Build Your Resilience

1. Resilience is a learnable skill, not an innate trait

Research shows that resilience is normal and involves ordinary skills and resources.

Resilience defined. Resilience is the ability to adapt and cope well with adversity, stress, and challenges. It's not about avoiding difficult emotions or experiences, but rather about maintaining psychological flexibility and continuing to pursue valued goals despite setbacks.

Components of resilience. Key components of resilience include:

• Self-awareness
• Emotional regulation
• Optimism
• Problem-solving skills
• Strong social connections
• Sense of purpose

Developing resilience. Resilience can be cultivated through:

• Practicing mindfulness and acceptance
• Clarifying personal values
• Learning problem-solving techniques
• Building social support networks
• Engaging in relaxation exercises
• Challenging negative thought patterns

2. Mindfulness and acceptance are key to managing stress

Ironically, when distress is accepted it appears to reduce anyway and perhaps in a more elegant and natural way than when we try to fight against our feelings.

Mindfulness practice. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It helps reduce stress by:

• Increasing awareness of thoughts and emotions
• Reducing rumination and worry
• Enhancing emotional regulation
• Improving focus and concentration

Acceptance strategies. Acceptance doesn't mean resignation, but rather a willingness to experience thoughts and feelings without trying to change or avoid them. This approach:

• Reduces the struggle with uncomfortable experiences
• Allows emotions to run their natural course
• Frees up mental energy for problem-solving and valued actions

3. Clarify personal values to guide decision-making and actions

To be resilient is to remain committed to following your personal values despite facing adversities, including unpleasant experiences such as pain and anxiety, and to regain your commitment whenever it falters.

Identifying values. Values are guiding principles that reflect what's most important in life. They differ from goals in that they are ongoing directions rather than endpoints. Examples include:

• Integrity
• Compassion
• Growth
• Creativity
• Connection

Living according to values. Aligning actions with personal values:

• Provides a sense of purpose and meaning
• Increases motivation and commitment
• Enhances decision-making in difficult situations
• Improves overall life satisfaction

4. Problem-solving skills enhance adaptability to challenges

Problem-solving is an established methodological approach, a form of cognitive-behavioural therapy, that research has shown to be effective for a wide range of issues.

Problem-solving steps:

1. Define the problem clearly
2. Generate multiple potential solutions
3. Evaluate the pros and cons of each option
4. Choose and implement the best solution
5. Review the outcome and adjust as needed

Benefits of effective problem-solving:

• Increases confidence in handling challenges
• Reduces stress and anxiety
• Improves decision-making abilities
• Enhances overall resilience and adaptability

5. Social support and assertiveness contribute to emotional resilience

Research on resilience consistently points to the importance of having appropriate sources of social support in place, such as emotional support and encouragement from friends and family, etc.

Building social support. Strong social connections are crucial for resilience. Strategies to enhance social support include:

• Cultivating existing relationships
• Joining groups or communities with shared interests
• Volunteering or engaging in community activities
• Seeking professional support when needed

Developing assertiveness. Assertiveness involves expressing one's needs, opinions, and feelings effectively while respecting others' rights. Key assertiveness skills include:

• Using "I" statements
• Setting clear boundaries
• Saying "no" when necessary
• Expressing disagreement respectfully
• Requesting what you need or want

6. Progressive relaxation techniques reduce physical and mental tension

It's important to understand that by 'relaxation', from a physiological perspective, Jacobson meant muscle relaxation, which he specifically defined as the complete absence of all contraction or 'tension', i.e., the release and lengthening of the muscles fibres.

Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). This technique involves systematically tensing and relaxing different muscle groups to achieve deep relaxation. Benefits include:

• Reduced physical tension
• Decreased anxiety and stress
• Improved sleep quality
• Enhanced body awareness

Practicing PMR:

1. Find a comfortable position
2. Focus on a specific muscle group
3. Tense the muscles for 5-10 seconds
4. Release the tension and focus on the sensation of relaxation
5. Move to the next muscle group
6. Repeat the process throughout the body

7. Worry postponement helps manage anxiety more effectively

Worry postponement has been integrated with some of the mindfulness and acceptance-based strategies discussed earlier, especially becoming 'centred' in the present moment and 'engaged' with intrinsically valued action.

Understanding worry. Worry is a chain of thoughts focused on potential future negative outcomes. While some worry can be productive, excessive worry often leads to anxiety and stress.

Implementing worry postponement:

1. Identify worrying thoughts
2. Schedule a specific "worry time" each day
3. When worries arise outside of this time, acknowledge them and postpone until the designated worry time
4. During worry time, address concerns constructively or use problem-solving techniques

Benefits of worry postponement:

• Reduces overall time spent worrying
• Increases present-moment awareness
• Improves ability to focus on current tasks
• Enhances overall emotional well-being

8. Stoic philosophy offers timeless wisdom for building resilience

What, then, is to be done? To make the best of what is in our power, and take the rest as it naturally happens.

Key Stoic principles for resilience:

• Focus on what's within your control
• Accept what cannot be changed
• Cultivate virtue and wisdom
• Practice self-discipline and moderation
• Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth

Applying Stoic wisdom:

• Use rational thinking to challenge unhelpful beliefs
• Practice negative visualization to appreciate what you have
• Reflect on your actions and learn from experiences
• Cultivate a sense of duty and purpose beyond personal desires
• Develop emotional equanimity in the face of adversity

Last updated: August 22, 2024