Without the Mask

1. Embracing identity: Being gay and Mormon is not a contradiction

God did not create me by mistake. I am not the compound of two parts that cannot exist simultaneously.

Reconciling faith and sexuality. Charlie Bird struggled for years to reconcile his gay identity with his Mormon faith, feeling torn between two seemingly incompatible parts of himself. Through prayer, study, and personal revelation, he came to understand that being gay and Mormon are not mutually exclusive. He realized that God created him intentionally, with both his sexuality and spirituality as integral parts of his identity.

Finding divine purpose. Bird discovered that his unique perspective as a gay Mormon allows him to bridge communities and serve others in meaningful ways. He uses his experiences to advocate for greater understanding and inclusion within the church. Rather than viewing his sexuality as a burden, he now sees it as a divine gift that enables him to connect with and help others who are struggling.

2. The power of coming out: Sharing authentically builds stronger relationships

Coming out to Rachel was my first step in learning to trust in another person's true, unconditional love.

Breaking down barriers. Bird initially feared rejection if he revealed his sexuality to loved ones. However, coming out to trusted friends and family members proved transformative. By being vulnerable and authentic, he deepened his relationships and found acceptance he never thought possible.

Creating a support system. Coming out allowed Bird to build a network of allies who could support him through challenges. He learned the importance of surrounding himself with people who accept him fully. This support system became crucial in navigating the complexities of being gay in a conservative religious environment.

Key people Bird came out to:

• Cousin Rachel
• Sisters Anne and Janine
• Brother Sam
• Parents

3. Reframing perspective: Viewing sexuality as a divine gift rather than a flaw

I believe God created me intentionally. I'm not ashamed of who I am, and I trust that God has a plan for me.

Shifting from shame to self-acceptance. Bird spent years viewing his sexuality as a flaw or burden. Through prayer and personal revelation, he reframed his perspective to see being gay as an intentional part of God's plan for him. This shift from shame to self-acceptance was transformative for his mental and spiritual health.

Recognizing unique spiritual gifts. Bird came to understand that his sexuality gives him unique spiritual gifts and perspectives. He developed greater empathy for marginalized groups and an ability to bridge divides between communities. Rather than trying to change or suppress his orientation, he learned to appreciate and utilize it in service of others.

4. Bridling passions: Channeling orientation for spiritual growth

By moving forward at my own pace, seeking a comprehensive view of my orientation, and honoring my agency, I have been able to bridle my passions and partake of Alma's beautiful promise to be filled with love.

Harnessing inner strength. Bird uses the analogy of bridling a powerful horse to describe healthily managing his sexuality. Rather than suppressing or indulging his passions, he learned to guide them productively. This approach allows him to honor his orientation while staying true to his values and faith commitments.

Growing through complexity. Navigating the intersection of faith and sexuality pushed Bird to develop greater spiritual maturity. He learned to seek personal revelation, exercise agency, and find creative solutions to complex challenges. This process of wrestling with difficult questions ultimately strengthened his faith and character.

5. Forgiveness and moving forward: Letting go of past hurts from church leaders

If Jesus could forgive those who drove nails into His wrists, maybe I could forgive those whose words had driven nails into my spirit.

Healing from hurtful rhetoric. Bird struggled with anger over past statements by church leaders that seemed to condemn homosexuality. He realized holding onto this bitterness was toxic and preventing his growth. Through prayer and conscious effort, he chose to forgive past hurts and focus on progress being made.

Recognizing human imperfection. Bird came to understand that even inspired leaders can make mistakes or speak from limited understanding. He learned to separate cultural attitudes from core doctrine, and to seek personal revelation on difficult issues. This approach allowed him to maintain faith while acknowledging the church's evolving stance on LGBTQ issues.

6. Creating safe spaces: Advocating for LGBTQ inclusion in religious communities

We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord.

Speaking up for change. After overhearing homophobic comments in a locker room, Bird felt compelled to advocate for LGBTQ students at BYU. He met with administrators and helped organize the university's first official LGBTQ panel discussion. These efforts helped create more visibility and support for gay students on campus.

Building bridges of understanding. Bird used his platform as Cosmo the Cougar to raise awareness and promote inclusion. By coming out publicly, he challenged stereotypes and showed that gay individuals can be faithful, contributing members of the Mormon community. His advocacy work aims to create spaces where all feel welcome and valued, regardless of sexual orientation.

7. Living authentically: Carving your own path beyond cultural expectations

I'm happiest when I am living how I feel called to live, and it's okay when my path looks different.

Rejecting binary thinking. Bird realized he didn't have to choose between being gay or Mormon – he could authentically be both. He learned to reject the false dichotomy of picking sides and instead chart his own course. This meant sometimes going against cultural norms in both the gay and Mormon communities.

Creating a personal tribe. Rather than trying to fit into preset molds, Bird focused on building relationships with people who accept him fully. He cultivated a diverse group of friends who share his values and support his journey. This "tribe" provides a sense of belonging and allows him to live authentically without compromising his beliefs or identity.

Elements of Bird's authentic path:

• Active church participation
• Openness about sexuality
• Commitment to personal values
• Advocacy for LGBTQ inclusion
• Seeking ongoing revelation

Last updated: November 17, 2024