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Age of Opportunity

Age of Opportunity

A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens
作者 Paul David Tripp 1997 291 页数
4.44
2k+ 评分

重点摘要

1. 将青少年时期视为机遇,而非生存挑战

青少年时期对我们来说很难,因为它往往会激发我们最糟糕的一面。

转变你的视角。 许多父母带着恐惧和忧虑的心态面对青春期,只希望能够勉强度过。这种消极的心态往往导致因焦虑而产生的反应性育儿。相反,应将青少年时期视为一个独特的成长机会,无论是对孩子还是对自己。

认识到潜力。 这些年提供了无与伦比的机会:

  • 进行关于人生重大问题的深刻、有意义的对话
  • 帮助你的青少年发展批判性思维能力和个人信念
  • 指导他们将圣经智慧应用于现实世界的情况
  • 在共同应对挑战的过程中加强你们的关系

通过将这段时间视为机遇而非威胁,你将自己定位为在关键发展阶段的积极影响者。你的青少年现在比以往任何时候都更需要你积极、目的明确的指导。

2. 关注心灵的改变,而不仅仅是行为的控制

我们不能满足于通过控制行为来达到表面效果的目标。

瞄准根源。 许多父母犯了一个错误,只关注通过规则和惩罚来改变青少年的外在行为。虽然界限很重要,但这种方法未能解决驱动行为的内在心灵问题。

引导心灵。 相反:

  • 进行探讨青少年动机、恐惧和欲望的对话
  • 帮助他们识别影响他们选择的偶像和错误信念
  • 指引他们认识福音的变革力量来改变心灵
  • 通过承认自己需要心灵改变来树立谦逊的榜样

记住,持久的改变来自内心。通过解决心灵问题,你帮助青少年发展内在信念,这些信念将在他们离开家后继续指导他们。

3. 在青少年中培养基于圣经的世界观

我们不能也不应该将敬虔的生活简化为一套规则。

建立基础。 基于圣经的世界观提供了理解和参与世界的框架。这远远超出了背诵圣经经文或遵循一系列的做与不做。

培养智慧。 帮助你的青少年发展:

  • 对上帝的品格和他的救赎计划的深刻理解
  • 将圣经原则应用于复杂现实世界情况的能力
  • 批判性思维能力,以评估文化信息和哲学
  • 认识到他们的信仰应如何影响生活的各个方面

利用日常对话、媒体讨论和生活经历作为机会,帮助青少年通过圣经的视角看待世界。鼓励他们提出问题并与困难概念作斗争,引导他们走向真理,而不仅仅是给他们答案。

4. 准备青少年以救赎的方式与文化互动

我们希望培养能够完全与文化互动而不被其偶像奴役的青少年。

装备,而不是隔离。 许多基督教父母试图通过将青少年与文化影响隔离来保护他们。虽然出发点是好的,但这种方法使青少年在成年后无法与世界互动。

教导辨别力。 相反:

  • 帮助青少年识别和批判文化产品中的潜在世界观
  • 讨论如何作为“盐和光”与文化互动,而不仅仅是消费它
  • 树立榜样,如何欣赏文化中的美好,同时拒绝有害的部分
  • 鼓励青少年成为救赎性文化内容的创造者,而不仅仅是消费者

提供机会让你的青少年在你的指导下练习与文化互动。这可能包括讨论电影、分析歌词或参与社区服务。目标是培养他们明智和救赎性地与周围世界互动的能力。

5. 在青少年中培养对上帝的心

最重要的是,这是我们育儿努力的目标。

优先考虑与上帝的关系。 虽然学术成功、课外成就和社交技能很重要,但培养对上帝的真爱应该是基督教育儿的最高目标。

培养灵性成长。 培养对上帝的心的实际方法:

  • 通过你自己与上帝的关系树立真实信仰的榜样
  • 使家庭崇拜和圣经学习变得有趣和相关
  • 鼓励独立的灵性实践(祷告、读经、写日记)
  • 提供有意义的服务和事工机会
  • 分享你自己生活中上帝信实的故事
  • 为诚实的问题和疑虑创造空间

