Shattered Promises, Shattered Lives

Xavi, wracked with guilt and addiction, teeters on the edge of a cliff, both literally and emotionally, haunted by the death of his best friend Katy. The prologue thrusts us into his pain, as he contemplates ending his life, clutching a blindfold and a bottle, his mind swirling with memories and regrets. A desperate text interrupts his spiral, pulling him back from the brink, but the darkness remains. The story's foundation is set: two boys, Xavi and Nate, bound by love, hate, and the loss of the girl who connected them. Their shared grief is a wound that refuses to heal, and the promise they made to Katy—to keep living—hangs over every choice they make.

Two Years of Silence

Two years earlier, Xavi stumbles into a hospital, high and desperate, only to learn Katy is dead. Nate, Katy's brother, is consumed by rage and grief, blaming Xavi for her overdose. Their confrontation is raw and violent, with Nate declaring Xavi "dead to me." The loss of Katy fractures their world, leaving both boys isolated—Xavi drowning in addiction and self-loathing, Nate fleeing home and family, unable to face the pain. The chapter establishes the emotional chasm between them, the guilt that haunts Xavi, and the hatred that fuels Nate, setting the stage for their reluctant reunion.

Unwelcome Reunion

In the present, Xavi arrives at the college house he was meant to share with Katy, only to be met with Nate's fury. Their first encounter is explosive—Nate's violence barely concealing his own pain. Xavi, battered but determined, refuses to leave, clinging to the plan he and Katy made. The house is a minefield of memories and unresolved tension, with Carter, Nate's best friend, orchestrating Xavi's arrival for his own amusement. The chapter pulses with unresolved longing and resentment, as Xavi and Nate are forced into proximity, unable to escape the ghosts of their past.

House of Hostility

Xavi moves into the house, navigating the cold hostility of Nate and the manipulations of Carter. The housemates—Carter, Easton, and Frankie—each bring their own baggage, but it's the simmering animosity between Xavi and Nate that dominates. Xavi clings to memories of Katy, her photo strip his only comfort. Nate, meanwhile, is haunted by guilt and anger, unable to let go of the past. The house becomes a crucible, forcing them to confront their pain, their attraction, and the possibility of something more than hate.

Ghosts in the Bathtub

A flashback reveals a moment of joy and chaos: Katy and Xavi, fully clothed, singing in a bathtub, only to be discovered by Nate and Carter. Nate's protectiveness over his sister and his jealousy over Xavi's closeness to her are palpable. The scene is laced with longing and regret, as Nate's anger masks his own complicated feelings for Xavi. The memory underscores what's been lost—not just Katy, but the innocence and connection they once shared.

Carter's Games

Carter, ever the puppet master, delights in stirring the pot, orchestrating Xavi's move-in and pushing Nate's buttons. He's both confidant and antagonist, his own history with Nate and Xavi adding layers of complexity. Carter's actions force Nate and Xavi into confrontation, but also into moments of vulnerability. The house's dynamics are a powder keg, with Carter lighting the fuse for his own entertainment, but also, perhaps, out of a twisted sense of care.

Sins and Scars

Nate's hatred for Xavi is a mask for deeper feelings—guilt, longing, and a need for control. He sneaks into Xavi's room at night, torn between the urge to hurt and the urge to touch. Xavi, for his part, is both terrified and drawn to Nate's darkness, his own self-loathing making him crave punishment. Their interactions are charged with violence and desire, each seeking absolution in the other's pain. The scars they inflict—physical and emotional—are both wounds and bonds.

Party Boy, Broken Boy

Xavi, struggling to stay sober, is lured to a party by Easton, where the temptations of his old life threaten to overwhelm him. The chaos of the party mirrors his internal turmoil, and a confrontation with Nate outside is electric with anger and unresolved attraction. Nate's touch is both punishment and promise, and Xavi's response is a mix of fear and longing. The night ends with both boys more entangled than ever, their hate a thin veneer over something far more dangerous.

Blindfolded Dares

Haunted by Katy's bucket list, Xavi attempts to honor her memory by completing her dares—skinny dipping blindfolded, risking humiliation and pain. The act is both tribute and self-punishment, a way to feel close to her and to atone for his perceived failures. Nate's unexpected concern when he finds Xavi injured is a crack in his armor, a moment of care that neither can acknowledge. The list becomes a symbol of both hope and grief, a thread tying Xavi to the world and to Nate.

