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Women Who Run With the Wolves

Women Who Run With the Wolves

by Clarissa Pinkola Estés 1996 608 pages
4.12
80k+ ratings
Listen
11 minutes

Key Takeaways

1. Reconnect with the Wild Woman archetype to reclaim your authentic self

"Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women."

The Wild Woman archetype is a primordial force within every woman's psyche, representing her instinctual nature, creativity, and wisdom. This archetype has been suppressed by societal norms and expectations, leading many women to feel disconnected from their true selves.

To reconnect with the Wild Woman:

  • Embrace your natural cycles and rhythms
  • Listen to your inner voice and trust your instincts
  • Engage in creative pursuits that ignite your passion
  • Spend time in nature to reconnect with your primal self
  • Challenge societal expectations that limit your authentic expression

By reclaiming this vital aspect of the feminine psyche, women can tap into their innate power, wisdom, and creativity, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

2. Embrace the Life/Death/Life nature for personal growth and renewal

"To be thought ugly or unacceptable because one's beauty is outside the current fashion is deeply wounding to the natural joy that belongs to the wild nature."

The Life/Death/Life cycle is a fundamental aspect of the wild feminine nature, representing the continuous process of growth, decay, and rebirth. This cycle is essential for personal development and renewal, yet it is often feared or resisted in modern society.

To embrace the Life/Death/Life nature:

  • Accept that endings are necessary for new beginnings
  • Allow yourself to grieve losses and release what no longer serves you
  • Recognize that periods of rest and incubation are vital for creativity
  • Celebrate the cyclical nature of life, rather than seeking constant growth
  • Use times of "death" or dormancy as opportunities for introspection and renewal

By accepting and working with this natural cycle, women can cultivate resilience, adaptability, and a deeper connection to their wild nature.

3. Recognize and overcome societal traps that stifle feminine power

"Women have good reason to refute psychological and physical standards that are injurious to spirit and which sever relationship with the wild soul."

Societal expectations and norms often act as traps that limit women's expression of their true nature and power. These traps can take many forms, from beauty standards to career expectations, and can lead to a disconnection from one's authentic self.

Common traps to be aware of:

  • Perfectionism and the pressure to "have it all"
  • Excessive self-sacrifice and people-pleasing
  • Internalized misogyny and self-criticism
  • Fear of being seen as "too much" or "not enough"
  • Conforming to narrow definitions of success or beauty

To overcome these traps, women must cultivate self-awareness, challenge limiting beliefs, and consciously choose to prioritize their own well-being and authentic expression. This may involve setting boundaries, redefining personal values, and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals who encourage growth and self-acceptance.

4. Cultivate a strong relationship with your intuition and instincts

"Intuition is the treasure of a woman's psyche. It is like a divining instrument and like a crystal through which one can see with uncanny interior vision."

Intuition is a powerful tool for navigating life's challenges and making decisions aligned with one's true self. Many women have been conditioned to doubt their intuition and defer to external authorities, leading to a disconnection from this vital inner resource.

To strengthen your relationship with intuition:

  • Practice regular meditation or quiet reflection
  • Pay attention to bodily sensations and "gut feelings"
  • Keep a journal to track intuitive insights and their outcomes
  • Trust your instincts, even when they contradict logic or others' opinions
  • Cultivate a sense of inner stillness to better hear your intuitive voice

As you develop a stronger connection to your intuition, you'll find that decision-making becomes easier and your life aligns more closely with your authentic desires and values.

5. Honor your cycles of creativity, solitude, and return to self

"When women reassert their relationship with the wildish nature, they are gifted with a permanent and internal watcher, a knower, a visionary, an oracle, an inspiratrice, an intuitive, a maker, a creator, an inventor, and a listener who guide, suggest, and urge vibrant life in the inner and outer worlds."

Women's natural cycles of creativity, solitude, and return to self are essential for maintaining balance and vitality. These cycles mirror the rhythms of nature and are crucial for replenishing energy and fostering personal growth.

Key aspects of honoring your cycles:

  • Recognize the need for periods of solitude and introspection
  • Allow time for creative expression and experimentation
  • Practice regular self-care and nurturing activities
  • Respect your need for rest and rejuvenation
  • Create rituals that mark transitions between different phases

By honoring these natural cycles, women can maintain a deeper connection to their wild nature and cultivate a more balanced and fulfilling life.

6. Develop a healthy balance between ego and soul

"The ego and the soul vie to control the life force. In early life, the ego, with its appetites, often leads; it is always cooking something up that smells really good. The ego is very muscular during this time. It relegates the soul to back porch kitchen duty."

Balancing ego and soul is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. The ego, representing our conscious self and worldly ambitions, must be tempered by the soul's deeper wisdom and connection to the wild nature.

