13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don't Do

1. Don't Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Yourself

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.

Self-pity is self-destructive. It wastes time, leads to more negative emotions, and prevents you from dealing with other emotions. When you feel sorry for yourself, you overlook the good in your life and interfere with relationships. Self-pity can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, breeding more problems and failures.

To overcome self-pity:

• Identify when you're feeling sorry for yourself
• Change your behavior to contradict self-pitying thoughts
• Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones
• Practice gratitude daily

Research shows gratitude improves physical health, leads to more positive emotions, and enhances social relationships. By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you can shift from self-pity to appreciation and resilience.

2. Don't Give Away Your Power

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.

Retain control of your emotions and reactions. Giving away your power means allowing others to control how you think, feel, and behave. This can lead to feelings of victimhood, increased sensitivity to criticism, and loss of focus on personal goals.

To reclaim your power:

• Identify people who have taken your power
• Reframe your language to acknowledge your choices
• Think before you react emotionally
• Evaluate feedback critically
• Recognize your choices in every situation

Retaining your power increases self-confidence, allows you to devote more time and energy to your goals, reduces stress, and helps establish healthier relationships. It's about being confident in who you are and the choices you make, despite external circumstances.

3. Don't Shy Away from Change

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

Embrace change as an opportunity for growth. Many people avoid change due to fear, discomfort, or a fixed mindset about their abilities. However, staying stagnant can lead to missed opportunities, undeveloped skills, and unfulfilled potential.

To become more comfortable with change:

• Identify beliefs about failure that prevent you from trying again
• Balance emotion with logic when considering change
• Create a plan for implementing change
• Practice taking small risks and monitor the results

Remember, change is often a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself and focus on progress, not perfection. By embracing change, you open yourself to new experiences, personal growth, and increased mental strength.

4. Don't Focus on Things You Can't Control

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

Direct your energy towards what you can influence. Trying to control everything leads to increased anxiety, wasted time and energy, and damaged relationships. It's important to recognize the difference between what you can and cannot control in any given situation.

To develop a balanced sense of control:

• Identify your fears about letting go of control
• Focus on what you can control, like your attitude and behavior
• Practice acceptance of things beyond your control
• Influence people without trying to control them

By giving up the need to control everything, you'll likely experience better relationships, less stress, and new opportunities. Remember, you can't control every aspect of your life, but you can control how you respond to circumstances.

5. Don't Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.

Live according to your values, not others' expectations. Trying to please everyone leads to losing sight of your own goals and values. It can damage relationships, interfere with personal growth, and lead to resentment.

To stop being a people-pleaser:

• Clarify your personal values
• Learn to say no without feeling guilty
• Practice behaving assertively
• Focus on giving, not taking, in relationships

When you stop worrying about pleasing everyone, your self-confidence will soar, you'll have more time and energy for your goals, and you'll establish healthier relationships. Remember, it's impossible to please everyone, and trying to do so often leads to pleasing no one – including yourself.

6. Don't Fear Taking Calculated Risks

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

Embrace calculated risk-taking for growth and success. Fear of risk can lead to missed opportunities and stagnation. However, it's important to distinguish between reckless behavior and calculated risks that can lead to personal and professional growth.

To become more comfortable with risk-taking:

• Identify your fears about taking risks
• Balance emotion with logic when evaluating risks
• Minimize risk and maximize success through preparation
• Practice taking small risks to build confidence

Remember, failure is often part of the risk-taking process. Learn from your mistakes and use them as stepping stones to future success. By taking calculated risks, you open yourself to new opportunities and experiences that can lead to personal and professional growth.

7. Don't Dwell on the Past

We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.

Focus on the present and future, not past regrets. Dwelling on the past can prevent you from enjoying the present and planning for the future. It can lead to depression, anxiety, and missed opportunities for growth and happiness.

To stop dwelling on the past:

• Identify beliefs about the past that hold you back
• Practice forgiveness – of others and yourself
• Change behaviors that keep you stuck in the past
• Focus on what you can learn from past experiences

Remember, you can't change the past, but you can use it as a learning tool for the future. By focusing on the present and future, you open yourself to new possibilities and experiences, rather than being limited by what has already happened.

8. Don't Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.

Learn from your mistakes to avoid repeating them. Making the same mistakes repeatedly can lead to frustration, decreased self-confidence, and a lack of progress towards your goals. It's important to analyze your mistakes and use them as learning opportunities.

To avoid repeating mistakes:

• Study the mistake to understand what went wrong
• Create a plan to avoid similar mistakes in the future
• Practice self-discipline to stick to your plan
• Be patient with yourself as you learn and grow

Remember, everyone makes mistakes. The key is to use them as stepping stones to success rather than stumbling blocks. By learning from your mistakes, you can continually improve and grow, both personally and professionally.

9. Don't Resent Other People's Success

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

Celebrate others' successes instead of resenting them. Resenting others' achievements can lead to bitterness, missed opportunities for collaboration, and a negative mindset that hinders your own success. It's important to recognize that someone else's success doesn't diminish your own worth or potential.

To overcome resentment:

• Develop self-awareness of your sense of entitlement
• Focus on your own path to success
• Practice gratitude for what you have
• Learn to cooperate rather than compete with others

Remember, success isn't a finite resource. By celebrating others' successes, you create a positive environment that can lead to your own growth and achievements. Focus on your own progress and goals rather than comparing yourself to others.

10. Don't Give Up After the First Failure

Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.

Persist through failure to achieve success. Giving up after the first failure can prevent you from reaching your goals and limit your personal growth. It's important to view failure as a learning opportunity rather than a final outcome.

To bounce back from failure:

• Identify beliefs about failure that prevent you from trying again
• Change the way you think about failure
• Create a plan for moving forward after a setback
• Practice resilience by facing your fears of failure

Remember, most successful people have experienced multiple failures on their path to success. By persisting through failure, you develop resilience, learn valuable lessons, and increase your chances of eventual success.

11. Don't Fear Alone Time

All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.

Embrace solitude for self-reflection and growth. Fearing alone time can lead to constant distraction, lack of self-awareness, and missed opportunities for personal growth. Solitude provides space for reflection, creativity, and recharging.

To become comfortable with alone time:

• Practice tolerating silence
• Schedule regular "dates" with yourself
• Learn meditation or mindfulness techniques
• Use alone time for journaling or self-reflection

Research shows that moderate alone time can lead to increased productivity, empathy, and creativity. By embracing solitude, you can develop a stronger sense of self, reduce stress, and improve your overall well-being.

12. Don't Feel the World Owes You Anything

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Take responsibility for your own success and happiness. Feeling entitled can lead to disappointment, lack of effort, and strained relationships. It's important to recognize that success comes from hard work and personal responsibility, not from what the world "owes" you.

To overcome entitlement:

• Develop self-awareness of your sense of entitlement
• Focus on what you can give, not what you can take
• Practice gratitude for what you have
• Set realistic expectations for yourself and others

Remember, the world doesn't owe you anything, but that doesn't mean you can't achieve great things. By taking responsibility for your own success and focusing on what you can contribute, you create opportunities for growth and achievement.

Last updated: October 11, 2024