Nighttime Confessions

Nate's obsession with Xavi deepens—he watches him sleep, snoops through his things, and sabotages his routines. The line between hate and desire blurs, as Nate's need to control Xavi becomes a twisted form of intimacy. Xavi, meanwhile, is desperate for any scrap of attention, even if it comes in the form of cruelty. Their nightly rituals are a dance of proximity and denial, each afraid to admit how much they need the other.

Locked Doors, Open Wounds

Xavi, late for therapy after Nate disables his alarm, is pushed to his breaking point. Their confrontation in the kitchen is a battle of wills, with Xavi finally showing anger, and Nate perversely pleased by the reaction. The locked door becomes a symbol—Xavi's attempt to protect himself, and Nate's frustration at being shut out. Both are trapped by their own defenses, unable to reach for the comfort they crave.

College Without Her

Xavi struggles to find his place at college, surrounded by reminders of Katy and the life they were supposed to share. His interactions with Frankie are tinged with jealousy and longing, as he watches her move through the world with a confidence he can't muster. The absence of Katy is a constant ache, and Xavi's attempts to connect with others only highlight how alone he feels. The world moves on, but he remains stuck in grief.

Coffee Shop Jealousies

Nate and Frankie's easy camaraderie is a source of pain for Xavi, who watches from the sidelines, convinced he'll never have what they share. Nate's possessiveness flares when others show interest in Xavi, but he refuses to acknowledge his own feelings. Their interactions are a series of near-misses and miscommunications, each too afraid to reach for what they want. The coffee shop becomes a stage for their silent war, every glance loaded with meaning.

Courtside Longing

Xavi attends Nate's basketball games in secret, narrating the action for Katy in his mind. The court is both sanctuary and torture, a place where he can be close to Nate without being seen. Nate, for his part, senses Xavi's presence, their connection palpable even across a crowded stadium. The game is a metaphor for their relationship—full of missed opportunities, unspoken support, and the ache of what might have been.

Afterparty Tensions

At the team's afterparty, tensions boil over. Carter's provocations, Nate's jealousy, and Xavi's vulnerability collide in a charged confrontation. Nate's anger gives way to desire, and their first physical encounter is as much about hate as it is about need. The sex is rough, desperate, and cathartic—a release of years of pain and longing. But the aftermath is cold, with Nate pushing Xavi away, leaving him more broken than before.

Hate-Fueled Surrender

Xavi is left reeling, unable to shake the memory of Nate's touch. He oscillates between self-loathing and hope, desperate for more even as he knows it will hurt. Nate, meanwhile, is tormented by his own actions, unable to stay away but unwilling to offer comfort. Their dynamic is toxic and magnetic, each feeding off the other's pain. The cycle of hurt and desire intensifies, drawing them ever closer to the edge.

The Day After

Frankie's struggles with her own demons come to the fore, her vulnerability mirroring Xavi's. Nate's protectiveness extends to her, revealing a softer side beneath his anger. The housemates form a makeshift family, bound by shared pain and the need for connection. Xavi, watching from the outside, yearns to be included, to be chosen. The chapter is a reminder that healing is possible, but only if they let each other in.

Chasing Pain

Xavi's spiral deepens, his attempts to numb himself with old habits leading him back to dangerous places. Nate's anger turns to fear when he realizes how close Xavi is to the edge. Their confrontation is raw, with Nate forced to admit that his hatred is a mask for something deeper. The threat of loss becomes real, and both are forced to confront what they truly mean to each other.

Cemetery Truths

A visit to Katy's grave brings old wounds to the surface. Nate and Xavi, surrounded by memories, finally begin to speak honestly about their pain. The cemetery is a place of reckoning, where blame and guilt are laid bare. The act of sharing Katy's bucket list becomes a step toward healing, a way to honor her memory and move forward. Forgiveness is not immediate, but the possibility is born.

The List

Katy's list becomes a roadmap for Xavi's recovery—a series of dares that force him to engage with life, to take risks, and to let go of the past. Nate, drawn in despite himself, becomes a reluctant partner in these adventures. Each item crossed off is a small victory, a step away from grief and toward something new. The list is both a burden and a gift, a way to keep Katy close while learning to live without her.

Blackmail and Betrayal

The past catches up with Xavi in the form of Devin, his manipulative ex-dealer, who threatens to expose secrets that could destroy everything. Blackmail, shame, and the threat of violence force Xavi to confront the darkest parts of his history. Carter's involvement is revealed, adding another layer of betrayal. The truth, when it comes out, is devastating, but it also clears the way for honesty and, ultimately, healing.

