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Feeling Good

Feeling Good

The New Mood Therapy
作者 David D. Burns 1980 736 页数
4.06
33.3K 评分
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重点摘要

1. 你的情绪由你的想法创造,而非外部事件

“你此刻的感受,源自你正在思考的念头。”

情绪的认知模型。 认知疗法的核心原则是,我们的情绪并非直接由生活中的事件引发,而是由我们对这些事件的解读所决定。这意味着两个人面对同一情境,因思维不同,感受也会截然不同。

感知的力量。 我们的认知塑造了情绪现实。比如,工作中受到批评时,如果你认为“这证明我无能”,你可能会感到沮丧;而若你想“这是提升的机会”,则可能激发动力。认识到思维与情绪的联系,我们便拥有了改变情绪体验的能力。

实际意义。 这一原则赋予我们掌控情绪的力量。我们不必任由外界环境摆布,而是可以学会识别并调整思维模式,营造更积极的情绪状态。这并非否认现实或强迫乐观,而是培养更平衡、真实的视角。

2. 识别并挑战认知扭曲,改善情绪

“抑郁根本不是情绪障碍!你所有的不良感受,都是扭曲负面思维的产物。”

常见认知扭曲。 伯恩斯博士指出,多种常见的思维模式会导致负面情绪:

  • 非黑即白思维
  • 以偏概全
  • 心理过滤
  • 否定积极
  • 跳跃结论
  • 夸大或缩小
  • 情绪推理
  • “应该”陈述
  • 标签化
  • 个人化

识别扭曲。 克服扭曲的第一步是察觉自己思维中的这些模式,尤其在情绪低落时,养成观察念头的习惯。

挑战扭曲思维。 识别后,下一步是用更理性、平衡的思考去质疑它们。这并非用不切实际的积极思维替代负面想法,而是用更准确、有益的观点代替。诸如“三栏法”等技巧对此过程大有裨益。

3. 通过自我接纳建立自尊,而非依赖成就

“基于成就的自尊是‘伪自尊’,并非真正的自我价值!”

条件性自尊的危害。 许多人将自尊建立在外部因素上,如成就、外貌或他人认可,这种自尊脆弱易碎,稍有挫折或批评便动摇。

自我接纳为根基。 真正的自尊源于无条件接纳自己,无论成败。这并非忽视改进空间,而是认可作为人的内在价值。

实践自我接纳。 建立真实自尊的方法包括:

  • 挑战负面自我对话
  • 关注个人成长而非与他人比较
  • 练习自我慈悲
  • 识别并欣赏自身优点
  • 设定现实目标,庆祝小小胜利

4. 通过行动抗击抑郁,而非等待动力

“动力不是先有的,行动才是!”

动力的误区。 许多人误以为必须先有动力才能行动,结果陷入无所作为、情绪恶化的恶性循环。

行动先于动力。 事实是,采取行动,哪怕是小步伐,也能激发动力、改善情绪。因为:

  • 行动带来成就感
  • 打破反复思考和负面情绪的循环
  • 往往引发积极体验,提升心情

行动策略:

  • 将任务拆分为小而可控的步骤
  • 制定“每日活动计划”以安排和追踪
  • 设定现实目标,达成后自我奖励
  • 采用“反拖延”技巧,如“两分钟法则”
  • 关注过程而非结果

5. 学会面对批评和否定而不失自尊

“你的人生中,从未有一次不被他人的批评所触动——哪怕只是微小的影响。”

重新定义批评。 批评之所以伤人,是因为我们接受其为真并让其定义自我价值。认识到他人观点仅是观点,我们便能在否定面前保持自尊。

应对批评的技巧:

  • 运用“解除武装法”寻找批评中的真理而不内化
  • 练习共情,理解批评者的立场
  • 区分对行为的批评与对人格的否定
  • 将批评视为成长和学习的机会

建立内在认可。 终极目标是培养不依赖他人认可的坚实自尊,这需要自我接纳和自我验证的练习。

6. 克服对他人持续爱与认可的依赖

“爱不是成年人的必需品!”

