Integrity

1. Integrity: The Courage to Meet Reality's Demands

Integrity is the courage to meet the demands of reality.

Defining Integrity. Integrity, in this context, goes beyond mere honesty and ethical behavior. It encompasses the ability to face and deal with reality, no matter how challenging or unpleasant. It's about having the character to make tough decisions and take responsibility for the consequences.

Demands of Reality. Reality presents various demands, including interpersonal challenges, negative situations, and obstacles to achieving goals. A person of integrity doesn't shy away from these demands but confronts them head-on with courage and determination.

Character's Role. Character determines one's ability to meet these demands. It's the internal makeup that enables individuals to navigate difficult situations, make sound judgments, and ultimately succeed in their endeavors. Without integrity, talents and abilities are often undermined, leading to unfulfilled potential.

2. The Wake: Measuring True Leadership Impact

When a person travels through a company, like Brad’s sales guy, he or she leaves a wake behind as well.

Two Sides of the Wake. A leader's impact can be measured by the "wake" they leave behind, which consists of two key elements: the task (results achieved) and the relationships (impact on people). A positive wake indicates a leader who not only delivers results but also fosters trust, growth, and fulfillment in others.

Task-Oriented Wake. This aspect reflects the leader's ability to achieve goals, drive profits, and accomplish the mission. A positive task-oriented wake is characterized by completed projects, a stronger brand, and improved systems.

Relationship-Oriented Wake. This side reflects the leader's impact on the people they interact with. A positive relationship-oriented wake is characterized by increased trust, growth, and fulfillment among team members, clients, and partners. A negative wake includes:

• Wounded people
• Less trust
• Anger
• Disappointment

3. Trust: The Bedrock of All Success

They have to have the character to not screw it up.

Beyond Competence. While competence and deal-making abilities are essential, they are not enough to guarantee success. Character, particularly the ability to build and maintain trust, is the critical ingredient that prevents talented individuals from derailing their own progress.

Defining Trust. Trust goes beyond simply being honest and ethical. It involves a deeper sense of reliability, dependability, and a commitment to acting in the best interests of others. It's about being someone who can be counted on to do the right thing, even when no one is watching.

The High Cost of Broken Trust. Relationships without trust are fragile and easily broken. Whether in business, marriage, or personal friendships, the absence of trust can lead to resentment, betrayal, and ultimately, the disintegration of the relationship.

4. Connection: The Heart's Bridge to Trust

True listening and understanding occurs only when the other person understands that you understand.

Empathy as a Foundation. Connection is built on empathy, the ability to enter into another person's experience and understand their feelings. It requires active listening, validation, and a genuine desire to see the world from their perspective.

Involvement in the "Other". Connection is the opposite of detachment. It's about crossing the space to actually enter into another person’s world through the curiosity and desire to know them, to understand them, to be “with” them, to be present with them, and ultimately to care for them.

The Power of Validation. Invalidation, on the other hand, destroys connection. It occurs when a person's experience is dismissed or negated, leaving them feeling unheard and misunderstood. Leaders who invalidate their team members' concerns create a climate of distrust and disengagement.

5. Favor: Going Beyond Win-Win to Genuine Care

To trust means to be careless.

Beyond Mutual Benefit. True trust extends beyond the "win-win" mentality. It involves a genuine concern for the well-being of others, even when there is no direct benefit to oneself. It's about looking out for their interests, protecting them from harm, and acting in their best interests.

The Wake of Favor. Leaders who prioritize the well-being of their team members create a wake of loyalty, commitment, and high performance. People are more likely to go the extra mile for someone who genuinely cares about them.

Grace as a Guiding Principle. Grace, defined as "unmerited favor," is a key component of building trust. It involves extending help and support to others, not because they have earned it, but because it's the right thing to do.

6. Vulnerability: The Strength to Show Weakness

Her vulnerability is what made her power available to me.

The Power Paradox. Trust requires a balance of power and vulnerability. While strength and competence are essential, they must be tempered with a willingness to show vulnerability and connect with others on a human level.

The Importance of "Likeness". People are more likely to trust leaders who are relatable and "like" them. This involves sharing personal experiences, admitting mistakes, and showing empathy for their struggles.

The Transmuting Power of Connection. When leaders are willing to be vulnerable, they create a space for others to connect with their strength and draw inspiration from their example. This can lead to a powerful transformation in individuals and organizations.

7. Truth: The Compass for Navigating Reality

Character = the ability to meet the demands of reality.

Beyond Honesty. While honesty is a fundamental aspect of integrity, it's not enough. A true orientation toward truth involves a relentless pursuit of reality, a willingness to challenge assumptions, and a commitment to seeing things as they are, not as we wish them to be.

The Wake of Truth. Leaders who are oriented toward truth create a culture of transparency, accountability, and continuous improvement. They are able to make sound decisions based on accurate information and inspire others to do the same.

The Cost of Denial. Denial, on the other hand, leads to poor decisions, missed opportunities, and ultimately, failure. Leaders who are unwilling to face the truth are doomed to repeat their mistakes.

8. Growth: The Inevitable Path to Increase

To trust means to be careless.

The Drive to Become More. Integrated characters possess a natural drive to grow, learn, and develop their abilities. They are constantly seeking new experiences, challenging themselves, and pushing beyond their comfort zones.

Use It or Lose It. Growth requires active engagement and continuous learning. Skills and abilities that are not used will atrophy over time. The key is to find ways to stay challenged and engaged in meaningful activities.

The Power of Mentorship. Seeking guidance from mentors and role models is essential for growth. These individuals can provide valuable insights, feedback, and support, helping you to navigate challenges and reach your full potential.

9. Transcendence: Finding Meaning Beyond the Self

To trust means to be careless.

Beyond Self-Interest. Transcendence involves a shift in focus from self-interest to something larger than oneself. It's about finding meaning and purpose in serving others, contributing to a greater cause, or living in accordance with deeply held values.

The Paradox of Greatness. True greatness is not achieved by seeking it directly but by serving something larger than oneself. By focusing on the needs of others and contributing to the greater good, individuals often find that they achieve a level of fulfillment and impact that they never thought possible.

The Wake of Transcendence. Leaders who are oriented toward transcendence inspire others to connect with their own sense of purpose and contribute to something meaningful. They create a culture of service, compassion, and a commitment to making a positive impact on the world.

Last updated: May 15, 2025