first, we make the beast beautiful

1. Anxiety is a universal human experience, not a disorder to be fixed

I've come to believe that the fretting itself can be the very thing that plonks you on the path to a great life.

Anxiety is normal. Sarah Wilson challenges the conventional view of anxiety as a disorder that needs fixing. Instead, she proposes that anxiety is a fundamental part of the human experience, shared by everyone to varying degrees. This perspective shift allows us to approach anxiety with curiosity and acceptance rather than fear and resistance.

Evolutionary advantage. Anxiety has played a crucial role in human survival and evolution. Our anxious ancestors were more likely to anticipate and avoid dangers, leading to better survival rates. In modern times, this heightened awareness can manifest as creativity, empathy, and problem-solving skills.

Reframing the journey. By accepting anxiety as a part of life, we can focus on learning to live with it rather than trying to eliminate it. This approach opens up possibilities for personal growth, self-discovery, and a more authentic way of being in the world.

2. Embrace the 'Something Else' yearning that drives anxiety

We yearn for something even if we don't know what it looks like or if it actually exists.

The existential root. At its core, anxiety often stems from a deep-seated yearning for meaning, purpose, and connection – what Wilson calls the "Something Else." This existential longing can manifest as restlessness, dissatisfaction, or a sense of incompleteness.

Acknowledging the search. Recognizing this yearning as a fundamental human experience can help alleviate the pressure to "fix" ourselves. Instead, we can approach our anxiety with curiosity and compassion, understanding that it's part of our journey to find meaning and purpose in life.

Embracing the journey. Rather than trying to eliminate the yearning, we can learn to embrace it as a driving force for personal growth and self-discovery. This shift in perspective allows us to use our anxiety as a compass, guiding us towards a more fulfilling and authentic life.

3. Build mental muscles through small, consistent actions

It's easier to do something every day, without exception, than to do something "most days".

Consistency is key. Wilson emphasizes the importance of building mental resilience through small, consistent actions. Just as physical muscles grow stronger with regular exercise, our mental muscles can be strengthened through daily practices.

Start small. Focus on simple, achievable tasks that you can commit to doing every day. Examples include:

• Making your bed each morning
• Meditating for 5-10 minutes
• Writing down three things you're grateful for
• Taking a short walk

Compound effect. Over time, these small actions create a cumulative effect, building resilience, reducing anxiety, and fostering a sense of control and accomplishment. The key is to choose actions that are meaningful to you and to commit to them consistently, even when you don't feel like it.

4. Create space and boundaries to manage modern life's pressures

We need to remember this, we anxious types who find happiness a slippery sucker at times and often get accused of taking life too seriously. Delving and seeking our purpose – yes, that Something Else – is what cuts it for most of us.

Modern life overwhelm. The constant connectivity and information overload of modern life can exacerbate anxiety. Wilson advocates for creating intentional space and boundaries to manage these pressures.

Establish boundaries. Some strategies to create space include:

• Limiting email and social media checks to specific times
• Creating a "no phone" policy during meals or before bed
• Designating one day a week as a "Sabbath" for rest and reflection
• Practicing saying "no" to non-essential commitments

Cultivate stillness. Make time for activities that allow your mind to rest and process, such as:

• Taking regular breaks throughout the day
• Engaging in hobbies that require focus and presence
• Spending time in nature
• Practicing mindfulness or meditation

5. Sit in discomfort and grimness to reduce anxiety's power

Sitting in discomfort isn't just about lessening its impact through exposure. It can also bring about a very particular joy.

Embrace discomfort. Wilson encourages readers to resist the urge to flee from uncomfortable situations and instead sit with the discomfort. This practice can help reduce anxiety's power over time.

Start small. Begin by intentionally exposing yourself to minor discomforts or inconveniences, such as:

• Sitting at a wobbly table in a café
• Enduring a slightly too warm or cold room
• Tolerating background noise while working

Observe without judgment. As you sit with discomfort, practice observing your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them. This mindful approach can help you develop a more resilient relationship with anxiety and discomfort.

