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Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be

Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be

An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania
by Frank Bruni 2015 224 pages
4.02
4.0K ratings
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Key Takeaways

1. Where You Go Doesn't Determine Who You'll Be

Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be

College name isn't destiny. The institution you attend for undergraduate study does not predetermine your future success or worth. Many highly accomplished individuals, including Fortune 500 CEOs, prominent politicians, and leaders in various fields, attended a wide range of colleges, often public universities or less selective private schools, rather than exclusively the Ivy League or similarly ranked institutions.

Diverse paths to the top. Examining the undergraduate alma maters of leaders reveals no single pattern. For example, among the top 10 Fortune 500 CEOs in 2014, only one attended an Ivy League school, with others graduating from universities like Arkansas, Texas, and Auburn. Similarly, a significant portion of U.S. senators and governors attended colleges outside the perceived "Ivy-caliber" circle, demonstrating that diverse educational backgrounds can lead to the highest levels of power and influence.

Real-world examples abound. Stories like Peter Hart's, who was rejected by Michigan and Illinois but thrived at Indiana University, later attending Harvard Business School and landing the same job as a Yale graduate, illustrate this point. His experience at Indiana built his confidence and mettle, proving that the environment and effort matter more than the name on the diploma.

2. Rejection Can Be a Powerful Catalyst for Growth

There’s a beauty to that kind of rejection, because it allows you to find the strength within.

Setbacks build resilience. Experiencing rejection, particularly in the high-stakes college admissions process, can be devastating but ultimately empowering. It forces individuals to confront disappointment, adapt their plans, and discover inner strength and resourcefulness they might not have otherwise tapped into.

Jenna Leahy's story. Jenna, a high-achieving student from a top prep school, was rejected by multiple selective colleges, leaving her feeling "worthless." However, this intense rejection spurred her to apply for opportunities "fearlessly" at the school she attended, Scripps College. This led to transformative experiences like charitable work in Mexico and studying abroad, ultimately culminating in her co-founding a public elementary school serving low-income families.

Finding worth internally. Her journey highlights how overcoming the sting of not being chosen by certain institutions allowed her to separate external validation from her internal sense of worth. This newfound resilience and fearlessness became a driving force behind her significant achievements, demonstrating that navigating setbacks is crucial for success.

3. The Elite College Admissions Game is Deeply Flawed

The admissions game is too flawed and too rigged to be given so much credit.

Arbitrary and subjective. The process of gaining admission to highly selective colleges is far from a pure meritocracy. With acceptance rates plummeting to single digits, the distinctions between qualified applicants become increasingly arbitrary and subjective, often relying on factors beyond academic achievement or potential.

Preferential treatment exists. Significant advantages are given to certain groups, skewing the playing field:

  • Legacies: Children of alumni have significantly higher acceptance rates.
  • Recruited Athletes: Schools prioritize athletes needed for their teams, regardless of academic standing relative to other applicants.
  • Children of Potential Donors/Celebrities: Wealth and connections can open doors.

Inside tracks and manipulation. Social networks and connections can influence decisions, and some families engage in elaborate, even unethical, strategies to package their children for admission. This system rewards privilege and savvy navigation of the process as much as, if not more than, inherent talent or hard work.

4. Admissions Mania Creates Unnecessary Anxiety and Pressure

A sort of mania has taken hold, and its grip seems to grow tighter and tighter.

High stakes, high stress. The intense focus on getting into a small circle of "elite" colleges has created a climate of extreme anxiety and pressure for students and parents, particularly in affluent communities. This mania treats college admission as a make-or-break moment, a "great, brutal culling" that defines a young person's worth and future trajectory.

Excessive applications and coaching. The ease of online applications has led students to apply to a dozen or more schools, treating it like "throwing darts." This fuels the low acceptance rates that schools then use for marketing. A massive, expensive industry of tutors, consultants, and test-prep services has emerged, further escalating the pressure and cost, and suggesting that success can be bought or gamed.

Distorted values. This obsession sends the message that external validation from a prestigious institution is paramount, potentially leading kids to define their self-worth by acceptance or rejection letters. It can overshadow the true purpose of education – intellectual exploration, self-discovery, and developing resilience – in favor of checking the next box on a predetermined path.

5. College Rankings, Especially U.S. News, Are Misleading and Harmful

I think U.S. News & World Report will go down as one of the most destructive things that ever happened to higher education.

Subjective and manipulable criteria. College rankings, particularly the influential U.S. News & World Report list, are based on metrics that are easily manipulated and don't necessarily reflect the quality of education or student experience. Criteria like acceptance rates, spending per student, and peer assessment (often based on reputation, which is influenced by past rankings) incentivize behaviors that may not benefit students or society.

Focus on metrics over learning. The rankings prioritize factors like SAT scores of admitted students and institutional wealth, encouraging schools to chase statistics rather than focusing on educational outcomes, accessibility, or student growth. This creates a perverse incentive structure where schools may prioritize climbing the list over serving their students effectively or keeping costs down.

Shrinking horizons. The quasi-biblical power of these rankings leads students and parents to narrow their focus to a small, familiar list of schools, discarding potentially excellent and better-fitting institutions ranked lower. This limits exploration and reinforces the harmful idea that a school's worth is synonymous with its rank.

6. Success Comes from What You Do At College, Not Just Where You Attend

It’s not where you went to school. It’s how hard you work.

Engagement is key. The value of a college education is derived less from the institution's brand name and more from the student's active engagement and initiative while there. Seeking out mentors, participating in extracurriculars, pursuing internships, and taking ownership of one's learning experience are far more predictive of future success and well-being than the college's selectivity or ranking.

