On the Brink of Everything

1. Embrace the View from the Brink of Everything

Every day, I get closer to the brink of everything. We're all headed that way, of course, even when we're young, though most of us are too busy with Important Matters to ponder our mortality.

Aging brings perspective. As we approach the end of life, we gain a unique vantage point that allows us to see our past, present, and future with greater clarity. This perspective can be both challenging and liberating, offering insights that were previously obscured by the busyness of daily life.

Embrace the benefits of aging:

• Rediscovery of simple joys
• Deeper appreciation for life's experiences
• Greater capacity for gratitude
• Increased ability to find meaning in both triumphs and setbacks

By accepting the reality of our mortality, we can paradoxically become more fully alive, savoring each moment and embracing the wisdom that comes with a life well-lived.

2. Foster Intergenerational Connections for Mutual Growth

When young and old connect, it's like joining the poles of a battery. Together, we generate energy for personal and social change that an age-segregated society cuts off.

Intergenerational relationships are vital. By fostering connections between younger and older generations, we create opportunities for mutual learning, growth, and societal progress. These relationships can help bridge gaps in understanding and experience, leading to a more cohesive and dynamic society.

Benefits of intergenerational connections:

• Older adults gain fresh perspectives and energy
• Younger people benefit from wisdom and life experience
• Shared projects and goals can lead to innovative solutions
• Reduced ageism and increased empathy across generations

Actively seek out opportunities to engage with people of different age groups, whether through mentoring programs, community activities, or simply cultivating friendships across generational lines.

3. Cultivate a Contemplative Approach to Life's Challenges

Contemplation does not need to be defined in terms of particular practices, such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, or lectio divina. Instead, it can be defined by its function: contemplation is any way one has of penetrating illusion and touching reality.

Embrace contemplation as a life practice. Rather than viewing contemplation as a formal spiritual exercise, consider it a way of approaching life's challenges with openness, curiosity, and a willingness to confront difficult truths. This approach can lead to greater self-awareness and resilience in the face of adversity.

Ways to cultivate a contemplative approach:

• Practice mindful awareness in daily activities
• Engage in regular self-reflection
• Seek out diverse perspectives to challenge your assumptions
• Embrace failure as an opportunity for growth and learning

By adopting a contemplative mindset, we can move beyond surface-level reactions and develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

4. Differentiate Between Work and Vocation in Later Years

As we grow older, it's important to get clear about the difference between a job and a vocation. Too many older folks, especially men, fall into despair when their jobs end, because they lose not only their primary source of income (and often have to pick up part-time and poorly paid work) but their sense of identity as well.

Redefine purpose beyond employment. As we age, it becomes crucial to distinguish between our job (a means of earning income) and our vocation (a source of meaning and purpose). By cultivating a sense of vocation that transcends paid employment, we can maintain a strong sense of identity and purpose throughout our later years.

Strategies for discovering and nurturing your vocation:

• Reflect on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment
• Identify your unique gifts and how they can benefit others
• Explore volunteer opportunities or passion projects
• Consider ways to share your knowledge and experience with younger generations

By focusing on our vocation rather than solely on paid work, we can continue to find meaning and contribute to society well into our later years.

5. Maintain Engagement with the World as You Age

Our youth-oriented culture sends a message to elders that can discourage and defeat us: "It's time to withdraw from serious engagement with a world that's changing so rapidly you can't possibly keep up. So take up harmless hobbies and hang out at home."

Stay connected and involved. Resisting societal pressure to disengage from the world is crucial for maintaining vitality and purpose in later life. Continued engagement with social issues, community activities, and personal interests can contribute to better mental health and a sense of ongoing relevance.

Ways to stay engaged:

• Follow current events and form educated opinions
• Participate in local community initiatives or political activities
• Share your experiences and perspectives through writing or speaking
• Embrace lifelong learning through classes, workshops, or self-study

By remaining actively engaged with the world around us, we can continue to grow, contribute, and find meaning throughout our later years.

6. Nurture Your Inner Life and Soul

What do I mean by an "inner life"? I mean a largely silent, solitary process of reflection that helps us reclaim the "ground of our being" and root ourselves in something larger and truer than our own egos.

Cultivate inner resources. Developing a rich inner life becomes increasingly important as we age, providing a source of strength, comfort, and meaning that can sustain us through life's challenges and transitions. This inner work can help us transcend the limitations of our physical bodies and find deeper connections to ourselves and the world around us.

Practices for nurturing your inner life:

• Regular reflection through journaling or meditation
• Engaging with art, literature, or music that speaks to your soul
• Spending time in nature to reconnect with something larger than yourself
• Exploring spiritual or philosophical traditions that resonate with you

By investing in our inner lives, we can develop the resilience and wisdom needed to navigate the complexities of aging with grace and purpose.

7. Prepare for Death by Living Fully

Wholeness is the goal, but wholeness does not mean perfection. It means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. The sooner we understand this, the better. It's a truth that can set us free to live well, to love well, and, in the end, to die well.

Embrace life's fullness. The best preparation for death is to live authentically and fully, embracing both our strengths and our weaknesses. By accepting our whole selves – including our flaws and failures – we can live more freely and approach death with a sense of completion rather than regret.

Steps toward living and dying well:

• Practice self-acceptance, acknowledging both your light and shadow sides
• Cultivate meaningful relationships and express love openly
• Engage in activities that align with your deepest values
• Reflect on your life regularly, finding meaning in both triumphs and setbacks

By striving for wholeness rather than perfection, we can approach the end of life with a sense of peace and fulfillment, knowing that we have lived authentically and fully.

Last updated: January 25, 2025