Key Takeaways
1. Embrace Your Innate Irresistibility
You are not your mind.
Recognize your true nature. You are a glorious being behind your mind, an observer and listener. Your irresistibility lies in the present moment, where you access the infinite source of beauty and aliveness inherent in every living creature. By disengaging from mental chatter and being fully present, you allow your innate irresistibility to shine through.
Practice self-awareness. Observe yourself without judgment, like an anthropologist studying a culture of one. When you notice behaviors that don't serve you, simply acknowledge them without criticism. This nonjudgmental awareness facilitates effortless resolution and allows you to naturally stop doing things that drive men away.
- Recognize that you're already irresistible
- Practice being present and disengaged from mental chatter
- Observe yourself without judgment
2. Live in the Present Moment
Life is now. Life can only be now.
Adopt a "this is it" attitude. Many people live as if their current circumstances aren't "it," always waiting for something better. This mindset leads to mediocrity and dissatisfaction. Instead, fully invest in each moment exactly as it is, treating everything as if it matters.
Engage fully in your life. When you approach life like "this is it," you experience a quantum shift in your reality. You become more relaxed, present, and inexplicably more irresistible. Excellence shows up effortlessly in your life.
- Treat every moment as if it's "it"
- Fully invest in your current circumstances
- Recognize that "this is it" attitude = massive irresistibility
3. Abandon Rigid Dating Rules
To hell with the rules!
Embrace authenticity over manipulation. Dating rules are often based on fear and scarcity, designed to keep your partner off-balance. Instead of following rigid rules, focus on being authentic and communicating your truth. True and lasting love springs from authenticity, not manipulation.
Be yourself from the start. Who you are being makes all the difference when it comes to authentic irresistibility. Instead of trying to follow rules or techniques, focus on being centered and self-aware. This allows you to break every rule in the book while remaining irresistible.
- Reject manipulation-based dating rules
- Focus on authenticity and communication
- Remember: who you are being is more important than what you do
4. Cultivate a Full and Engaging Life
Having your own life is authentically irresistible because it keeps you (and him) from losing yourselves in the relationship.
Maintain your individuality. Many women make the mistake of abandoning their own lives when they start dating someone new. This leads to feeling lost, confused, and resentful. Instead, include your new romance in your already existing life.
Invest in yourself. Success is sexy. When you live an inspired and energized life, men naturally find you irresistible. Invest in your health, create community, make a difference, learn new skills, and have fun. This keeps both you and your partner interested and engaged.
- Keep your own life and interests
- Include your partner in your life, don't shrink to fit theirs
- Invest in your personal growth and success
5. Communicate Authentically and Listen Actively
True listening happens when you drop those internal conversations in your mind and simply hear what a man is saying to you from his perspective, as though what he is saying is the most important thing on earth and you need to hear every single word.
Practice true listening. Most people don't really listen; they judge, agree or disagree, or wait for their turn to speak. True listening involves dropping your internal dialogue and fully hearing the other person's perspective. This makes you instantly attractive and helps create deeper connections.
Communicate honestly and directly. Speak your truth from the beginning of a relationship and never stop. This sets the foundation for long-term success and maintains your irresistibility. Be authentic about your feelings, but avoid blame or manipulation.
- Listen without judging or interpreting
- Communicate your truth compassionately
- Avoid blame and manipulation in your communication
6. Let Go of Past Relationship Baggage
Your Parents Didn't Screw You Up (and Even if They Did . . .)
Release old grievances. Many people blame their current relationship struggles on their parents or past experiences. This victim mentality limits your potential for love and growth. Instead, recognize that your past experiences have brought you to this moment and served your personal evolution.
Practice forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others for past hurts. This doesn't mean excusing bad behavior, but rather freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. Each moment provides a clean slate to start anew.
- Recognize how holding onto past grievances limits you
- Practice forgiveness of yourself and others
- Use each moment as a fresh start
7. Maintain Your Identity in Relationships
Expand your world. Don't shrink to fit his.
Avoid the "pretzel dance." Many women twist themselves into who they think their partner wants them to be, losing their own identity in the process. This approach never works and leads to resentment and dissatisfaction.
Be yourself and communicate your needs. Commit to being yourself from the start and communicating your truth, no matter what. This allows relationships to unfold naturally and authentically, maintaining your irresistibility throughout.
- Don't change yourself to fit someone else's expectations
- Maintain your own interests and identity
- Communicate your needs and boundaries clearly
8. Perfect Your Personal Packaging
How you look impacts how you feel.
Invest in your appearance. While inner beauty is crucial, your outer appearance communicates important information about you. Take care of your physical self as an expression of self-love and respect.
Pay attention to details. Irresistible women attend to the details of their appearance. This doesn't mean obsessing over perfection, but rather ensuring that everything from your clothes to your grooming supports your irresistibility.
- Update your wardrobe to reflect your current self
- Invest in proper grooming and self-care
- Remember that everything matters in your presentation
9. Quit Complaining and Start Engaging
You can meet more men everywhere, starting today. It's your attitude that matters most.
Redirect your attention outward. Instead of getting lost in mental complaints, practice engaging with your environment. This opens you up to new opportunities and makes you more attractive to others.
Practice full engagement. Bring your total presence – mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual energy – to whatever you're doing. This habit of being fully engaged makes you naturally irresistible.
- Stop internal complaining and engage with your environment
- Connect with everyone, not just potential romantic partners
- Practice being fully present in all activities
10. Recognize Relationships as Spiritual Opportunities
Relationships are a spiritual opportunity for personal evolution.
Shift your perspective on relationships. Instead of viewing relationships as a needs exchange, see them as opportunities for personal growth and spiritual evolution. This perspective allows for deeper connections and more fulfilling partnerships.
Focus on giving, not getting. When you engage in relationships to see what you can put into them rather than what you can get out of them, your whole life transforms. You begin to see your partner as a teacher and ally in your personal growth journey.
- View relationships as opportunities for growth
- Focus on what you can contribute to the relationship
- See your partner as a teacher and ally in your evolution
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Review Summary
Make Every Man Want You received mixed reviews. Some readers found it empowering and inspiring, praising its focus on self-love and living in the present. Others criticized it as shallow, repetitive, and offering generic advice. Many felt the title was misleading, as the book is more about personal growth than attracting men. Some appreciated the author's writing style and humor, while others found it simplistic and potentially harmful, especially regarding trauma. Overall, opinions varied widely, with some finding it life-changing and others dismissing it as unhelpful.
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