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The Lost Art of Connecting

The Lost Art of Connecting

The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships
作者 Susan McPherson 2021 224 页数
4.04
100+ 评分
Listen to Summary

重点摘要

1. 连接的艺术:问“我能帮什么忙?”

“我能帮什么忙?”

转变心态。 不要以“对我有什么好处”的态度来进行社交,而是专注于如何为他人服务。这个简单的问题立即将你置于提供价值的位置,而不是寻求获取。这创造了更平衡和真实的互动,为有意义的关系奠定了基础。

创造价值交换。 通过询问你能如何帮助,你打开了互惠互利关系的大门。这种方法使你能够:

  • 发现你可能未曾发现的需求和机会
  • 以自然、非自我推销的方式展示你的技能和专业知识
  • 建立善意和互惠,因为人们更有可能帮助那些曾帮助过他们的人

培养真诚的连接。 当你以慷慨为先导时,人们更有可能敞开心扉,分享他们的挑战、梦想和目标。这种脆弱性创造了更深层次的信任和理解,为更有意义和持久的连接铺平了道路。

2. 通过有意义的关系建立你的星座

“每个人都是通向其他事物的介绍:另一个人、一项独特的技能、一个新项目,或是你不可避免地会了解自己的某些方面。”

扩展你的视角。 将你遇到的每个人视为你连接星座中的潜在明星。这种心态转变帮助你:

  • 欣赏每个人带来的独特价值
  • 对意外的机会和学习保持开放
  • 创建一个超越你直接领域或兴趣的多样化和动态网络

培养深度和广度。 建立星座包括:

  • 与核心群体中的个体发展深厚、有意义的关系
  • 维持一个更广泛的松散联系网络,以提供多样化的视角和机会
  • 定期评估和培养你的关系,确保它们保持活跃和有价值

利用协同效应。 寻找将你星座中的明星连接起来的方法:

  • 介绍可能受益于彼此认识的人
  • 结合不同联系人的技能和知识,创造创新解决方案
  • 利用你的网络在各种努力中扩大你的影响力和覆盖面

3. 聚集:主动创造连接机会

“邀请以获得邀请。”

做东道主。 主动创建聚会和活动,而不是等待邀请。这种方法:

  • 让你控制你遇到的人和互动的背景
  • 允许你策划符合你兴趣和目标的体验
  • 将你定位为网络中的连接者和有价值的资源

创建多样化的聚会。 在组织活动时,考虑:

  • 混合来自不同行业、背景和专业水平的人
  • 选择鼓励有意义对话的主题或话题
  • 融入促进自然互动和连接的活动

利用线上和线下空间。 通过以下方式最大化你的聚会潜力:

  • 举办虚拟活动,与无论位置的人连接
  • 组织面对面的聚会,以促进更深层次的连接
  • 创建结合两者优点的混合活动

4. 提问:通过好奇心和同理心加深关系

“倾听是理解的门径。”

培养积极倾听技巧。 通过以下方式真正听取和理解他人:

  • 全神贯注于说话者
  • 提问以确保理解
  • 避免打断或过早判断

提出有意义的问题。 超越闲聊,促进更深层次的连接:

  • 询问人们的激情、挑战和目标
  • 对他们的经历和观点表现出真正的兴趣
  • 使用开放性问题,鼓励更详细的回答

练习同理心。 设身处地为他人着想,以建立更强的关系:

  • 尝试理解他们的情感和动机
  • 认可他们的感受和经历
  • 在适当的时候提供支持或资源

5. 行动:将连接转化为有意义的行动

“关系是一种社会、情感和物质的投资。”

始终如一地跟进。 通过以下方式建立信任并加深连接:

  • 遵守承诺和约定
  • 跟进对话和想法
  • 提供讨论过的帮助或资源

合作项目。 将连接转化为实际成果:

  • 识别共同兴趣或互补技能
  • 提出联合项目或合作
  • 共同解决问题或创造新机会

支持他人的目标。 积极为你的连接的成功做出贡献:

  • 分享相关机会或信息
  • 提供有用联系人的介绍
  • 在适当的时候提供指导或建议

6. 在你的网络中拥抱多样性和包容性

“真实和多样化的对话成倍地提升我们的个人和职业生活。”