Gallup-Purdue Index findings. A major study confirmed this, finding "no difference in workplace engagement or a college graduate’s well-being if they attended a public or private not-for-profit institution, a highly selective institution, or a top 100-ranked school." What mattered were factors like:

  • Having a professor who cared and encouraged dreams
  • Having an internship or job applying classroom learning
  • Being involved in extracurriculars
  • Working on long-term projects

Developing skills beyond the classroom. People like Dick Parsons (University of Hawaii) and Kevin Reddy (Duquesne) highlight how skills like resilience, resourcefulness, the ability to relate to people, and a strong work ethic, often honed through part-time jobs or navigating challenges, are crucial for success and can be developed at any institution.

7. Diverse Experiences and Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Are Invaluable

Be as curious as you can. Put yourself in situations where you’re not just yielding to what’s familiar.

Growth through discomfort. Attending a college that pushes you outside your established social or geographic comfort zone can be profoundly beneficial. It exposes you to different perspectives, challenges your assumptions, and forces you to develop adaptability and self-reliance.

Examples of transformative experiences:

  • Howard Schultz (Brooklyn to Northern Michigan): Encountering people from different backgrounds broadened his perspective.
  • Condoleezza Rice (Alabama to University of Denver): Discovering a passion for international politics through a professor and engaging actively on campus shaped her career.
  • Dick Parsons (Queens to University of Hawaii): Navigating life far from home built essential confidence and self-sufficiency.

Beyond ethnic diversity. While ethnic and racial diversity are important, true diversity includes socioeconomic backgrounds, geographic origins, and varied life experiences. Campuses that reflect this broader spectrum can provide a richer, more realistic preparation for navigating a complex world.

8. Many Paths Lead to Accomplishment, Often from Unexpected Places

There’s a profoundly diverse collection, reflecting the myriad routes to a corner office.

Success isn't limited to elite alumni. High achievement is found among graduates of a vast array of institutions, not just the most selective ones. From Fortune 500 CEOs and political strategists to Pulitzer Prize winners, MacArthur "geniuses," and successful entrepreneurs, individuals from public universities, less-known private colleges, and even those who didn't finish college have reached the pinnacles of their fields.

Recruiters look beyond brand names. Some employers, particularly in certain industries, prioritize skills and experience over institutional prestige. A Wall Street Journal survey found that recruiters at major companies ranked large state universities like Penn State, Texas A&M, and Illinois higher than most Ivy League schools for entry-level hires, valuing specific training and reliability.

The tech world values meritocracy. In Silicon Valley, demonstrated skills, contributions to open-source projects, and the ability to build products often matter more than where a degree was obtained, or even if one was obtained at all. Companies like Google look for talent in unconventional places, recognizing that innovation comes from diverse backgrounds.

9. Elite Education Can Foster Conformity and Fragility

Our best universities have forgotten that the reason they exist is to make minds, not careers.

Pressure to conform. The intense focus on getting into and succeeding at elite schools can lead students to prioritize checking boxes and following perceived "right" paths (like certain lucrative careers) over genuine intellectual exploration or pursuing their true passions. This can result in a lack of imagination and a fear of risk-taking.

Homogeneity and entitlement. Despite efforts at diversity, many elite campuses remain socioeconomically homogeneous, potentially limiting students' exposure to different realities. Constant validation and a history of easy successes can also foster a sense of entitlement and a lack of resilience when faced with challenges or failure.

The "funnel effect". Studies suggest that students entering elite schools with diverse interests may narrow their focus by graduation, feeling pressured to pursue high-earning, prestigious jobs that are seen as "living up to the degree." This prioritizes careerism over developing a meaningful life philosophy or exploring varied professional paths.

10. Find the College That Fits You, Not Just the Highest Rank

You should try to find a school that fits you.

Match matters more than prestige. The most successful and fulfilling college experiences often come from finding an institution whose culture, programs, and opportunities align with your individual needs, interests, and desired growth, rather than simply chasing the highest-ranked or most prestigious name. This requires self-reflection and exploring a wide range of options.

Hidden gems and unique programs. Beyond the well-known names, there are countless colleges with distinctive strengths, intimate academic environments, accessible professors, and unique programs that can provide an exceptional education and transformative experience. Examples include:

  • Monmouth University's behavioral psychology course at Six Flags
  • St. Lawrence University's wilderness-based Adirondack Semester
  • Denison University's bluegrass music concentration
  • Colleges like Kenyon, William & Mary, and Rochester offering personal attention and opportunities for students to stand out.

Proactive engagement is key. Regardless of the institution, students who are proactive, seek out opportunities, build relationships with faculty, and take ownership of their education are the ones who thrive. The "right fit" is often the place where a student feels empowered and motivated to make the most of their four years.

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Review Summary

4.02 out of 5
Average of 4.0K ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be challenges the obsession with elite colleges, arguing that success depends more on individual effort than school prestige. Bruni uses anecdotes and data to show that many successful people attended less selective schools. He critiques the harmful effects of admissions pressure on students and families. While some reviewers found it repetitive or overly anecdotal, many appreciated its message of looking beyond rankings to find the right college fit. The book resonated particularly with parents and students navigating the stressful admissions process.

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About the Author

Frank Bruni is a prominent journalist and author who has worked for The New York Times in various roles since 1998. He served as the newspaper's restaurant critic, Rome bureau chief, and White House correspondent. Bruni covered George W. Bush's presidential campaign and wrote a bestselling book about him titled "Ambling into History." He has also authored other books, including one on sexual abuse in the Catholic Church. With experience in political reporting, international news, and cultural criticism, Bruni brings a diverse background to his writing. His work often explores social issues and American culture.

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