6. Reframe anxiety as excitement and use it as a creative force

When you see it as excitement it's BLOODY FUN.

Physiological similarities. Wilson points out that the physical sensations of anxiety and excitement are remarkably similar. By reframing anxious feelings as excitement, we can harness that energy in a more positive way.

Embrace the energy. Instead of trying to calm down when feeling anxious, try saying "I'm excited" out loud. This simple act can help shift your mindset and channel the energy more productively.

Creativity and anxiety. Many creative individuals throughout history have experienced anxiety. By viewing anxiety as a potential source of creative energy, we can:

• Use it as fuel for artistic expression
• Harness it for problem-solving and innovation
• Channel it into passionate pursuits and meaningful work

7. Practice self-compassion and vulnerability to ease anxious struggles

Being vulnerable is saying 'I love you' first, it's doing something where there are no guarantees.

Self-compassion as antidote. Wilson emphasizes the importance of treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially during anxious moments. Self-compassion can help reduce the spiral of negative self-talk that often accompanies anxiety.

Vulnerability as strength. Opening up about our struggles and imperfections can lead to deeper connections and a sense of shared humanity. Practices to cultivate self-compassion and vulnerability include:

• Speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend
• Sharing your struggles with trusted others
• Acknowledging your imperfections without judgment
• Practicing forgiveness towards yourself and others

8. Establish certainty anchors and simplify decision-making

Happy, successful entrepreneurs ritualise everything in their lives but their creative work.

Decision fatigue. Wilson highlights how the constant barrage of choices in modern life can contribute to anxiety. By establishing routines and simplifying decision-making, we can reduce mental load and create a sense of stability.

Create certainty anchors. Develop routines and habits that provide structure and reduce decision-making, such as:

• Establishing a consistent morning routine
• Wearing a "uniform" or capsule wardrobe
• Automating recurring tasks and decisions
• Creating a weekly meal plan

Simplify choices. When faced with decisions, try strategies like:

• Limiting options to 2-3 choices
• Using the "good enough" principle instead of seeking perfection
• Delegating or outsourcing non-essential decisions
• Using tools like coin flips for low-stakes decisions

9. Cultivate mindfulness and meditation as essential anxiety tools

You can be crap at meditation and it still works.

Meditation benefits. Wilson emphasizes the importance of meditation for managing anxiety, even if you feel you're not "good" at it. Regular practice can help calm the mind, increase self-awareness, and build resilience to stress.

Start small. Begin with short, manageable meditation sessions:

• Try 5-10 minutes of daily meditation
• Use guided meditations or apps for structure
• Experiment with different techniques (breath focus, body scan, mantra)

Informal mindfulness. Incorporate mindfulness into daily activities:

• Practice mindful eating by savoring each bite
• Pay attention to your senses during routine tasks
• Take "mindful moments" throughout the day to check in with yourself

10. Find beauty in imperfection and embrace your unique weirdness

Through wabi-sabi we learn to embrace our uneven eyebrows, wobbly tables and a nervous need to tap the bathroom door sixteen times (four sets of four) after shutting it.

Wabi-sabi philosophy. Wilson introduces the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which finds beauty in imperfection and impermanence. This perspective can help ease the perfectionism often associated with anxiety.

Embrace imperfection. Practice finding beauty in the flaws and quirks of everyday life:

• Appreciate the unique patina of well-worn objects
• Find charm in asymmetry and irregularity
• Celebrate the cycles of growth, decay, and renewal in nature

Honor your quirks. Instead of trying to conform to societal norms, embrace your unique traits and interests:

• Cultivate hobbies that bring you joy, even if they seem unusual
• Allow yourself to pursue interests that truly resonate with you
• Share your quirks with others, fostering authentic connections

Last updated: August 14, 2024