寻求多样化的视角。 积极扩展你的网络,包括:

  • 来自不同文化和种族背景的人
  • 拥有不同职业经历和专业知识的个体
  • 拥有不同社会经济地位和生活经历的人

创建包容性空间。 确保你的聚会和互动对所有人都友好:

  • 考虑无障碍和适应需求
  • 使用包容性语言和做法
  • 积极努力解决任何偏见或排他行为

从差异中学习。 通过多样化的连接抓住成长的机会:

  • 提问以理解不同的观点
  • 挑战自己的假设和先入之见
  • 使用多样化的视角来指导你的决策和行动

7. 通过真实性和跟进培养信任

“信任是慢慢建立的,一杯咖啡、一条推文、一场对话。”

始终如一地真实。 通过以下方式建立信任:

  • 在所有互动中展现真实的自我
  • 诚实面对你的优点和局限
  • 承认错误并对自己的行为负责

展示可靠性。 通过以下方式证明你的可信度:

  • 始终如一地完成任务和承诺
  • 跟进承诺,无论多么小
  • 清晰和主动地沟通,尤其是在遇到挑战时

练习脆弱性。 通过以下方式加深连接:

  • 分享适当的个人经历和挑战
  • 在需要时寻求帮助
  • 公开表达感激和欣赏

8. 利用技术增强而非取代人际连接

“当你以一种将对方人性化的方式进行沟通,看到他们是女儿、朋友、经历过悲伤、失落、恐惧、胜利和喜悦的人,具体的媒介就不重要了。”

有意识地使用数字工具。 通过技术增强你的连接:

  • 为每次互动选择合适的平台(例如,视频用于更个人的对话,文本用于快速检查)
  • 保持一致的在线形象,反映你的真实自我
  • 使用社交媒体了解你的连接的生活和成就

平衡线上和线下互动。 创建健康的混合:

  • 方便和全球覆盖的虚拟会议
  • 更深层次、更个人的面对面聚会
  • 结合两者优点的混合活动

人性化数字通信。 在你的在线互动中注入温暖和个性:

  • 使用视频通话捕捉非语言线索和表情
  • 在书面通信中融入个人触动(例如,参考之前的对话或共同经历)
  • 在基于文本的互动中注意语气和背景

9. 投资于人并传播财富

“我给予这些女性创始人的可能用于雇佣、技术平台或扩展到新市场。但如果你问我支持的任何女性,我猜她们会告诉你,她们最看重的不是钱,而是通过我们的连接发展起来的关系。”

支持代表性不足的群体。 将你的资源(时间、金钱、专业知识)投资于:

  • 女性主导的企业和倡议
  • 少数族裔拥有的企业
  • 社会影响项目和组织

为他人创造机会。 利用你的影响力和资源:

  • 指导你领域的新兴人才
  • 提供介绍和推荐
  • 为有前途的企业提供财务支持或实物服务

培养给予文化。 通过以下方式鼓励财富传播:

  • 组织捐赠圈或投资小组
  • 分享关于负责任投资和慈善的知识
  • 庆祝和放大你支持的人的成功

10. 与激情和目标对齐,而不仅仅是项目

“与那些你觉得鼓舞人心并继续激发你好奇心的人在一起——即使他们的激情和追求与你的职业目标关系不大。”

基于共同价值观建立连接。 寻找与以下人群的关系:

  • 分享你的核心信念和原则
  • 对产生积极影响充满热情
  • 激励你成长和进步

追求以目标为导向的合作。 专注于:

  • 与你的个人使命一致的倡议
  • 创造有意义变化的项目
  • 允许你利用独特优势为更大善举的合作

对意外的连接保持开放。 允许自己:

  • 探索你主要领域之外的兴趣
  • 与来自不同背景和行业的人互动
  • 被他人的激情所激励,即使它们与你自己的不同

11. 在传统会议形式上创新

“我们正处于一个时刻,由于必要性,数百万人正在使用并非为他们现在使用的目的而设计的工具。”

尝试新形式。 超越传统的咖啡会议或电话会议:

  • 尝试步行会议进行一对一对话
  • 使用虚拟现实平台进行沉浸式群体体验
  • 在虚拟会议中融入互动元素,如投票或分组讨论

根据目的调整形式。 考虑:

  • 互动的目标(例如,头脑风暴、决策、关系建立)
  • 参与者的数量和多样性
  • 可用的时间和资源

拥抱新兴技术。 对可以增强连接的新工具和平台保持开放:

  • 探索人工智能驱动的网络工具
  • 尝试增强现实进行远程协作
  • 利用专为特定类型互动设计的平台(例如,虚拟贸易展览、在线研讨会)

12. 与当地社区连接

“与一些其他社交平台不同,它们希望你在平台本身上花费大量时间,Nextdoor的创建是为了达到一个目的——连接你与附近的人,以便你可以面对面见面并有更多的人际连接。”

与邻居互动。 通过以下方式促进本地连接:

  • 参与社区活动和倡议
  • 向附近的人提供帮助或资源
  • 使用像Nextdoor这样的平台了解本地动态

支持本地企业和组织。 通过以下方式加强你的社区:

  • 在本地商店和市场购物
  • 为本地非营利组织做志愿者
  • 参加和推广本地活动和表演

创建本地聚会空间。 通过以下方式为社区建设做出贡献:

  • 组织邻里聚会或街区派对
  • 建立或加入本地兴趣小组(例如,读书俱乐部、运动队)
  • 倡导鼓励互动和连接的公共空间

最后更新日期:

FAQ

What's The Lost Art of Connecting about?

  • Focus on Human Connection: The book emphasizes the importance of building meaningful relationships in a technology-driven world. Susan McPherson shares her experiences and insights on how to connect authentically with others.
  • Gather, Ask, Do Method: McPherson introduces a structured approach to networking, which consists of three phases: Gather, Ask, and Do. This method helps readers create a personal network that is both expansive and deep.
  • Transformative Networking: The book challenges traditional networking practices, advocating for a more genuine and service-oriented approach. It encourages readers to shift their mindset from transactional interactions to meaningful connections.

Why should I read The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Practical Advice: McPherson provides actionable strategies for building relationships that can enhance both personal and professional life. The insights are applicable to anyone looking to improve their networking skills.
  • Empowerment Through Connection: The book empowers readers to take control of their networking efforts by asking, "How can I help?" This question fosters a spirit of collaboration and support.
  • Addressing Loneliness: In a time when many feel isolated, this book offers a roadmap to reconnect with others and build a supportive community. It highlights the mental health benefits of meaningful relationships.

What are the key takeaways of The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Shift Your Mindset: Transition from a "What can I get?" mentality to "How can I help?" This shift is crucial for establishing genuine connections.
  • Importance of Listening: Active listening is emphasized as a vital skill for building relationships. McPherson encourages readers to engage fully in conversations to foster deeper understanding.
  • Diversity in Connections: The book stresses the value of having a diverse network. Engaging with people from different backgrounds can lead to richer insights and opportunities.

What is the Gather, Ask, Do method in The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Gather Phase: This phase focuses on identifying and expanding your network. It encourages self-reflection to understand your goals and how you can help others.
  • Ask Phase: In this phase, the emphasis is on asking the right questions, particularly "How can I help?" This approach opens up opportunities for collaboration and support.
  • Do Phase: The final phase is about taking action based on the connections you've made. It involves following up, nurturing relationships, and being proactive in offering help.

How does Susan McPherson define a meaningful business relationship in The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Authenticity Over Transaction: McPherson believes that meaningful relationships are built on authenticity rather than transactional interactions. It's about connecting on a human level.
  • Shared Values and Goals: A meaningful relationship often involves shared values and a common purpose. This alignment fosters deeper connections and collaboration.
  • Long-Term Commitment: Meaningful relationships require ongoing effort and nurturing. They are not just about immediate gains but about building a lasting network of support.

What are some common mistakes people make in networking, according to The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Transactional Mindset: Many people approach networking with a "What can I get?" attitude, which can hinder genuine connections. This mindset often leads to superficial interactions.
  • Neglecting Existing Contacts: Failing to nurture existing relationships can result in missed opportunities. McPherson emphasizes the importance of maintaining and deepening connections over time.
  • Avoiding Vulnerability: People often shy away from being vulnerable, which is essential for building trust. Embracing vulnerability can lead to more authentic and meaningful interactions.

