Listen, Love, Repeat

1. Live alert: Cultivate the art of hearing heart drops

A heart drop is a concept my husband and I learned from our small group leader, Michael. It's when a person, either directly or in a cryptic way, gives you a peek into his or her heart.

Tuning your ears. To hear heart drops, live with eyes and ears wide open. Don't sleepwalk through your schedule. Focus on the face in front of you, the email in your inbox, the appointment on your calendar. Climb behind their eyeballs and see the world from their perspective, even for a moment.

Responding with love. When you detect a heart drop, prayerfully consider how to encourage that person. Could you phone them? Text them a Bible verse? Write them a note? People need to know that others care. Don't become so busy that you turn a deaf ear to the heart drops around you.

Practical steps:

• Pray each day for God to tune your ears and soften your heart
• Take notes (mental or physical) when you hear someone mention a like or interest
• Pay attention to special dates and set reminders to follow up
• Be observant on social media for clues about people's lives and needs

2. Find your why: Relationships are the highest good in life

If you want to find your life, first you need to lose it. In order to bring joy to yourself, first you need to be more concerned with bringing joy to others.

Relationships matter most. The Bible teaches that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love others. Our purpose on earth is to strengthen our relationship with God and help others do the same. This happens within the context of human relationships.

Overcoming self-centeredness. Our culture is obsessed with self, but we are called to think of others first. This requires great effort and intentionality. We must live alert, looking for opportunities to encourage and help those around us. When we do, we reflect God's heart toward humankind.

Practical application:

• Make a list of your key relationships (family, friends, coworkers, neighbors)
• Pray for opportunities to strengthen these relationships
• Look for ways to serve and encourage others daily
• Practice active listening and empathy in conversations
• Cultivate a "There you are!" attitude instead of a "Here I am!" mentality

3. Give of yourself: Time is your most precious gift

Because Mary's actions had such a great impact on me, it caused me to ponder what a powerful gift our time is.

The value of presence. In our busy culture, giving our time and undivided attention is one of the most meaningful ways we can show love. When we clear our schedules to be there for others, it communicates that they are important and valued.

Practical ways to give time:

• Help someone check something off their to-do list
• Lighten someone's domestic load (laundry, cleaning, cooking)
• Run errands for others while doing your own
• Cook extra meals to share with those in need
• Spend time listening and offering empathy to those going through difficult times

Be prepared to receive. Often when we give of our time, we end up being blessed in return. We may gain new perspectives, deepen relationships, or experience the joy of serving. Be open to how God might work in your own life as you invest time in others.

4. Notice the necessary people: See God's image in everyone

Every day and every week, our lives naturally intersect with many people, all of whom bear the image of God. When we look beyond ourselves—and beyond the flaws and quirks of others—we see God.

Recognize the imago dei. Every person we encounter, from the mail carrier to the grocery store clerk, is created in God's image. When we treat them with kindness and respect, we honor their inherent dignity and worth.

Practical ways to show appreciation:

• Learn people's names and use them
• Express genuine thanks for their service
• Leave encouraging notes or small gifts
• Pray for the people who help you in daily life
• Look for opportunities to brighten someone's day

Cultivate respect. Use polite language and a kind tone with everyone you encounter. Teach children to do the same. When we speak and act respectfully, we reflect God's love to a watching world.

5. Comfort the sick at heart: Be present in others' grief

Grief does not go away quickly. Often people carry its weight for years, even decades. When we listen for their heart drops, we can purpose to show them love and help to lighten their load.

Share in sorrow. Romans 12:15 instructs us to "weep with those who weep." This requires emotional investment and can be uncomfortable, but it's a powerful way to show Christ's love.

Practical ways to comfort:

• Give them space and time to grieve
• Remember their loved one out loud
• Invite them along to activities
• Mark important dates on your calendar and reach out
• Offer practical help (meals, childcare, errands)

Be present without fixing. Often, the most helpful thing we can do is simply be there and listen. Avoid platitudes or trying to explain away the pain. Let them know it's okay to feel all their emotions and that you're there to support them.

6. Practice hospitality: Make your home a haven for others

If there is room in your heart, you'll make room in your home.

Shift your perspective. Remember that everything we have comes from God and is meant to be shared. This makes it easier when things get broken or stained in the process of showing hospitality.

Practical steps for hospitality:

• Prepare your heart through prayer
• Stock your pantry with easy-to-serve items
• Create a welcoming atmosphere (physically and emotionally)
• Learn to listen well and refrain from preaching
• Follow up with guests after they visit

Expand your definition. Hospitality isn't just about your physical home. Look for ways to be welcoming and generous in all areas of life – your office, your car, your recreational activities. Share what you have with an open heart.

7. Set the lonely in families: Embrace those who need belonging

God certainly has the means to comfort the afflicted (and perhaps afflict the comfortable, who might see such reaching out as being waaaaay out of their comfort zone!), but he chooses to work through us and through our families.

Be a family to the familyless. God's plan is for people to live in community. Look for those who may be isolated or lacking strong family connections. Invite them into your life and treat them as you would your own family members.

Practical ways to include others:

• Invite them to holiday celebrations
• Include them in everyday family activities
• Offer practical help and emotional support
• Create traditions that make them feel part of your family
• Be consistent in your care and attention

Receive the blessing. When we open our lives to others, we often find that we are the ones who are most blessed. Be prepared for how God might work in your own heart as you set the lonely in families.

8. Love the hard-to-love: Reflect Christ's unconditional love

When we do good to those who would seek to harm us or show love to those who mistreat or talk badly about us, we are modeling Jesus' behavior.

Choose love over judgment. It's easy to love those who are lovable, but Christ calls us to a higher standard. We are to love even our enemies and those who are difficult to like.

Practical steps for loving the hard-to-love:

• Pray for them and for yourself
• Go slow and be patient in building relationships
• Be curious about their background and experiences
• Look for ways to serve without expectation of return
• Keep showing up, even when it's not reciprocated
• Focus on Christ as your ultimate motivation

Discern between weakness and wickedness. While we're called to love everyone, we may need to set boundaries with those who are deliberately pursuing evil. Seek wisdom in how to respond to different situations.

9. Nurture your nearest and dearest: Strengthen family bonds

Children love stories. Whether it is a Walt Disney classic book or new release on the big screen, an old-fashioned fairy tale or a crazy impromptu bedtime story, kids love to listen to stories unfold.

Cultivate family identity. Create traditions, inside jokes, and shared experiences that are unique to your family. This fosters a sense of belonging and strengthens relationships.

Practical ways to nurture family:

• Practice active listening with family members
• Eat meals together regularly without screens
• Play "One Thing" – sharing appreciations for each other
• Send encouraging group texts
• Pray for family members and let them know
• Give "unbirthday" gifts to show love randomly

Embrace your unique family. Every family is different. Instead of comparing or wishing things were different, celebrate the quirks and personalities that make your family special.

10. Scatter kindness: Live an other-centered life in a self-centered world

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter, that tells you what kind of life you have lived.

Live with purpose. God created us to do good works that He prepared in advance for us. Our kindness can be a conduit for others to discover God's grace and salvation.

Practical ways to scatter kindness:

• Look for opportunities to encourage others daily
• Perform random acts of kindness
• Write notes of appreciation
• Offer help without being asked
• Smile and greet people warmly
• Pay attention to those often overlooked

Focus on eternity. Remember that our ultimate goal is to help others know Christ. While we're not saved by good works, we are saved to do good works. Let your kindness point others to God's love and grace.

Last updated: August 21, 2024