认可成瘾。 许多人误以为必须不断获得他人的爱与认可才能幸福,这种依赖导致焦虑、抑郁和不满足的人际关系。

挑战认可需求。 伯恩斯博士指出,虽然爱与认可令人愉悦,但并非成人幸福和健康的必需。认清这一点,我们便能摆脱对外部验证的依赖。

培养独立性:

  • 练习独自享受活动
  • 设定个人目标和标准,而非一味寻求他人认可
  • 学会自我情绪和体验的验证
  • 培养多样兴趣和人际关系
  • 练习自我慈悲与接纳

7. 超越职业成就,重新定义成功与自我价值

“你的工作不等于你的价值。”

成就陷阱。 许多人,尤其是西方文化中,将自我价值与职业成就等同,导致工作狂、倦怠,以及因挫折而崩溃的脆弱自尊。

拓展成功定义。 真正的满足源于生活的平衡,包括:

  • 有意义的人际关系
  • 个人成长与学习
  • 对他人的贡献
  • 享受与休闲
  • 身心健康
  • 与个人价值观的契合

实践步骤:

  • 识别并挑战将自尊与成就挂钩的信念
  • 在多方面设定目标,而非仅限职业
  • 练习正念,珍惜当下
  • 定期反思真正重要的事物
  • 庆祝非职业相关的成就与品质

8. 运用共情与自信有效管理愤怒

“愤怒,和所有情绪一样,源自你的认知。”

理解愤怒。 愤怒常因感知到不公或不义而起,但真正激发愤怒的是我们对事件的解读,而非事件本身。

共情的解药。 试图理解对方视角,常能化解愤怒。这并非为不当行为开脱,而是承认他人的人性。

自信沟通。 学会清晰、尊重地表达需求和界限,避免压抑或爆发。技巧包括:

  • 用“我”语句表达感受
  • 聚焦具体行为,避免人身攻击
  • 提出解决方案,而非单纯抱怨
  • 积极倾听对方观点
  • 尽可能协商妥协

9. 通过现实思维应对失落与变化

“悲伤是对负面事件中失落或失望的现实感知所产生的正常情绪。”

区分悲伤与抑郁。 悲伤是对失落的正常健康反应,抑郁则常伴随扭曲思维,放大并延长痛苦。

接受变化与失落。 现实思维包括:

  • 正视失落的事实
  • 允许自己悲伤而不评判
  • 认识变化是生活常态
  • 在困境中寻找意义与成长

应对策略:

  • 练习正念,保持情绪当下体验而不被淹没
  • 挑战对“应当”多快恢复的非现实期待
  • 维持日常作息与自我照顾
  • 寻求他人支持,同时培养自立
  • 关注当前可控之事

10. 通过自我关怀与自我慈悲维护心理健康

“你的价值不是靠你所做的来赚取的。”

自我关怀的重要性。 心理健康需要持续维护,如同身体健康一样,需关注身心情感需求。

自我慈悲胜过自我批评。 许多人误以为严厉对待自己能促使进步,研究却表明,自我慈悲更有助于激励与韧性。

实用自我关怀方法:

  • 优先保证睡眠、营养与运动
  • 设立界限,保护时间与精力
  • 练习放松技巧,如冥想或深呼吸
  • 参与带来快乐与意义的活动
  • 培养支持性人际关系
  • 经常练习感恩与积极自我对话
  • 需要时寻求专业帮助

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy about?

  • Focus on Cognitive Therapy: The book emphasizes cognitive therapy as a method to combat depression by changing negative thought patterns. It presents depression as a treatable condition through understanding and modifying these thoughts.
  • Understanding Depression: Dr. Burns explores the nature of depression, including its symptoms and causes, and explains how cognitive distortions impact mood. He provides tools to help individuals recognize and modify these thoughts.
  • Practical Techniques: The book offers practical exercises and self-help strategies, such as the triple-column technique and Daily Activity Schedule, to empower readers to take control of their mental health.

Why should I read Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Proven Effectiveness: The book is based on cognitive therapy principles that have been shown to be effective in treating depression. Studies indicate significant improvement in mood for many readers.
  • Accessible Self-Help: Written in an engaging and straightforward style, it provides a clear, step-by-step guide to understanding and overcoming depression, making it accessible to anyone struggling with negative emotions.
  • Empowerment Through Knowledge: By learning to challenge negative thoughts, readers can develop a greater sense of self-esteem and autonomy, leading to lasting changes in how one perceives themselves and their circumstances.

What are the key takeaways of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Thoughts Create Feelings: The book emphasizes that "your feelings result from the messages you give yourself," highlighting the connection between thoughts and emotions.
  • Cognitive Distortions: Identifying and challenging cognitive distortions, such as all-or-nothing thinking and overgeneralization, is crucial for recovery from depression.
  • Action Leads to Motivation: Dr. Burns stresses that "motivation follows action," encouraging readers to take small steps to increase motivation and improve mood.

What are the best quotes from Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and what do they mean?

  • "Your feelings result from the messages you give yourself.": This quote highlights the power of self-talk and its impact on emotions, emphasizing that changing thoughts can lead to improved feelings.
  • "Motivation follows action.": Suggests that taking action, even when unmotivated, can lead to increased motivation, encouraging readers to start small and build momentum.
  • "You don't have to earn love or respect on the treadmill.": Emphasizes that self-worth is not contingent on achievements or external validation, encouraging intrinsic value.