记住,你不能强迫灵性成长,但你可以创造一个培养它的环境。要有耐心,相信上帝在你青少年生活中的工作,即使进展看起来很慢。

6. 通过成熟为青少年独立做好准备

成功的育儿意味着我们最终会失去这份工作。

逐步释放。 育儿的目标是培养能够独立生活并做出明智选择的成年人。这需要随着青少年的成熟,从控制逐渐转向指导。

培养责任感。 需要发展的关键领域:

  • 对灵性成长的个人责任
  • 健康的关系和冲突解决技能
  • 工作伦理和财务管理
  • 决策和解决问题的能力
  • 自我意识和情商
  • 时间管理和组织技能

在支持的环境中提供越来越多的机会让青少年做决定并面对后果(无论是积极的还是消极的)。提供指导和反馈,但不要急于从每一个困难中拯救他们。这个过程建立了对成年生活的信心和能力。

7. 实施战略性育儿方法

我们需要创造机会,以轻松的方式与青少年谈论重要的事情。

有意图地进行。 在青少年时期进行有效的育儿需要有目的的方法。三个关键策略:

  1. 项目育儿:

    • 确定每个青少年的具体成长领域
    • 设定明确的目标并制定计划来解决这些问题
    • 定期评估进展并根据需要进行调整
  2. 持续对话:

    • 承诺每天进行有意义的互动
    • 提出开放性问题,鼓励自我反思
    • 创造一个青少年感到安全分享的环境
  3. 引导悔改:

    • 引导青少年认识到自己的罪和改变的需要
    • 帮助他们承担认罪和悔改的责任
    • 支持他们做出新的行为承诺

通过实施这些策略,你为持续的门徒训练和成长创造了框架。记住,以谦逊的态度对待你的青少年,认识到你自己也需要成长,并在这个过程中依靠上帝的恩典。

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's Age of Opportunity about?

  • Biblical Parenting Focus: Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp is a guide for parents on raising teenagers with a biblical perspective, viewing the teen years as opportunities rather than challenges.
  • Transformative Approach: It emphasizes engaging in the spiritual development of teens, seeing parents as instruments of God’s grace in their children's lives.
  • Practical Strategies: The book offers strategies to help teenagers internalize biblical truths and develop a heart for God.

Why should I read Age of Opportunity?

  • Hopeful Perspective: The book challenges cultural cynicism about adolescence, presenting the teen years as filled with growth opportunities.
  • Biblical Foundation: Rooted in Scripture, it provides a theological framework for understanding parenting challenges, making it valuable for Christian parents.
  • Practical Application: Filled with advice and real-life examples, it helps parents apply biblical principles in daily interactions with their teens.

What are the key takeaways of Age of Opportunity?

  • View Teens as Opportunities: Tripp encourages seeing the teen years as a "golden age of parenting" for internalizing truth and preparing for adulthood.
  • Focus on the Heart: The book stresses addressing heart issues behind behavior, urging parents to shepherd their children's hearts.
  • Engagement in Spiritual Warfare: Parents are reminded of the spiritual battles in their teens' lives, needing biblical wisdom to face these challenges.

What are the best quotes from Age of Opportunity and what do they mean?

  • "These are not years merely to be survived!": This quote emphasizes the potential for growth and connection during the teenage years.
  • "What controls the heart will direct the life.": It highlights the importance of addressing teenagers' motivations and desires, as these shape their actions.
  • "There is a war out there.": A reminder that teenagers face spiritual challenges, requiring parental vigilance and guidance.

What is the main advice for parents in Age of Opportunity?

  • Engage with Your Teen: Actively engage with teenagers through open communication to build trust and understanding.
  • Focus on Heart Change: Emphasize spiritual and emotional development over mere behavior regulation, helping teens understand their desires.
  • Be a Model of Grace: Demonstrate grace and forgiveness, reflecting Christ's love in parenting.

