Exactly What to Say

1. Words are Your Most Powerful Tool

Quite often the decision between a client choosing you over another agent depends on your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it and how to make it count.

Communication is Key. In real estate, success hinges on effective communication. The right words, delivered at the right time, can significantly impact your ability to win clients and close deals. This book emphasizes that mastering language is a tactical advantage, providing tools to empower real estate professionals to achieve their goals.

Subconscious Influence. The book introduces the concept of "Magic Words," which are phrases designed to speak directly to the subconscious brain. The subconscious brain makes decisions quickly, without overanalyzing. By using these words, you can bypass conscious resistance and influence decisions more effectively.

Preparation is Paramount. The worst time to think about what to say is in the moment you're saying it. This book prepares you for various scenarios, giving you a fair advantage in conversations. It's about being proactive with your language, rather than reactive, ensuring you're always ready with the right response.

2. Control Conversations by Asking Questions

It is the person that is asking the questions that is in control of the conversations.

Questions Drive Conversations. Questions are the engine of any meaningful interaction. They initiate conversations, build relationships, create opportunities, and ultimately lead to decisions. Improving your ability to ask better questions is crucial for increasing the quality and quantity of positive outcomes in your real estate career.

Strategic Inquiry. Many of the "Magic Words" are designed as prefaces or lead-ins to questions, allowing you to guide the conversation. By framing your questions carefully, you can subtly direct the other person's thinking and maintain control of the dialogue. This approach is more effective than making direct statements, which can often be met with resistance.

Uncover Needs and Motivations. Asking the right questions helps you understand the other person's perspective, needs, and motivations. This understanding is essential for tailoring your approach and offering solutions that resonate with them. It's about listening actively and using questions to uncover the underlying factors driving their decisions.

3. Soften Introductions to Reduce Resistance

I’m not sure if it’s for you, but...

Rejection-Free Approach. Starting a conversation with "I'm not sure if it's for you, but..." is a powerful way to introduce an idea or opportunity without triggering immediate resistance. This phrase suggests there's no pressure, which naturally increases the listener's curiosity. It makes them wonder what "it" is, and this spike in curiosity makes them want to learn more.

The Power of "But." The word "but" negates everything that comes before it. In this context, it emphasizes the potential value of what you're about to offer. The listener's subconscious hears, "You might want to look at this," making them more receptive to your message.

Versatile Application. This phrase can be used in various situations, from introducing a new listing to offering a service. It's a versatile tool for opening doors and creating opportunities without being pushy. The goal is to pique interest and invite further exploration, rather than forcing a decision.

4. Turn Objections into Opportunities

What Makes You Say That?

Objections as Questions. Treat every objection as a question in disguise. This mindset allows you to regain control of the conversation by responding with a question of your own. Instead of directly refuting the objection, seek to understand the reasoning behind it.

The "What Makes You Say That?" Response. When faced with an objection, simply ask, "What makes you say that?" This prompts the other person to explain their thinking, giving you valuable insight into their concerns. It also prevents you from making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

Uncover Underlying Concerns. By asking "What makes you say that?" you encourage the other person to reveal the true source of their hesitation. This allows you to address their concerns directly and offer solutions that alleviate their fears. It's about turning a potential roadblock into an opportunity to build trust and understanding.

5. Create Urgency and Motivate Action

How Would You Feel If?

Motivation Through Emotion. People are motivated by two primary factors: avoiding a loss or acquiring a gain. Understanding these motivators is crucial for influencing behavior. However, decisions are always made for emotive reasons first. Something needs to feel right before it can ever make sense.

Future-Pacing with "How Would You Feel If?" This phrase allows you to transport the other person to a future scenario and imagine the emotions they would experience. By highlighting both positive and negative outcomes, you can create a compelling reason for them to take action.

Contrast and Movement. The greater the contrast between where someone doesn't want to be and where they hope to be, the more likely they are to move. Use "How would you feel if...?" to create a vivid picture of the potential consequences of inaction, driving them toward a decision.