What are cognitive distortions according to Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Negative Thinking Patterns: Cognitive distortions are irrational or exaggerated thought patterns that contribute to negative emotions, leading to a skewed perception of reality.
  • Common Examples: Includes all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, and personalization, which reinforce feelings of hopelessness and despair.
  • Impact on Mental Health: These distortions perpetuate cycles of depression and anxiety, making it essential to identify and counteract them for improved mental health.

How does Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy differentiate between sadness and depression?

  • Normal vs. Pathological: Sadness is a normal emotional response to loss, while depression is characterized by persistent negative thoughts and feelings.
  • Impact of Thoughts: Depression results from distorted thinking patterns, leading to feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness, unlike sadness.
  • Emotional Function: Sadness can enhance one's humanity, while depression often leads to paralysis and despair, highlighting the need for treatment.

What specific methods does Dr. Burns recommend in Feeling Good?

  • Triple-Column Technique: Involves writing down negative thoughts, identifying cognitive distortions, and substituting them with rational responses to challenge negative self-talk.
  • Daily Activity Schedule: Encourages planning daily activities to combat do-nothingism, boosting a sense of accomplishment through task completion.
  • Pleasure-Predicting Sheet: Helps individuals predict satisfaction from activities, encouraging engagement even when motivation is low.

How can I improve my self-esteem according to Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Talk Back to Your Inner Critic: Use the triple-column technique to challenge negative self-talk and replace it with rational, self-affirming statements.
  • Practice Self-Endorsement: Regularly acknowledge accomplishments, no matter how small, to counteract the tendency to disqualify positive experiences.
  • Engage in Activities: Schedule enjoyable and productive activities using the Daily Activity Schedule to boost mastery and self-esteem.

How does Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy address the fear of criticism?

  • Empathy Technique: Suggests using empathy to understand the critic's perspective, defusing anger and allowing for constructive conversation.
  • Disarming Technique: Recommends agreeing with the critic respectfully to lower tensions, encouraging collaboration rather than confrontation.
  • Feedback and Negotiation: After disarming, express your viewpoint and negotiate differences, promoting healthier dialogue and mutual understanding.

What is the Lethargy Cycle described in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Cycle of Negative Thoughts: Illustrates how negative thoughts lead to feelings of inadequacy and inaction, resulting in a cycle of inactivity.
  • Emotional Consequences: Leads to feelings of boredom, apathy, and self-hatred, perpetuating the cycle of inactivity.
  • Breaking the Cycle: Recognizing and actively engaging in tasks can disrupt the pattern, leading to increased energy and productivity.

How can I apply the double-column technique from Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Recording Thoughts: Write down negative automatic thoughts in the left-hand column to become aware of specific thoughts triggering negative emotions.
  • Challenging Distortions: In the right-hand column, write rational responses to counter negative thoughts, challenging their validity.
  • Regular Practice: Make this exercise a routine to reinforce healthier thinking patterns, improving emotional management and mental health.

How can I prevent future episodes of depression after reading Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy?

  • Identify Silent Assumptions: Use book techniques to uncover and challenge assumptions predisposing you to depression, key for prevention.
  • Practice Cognitive Techniques: Regularly apply cognitive techniques like the double-column method to manage negative thoughts and reinforce healthier patterns.
  • Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize activities promoting emotional well-being, such as exercise and social connections, enhancing resilience against depression.

评论

4.06 满分 5
平均评分来自 33.3K 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《感觉良好》这本书评价不一。许多读者认为它改变了他们的生活,赞赏其将认知行为疗法以通俗易懂的方式呈现,并提供了实用的练习来应对抑郁和焦虑。有些人喜欢伯恩斯的写作风格和幽默感。然而,也有读者批评这本书内容过时、重复或过于简化,有人觉得语气带有居高临下的感觉,举例不够真实。尽管存在这些争议,许多读者仍然推荐它作为一本有益的自助资源,尤其适合刚接触认知行为疗法概念的人群。

Your rating:
4.42
232 评分

关于作者

大卫·D·伯恩斯是美国精神科医生,现为斯坦福大学医学院荣誉兼职教授。上世纪八十年代,他凭借畅销书《感觉良好:新情绪疗法》等作品,推动了认知行为疗法的普及,因而声名鹊起。伯恩斯将其成功很大程度上归功于1988年在菲尔·多诺休脱口秀节目中的亮相。他的研究致力于让认知行为疗法技术为大众所理解和应用,帮助人们有效应对抑郁和焦虑。伯恩斯持续撰写并出版有关心理健康的著作,最新作品聚焦于抑郁和焦虑的治疗方法。

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