Breaking Point

Pushed to the brink by guilt and blackmail, Xavi contemplates ending his life, only to be pulled back by Carter's intervention. The moment is a crucible, burning away pretense and forcing Xavi to choose life, however painful. Nate, learning the truth, is forced to confront his own role in Xavi's suffering. Their shared pain becomes a bridge, allowing them to finally see each other as they are—flawed, wounded, and worthy of love.

Love Like Ruin

With the truth laid bare, Nate and Xavi finally admit their feelings, choosing each other in defiance of their pasts and the expectations of others. Their love is messy, hard-won, and deeply imperfect, but it is real. They face down family disapproval, public scrutiny, and their own fears, determined to build something lasting from the ruins of their pain. The act of loving each other becomes an act of rebellion and redemption.

Healing, Together

In the aftermath, Nate and Xavi work to build a life together, honoring Katy's memory by living fully and loving fiercely. They complete her list, get matching tattoos, and begin to imagine a future beyond grief. The scars remain, but they are no longer wounds—they are reminders of survival, of love that endures. Surrounded by their found family, they learn that healing is not forgetting, but carrying the past with grace and hope.

Characters

Xavi Hart

Xavi is a young man broken by loss, addiction, and guilt. Katy's death leaves him adrift, clinging to her memory through a bucket list and mementos. His relationship with Nate is fraught—he craves both punishment and affection, believing he deserves neither. Xavi's self-destructive tendencies are a shield against pain, but also a cry for connection. His journey is one of slow, painful healing, learning to accept love and forgive himself. His dynamic with Nate is volatile, but ultimately transformative, as both learn to move beyond hate and into something resembling hope.

Nate Grayson

Nate is defined by loss and rage, his sister's death a wound that festers into hatred for Xavi. He flees his family, immersing himself in basketball and casual sex, but nothing fills the void. Nate's need for control manifests as violence and cruelty, especially toward Xavi, whom he blames for everything. Beneath the anger is a deep well of guilt and longing—Nate's feelings for Xavi are as much about love as they are about pain. His arc is one of reckoning, as he learns to confront his own role in the tragedy and to choose vulnerability over vengeance.

Katy Grayson

Though dead before the story begins, Katy's presence is felt in every chapter. Blind but fiercely independent, she was the glue that held Xavi and Nate together. Her bucket list becomes a symbol of hope and a roadmap for healing. Katy's love for both boys is unconditional, and her loss is the catalyst for their journey. She represents innocence lost, but also the possibility of redemption through memory and action.

Carter Westwood

Carter is both instigator and confidant, orchestrating much of the drama for his own amusement but also out of a twisted sense of loyalty. His history with both Nate and Xavi is complicated—he's slept with both, kept their secrets, and intervened at crucial moments. Carter's actions are often self-serving, but he is also the one who pulls Xavi back from the brink, and who ultimately helps facilitate reconciliation. His role is that of the chaotic friend whose meddling, while destructive, is sometimes exactly what's needed.

Frankie

Frankie is a survivor in her own right, hiding pain behind bravado and wild behavior. She becomes a source of comfort and camaraderie for both Nate and Xavi, her own struggles with depression and family echoing theirs. Frankie's loyalty is fierce, and her presence in the house helps create a sense of found family. She is both confidant and provocateur, pushing the boys to confront their feelings and supporting them through their darkest moments.

Easton Miller

Easton is the house's gentle giant, a basketball player with a big heart and a knack for making Xavi feel seen. His kindness is a balm for Xavi's loneliness, and his friendship is genuine, untainted by the drama that swirls around the others. Easton's presence is a reminder that not all connections are fraught, and that healing can come from unexpected places.

Devin

Devin is Xavi's ex-dealer and abuser, a figure from his darkest days who resurfaces to threaten his recovery and safety. He represents the dangers of addiction, the power of secrets, and the destructive pull of the past. Devin's blackmail and lies force Xavi to confront his history and to seek help, ultimately serving as the catalyst for the final reckoning.

Xavi's Parents

Xavi's parents are largely absent or critical, their inability to support him compounding his sense of isolation. Their reactions to his sexuality and struggles with addiction are unsympathetic, reinforcing his belief that he is unworthy of love. Their presence in the story is a reminder of the damage that can be done by those who are supposed to care most.

Nate's Parents

Nate's parents are obsessed with appearances and success, unable to process Katy's death or Nate's sexuality. Their demands and lack of empathy drive Nate further from home, fueling his anger and sense of alienation. Their eventual confrontation with [N

Last updated: August 7, 2025