How Not to Get Rich

1. Mark Twain's financial struggles stemmed from risky investments and business ventures

"Whatever I touch turns to gold."

Ironic optimism. This quote, uttered by Twain at the height of his success, ironically foreshadows his numerous financial failures. Despite his literary achievements, Twain was constantly drawn to speculative investments and business ventures that promised quick riches.

Diverse portfolio of failures. Twain's investments ranged from:

• The Paige Compositor (typesetting machine)
• Kaolatype engraving process
• Plasmon (food supplement)
• Various inventions (e.g., bed clamps, steam pulley)

These ventures often began with great enthusiasm but ended in significant financial losses, demonstrating Twain's penchant for risk-taking and his naivety in business matters.

2. Twain's early life and career shaped his pursuit of wealth and success

"We were always going to be rich—next year."

Childhood influence. Twain's father, John Marshall Clemens, instilled in him the belief that the family would someday be wealthy, particularly through their Tennessee land investment. This early expectation of future riches significantly shaped Twain's lifelong pursuit of wealth.

Career progression. Twain's journey to fame and fortune included:

• Apprentice printer
• Mississippi riverboat pilot
• Unsuccessful miner
• Journalist and humorist
• Bestselling author and lecturer

His diverse experiences, especially his time as a riverboat pilot and failed miner, contributed to his fascination with technology and get-rich-quick schemes, ultimately influencing his later business decisions.

3. The Paige Compositor: Twain's most disastrous investment

"This awful mechanical miracle."

Technological marvel. The Paige Compositor, a complex typesetting machine, captivated Twain with its potential to revolutionize the printing industry. He invested heavily in its development, believing it would outperform all competitors.

Financial drain. Twain's involvement with the Paige Compositor led to:

• Years of continued investment (over $300,000 in total)
• Neglect of his writing career
• Significant strain on his personal finances
• Ultimate failure when the machine proved impractical and was outperformed by simpler alternatives

This investment exemplifies Twain's tendency to be blinded by technological promise and his inability to recognize when to cut his losses.

4. Twain's publishing ventures: A mix of success and failure

"I am terribly tired of business."

Charles L. Webster & Company. Twain established his own publishing company in 1884, hoping to maximize profits from his and others' books. Initial successes included:

• "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn"
• General Grant's memoirs

Downfall. The company's decline was due to:

• Overextension into unprofitable titles
• Mismanagement and embezzlement
• Twain's distraction with other ventures

Twain's experience in publishing demonstrates his entrepreneurial spirit but also his limitations as a businessman, ultimately contributing to his financial troubles.

5. Bankruptcy and world tour: Twain's journey to financial recovery

"I hope you will never get the like of the load saddled onto you that was saddled onto me three years ago."

Financial crisis. In 1894, Twain faced bankruptcy due to his failed investments and the collapse of his publishing company. To address this, he:

• Transferred his assets to his wife, Livy
• Embarked on a worldwide lecture tour

Recovery efforts. The lecture tour was both physically demanding and financially successful, allowing Twain to:

• Repay his creditors in full
• Rebuild his reputation
• Reconnect with his global audience

This period showcases Twain's resilience and dedication to honoring his debts, as well as his ability to leverage his fame for financial recovery.

6. H.H. Rogers: Twain's unlikely savior and friend

"The only man I care for in the world; the only man I would give a damn for; the only man who is lavishing his sweat and blood to save me & mine."

Unexpected alliance. H.H. Rogers, a Standard Oil tycoon, became Twain's financial advisor and close friend during his bankruptcy. Rogers:

• Restructured Twain's debts
• Managed his investments
• Helped Twain regain financial stability

Contrasting personas. The friendship between Twain, a humorist and social critic, and Rogers, a ruthless businessman, seemed unlikely. However, their bond endured, highlighting Twain's complex relationships with wealth and those who possessed it.

7. Twain's legacy: A cautionary tale of business misadventures

"To succeed in business . . . avoid my example."

Enduring fame. Despite his financial troubles, Twain's literary legacy remains strong, with his works continuing to sell and his image becoming a valuable brand.

Lessons learned. Twain's business failures offer valuable insights:

• The dangers of speculative investments
• The importance of due diligence in business ventures
• The need to balance creative pursuits with practical financial management

Twain's experiences serve as a reminder that even great talent and fame do not guarantee business acumen, and that financial success often requires a different skill set than artistic achievement.

Last updated: November 19, 2024