What are some effective strategies for networking mentioned in The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Be Proactive: McPherson advises readers to take the initiative in reaching out to others, rather than waiting for opportunities to arise. This includes sending follow-up messages and expressing interest in others' work.
  • Utilize Social Media: The book highlights the importance of using social media platforms to maintain connections and engage with others. Thoughtful interactions online can lead to deeper relationships offline.
  • Create Rituals: Establishing regular check-ins or meetings with contacts can help solidify relationships. These rituals foster a sense of commitment and accountability among individuals.

How does The Lost Art of Connecting address the issue of loneliness in networking?

  • Loneliness Epidemic: McPherson discusses the growing loneliness epidemic exacerbated by technology and social media. She emphasizes the need for authentic connections to combat this issue.
  • Building Community: The book advocates for creating supportive communities where individuals can connect meaningfully. It highlights the mental health benefits of having a strong network.
  • Encouragement to Reach Out: McPherson encourages readers to take the initiative in reaching out to others. By fostering connections, individuals can alleviate feelings of isolation and build a sense of belonging.

What does Susan McPherson mean by "how can I help?" in The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Offering Support: This phrase encapsulates the mindset of prioritizing others' needs and being willing to assist without expecting anything in return. It shifts the focus from self-interest to community and collaboration.
  • Building Trust: By genuinely asking how you can help, you create an environment of trust and openness. This approach encourages others to reciprocate and fosters deeper connections.
  • Activating Generosity: The author illustrates that this mindset can lead to innovative solutions and collaborations, as it opens the door for creative problem-solving among connected individuals.

How can I effectively follow up after making a new connection, as suggested in The Lost Art of Connecting?

  • Timely Follow-Up: Reach out soon after your initial meeting to express gratitude and reinforce the connection. A quick email or message can go a long way.
  • Personal Touch: Reference something specific from your conversation to show that you were engaged and attentive. This personal touch helps solidify the relationship.
  • Offer Value: In your follow-up, consider how you can provide value to the other person. Whether it's sharing an article or making an introduction, offering help strengthens the bond.

How does The Lost Art of Connecting suggest overcoming the fear of failure in networking?

  • Shift Your Mindset: McPherson encourages readers to adopt a helping mindset, which can alleviate the pressure associated with networking. By focusing on how you can assist others, the fear of personal failure diminishes.
  • Embrace Small Wins: The book suggests that even small acts of connection can be considered successes. Recognizing these small victories can build confidence and encourage further engagement.
  • Practice Generosity: By being generous with your time and support, you create a positive feedback loop that reinforces your networking efforts. This approach fosters a sense of community and reduces the fear of rejection.

What are the best quotes from The Lost Art of Connecting and what do they mean?

  • “How can I help you?”: This question is central to McPherson's philosophy on networking. It shifts the focus from self-interest to service, fostering deeper connections.
  • “Connection is my superpower.”: McPherson highlights the importance of connection in her life and career. It underscores the idea that building relationships is a skill that can be developed.
  • “People do business with people.”: This quote emphasizes the human element in business interactions. It serves as a reminder that relationships are foundational to success.

评论

4.04 满分 5
平均评分来自 100+ 来自Goodreads和亚马逊的评分.

《失联的艺术》因其在个人和职业背景下建立有意义关系的实用建议而备受赞誉。读者们欣赏作者对真实性、同理心以及“我能帮什么忙?”方法的强调。该书为内向者和外向者提供了宝贵的见解,提供了可操作的策略来进行社交和深化联系。尽管有些人觉得内容重复或基础,但许多读者认为这是任何希望提升人际交往技能和创建支持网络的人必读之书。

Your rating:

关于作者

苏珊·麦克弗森 是一位著名的专家,擅长连接人与建立有意义的关系。作为一名多次连接者,她一生致力于在生活的各个方面,从个人到职业,培养真实的联系。麦克弗森因其在社会公益领域的工作而闻名,并经常在行业活动中演讲。她为商业出版物撰稿,并主持麦克弗森备忘录现场社会影响聊天。她在网络和关系建立方面的专业知识使她赢得了知识渊博且温暖的声誉,她在所做的一切中都展现出精明。麦克弗森帮助他人建立真实联系的热情在她的写作和生活态度中显而易见。

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