MAN UP

1. Embrace Authentic Manhood: Define Your Own Path

"It is time to stop apologizing for being men and trying to fit into the mold society says we should."

Redefine masculinity. Society often portrays men as bumbling idiots, controlling monsters, or spineless saps. Reject these stereotypes and embrace your authentic self. True masculinity involves:

• Asserting yourself confidently
• Protecting what's important to you
• Standing up for others
• Opening doors (literally and figuratively) for people
• Balancing strength with tenderness

Follow your passions. Don't let others dictate your interests or career path. The author's father, a horse enthusiast, allowed him to pursue his own interests in mechanics and motorsports. Embrace your unique qualities and goals, even if they differ from societal expectations or family traditions.

2. Take Ownership of Your Life and Health

"If you're not willing to MAN UP in your health, just go ahead and say to your wife, 'Here are my testicles, honey, I really don't think I need them anymore.'"

Prioritize your well-being. Many men neglect their health, relying on wives to manage doctor's appointments and medications. Take control of your physical and mental health:

• Schedule your own check-ups and screenings
• Manage your own medications and supplements
• Exercise regularly, even if it's just bodyweight exercises at home
• Eat a balanced diet
• Get adequate sleep

Overcome excuses. Common barriers to health include lack of time, money, or knowledge. Combat these by:

• Waking up earlier to exercise
• Finding free workout resources online
• Educating yourself about nutrition and fitness
• Making health a non-negotiable priority

Remember, investing in your health benefits not just you, but your family and career as well.

3. Cultivate Meaningful Male Friendships

"As men we need those close relationships with other men where the mentality is: I've been in your shoes, I know what you are going through, I have your back no matter what, but I'm not your yes man."

Build a brotherhood. Many men struggle to form deep friendships as adults. Overcome this by:

• Being vulnerable and authentic with other men
• Actively listening without trying to "fix" everything
• Engaging in shared activities or hobbies
• Offering and accepting accountability

Create your inner circle. Develop a small group of trusted male friends who can:

• Offer support during tough times
• Challenge you to grow
• Provide honest feedback
• Share life experiences and wisdom

Remember, friendship requires effort and investment. Make time for regular connection, whether through scheduled activities or spontaneous check-ins.

4. Nurture Your Marriage with Intentionality

"Living out true love is not a give-and-take, and as hard as it can be, there is no 'take' in love."

Prioritize your partnership. A strong marriage requires consistent effort and attention. Focus on:

• Communication: Listen actively and express yourself honestly
• Quality time: Schedule regular date nights and shared activities
• Physical affection: Show love through both sexual and non-sexual touch
• Respect: Treat your wife as an equal partner, not a subordinate
• Support: Encourage her dreams and personal growth

Overcome common pitfalls:

• Avoid pornography, which can damage intimacy and skew expectations
• Don't use the phrase "Happy wife, happy life" as an excuse for resentment
• Address issues promptly instead of letting them fester
• Apologize sincerely when you're wrong

Remember, your wife is your teammate, not your opponent. Work together to build a strong, loving relationship.

5. Be an Active, Engaged Father

"Heroes look for opportunities to be a hero, to serve someone in need. As fathers, are we looking for those opportunities to be the hero?"

Be present and involved. Your children need more than just financial provision. They need your time, attention, and guidance. Focus on:

• Quality time: Engage in activities they enjoy, even if they're not your favorites
• Physical affection: Wrestle, hug, and show appropriate physical love
• Emotional support: Listen to their concerns and validate their feelings
• Teaching moments: Use everyday situations to impart wisdom and values
• Discipline with love: Set boundaries while maintaining a strong connection

Balance protection and independence:

• Allow age-appropriate risks and challenges
• Teach problem-solving skills
• Encourage decision-making (with guidance)
• Model the behavior you want to see

Remember, your children are always watching. Be the man you want them to become or marry someday.

6. Develop Your Spiritual Life

"If you get anything from this chapter, I hope you understand that no matter what you have done, how far you have run, or even if you have never explored faith in God, He is always there with open arms to welcome you back or embrace you for the first time."

Explore your beliefs. Whether you're religious, spiritual, or uncertain, take time to examine your values and worldview. Consider:

• Reading sacred texts or philosophical works
• Discussing beliefs with others (respectfully)
• Attending religious services or spiritual gatherings
• Practicing meditation or prayer
• Exploring nature and contemplating your place in the universe

Live authentically. Once you've identified your core beliefs, strive to align your actions with your values. This might involve:

• Making ethical decisions in business and personal life
• Serving others through volunteer work or charity
• Practicing forgiveness and compassion
• Teaching your children about your spiritual beliefs
• Finding a community of like-minded individuals for support and growth

Remember, spiritual growth is a journey, not a destination. Be open to new insights and experiences along the way.

7. Pursue Excellence in Your Career

"The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail."

Develop a growth mindset. Embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities to learn and improve. Focus on:

• Continuous learning: Stay updated on industry trends and develop new skills
• Setting ambitious goals: Push yourself beyond your comfort zone
• Seeking feedback: Ask for constructive criticism from mentors and colleagues
• Adapting to change: Be flexible and open to new approaches

Take strategic action:

• Create a clear career plan with short-term and long-term objectives
• Network actively within and outside your industry
• Look for opportunities to add value and solve problems
• Cultivate strong professional relationships

Remember, success often comes from consistent effort over time, not overnight breakthroughs. Stay focused on your long-term vision while taking daily steps toward your goals.

8. Learn from Failure and Keep Moving Forward

"When writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen."

Embrace imperfect progress. No one achieves success without setbacks. The key is to:

• View failures as learning opportunities
• Analyze what went wrong and adjust your approach
• Maintain a positive attitude even during tough times
• Seek support from friends, family, or mentors when needed

Develop resilience:

• Practice self-compassion: Don't beat yourself up over mistakes
• Focus on what you can control: Your actions and reactions
• Set realistic expectations: Progress often comes in small steps
• Celebrate small wins along the way

Remember, your past doesn't define your future. Take ownership of your story and keep moving forward, one step at a time.

Last updated: July 20, 2024