6. Use "Magic Words" to Build Trust and Rapport

I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me

Finding Common Ground. Building trust is essential for any successful relationship, especially in real estate. The phrase "I bet you're a bit like me..." is a powerful way to establish common ground and create a sense of connection.

Reasonable Agreement. By prefacing a statement with this phrase, you invite the other person to agree with you. As long as your statement is reasonable and relatable, they are likely to concur, creating a sense of shared understanding.

Gathering Evidence. This technique can be used to gather evidence to support your recommendations. By getting the other person to agree with certain principles or values, you make it harder for them to object to your proposals later on. It's about building a foundation of trust and agreement before presenting your case.

7. Master the Art of Follow-Up

I’m Guessing You Haven’t Got Around To

Addressing Fear of Contact. Following up with potential clients can be daunting, especially if you fear they haven't taken the desired action. The phrase "I'm guessing you haven't got around to..." allows you to address this fear head-on.

Saving Face. This phrase allows the other person to save face while also preventing them from using common excuses. By suggesting they haven't completed the task, you prompt them to either confirm their progress or commit to taking action.

Disarming Excuses. By using the words you fear they may use against you, you disarm them and create a scenario where they must either rise to the occasion or explain why they haven't. It's a proactive approach that keeps you in control of the conversation.

8. Close with Confidence and Clarity

What Happens Next

Leading the Decision. Many conversations stall because no one takes the lead in making a decision. As a real estate professional, it's your responsibility to guide the conversation toward a close.

"What Happens Next Is..." This phrase signals that it's time to move from discussion to action. It allows you to outline the next steps in the process, providing clarity and direction.

Effortless Questions. Finish the process with a question that is effortless to answer is the key to gaining a rapid response and a positive outcome. The easier the question is to answer, the easier you gain your decision. Having a concise and constructive “what happens next” conversation will mean that you successfully close far more conversations in the first meeting and make more happen in the moments that you have with people.

9. Leverage Social Proof and Positive Framing

Most People

Safety in Numbers. People take confidence from knowing that others like them have made a similar decision and achieved positive results. Highlighting what "most people" do can be a powerful way to influence behavior.

Subtle Guidance. People don't like being told what to do, but they do like to know what to do. By explaining what "most people" would do in their situation, you provide guidance without being pushy.

Positive Spin. The Magic Words, “The good news is...” as a preface to your chosen point ensures that the recipient has to accept the label you have attached to it. This optimistic spin can help you face negativity in your life, prevents you from ending up in a self-sabotaging conversation of blame and pity and helps you start to build in a new direction.

10. Ask for Referrals the Right Way

A Favor

The Power of Reciprocity. Success in life and business is rarely achieved without the support of others. Asking others to support your own objectives has the power to significantly increase the chances of you achieving them.

Timing is Everything. The best time to ask for someone's help is in the very moment when they feel indebted to you. This often occurs after you've delivered significant value or exceeded their expectations.

The Referral Script. The best time to ask for someone’s help is in the very moment when they feel indebted to you. All this means is, the next time you hear the words “Thank you” from your client or prospect, use that as your cue to ask for “a favor.”

11. Adapt Your Language for Marketing Success

Simple Swaps

Subtle Changes, Profound Results. Even the subtlest changes in wording can have a significant impact on outcomes. This section highlights two specific examples of how to phrase questions to increase your chances of success.

From Self-Sabotage to Amplification. The first example focuses on preventing a common mistake made at the end of presentations. Instead of asking, "Do you have any questions?" which suggests they should have questions, ask, "What questions do you have for me?" This subtle shift encourages a decision rather than creating doubt.

Open-Ended Inquiry. Swap the closed question “Are you working with an agent?” to the assumptive and more open question “Who is your Realtor?” and watch how many more of your visitors admit to not being locked into anyone specific, and those who are already committed now share more with you about their position, empowering you with increased information for you to help them in their decision-making process.

Last updated: April 8, 2025