How does Paul David Tripp define a family in Age of Opportunity?

  • Family as Learning Community: Tripp sees the family as God's primary learning community, where parents teach children about God and His ways.
  • Intentionality in Parenting: He stresses creating an environment where biblical truths are consistently communicated and lived out.
  • Role of Parents: Parents are the primary educators, guiding their children's spiritual and moral development.

What are the ten principles for parenting teens in Age of Opportunity?

  • Principle of Honor: Teach respect and submission to authority, emphasizing honoring God and others.
  • Principle of Grace: Encourage gentle communication, as "a gentle answer turns away wrath."
  • Principle of Truth: Instill honesty, teaching teens to speak truthfully and lovingly.
  • Principle of God’s Glory: Encourage living for God’s glory, shaping decisions and actions accordingly.

How does Age of Opportunity address cultural awareness for teens?

  • Understanding Cultural Influence: Tripp emphasizes recognizing culture's influence on thoughts and behaviors, helping teens navigate wisely.
  • Identifying Voices: Parents should help teens identify influential voices and evaluate them critically.
  • Biblical Perspective: Teach teens to view culture through a biblical lens, discerning alignment with God’s truth.

What is the concept of "project parenting" in Age of Opportunity?

  • Focused Parenting Approach: Set specific goals for each child based on their struggles and needs, rather than addressing every issue at once.
  • Daily Opportunities: Use everyday situations as teaching moments to address these goals.
  • Biblical Goals: Align parenting efforts with biblical principles, focusing on spiritual growth and character development.

How can I implement constant conversation with my teenager as suggested in Age of Opportunity?

  • Daily Check-Ins: Regularly ask open-ended questions to encourage sharing of thoughts and feelings.
  • Active Listening: Show genuine interest in their lives and concerns without jumping to conclusions.
  • Creating a Safe Space: Foster an environment where teens feel safe to express themselves, met with understanding and support.

How does Age of Opportunity suggest parents deal with their own struggles while parenting teens?

  • Recognize Personal Weakness: Acknowledge personal struggles with sin, approaching parenting with humility and grace.
  • Model Repentance: Be willing to confess failures to teenagers, demonstrating humility and the need for forgiveness.
  • Seek God’s Help: Rely on God’s strength and wisdom, praying for guidance and support in the parenting journey.

What steps can I take to lead my teenager to repentance according to Age of Opportunity?

  • Encourage Consideration: Help teens reflect on actions and motivations, seeing behavior in light of God’s truth.
  • Facilitate Confession: Create opportunities for confession without feeling attacked, emphasizing honesty and humility.
  • Promote Commitment and Change: Work with teens to establish a commitment to change, discussing practical steps to align actions with faith.

评论

4.44 满分 5
平均评分来自 2k+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《机会的时代》因其基于圣经的实用育儿建议而备受赞誉。读者们欣赏特里普强调将青少年时期视为机会而非恐惧的观点。该书鼓励父母审视自己的内心,关注孩子的灵性成长,并以恩典和智慧应对挑战。尽管有些人觉得内容重复,但大多数人认为这是基督教父母必读的书,提供了积极的视角,引导青少年走向成熟并与上帝建立牢固的关系。

Your rating:

关于作者

保罗·大卫·特里普是一位基督教作家、演讲者和顾问,1950年出生于俄亥俄州托莱多。他在哥伦比亚圣经学院和改革宗主教神学院学习,培养了对事工和地方教会的热情。特里普曾担任牧师,创办了一所基督教学校,并在多所神学院任教。他是保罗·特里普事工的主席,该事工旨在将基督的转变力量与日常生活联系起来。特里普撰写了许多关于基督徒生活的书籍,以其将圣经原则应用于实际生活情境的能力而闻名。他与妻子卢埃拉居住在费城,致力于帮助人们理解福音在破碎世界中的相关性。

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