Hold On to Your N.U.T.s

1. Embrace Your N.U.T.s: Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms

Your N.U.T.s define you as a man. When you compromise your N.U.T.s, your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms, you compromise yourself!

Define your core values. N.U.T.s are the fundamental principles that guide your life and relationships. They represent your integrity, morals, and psychological well-being. Identifying and adhering to these values is crucial for becoming the man you want to be.

Stand firm on what matters. Your N.U.T.s might include commitments to family, personal growth, or ethical standards. By clearly defining these terms, you create a framework for decision-making and behavior that aligns with your true self. Remember:

• N.U.T.s are uniquely yours
• They reflect your authentic self and aspirations
• Compromising them leads to resentment and unhappiness

Communicate your N.U.T.s. While it's important to share your values with your partner, avoid seeking permission or approval. Live your N.U.T.s consistently, and others will come to respect and trust your commitment to these core principles.

2. Silence Your Inner Child to Become a Better Man

The more you behave like the man you want to be, the more you silence the little boy.

Recognize childish behaviors. The "little boy" inside often manifests as neediness, moodiness, and inability to handle adult responsibilities. These behaviors can sabotage relationships and personal growth.

Take responsibility for your actions. Silencing the inner child means:

• Acknowledging and processing emotions maturely
• Avoiding blame and taking ownership of your choices
• Responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively

Cultivate emotional intelligence. Practice self-awareness to identify when your inner child is taking control. Develop strategies to pause, reflect, and choose more mature responses to challenging situations.

3. Express Feelings Without Defensiveness

Once you find your N.U.T.s, never forget them and never compromise them.

Communicate openly and honestly. Sharing your feelings is crucial for intimacy, but it's equally important to do so without becoming defensive or argumentative.

Focus on "I" statements. When expressing emotions, use phrases like "I feel..." rather than accusatory "You always..." statements. This approach promotes understanding without putting your partner on the defensive.

Accept your emotions. Remember that feelings are neither right nor wrong; they simply are. By expressing them without seeking to justify or defend them, you create space for genuine connection and mutual understanding.

4. Cooperate Without Compromising Core Values

Cooperate with her and you'll find that running the sex and romance departments will get a whole lot easier.

Find balance in relationships. Cooperation is essential for a healthy partnership, but it shouldn't come at the cost of your core values (N.U.T.s).

Identify areas for flexibility. Be willing to compromise on non-essential matters:

• Daily chores and responsibilities
• Social plans and activities
• Minor decisions and preferences

Maintain integrity. While cooperating, stay true to your fundamental principles. This balance demonstrates both your commitment to the relationship and your strength of character.

5. Take Charge of Romance and Intimacy

Maybe nobody told you, but to keep the marriage strong and the sex great, the romance must continue, forever. And that's your job.

Prioritize your relationship. Taking responsibility for romance and intimacy is crucial for maintaining a strong, satisfying partnership.

Be proactive and creative. Plan regular date nights, surprises, and thoughtful gestures to keep the spark alive. Remember:

• Spontaneity is key
• Small, consistent efforts matter
• Physical and emotional intimacy are interconnected

Communicate openly about desires. Foster an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their needs and fantasies, ensuring mutual satisfaction and growth in your intimate life.

6. Be the Emotional Rock in Your Relationship

Being the rock means expecting that she may not be at her best around the time of her period, and not letting her behavior cause you to get into an argument or force you to avoid her.

Provide stability and support. Being the "rock" means offering emotional strength and consistency, especially during challenging times.

Practice emotional regulation. Develop the ability to remain calm and composed when your partner is upset or stressed. This doesn't mean being stoic or emotionless, but rather:

• Offering a steady presence
• Avoiding reactive behaviors
• Providing comfort without trying to "fix" everything

Demonstrate reliability. Consistently show up for your partner, both emotionally and physically. This builds trust and security in the relationship.

7. Avoid Arguments to Foster Understanding

When you lose, you lose, and when you "win," you lose.

Recognize the futility of arguments. Engaging in heated debates rarely leads to positive outcomes in relationships. Instead, it often creates resentment and distance.

Choose understanding over being right. When conflicts arise:

• Take a step back to gain perspective
• Focus on listening and empathizing
• Seek common ground and solutions

Practice de-escalation techniques. Learn to diffuse tense situations by remaining calm, using "I" statements, and suggesting breaks when emotions run high.

8. Listen Actively and Empathetically

Listening is something you must learn to do better if you want to have successful long-term relationships.

Develop active listening skills. Truly hearing and understanding your partner is fundamental to a strong relationship.

Be fully present. When your partner is speaking:

• Give your undivided attention
• Avoid interrupting or planning your response
• Show engagement through body language and verbal cues

Practice empathy. Try to understand your partner's perspective and emotions, even if you disagree. Reflect back what you've heard to ensure clear communication and demonstrate your attentiveness.

9. Cultivate Meaningful Male Friendships

If you're relying only on women for feedback, you're definitely not getting all of the information you need.

Seek support from other men. Developing trusting relationships with other men provides crucial support, guidance, and perspective that complement romantic partnerships.

Join or create a men's group. Engage with "initiated men" who are committed to personal growth and mutual support. These relationships offer:

• Honest feedback and accountability
• Shared experiences and wisdom
• A safe space to explore emotions and challenges

Balance friendships and romance. While maintaining a strong relationship with your partner, nurture male friendships to achieve a well-rounded support system and personal growth journey.

Last updated: November 24, 2024