to new owners. A butler's ghost, for example, followed his family's silver collection to a new home, delighting in hiding pieces from the unsuspecting owner.

High-energy magnets. Earthbound spirits are drawn to places and people that generate significant emotional or physical energy. Certain professions and locations are particularly prone to attracting ghosts:

• Healthcare: Emergency rooms, nursing homes, dental offices (due to fear and tension).
• Public spaces: Bars, airports, sports arenas, shopping malls, theaters, movie sets (due to crowds and intense emotions).
• Professions: Police officers, firefighters, lawyers, mental health staff, professional athletes, antique dealers, and even publishing house employees.
• Intentional invitations: Using Ouija boards, holding séances, dabbling in dark witchcraft, or attempting automatic writing are direct invitations for spirits, often leading to unwanted and problematic attachments.

8. Signs You're Not Alone: Recognizing a Spirit's Presence

If three or more of the signs below apply to you or your household and you don’t have a good explanation for any of them, chances are you are living with an earthbound spirit.

Trust your intuition. The most crucial step in identifying a spirit's presence is to trust your gut feeling. Many people instinctively sense "something off" in their home or environment, a feeling of being watched, or an inexplicable unease. Children and animals are often more sensitive to these subtle disturbances, instinctively avoiding certain areas or reacting to unseen presences.

Physical and mental indicators: Earthbound spirits, by drawing energy, can manifest a range of symptoms in the living:

• Headaches: Persistent, unexplained headaches, especially in specific locations.
• Intestinal problems: Chronic discomfort, cramps, or stomach upset.
• Sleep disturbances: Frequent waking, insomnia, or feeling unrested despite adequate sleep.
• Fatigue: Constant muscle aches, heaviness, or general low energy.
• Emotional shifts: Unexplained anxiety, inappropriate anger, or heightened irritation, often leading to conflict in relationships.
• Health issues: Frequent respiratory infections, colds, ear/throat problems, or asthma, particularly in children.
• Sensory experiences: Flickers of light, moving shadows, patches of fog, feeling a breeze, hearing one's name whispered, footsteps, or banging noises.
• Physical contact: Sensations of being touched, covers pulled off, or pressure on the bed.

Environmental disruptions: Spirits can also directly impact their surroundings:

• Moving objects: Small items like keys, checkbooks, or jewelry frequently go missing or are found in unusual places. Larger objects, like furniture, can also be moved by powerful spirits.
• Temperature changes: Fleeting, localized warm or cold spots.
• Electrical/mechanical malfunctions: Lights flickering, bulbs exploding, appliances breaking, computers crashing, or heating/cooling systems failing.
• Children's behavior: Broken toys, "imaginary" friends, or sudden fears of certain rooms.
• Pet reactions: Staring intently at empty spaces, barking/hissing at nothing, or avoiding specific areas.

9. Protecting Yourself: Simple Tools Against Spiritual Influence

If you find that something works for you, then I do not doubt that it does.

Empowerment through protection. While professional help may be needed for persistent or powerful spirits, individuals can take proactive steps to diminish a ghost's impact and protect their environment. It's crucial to avoid actions that empower spirits, such as talking or yelling at them, which provides them with desired attention and energy. Also, laypersons should never use holy water, as it can enrage spirits.

Effective protective methods:

• White Light visualization: Mentally create a bright, protective white Light around yourself, family, home, or objects. This positive energy acts as a shield and can be sent to others for healing or comfort.
• Sea salt cleansing: Sprinkle sea salt on new purchases, around property perimeters, or add to laundry to absorb negative energy and deter spirits. Dispose of used salt carefully, away from your property.
• Energized quince seeds: These small, specially prepared seeds, placed over doorways, prevent spirits from entering a space. They can also be carried for personal protection, but never use them if a ghost is already inside, as it will trap them.
• Smudge sticks: Burning bundles of herbs like sage or sweetgrass and wafting the smoke throughout a home can cleanse negative energy. Regular smudging can weaken spirits, eventually prompting them to leave in search of more energy.
• Blessings: Inviting an ordained minister or religious leader to bless a home can infuse it with positive energy, counteracting spiritual disturbances.
• Other talismans: Various natural items like marigolds, cyprus wood, geraniums, myrrh, rosemary, rowan wood, tobacco, and violets are traditionally believed to offer protection against negative energies.

10. Evil Spirits and Curses: Rare but Real Dangers

The evil spirits I address in this chapter, on the other hand, are specifically used in negative ways—for instance, to give people power when practicing dark arts such as certain forms of black magic or satanism.

Distinct from earthbound spirits. Evil spirits, or dark entities, are fundamentally different from the earthbound spirits of deceased humans. They are not of the Light, were never human, and are purely malevolent energy forms that recycle through the universe. Mary Ann rarely encounters them and finds them unresponsive to communication, offering only menacing glares.

Summoning dark forces. These entities are typically attracted through specific, dangerous rituals like black magic, satanism, or the creation of "portals" (energy openings between worlds). Unlike Ouija boards, which usually attract earthbound spirits, these practices intentionally invite powerful, destructive forces. Unwittingly moving into a home where such rituals were performed can also expose individuals to residual dark energy.

Possession and power. Dark entities can possess individuals who invite them, leading to bizarre behavior, memory loss, and severe mental distress, distinct from the harmless "walk-ins" where a spirit temporarily inhabits a body. These entities possess immense power, capable of moving heavy objects, causing physical harm to pets, and manifesting as shadowy forms or glowing red eyes. Protection involves avoiding dark arts, using cleansing techniques, and seeking guidance from trusted spiritual or religious advisors.