Steps to achieve balance:

  • Recognize when ego-driven desires are overshadowing soul needs
  • Practice regular introspection to connect with your soul's wisdom
  • Set intentions that align with both personal ambition and spiritual growth
  • Cultivate humility and openness to life's lessons
  • Seek experiences that nourish both ego and soul

By developing a harmonious relationship between ego and soul, women can navigate life's challenges with greater ease and authenticity, making choices that honor both their worldly aspirations and their deeper, wild nature.

7. Embrace your dual nature as both civilized and wild

"The wildish nature causes women to remember their reason for being, it encourages them to use their instincts and to understand the cycles of their body, life, and nature."

Women's dual nature as both civilized and wild is a source of tremendous power and creativity. Embracing this duality allows for a fuller expression of the self and a more balanced approach to life.

Aspects of embracing duality:

  • Recognize the value of both rational thinking and intuitive knowing
  • Allow for moments of wildness within structured routines
  • Cultivate relationships that honor both your civilized and wild sides
  • Express yourself creatively in ways that bridge the two aspects
  • Find ways to integrate your wild nature into your daily life

By embracing this duality, women can access a wider range of experiences and capabilities, leading to a richer and more fulfilling life that honors all aspects of their being.

8. Recognize the power of storytelling in accessing feminine wisdom

"Story is far older than the art and science of psychology, and will always be the elder in the equation no matter how much time passes."

Storytelling is a powerful tool for accessing and transmitting feminine wisdom. Ancient myths, fairy tales, and personal narratives all contain deep truths about the female experience and the wild nature.

Ways to harness the power of storytelling:

  • Read and study myths and fairy tales from various cultures
  • Share personal stories with other women to create bonds and insights
  • Use storytelling as a form of self-exploration and healing
  • Create your own stories or rewrite traditional tales from a feminine perspective
  • Pay attention to the stories you tell yourself about your life and experiences

By engaging with stories on a deep level, women can tap into collective wisdom, gain new perspectives on their own experiences, and connect with their wild nature in profound ways.

9. Nurture your inner creative fire and passionate life force

"To cook for the Yaga, one lays a fire—a woman must be willing to burn hot, burn with passion, burn with words, with ideas, with desire for whatever it is that she truly loves."

Creativity and passion are essential aspects of the wild feminine nature. Nurturing these qualities helps women stay connected to their authentic selves and express their unique gifts in the world.

Ways to nurture your creative fire:

  • Engage in regular creative practices, even if they're not "productive"
  • Explore new forms of artistic expression
  • Take risks and embrace the unknown in your creative pursuits
  • Surround yourself with inspiring people and environments
  • Honor your unique creative voice, even if it doesn't fit societal norms

By tending to their inner creative fire, women can maintain a vibrant connection to their wild nature and bring more passion and authenticity to all areas of their lives.

10. Practice self-preservation by identifying and avoiding psychic pitfalls

"In the psychic woods there are many leg traps made of rusted iron that lie just below the leafy green of the forest floor."

Self-preservation is crucial for maintaining a strong connection to one's wild nature. This involves recognizing and avoiding various psychic pitfalls that can drain energy and lead to disconnection from the authentic self.

Common psychic pitfalls to watch for:

  • Over-adaptation to others' expectations
  • Neglecting self-care and personal boundaries
  • Ignoring intuitive warnings about people or situations
  • Becoming trapped in cycles of addiction or self-destructive behaviors
  • Allowing fear to prevent growth and exploration

To practice self-preservation:

  • Regularly check in with your intuition and bodily sensations
  • Set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships
  • Prioritize self-care and activities that nourish your wild nature
  • Seek support from trusted friends or professionals when needed
  • Cultivate awareness of your patterns and triggers

By developing strong self-preservation skills, women can protect their connection to their wild nature and maintain the energy and vitality needed to live authentically and creatively.

Last updated:

Review Summary

4.12 out of 5
Average of 80k+ ratings from Goodreads and Amazon.

Women Who Run With the Wolves receives mixed reviews. Many readers find it deeply empowering and transformative, praising its insights into feminine psychology and use of myths and folktales. They describe it as a spiritual guide for self-discovery and reclaiming one's inner strength. However, some critics find it repetitive, overly metaphorical, and difficult to read. They argue it reinforces gender stereotypes and lacks scientific evidence. Despite its polarizing nature, many readers consider it a powerful resource for personal growth and understanding the female psyche.

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About the Author

Clarissa Pinkola Estés is an American poet, psychoanalyst, and post-trauma specialist with a diverse ethnic background. Born into a family of immigrants and refugees, she grew up in a small rural village near the Great Lakes. Her heritage includes Mexican mestiza, Magyar, and Swabian tribal roots. Estés' writing is heavily influenced by her family's oral traditions and their various occupations as farmers, craftsmen, and equestrians. As a first-generation American, her work often draws from the rich cultural tapestry of her upbringing, blending storytelling with psychological insights to explore the depths of the human experience.

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